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when your lady friend says "oh yes" you should immediately stop and high five her and say "NICE" when your dude is really into it, ask him if he knows about everything being a soup in a bread bowl when someone asks you if you want to 69, be prepared! that's the funny weed number and that means they want to smonk the Baphomet's Broccoli with you! |
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Mar 16, 2019 18:45
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get down between their thighs and make Darth Vader noses but really you're having an asthma attack
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Mar 16, 2019 18:48
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the safe word is "prestidigitation" b but you have crippling anxiety and a stutter
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Mar 16, 2019 18:49
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Call out your partner's last name shortly before being done so prove that yes, you indeed know it for certain. Add the birth date for additional success.
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Mar 16, 2019 20:22
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Bribe the Russian judge to give you all 10s. |
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Mar 16, 2019 20:30
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always say pistol and stamen, never peen and vajayjay
Areola Grande fucked around with this message at 15:14 on Mar 17, 2019 |
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Mar 16, 2019 21:48
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i cant have the sex because every time the ding dongs and the butts come out i just start laughin because lol butts and lol ding dongs (and cooters and boobers i guess too also)
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Mar 16, 2019 23:01
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hamjobs posted:
And then ask him if he would like to eat some soup in a bread bowl?
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Mar 16, 2019 23:33
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glowing-fish posted:And then ask him if he would like to eat some soup in a bread bowl? You've got the soup, I've got the breadbowl . . . Let's make lots of sexy!
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Mar 16, 2019 23:44
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*taking notes furiously* so how does ghosts figure into this? |
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Mar 16, 2019 23:51
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Nosfereefer posted:*taking notes furiously* Don't be considered soup while sex, also don't lose parts of you inside other people, which can be challenging due to gravity's effect on soup.
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Mar 16, 2019 23:57
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You might not think fabric softener is that big of a deal, but take it from me, a pro sex haver: don't underestimate its value. Rough sheets end in defeats. Or maybe clean linen to keep your partners grinnin. Feather beddin is less upsettin. And so on.
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Mar 17, 2019 00:01
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i'm gonna breadbowl that butthole lmao
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Mar 17, 2019 00:24
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put ur soup in me |
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Mar 17, 2019 00:44
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"I want you to toss my salad." "Well, technically..." |
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Mar 17, 2019 00:57
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Tebulot posted:put ur soup in me 
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Mar 17, 2019 01:12
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does eating a female latina's tacos count as sex? |
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Mar 17, 2019 01:16
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I'd like to apologize to byob for my last post itt I had no idea that smiley would be so... graphic |
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Mar 17, 2019 01:28
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Flippimg around, slappin parts and hollrin n hootin and having a real good time
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Mar 17, 2019 02:03
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Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!
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Korean Boomhauer posted:i cant have the sex because every time the ding dongs and the butts come out i just start laughin because lol butts and lol ding dongs (and cooters and boobers i guess too also)
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Mar 17, 2019 03:14
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google THIS posted:"I want you to toss my salad." |
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Mar 17, 2019 03:47
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Goons Are Great posted:Don't be considered soup while sex, also don't lose parts of you inside other people, which can be challenging due to gravity's effect on soup. Or you can possess them and not have to deal with your ectoplasm getting all up in her valley. You’re the one controlling her then. |
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Mar 17, 2019 03:53
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Korean Boomhauer posted:i cant have the sex because every time the ding dongs and the butts come out i just start laughin because lol butts and lol ding dongs (and cooters and boobers i guess too also) ever time I think about doin the nasty I start a hootin n hollerin and roflmaoin because the whole dang idea is so preposterous I just can't get with it and I think it's cause the dang ol penis is just a frickin joke
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Mar 17, 2019 04:35
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safe sex is all about keeping your soup outta the breadbowl so you gotta use protection: have you tried Tupperware
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Mar 17, 2019 04:36
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vanisher posted:You might not think fabric softener is that big of a deal, but take it from me, a pro sex haver: don't underestimate its value. Rough sheets end in defeats. Or maybe clean linen to keep your partners grinnin. Feather beddin is less upsettin. And so on. Soft blanket or you have to crank it https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4
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Mar 17, 2019 05:11
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nesamdoom posted:Soft blanket or you have to crank it Nice pillow only or you get to sleep lonely
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Mar 17, 2019 05:13
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Nosfereefer posted:does eating a female latina's tacos count as sex? My coconut wife would object to this
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Mar 17, 2019 05:20
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Nosfereefer posted:female latina Hmmm. |
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Mar 17, 2019 05:23
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Don't forget to wash up before and after doing the deed Especially if it's for a large parcel of land, those land specifications are wicked difficult and you'll get ink all over your hands
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Mar 17, 2019 05:43
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hamjobs posted:safe sex is all about keeping your soup outta the breadbowl so you gotta use protection: Yes.
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Mar 17, 2019 12:41
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In recent sexual adventures I learned an important thing, so let's teach the youth about it as they can learn from us: Clothes may appear appealing during sex, but at least the lower part of clothes should be removed in the sexual process to prevent sexual overflow. Next time my partner and me will try out going a step further and even open the shoes, will report back once that happened!
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Mar 17, 2019 12:44
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if fire comes out of your pee pee, congratulations, it's a boy |
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Mar 17, 2019 15:45
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this thread is too hot for TV
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Mar 17, 2019 17:44
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Jaded Burnout posted:if fire comes out of your pee pee, congratulations, it's a boy if the fire comes out of ur b-hole it's a chilidog if you belch fire it's a girl yay
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Mar 17, 2019 18:21
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hello hi yes, it is me. the professional sex haver |
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Mar 17, 2019 18:38
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Dick Bastardly posted:this thread is too hot for TV i think you will find it is precisely hot enough for me. the professional sex haver |
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Mar 17, 2019 18:39
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gently caress on the stove top, but only when it's on doesn't work for induction hobs though unless you have piercings? brb |
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Mar 17, 2019 18:40
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Jaded Burnout posted:gently caress on the stove top, but only when it's on pro tier scientific method here 
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Mar 17, 2019 19:14
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TVsVeryOwn posted:i think you will find it is precisely hot enough for me. the professional sex haver ah yes, a colleague of mine, someone who definitely has "touched genitals"
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Mar 17, 2019 19:14
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Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, sex is not for everyone??? So don't do it on the sidewalk or you'll get some sick road rash and probably hurt ur nuts
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Mar 17, 2019 19:19
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