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Jim’s in charge of bringing a side dish to the office potluck but just brings a bag of chips he bought at the gas station on the way to work.
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Apr 21, 2024 12:04
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| # ? May 7, 2024 20:41 |
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Jim is sick and loses all interest in pranking. Dwight must nurse Jim back to health by spoon-feeding hot clown broth to Jim as Jim lays in bed with a thermometer in his mouth and an ice bag on his head.
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Apr 21, 2024 16:25
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Jim gets hypnotized so that the phonemes 'Sp' and 'Pr' are always reversed in his head. He starts spanking Dwight, then goes home and pranks his monkey.
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Apr 21, 2024 16:37
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Chips flies into a rage upon being pranked and bites Jim's entire face off, leaving Jim with a "blank face."
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Apr 21, 2024 17:02
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Dwight takes a big bite out of his lunch, a tuna mayo sandwich. "STOP! NO! SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT QUICK! I'M SORRY!" Jim yells, Dwight quickly heaves the contents of his mouth onto the plate. "What's wrong with it Jim?" Dwight says, wiping his mouth and looking down at his now ruined sandwich, "Did you do something to it?" Jim walks out of the cafeteria, his attention now on something completely different.
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Apr 21, 2024 17:16
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Jim’s dementia progresses to the level that he can no longer take basic care of himself, and instead just stares “blank faced” out into space all day. “I don’t know how we don’t recognize it,” whispers an ashamed Oscar. “I mean, he was acting like a true crazy person for the last several years there.” “It’s funny how things change slowly, until one day, when we realize they’ve changed completely,” agrees Kevin. “But it does give me some comfort to know the Jim I remember has truly been dead for years. This… this shell of a body. It wasn’t him.” Unfortunately for Dwight, as part of an aborted prank several years prior, Jim named him sole caregiver with power of attorney. This means that, Jim now being legally deemed unfit to manage his affairs, Dwight must assume the role of executor to the many outstanding claims and judgements being paid out of the Halpert estate. Jim also is moved into an upstairs room of Dwight’s house, where he requires constant care, which is a significant monetary and emotional burden. Although Jim has seemingly given up pranking, and is instead content to stare into space all day, his face occasionally takes on an expression as though he were mugging a camera.
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Apr 21, 2024 20:05
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Jim enshrines his memories in a magic flute and leaves it on a planet where Captain Picard will have to find it and experience his entire life
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Apr 21, 2024 21:44
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Jim enshrines his memory of the Magic Flute in the culture of the office. Meredith gamely attempts the Queen of the Night aria and has to be taken to the hospital.
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Apr 21, 2024 22:53
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The Flute of Forgetting, which contains all of Jim’s stolen memories, acts as an evil lorebook which contains the instructions to thousands of forbidden pranks which are lost to time. Generations of evil pranksters make the dangerous venture into the bowels of the Dunder Mifflin office complex, braving danger to find the secrets of the legendary prankster. The flute was secretly taken by Creed for his jam band.
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Apr 22, 2024 00:04
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Jim sends Dwights near dead body to another planet clutching a copy of the American office. The weekend there tend to Dwights wings and understanding little create an environment there based on the DVD in his hands
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Apr 22, 2024 00:44
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Jim gives Dwight a birthday card. It is a popup birthday card and inside is a diorama of Jim giving Dwight a birthday card. Dwight realises that this is no diorama: it's a time rift that opens the exact moment that he opened the card and viewed its contents. Dwight is trapped eternally in this one unending moment, forced to witness himself caged unwillingly into this purgatorial existence, unable to stop himself from entering this eternal loop
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Apr 22, 2024 00:51
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Lizzo visits The Office and twerks whilst playing the Magic Flute, causing minor controversy among the more conservative associates.
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Apr 22, 2024 01:02
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Jim starts a garage band called “A Band Called: Velocity Prime”, which is an overly confusing name but does perfectly represent the early 2000s ska/pop/punk vibe he’s going for. Imagine the theme song to America’s Funniest Home Videos but with a guy going “consumerist sheep, make me feel like a creep, all my veins are bleeding” and you get the idea. Anyway, Jim starts this band and books out venues months and years in advance, despite never having performed. In fact, he does this by paying the venues to host him. As such, all of Scranton’s best underground music spots (Kiss my Jazz, The Rupture, Cafe Disco) are booked out and unable to host any other bands. Dwight, who just wants to listen to some goddamn jazz and chill out one night, is instead told that the venue is hosting 6 months of Jim’s band. Jim mugs for the camera before starting the first song of his set - “Cruel Blooded Lady Got Me Feeling Some Way (A Song of Blood 1)”. Like all his other songs, it mostly sounds like the theme song to America’s Funniest Home Videos but, in this song, Jim does some throat singing.
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Apr 22, 2024 03:27
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Jim shows up at work with famous Hollywood actor, John Krasinski. "Everyone, can I have your attention! This is my good friend and the man I stunt double for, John Krasinski! Anytime you see a stunt in his movies and on his Amazon TV shows, I'm doing it for him! Pretty cool, huh! I bet you're all pretty jealous!" "It's all blue screen and computers these days, Jim, you aren't doing anything," Dwight barely looks up from his desk, unimpressed by Jim. However, he gives a slight nod to John. "Mr. Krasinski, pleasure to meet you, though..." "Jim, can I see you over in the, um..., I guess a 'quiet place' we can talk?" John looks cautiously around the room. "Sure, Johnny..." As the pair close to break room door behind them, John Krasinski strips off his clothes and orders Jim to do the same. "Um, this is kind of weird, not that I'm not into this... Do you want to do it on the floor or..." "Shut up, 'John'," John threateningly states to Jim. "Put these on, give me yours." "Ah, I see what you're doing! We're going to be doing some sort of prank! Dude, you are speaking my-" "SHUT. UP. 'JOHN'," John coldly looks at Jim, again, then forcibly straightens Jim's hair to have that trademark John Krasinski smoothness. "I don't prank..." John reaches into the clothes currently on Jim's body and pulls out a metal shard wrapped in cloth from an inside pocket. "...I shank. Now, we're going to go back out there and I'm going turn that turd's mustard-color shirt ketchup red, then I'm going to take you hostage and drive off in 'my' Tesla and drive somewhere and change back to our regular clothes, you got it?" 15 minutes later, Jim and John are cleaning themselves up and changing their clothes at an abandoned mall parking lot. "Thank you, Jim, I really needed to shank someone, again. Don't worry, everyone will just write this off as another 'wacky Jim prank'. Oh, I'm going to need to keep the car, too, Jim. Just until I get to the airport. I'll tell everyone that I escaped your clutches, or something, and where they can find you." "Cool, cool..." Jim looked around, bored. "Um, when are we going back to start the next season of Jack Ryan?" "Jim, that leaky bucket was right. It's all computers, you don't actually do a thing, except be able to take a fall for a violent, perhaps even fatal, assault. I'm sure it'll all work out for you in the end. Well, see ya..." "Hey, John, wait!" Jim pulls out the shank from his pants pocket. "You left this in my pants. Do you want it back?" John delicately licked his lips and debated for a few seconds. "No... You hold onto that, Jim. It's a gift that signifies our personal bond. You hold onto it real tight and never let anyone take it from you, ever. You got that, buddy? You should probably kill anyone who tries to take it from you. Anyway, why don't you just find a way into the mall and wait for your ride to pick you up and I'll talk to you later. Take care, Jim." "You too, John!" The Tesla zoomed another 3 miles before the charge ran out, leaving John Krasinski to run the rest of the way to the airport. At the mall, Jim was surrounded by police for the murder of Dwight Schrute. Over the next several days in the jail hospital bed, suffering from wounds sustained in his struggle to hold onto the knife, Jim insisted that Dwight would just wake back up from death like he always did and he'd be back out on the streets, again. For some reason, Dwight didn't spring back to life as he had before. For the first time in his own life, Jim felt true anxiety and maybe even fear. Why wasn't Dwight coming back this time!? Was it because John had killed Dwight? No. NO! Jim sat back in his bed, the IV line drip feeding him painkillers. He had to focus. He had to imagine Dwight was stabbed to death by John as part of a prank! They switched identities! That's a prank! All he had to do was think it hard enough and Dwight would automatically revive so the eternal cycle of pranking could continue and Jim would have to be set free! Just concentr--- "He's becoming agitated again, Sheriff, I need to adjust his IV rate," the nurse said. "If it were up to me, he wouldn't get anything for the pain," the sheriff spat. "The only thing I'd give him is the chair for what he did to Dwig--" Jim's eyes fluttered as he drifted back into darkness.
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Apr 22, 2024 05:53
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has anyone said Jim shoots Dwight with a gun yet?
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Apr 22, 2024 05:54
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Jim shoots Dwight with a gun yet?
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Apr 22, 2024 08:17
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Jim boils his poop in Dwight's pee
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Apr 22, 2024 10:11
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Jim shoots Dwight with a gun, but it’s a prank gun that shoots out a little flag that says BANG. However, the prank gun is fired at very close range and the end of the flag stabs Dwight in the eye. (Dwight’s glasses were in the shop that day).
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Apr 22, 2024 11:16
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egg_dog posted:Jim boils his poop in Dwight's pee At last, the secret recipe for clown gas is revealed
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Apr 22, 2024 11:18
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Which is why Jim is always stealing Dwight's pee! We've cracked the case!
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Apr 22, 2024 11:18
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Dwight's glasses are in the shop getting the lenses rotated thanks to a pamphlet Dwight found in the printer tray with eyewear maintenance tips from "Dr. Mij Treplah."
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Apr 22, 2024 12:08
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Jim boils his poop in Dwight's pee. The smell in the kitchen is foul beyond imagination. Jim has to wear a respirator and even that doesn't filter out all the stink, but under the respirator mask, Jim is smirking. A golden glow illuminates Jim's face. Combined with the mask he almost resembles a Minion. The camera pans down to the boiling pot. Jim's poop has been miraculously transmuted through some arcane alchemical process into pure gold!! Jim holds up an ancient text. "Boil the soil of a jester in the water of a farmer who hast been japed upon and the soil will surely mature into pure gild." "Why do you think I'm always pranking Dwight and then stealing his piss? That moon-faced stooge is making me rich!" crows Jim.
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Apr 22, 2024 12:45
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Jim boils Dwight's pee in Dwight using a high frequency microwave emitter that penetrates human tissue to a depth of 4 centimeters. When the machine is switched on, the entire office experiences a deafening high pitch ringing localized in the room. Afterwards they suffer from confusion and debilitating headaches. The CIA investigates the claims and call on the world's top neurosurgeon, Doctor Goodbrains, who concludes the victims are simply suffering from mass hysteria. Dwight confides to his urologist (Doctor Sunflower, the best urologist within 5 miles of downtown Scranton) that it burns when he pees.
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Apr 22, 2024 15:18
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Dwight suffers from complications after Dr Sunflower drastically misdiagnoses and therefore mistreats Dwight’s ailments. Dwight sues for negligent malpractice but Dr Sunflower has gone missing and his former office becomes a PA Pranksters overnight.
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Apr 22, 2024 16:09
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At the St. Mifflin monastery in 12th century Slough, England, Brother Dwight (he of the mustard-yellow frock) gets up from his desk to use the privvy, making absolutely sure to lock the illuminated manuscript he's been working on in the cupboard before leaving. Brother James (he of the floppy tonsure) uses a key he carved from a chicken bone to unlock the cupboard and access the manuscript Brother Dwight has been working on. Brother James scrawls crude pictures of penises all over the gilded pages, completely wasting seven and a half years of painstaking labor. Brother James mugs for the tapestry weaver.
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Apr 22, 2024 16:11
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Jim changes Dwight's prescription ever so slightly before his next pair of glasses are ordered. 3 months later Dwight mentions he has a slight headache from staring at his screen and gets up to look out the window and clear his head. Also because Jim hasn't stopped giggling for the last 3 months only interrupted by the occasional "Dwight, come here and look at this".
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Apr 22, 2024 16:39
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Jim, who has seemingly given up pranking as a result of his failing mental faculties, gets a job as a “greeter” at PA Pranksters. Dwight visits him every so often, and is unnerved at how far Jim has fallen. “Bee-buh wowee banana?” asks a bemused Jim, in oddly pathetic Minions speak. “Sure, buddy, sure,” says Dwight. He buys a few joke bananas (which look like penises and steal your pee) in order to make Jim feel useful. The prank is that this big box PA Pranksters only opened in Scranton after extracting massive tax concessions from the city, and plans to close the store as soon as they expire. Meanwhile Jim, despite working a full time job here, is paid so little that he qualifies for food stamps. This, Dwight’s purchase here is helping drive local stores out of business while simultaneously costing the county money for the parks budget.
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Apr 22, 2024 17:27
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Jim shifts Earth's orbit further from the sun, dramatically lowering the temperature of the planet. The Dunder-Mifflin office heat cannot overcome the negative-zero temperatures that line the building with 4-foot snow drifts, and everyone wears heavy parkas and shivers as they try to go about their day (except for Jim, who walks around nude except for board shorts with white zinc sunscreen on his nose, carrying around a surf board). This, perhaps surprisingly, is not some conservative troll reaction to Dwight's idle comment on the dangers of global warming. It is instead, yet again, another example of how careless and irresponsible Jim is with his powers.
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Apr 22, 2024 18:15
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Jim raises over $34,000 in the Basketball Charity Celebrity Jump-a-Thon by performing dozens of amazing jump shots. When he returns to the office, he discovers Dwight's hair has been growing at a rate of an inch a minute all day, encasing him in a twisted web of a dreadlock. As firemen try to pry Dwight out, a police detective questions his prime suspect, Jim. Unfortunately, it couldn't have been Jim. He was raising $34,000 at the Basketball Charity Celebrity Jump-a-Thon.
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Apr 23, 2024 00:05
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Jim spends over $34,000 on Minions merchandise. He can't pay his mortgage and loses the house so Jim, Pam, and the kids have to move in with Dwight. Jim bulldozes everything off of Dwight's mantelpiece to help make room for Jim's Minion collection.
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Apr 23, 2024 00:10
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Jim spends over 34,000 years building an immense labyrinth beneath the city of Scranton, complete with tricks, traps, and treasure. In the center, he places the recipe for The Perfect Beet Casserole under the protection of a displacer beast. However, when he goes to tell Dwight about it, he finds that humanity has been extinct for tens of thousands of years.
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Apr 23, 2024 00:26
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Dwight tells Jim that he, Dwight, is going to donate his mile-long hair to an orphanage for childhood cancer patients. Jim steals Dwight’s hair and sells it to a clown wig factory for $34,000.
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Apr 23, 2024 03:18
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Jim crashes a boat into Dwight's house. The insurance company refuses to believe the story of a boat crashing into Dwight's house. It doesn't matter, anyway, as they, like almost every other insurer in the state, refuse to insure Dwight's property any longer. Dwight makes up a list of materials he'll need to rebuild his home and finds every piece of lumber in stock at every supply store in a 500 mile radius is full of knots, warped, cracked, uneven, or defective in some other way. "What gives? Why can't I find any decent lumber?!" Dwight is frustrated with the selection and confronts a manager for answers. "Yeah, no one can get decent lumber right now. Some guy has been spending the last year buying up all the best pieces of lumber to build a boat, he just leaves the scrap pieces behind! This is as good as it gets, buddy..." Dwight drives home and passes Jim's house, and watches Jim use the most perfectly shaped pieces of pine as kindling for a barbecue. Jim inhales the fumes from the treated lumber and burns a steak to a crisp over the flames.
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Apr 23, 2024 05:05
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Dwight borrows a book from the local library, but discovers the final chapter of the book is missing. Upset, he returns the book the next day and finds a different one to read. Once again, the same thing happens. Dwight repeats this cycle, day after day, becoming more and more frustrated at the inability to finish the books and assumes that this is a Jim prank. One by one, Dwight randomly grabs books from the library and realizes they are all missing their final chapters. Confronting Jim about the vandalizing of art, Jim is confused. "Do I look like a man who'd ever pick up a book, even to tear out the pages?" Dwight looks at Jim with suspicion, but accepts the answer as sounding truthful. That night, Jim, angered by someone else in this town thinking they can pull pranks, decides to burn the entire library to the ground to teach them a lesson.
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Apr 23, 2024 05:23
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Jim produces a series of horror-themed YouTube videos so terrifying that they literally scare the poo poo out of Dwight. Dwight must once again postpone submitting a stool sample to Dr. Crocktologist.
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Apr 23, 2024 12:53
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Jim brings a large box with a question mark painted on it into the office, then sets it down. "Who dares to open the box of mystery? Who will risk it all to see what might be contained within? You, Kevin? Perhaps you, Phyllis? Or will it be Dwight, good ol' reliable Dwight?" "Dwight's out sick today," Phyllis responds without looking up from her desk. "Oh," Jim says, instantly deflated. "Do you think he'll be back tomorrow? This really can't wait much longer than that." "He's going to be out at least another 3 days," Angela adds, popping up from her desk. "He's on strict doctor's orders." "Huh," Jim says, scratching his temple. "Does anybody else want to open the box? Stanley? Whatcha up to over there, buddy?" Nobody responds and nobody opens the box. At the end of the day a despondent Jim silently drags it to the dumpster in the back of the office and tosses it in. Something orange has started to leak from one corner.
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Apr 23, 2024 13:00
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Jim tricks Dwight into putting his (Dwight's) hand into a box full of orange juice.
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Apr 23, 2024 13:53
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Jim starts a rumor that the local Chinese restaurant has been using geese instead of chicken, noting that there's been a decrease in the number of geese in Lake Scranton lately. This frustrates Dwight, as Jim starts make goose honking noises every time Dwight orders Chinese food for lunch. In a talking head segment, Jim reveals that he's actually been made Scranton's Head Goose Catcher and has been using the goose meat at Famous Original Jim's. "Honk honk!" Jim adds.
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Apr 23, 2024 14:00
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Dwight can’t seem to catch a break lately. Now that he’s taking care of Jim (Dwight and Jim have had to move in together into a high rise apartment), he hires a full-time British caretaker to assist. But worse than that, Michael Scott (who was previously turned into a Jack Russell terrier) is also sharing the space. And now his nebbish younger brother, a previously unknown man who looks exactly like Thomas Middleditch, visits unexpectedly all the time.
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Apr 23, 2024 14:25
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| # ? May 7, 2024 20:41 |
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Jim decides to “Talented Mr Ripley” Dwight.
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Apr 23, 2024 15:50
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