GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

«‹›3 »

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Icochet posted:

What the gently caress is going on

Seriously. I dont understand what this is and no way in hell I'm DLing it. can someone summarize the best they can with this lunacy?

# ¿ Mar 25, 2019 22:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 13, 2024 21:45

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

1st_Panzer_Div. posted:

Honestly it's just more public facing than most Dubai sex things.

The only confusing bit is the copyright PAWS. Its the same as the one on the actual PAWS (animal adoption) one. I didn't think you could do that?

Not an expert on Garfield law but I think you can have two companies/organizations with the same name as long as they are in completely different fields

# ¿ Jun 8, 2019 04:02

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Pulcinella di Bund posted:

it feels like i have schizophrenia when i read anything about this. like i'm being gaslit by an app developer.

Yeah same, that storefront pic is not helping either

# ¿ Jun 9, 2019 03:20

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

pseudanonymous posted:

The implication of that quote is that Jim Davis has received less well-rounded concepts from the restaurant industry sector.

It really seems a crime those haven't been published or written up somewhere.

They were probably just "boring" normal family-themed restaurants with tapered expectations

or

A Pack of Kobolds posted:

he means checks that end in fewer zeroes.

This is probably the craziest of the bunch and clearly some "creative" business planning with a truckload of Saudi money backing it.

# ¿ Jun 10, 2019 22:29

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

I know one things for sure, that thing would give me the shits like you wouldn't believe. I can just tell from the photos

# ¿ Jul 6, 2019 06:19

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Aesop Poprock posted:

Looks like some bullshit your alternative health food aunt would serve when you stop by for a visit. Says theres pizza and then it�s some raw food combo of squash pur�e on taro root dough with soy �cheese� and beet pepperoni

You think that looks like healthy food?

# ¿ Jul 7, 2019 04:35

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Thots and Prayers posted:

{Arabiolosis} -- Chapter 2: Culture Clash

It's a bold writing more to use 'and' and '&' in one sentence but I admire him going for it anyways

Right, so the un-related memoir starts up again and it's just weirdly written. I think this is a byproduct of being mostly dictated?

There's some petty family bullshit and just so much hyperbole that I honestly think this might sound better when you're talking at a computer and then never reading it again:

Nathen cut and pastes a wikipedia entry on Mutaween and we know this because he starts it off

And on and on and it's clearly just a straight paste of this wiki page - these sentences are way too short and information filled. Anyways these Mutaween are not really chill dudes as you can imagine and both Wikipedia and Nathen judge them very harshly.

It's all inappropriately paced as he introduces tangents that feel strange being next to descriptions of how lovely it is to be perceived as gay:

:The More You Know Star.gif:

Nathen apparently found it difficult to cut and paste from some sources:

A couple of pages of Nathen expounding on the question "What is a man, really?" follow. This finishes with a bunch of hypotheticals, including some more revealing than others:

When he complains about Saudi Arabia being boring, I think that's code for 'I watch a lot of daytime TV':

Nathen buddy, piece of free advice - if you keep saying this it starts to get weird:

He complains and complains for the rest of the chapter

He also recounts fights he had with his father and hoo boy that is some boring poo poo and yay the chapter is over.

Up next: Chapter 3: Teenage Nathen is a handful

Orange you glad we're getting these summaries? thanks !

# ¿ Jul 16, 2019 02:37

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Mr Luxury Yacht posted:

Update: Found the flavor of the garfaccino. It was entirely contained in a mass of raw orange peels hiding in the bottom of the cup that just dumps into your mouth all at once when you try and finish the coffee. Gross.

# ¿ Jul 19, 2019 19:04

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Xaintrailles posted:

Chapter 7: Nathen gives birth to a fine, healthy litter of puppies.

lol

# ¿ Jul 26, 2019 19:05

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

it feels weird.. the garfield man talking to me

# ¿ Oct 3, 2019 05:27

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

gently caress SNEEP posted:

please, he just wants to talk to someone...anyone.

Are You Entergaged Yet?

you know... I think I am.

Last Chance fucked around with this message at 13:54 on Oct 3, 2019

# ¿ Oct 3, 2019 06:12

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Big Beef City posted:

Yeah no I'm not going to lick Garfield themed takeout off the floor

i'll be damned if that wouldn't be funny to tweet a video of someone doing this to nathen

# ¿ Oct 5, 2019 16:20

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Garfield Dark Chocolate

# ¿ Nov 8, 2019 04:51

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

this thread never fails to entergage

# ¿ Dec 18, 2019 20:15

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Yeah, wow, I wonder who wrote all of that? Bet it was #NathenMazri

# ¿ Jan 23, 2020 22:53

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Killingyouguy! posted:

So was this uncomfortable tweet nathens doing or not

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSapp/status/1220277359615643649?s=19

I'm just going nimbly jump out on this limb here and whisper "yes"

# ¿ Jan 24, 2020 14:17

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

EL BROMANCE posted:

https://twitter.com/garfieldfan2005/status/1001591601670520832

My friend is flying from Toronto tomorrow and I'm trying to convince him to visit GarfieldEats before he flies so I can fulfill my dream of being the first man to consume one of these "pizzas" in Florida. He has outright refused to go in before when I asked.

JEsus, does this person owe you a life debt? i wouldn't put my friends through that

# ¿ Feb 12, 2020 20:38

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Gomi Day posted:

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSapp/status/1239742774695596034

Lol wow.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2020 05:03

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Is he lashing out because covid-19 is presumably hurting his business even more than it was already hurting?

# ¿ Mar 21, 2020 18:55

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Mega64 posted:

Let he who hasn�t opened a restaurant based on their favorite newspaper comic cast the first stone.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2020 02:05

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

whydirt posted:

I just want a video showing how to turn a Garficcino cup into an N95 mask

Lol

# ¿ Mar 24, 2020 02:06

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

CodfishCartographer posted:

I kinda stopped posting screenshots of his crazy instagram stories cus tbh it's all the same poo poo, but this one particularly stood out as hilarious / worrying, but for completely different reasons.

I am humbled to hear that

# ¿ Mar 25, 2020 01:32

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Christ, that smile mask. Seems like something from a movie. A "sane" garfield mask would just be orange with maybe stripes on it or something

# ¿ May 23, 2020 02:34

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

EVERY TIME GOING posted:

Someone needs to tell Nathen that his semi-regular casings of the nearby women's shelter do not constitute as valid operations against the ANTIGARF operatives that want to close down his restaurants.

lol

wait is he doing that for real?

# ¿ Jun 3, 2020 14:12

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVI-xVWZf3k

# ¿ Jun 14, 2020 20:47

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

someone yelled at him that he has to step poo poo up so he's going to do some kind of half assed stunt and i hope he wears the terrifying garfield teeth mask when he does whatever that is

# ¿ Jul 24, 2020 23:31

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Frank Frank posted:

Oh and you'll be happy to know that order payments that you might make to the garfieldeats website go straight to nathen.mazri@garfieldeats.com. Sign of a quality business right there.

Lol very classy

# ¿ Nov 26, 2020 06:25

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

This is Garfucked! We stand behind you Nathan!

# ¿ Dec 1, 2020 15:10

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdVadyEAJxI
i had no idea either. must be from one of the films, i think that's what I'm seeing in that video.

# ¿ Dec 17, 2020 21:33

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

i like the part when nathen is green screened into his own restaurant lol

# ¿ Dec 21, 2020 18:52

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

this thread is great and i really like the phrase "are you not entergaged?" it makes me giggle hehe

# ¿ Jan 7, 2021 14:51

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Tato posted:

It's coming. Will YOU be the lucky one to win 12 lasagnas?

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSco/status/1358940921447018504

those poor people in the video

# ¿ Feb 9, 2021 19:45

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Lt. Cock posted:

Lotta Nathen in my feeds today.

"by bringing Garfield back as food"

...

# ¿ Feb 12, 2021 20:30

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Also, I literally can't watch that video. It's too painfully awkward. Like it hurts me

# ¿ Feb 12, 2021 20:30

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

I finally finished the drat thing after drinking a couple beers. I did laugh at that hole comment. But wow. He also does say �holy gently caress!� A couple of times in the video, right? I wasn�t hallucinating?

# ¿ Feb 13, 2021 06:39

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Peanut Butter posted:

She needs to leak it

It looked like a prop to me. I noticed right away that Nathan was careful to not open it facing the camera. I bet it's just blank pages in there, or maybe he scrawled ENTERGAGE in orange sharpie on each page during a manic episode.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2021 17:49

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

so against my better judgement, I watched the intro to that "documentary" video again and it showed a person working at Garfield Eats named "Noel" in the opening credits, but god help me I don't want to watch the whole thing twice, but i don't remember that person being in the video at all. maybe Noel didnt sign the release?

# ¿ Feb 15, 2021 19:35