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In unrelated news rhe funeral of Dwight's grandfather is next week.
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Mar 22, 2024 08:13
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 03:06 |
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Jim replaces Dwight's blood with jello
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Mar 22, 2024 09:52
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Jim encases Dwight's stapler in blood pudding.
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Mar 22, 2024 11:04
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Jim encases Dwight's stapler in Dwight's blood pudding. Dwight is too exsanguinated to call for Michael.
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Mar 22, 2024 11:06
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Dwight goes to the Stapler Supply Closet to get a new stapler but someone has arranged them, the staplers, Jenga-style so that if Dwight selects the wrong one the whole business will come clattering down and make a big loud mess.
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Mar 22, 2024 11:17
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Everytime Dwight catches Jim with no witness he slaps the poo poo out of him. Because of Jim's history of bullying and pulling pranks, nobody believes him. Jim cuts that poo poo out going forward. But Dwight keeps slapping the poo poo out of him for a couple more months until he's satisfied with how much of a shell of a man Jim has become.
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Mar 22, 2024 12:07
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Dwight goes to the Stapler Supply Closet to get a new stapler but someone has arranged them, the staplers, Jenga-style so that if Dwight selects the wrong one the whole paper business will come clattering down and make everyone unemployed.
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Mar 22, 2024 12:16
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Jim arranges all of the buildings in the Scranton Industrial Park Jenga-style, forcing Dwight (and everyone else) to climb up a deadly tower of mismatched buildings in order to go to work. To make matters worse, Jim specifically aimed all the sewage pipes directly over Dwight's "Salesman of the month" parking space.
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Mar 22, 2024 13:04
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Jim arranges the world economy Jenga-style, forcing Dwight (and everyone else) to toil endlessly in pursuit of constant economic expansion or risk global catastrophe. To make matters worse, even if constant economic expansion is somehow achieved, catastrophe is inevitable anyway because the environmental cost will render the planet uninhabitable. Jim smirks at Dwight from across the daily traffic jam on the way to work.
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Mar 22, 2024 14:06
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Dwight, although he excelled inhis career at Dunder Mifflin, which he loved along with (most of) his coworkers, tenders his resignation to Michael. He quits, due to the constant pranking. It just became too much. Dwight has taken a job with the corporate team at Staples, and will report directly to Josh Porter, their COO, North America. Michael is sad to see him go, and they order a sheet cake (with a single tic-tac laying on it, to reflect the millions of reams of paper which he sold during his tenure) and hang up a printed paper chain reading "It is your last day." After heartfelt, and in some cases tearful goodbyes, Dwight leaves the office for the last time. The next day, Dwight walks into the office and sits down at his desk. He pauses for a half second, as if trying to remember something. Shaking his head, he picks up his phone and begins to dial a client. If he gets a head start on the day, he might be able to meet his quota before one of Jim's juvenile pranks delays him! Across the desk island, as he's waiting on the phone, Dwight notices Jim inexplicably smirking at him, as if in on some cosmic joke. "What?" "Nothing, buddy. Nothing."
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Mar 22, 2024 14:22
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Jim steals Dwight's memories and sells them on the black market.
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Mar 22, 2024 14:36
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It's "90s Day" at Dunder Mifflin Scranton and everyone takes part, although Jim previously convinced Dwight and Angela that it's actually "1590s Day". Angela arrives looking like Queen Elizabeth the first and Dwight shows up exactly as such: Jim, wearing a neon green shirt that just says "RAIDCAL" on it mugs for the camera, then chugs a Surge.
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Mar 22, 2024 14:36
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Jim chucks a surge at Dwight electrocuting him instantly. "Radical", quibs Jim.
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Mar 22, 2024 14:44
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A Fancy Hat posted:Jim, wearing a neon green shirt that just says "RAIDCAL" on it mugs for the camera, then chugs a Surge. "Jim, is that some kind of cheap bootleg t-shirt? I'm pretty sure you mean 'radical' for the whole '90s thing, but it's spelled--" Dwight is interrupted when Jim sprays a can of roach killer directly into his face.
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Mar 22, 2024 14:47
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Jim spends the day finely chopping and dicing extremely strong chilis, using protective gloves, an apron, and an industrial strength anti-flop hairnet to ensure the cleanliness of the result product and to ensure he, Jim, doesn't get any chili oils on his, Jim's, skin Dwight watches with a growing sense of foreboding
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Mar 22, 2024 14:47
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Jim's neon green "RAIDCAL" shirt dissolves in the washing machine after a single wash. "Ahhh man, turbo bummer!" "Jim," Pam says with a sigh, "90s day was last week. You can stop talking like that. Please. The kids are getting worried." "Like, totally, babe, you got it." Later that day, Pam has a psychotic break as Jim looks through the fridge and says "We got some soda, O.J., purple stuff, Sunny D!"
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Mar 22, 2024 14:52
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On his, Jim’s, lunch break, Jim reads a book entitled Dwight Dies at the End, occasionally waggling his eyebrows at Dwight over the top of the book.
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Mar 22, 2024 15:10
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It's 90s day at the office and Jim chugs a Surge cola as he tells Dwight, "We've got some soda, O.J. -" Dwight stops listening as OJ Simpson walks out of the conference room and takes a seat at the third desk of the island. Jim and Dwight exchange nervous glances.
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Mar 22, 2024 15:17
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It's 90s day at the office and everyone is sweating profusely. Dwight can barely stand it but refuses to relax his strict dress code. Jim mugs at the camera as he turns the thermostat from 96 to 97. Meredith must be taken to the hospital for heat exhaustion.
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Mar 22, 2024 15:44
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It's "90s Day" at the office and Jim has bent everything at a perfect right angle. Dwight looks, sadly, at his L-shaped keyboard and realizes he's not getting much work done today.
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Mar 22, 2024 15:48
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It's "90s Day" at the office and the 90 Jims are disappointed that there are not 90 Dwights present to prank.
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Mar 22, 2024 15:50
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Jim is in charge of "90s day" at the office. This is a prank on Dwight because--although he had been anticipating their first-hand perspectives on the technological and economic development of the paper industry in the early 20th century--he finds that the doddering nonagenarians milling about the office are far too senile to be anything but a distraction.
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Mar 22, 2024 15:55
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Erasable Penis posted:It's "90s Day" at the office and the 90 Jims are disappointed that there are not 90 Dwights present to prank. Jim becomes a millionaire after his "90 Jims Agree" ad campaign rockets Dunder Mifflin to new heights of popularity. In it, 90 Jims compare Dunder Mifflin paper to the leading competitor and agree that Dunder Mifflin beats it every time. Unfortunately, a million dollars split 90 ways isn't as much as you'd think and the 90 Jims soon begin to argue over how to divide the money. The tension causes a massive rift, leading to the formation of 19 Jims, the 50 Jim Initiative, Just One Jim, A Baker's Dozen Jims, and A Week of Jim (which is the last 7 Jims). None of these projects succeed nearly as well and, soon enough, all 90 Jims are working again at Dunder Mifflin. Michael grows increasingly frustrated as his requests for 89 more desks and office chairs are continually rejected for being too expensive.
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Mar 22, 2024 16:00
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it's 90s day at the office - the sun races across a screaming sky as the earth rotates entirely in just 90 seconds. the atmosphere of the planet is ripped off and boils howling into space. the office workers are all by this point mercifully dead. jim didn't have anything to do with this
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Mar 22, 2024 16:16
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Jim convinces Dwight to invest over $100K in a rare, graded, sealed, and collector's copy of Super Mario Brothers for the NES, swearing it'll be a great investment that will likely see a price of over a million dollars in a few years. Dwight does the market research and decides to go for it, and wins the auction at $159,300. Just as the auctioneer is says, "going once, going twice..." and is about to drop the hammer, Dwight finally realizes Jim is the auctioneer! Pulling out a comically oversized mallet from behind the podium, Auctioneer Jim lifts it overhead the audience goes nuts with the anticipation of him smashing the game. Instead, Auctioneer Jim delicate taps the cartoonishly large hammer on the podium and says in a cute voice, "sold." Dwight breathes a sigh of relief and goes to collect his prized game. Dwight absconds with the sealed game and gently polishes the acrylic case as Angela drives him home. "I already verifed the authenticity," Dwight admits, his heart racing. "I can 100% prove this is good. It's a legit sealed copy of the game. God, I thought Jim was going to prank me there." "Yeah, I thought he was, too," Angela says, watching Dwight baby the case, and thinking privately that even the sun shines on poo poo every so often... In the confessional segment, Jim is asked why he didn't prank Dwight. Jim just smiles, counting out the money.
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Mar 22, 2024 16:17
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“It’s 90’s day!” announces Jim with wacky jazz hands and a little dance routine walking into the office “This show came out in like, 2005, the 90’s would have been five years ago?” Phyllis mugs the camera quizzically In a 1:1 interview with the camera Phyllis expresses concern that decade nostalgia is happening too quickly several dozen tiny Jims have stalked a hatchling race car bed and successfully cornered it in the conference room and while the young bed is much larger than the Jims they work as a team to exhaust it before they successfully pull it to the ground and subdue it before dragging off set the edges of the set appear briefly on camera, the vast arid plains of the Race Car Bed visible beyond the set walls, ruining the illusion that this was filmed in an actual office “THE SHADOW REALM!!” Phyllis appears on camera again, hovering around gf the ground several inches, her eyes glowing red briefly before landing and speaking directly to the camera in a wavering but endearing voice “Some of you may have questions about this so called Shadow Realm that’s been hinted to exist by some of the posts made by Forums User Naem. Yes, it is true that the landscape is a race car bed and desert at once, and there are also race car beds that seem to be semi anthropomorphic living there. How did a film set come to be in such a place? Why do our eyes glow red? These and other questions can be answered! You see, back in 2005-“ A ceiling tile breaks in half and actor Stanley Tucci collapses onto the conference table interrupting Phyllis, followed by actress Aubrey Plaza. a large volume of acorns follows, nearly burying the conference room. grabbing handfuls of the acorns and stuffing them hurriedly into the waistband of their matching nude body suits (painted to look like Emily Blunt) they run laughing off camera to stage left. “I’m going to get you! I’m going to get you, Stanley Tucci! I’m gonna get you, Aubrey Plaza! Give me those almonds!!” Daryl (the character Daryl not the actor Craig Robinson) runs comically after the retreating pair Fade to black, the theme song to Brooklyn 99 plays
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Mar 22, 2024 16:34
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It's 90s Day at the office and Jim drops 600 gallons of Nickelodeon green slime on Dwight. As Dwight slowly staggers back to his feet, Jim pulls out a fire hose. "It's SLIME TIME!" Jim squeals as he uses the hose to spray even more slime at Dwight. The force of the slime pushes Dwight all the way to the window and, horrifically, pushes him outside. Dwight and hundreds of gallons of green slime smash through the glass and land in the parking lot below. "Oh, poo poo," Jim says, obviously worried. "Oh, poo poo, dude. He's okay, right? The slime cushioned his fall, right?" Creed looks out the window and sadly shakes his head. "I can't take the fall for this. And you idiots will throw me under the bus in a second, won't you? WON'T YOU!?!? Yeah, only one way out of this for ol' Jimmy Halpert." Jim then places the nozzle of the hose under his chin and launches another volley of green slime. The force of it turns Jim's head into a red paste and his decapitated body falls to the ground. As it does, a groan is heard outside. Creed pops his head out again. "Oh, wait, Dwight's fine."
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Mar 22, 2024 17:31
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Jim and Dwight are in Pittsburgh for a sales conference, so Jim offers to take Dwight out for lunch. Jim ends up taking Dwight to Jason Aldean's Bar and Grill (https://jasonaldeansbar.com/menu-pittsburgh/), forcing Dwight to pay 19 dollars for some poorly prepared salmon. Jim shoves his face full of 16 dollar nachos and mentions that Dwight shouldn't "Try that in a small town". When Dwight asks what Jim's referring to, Jim gives him a knowing look and simply says "oh, you know." Jim then purchases a 40 dollar trucker hat (https://store.jasonaldean.com/collections/all-products/products/highway-deperado-trucker-hat) and puts in on the expense report for the trip. Weeks later, Jim is questioned about the exorbitant lunch bill. "Oh, that's because fatass over there," he motions to Dwight, "kept asking for more food. Sorry, I should have itemized that. I guess just take it out of his paycheck." Jim mugs for the camera and plops his trucker hat on his floppy head.
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Mar 22, 2024 17:59
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Jim squats on top of Dwight's desk, eating whole raw onions
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Mar 22, 2024 18:02
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Dwight arrives at work to see that Jim has stacked all the desks into a sort of "Desk Jenga." The stack teeters precariously, the removal of any single desk could spell disaster. Dwight's phone starts ringing from somewhere in the middle of the desk tower. Jim mugs from his perch atop the pile as Dwight begins the long and dangerous climb to answer his phone.
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Mar 23, 2024 03:05
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Dwight is taking his usual Saturday walk around scenic Lake Scranton when he sees Jim dressed up in a yellow raincoat, rubber hat, fishing waders, and kitchen gloves making a huge spectacle of himself with a fishing rod at the water's edge. Dwight looks away and begins to reverse course when Jim spots him and shouts. "Dwight? DWIGHT," Jim screams, "Please! I need your help! I've got a big one! I need help, I'm going to lose it! Please, Dwight, please! I need you to help me!" Dwight, feeling pangs of compassion runs up to Jim and offers to help. "Just take the rod, Dwight! My arms are too tired, I can't... I can't, anymore..." Dwight grips the rod and after several minutes of fighting with the fish he finally succeeds in winning the battle. After Dwight hands the huge fish over, Jim hugs his coworker and thanks him. "My family will eat tonight, matey! Thanks so much Dwight! I mean that, thanks." Jim then looks at himself, "I suppose I could have bought a family fish feast from Long John's instead of buying this entire Gorton's fisherman outfit, but hey, FREE FISH." "About that, Jim. If I give you this fish, you'll eat for the day, but if I teach you to fish, you could eat for a lifetime." "I know how to fish, Dwight." "I know, but metaphorically, I mean, if I gave you some advice on finances, you could better support yourself. You know..." "No time to talk, Dwight, I need to get home and fry this baby up," Jim grabs the fish and the fishing rod and goes running off into the horizon. Dwight shakes his head... Later, Jim arrives home and dumps the fish into the backseat of Pam's Dodge Neon and goes into the house and into his workshop. He carefully begins separating the grip of the fishing rod and making it into the handle of a knife. Staring up at a corkboard of newspaper clippings, police reports, forensics documents, and crime scene photos, Jim examines the 'murder weapon' that has Dwight's fingerprints and DNA all over it and smiles to himself as places it into a plastic bag. Now, all he has to do is follow Kevin around for a few more days and wait for him to kill again and then leave the knife at the crime scene.
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Mar 23, 2024 05:09
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Jim wears a chicken costume to work and lays an egg on Dwight's desk.
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Mar 23, 2024 16:16
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Jim wears a chicken costume to work and lays an "egg" on Dwight's desk.
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Mar 23, 2024 16:36
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Jim lays Dwight's desk. Dwight is unable to work effectively, as the desk is smoking a cigarette in bed after two disappointing minutes
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Mar 23, 2024 17:03
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With the help of Uncle Jimtendo, Jim invites Birdo to The Office where she promptly spits a very large egg directly at Dwight’s face at an impossible rate of speed. Dwight’s glasses provide only minimal protection as the exploding egg shatters the front of his, Dwight’s, face into an unrecognizable mess. Dwight twitches feebly on the ground, covered in blood, yolk, and shell fragments. “Wow Dwight! I’ve heard of having egg on your face, but this is ridiculous!” says Jim, who then begins tongue kissing Birdo.
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Mar 23, 2024 17:31
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“Jim lays Birdo, which then-“ Dwight reads this aloud with growing confusion. “WHAT THE HELL? Is someone printing their fanfic at the company printer again?!” Darryl guiltily looks around and takes the rest of the day off.
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Mar 23, 2024 17:35
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On Jim's advice, Elon Musk (dressed as Waluigi) relocates Dunder-Mifflin to that cave where the boy scouts got trapped. Dwight has to commute to work in a submarine steered by a PS2-compatible 3rd party controller and is sure at any second that he's going to die. Jim mugs for the Logitech webcam that acts as the sub's periscope.
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Mar 23, 2024 18:13
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Jim eggs Dwight on until Dwight snaps and brushes Jim slightly on the shoulders. Jim presses charges and gets Dwight fired. The damages awarded to Jim bankrupt Schrute farms. Jim mugs the rear view mirror as speeds past Dwight's tent near Scranton's interstate exit and through a puddle splashing Dwight head to toe.
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Mar 23, 2024 18:32
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Jim files dozens of frivolous lawsuits against Dwight, Shrute Farms, and Dunder Mifflin. They are dismissed or withdrawn over the course of the next several years, but the experience is stressful, expensive, and time consuming for Dwight. Jim mugs for the freeway (his giant smirking face is on a billboard advertising a disreputable plaintiffs lawfirm).
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Mar 23, 2024 18:37
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 03:06 |
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Jim raids Dwight's desk and snaps all his pencils in half.
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Mar 23, 2024 19:31
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