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Jim decides to "Daisy Ripley" Dwight. Jim shows up at Dwight's farm and tells an old lady his name is Jim... Jim Schrute. (Jim then commits numerous crimes with the Schrute name, forever staining the family reputation in Scranton.)
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Apr 23, 2024 17:07
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| # ? May 8, 2024 04:19 |
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Jim decides to “Jim Halpert” Dwight by using CRISPR technology to floppify Dwight’s DNA. Dwight awakens the next morning with an irresistible urge to prank…
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Apr 23, 2024 17:27
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Jim decides to “Jack Bauer” Dwight. He doesn’t use enhanced interrogation techniques, however; Jim just keeps calling Dwight up every hour and screaming about how he “doesn’t have time!” as he runs from prank to prank around the city of Scranton.
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Apr 23, 2024 18:16
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Jim takes a bunch of gymnastics classes in order to learn how to perform a perfect backflip. This takes several painful months, during which the strain on his relationship causes Pam to finally walk out of the house. "You love your stupid loving pranks more than us, Jim. You're going to a gymnastics class every night instead of spending it here. Philip is failing Geography, did you know that? I'll bet you didn't, but I'll bet you know how to do a loving backflip, huh?" Dumbfounded, Jim watches as his family walks out on him. Over the next 3 months he continues learning how to do a backflip while also dealing with the painful reality of divorce. Pam moves the kids to Harrisburg and Jim is forced to sell the Halpert House. He moves in to a studio apartment after having to withdraw a significant amount from his 401(k) to pay for moving expenses and a down payment on the apartment. Pam gets full custody of the kids and, in a heartbreaking moment in court, Philip says that he doesn't consider Jim a father at all. At work one day, a decrepit looking Jim stands up and taps Dwight on the shoulder. "Hey, uh, hey Dwight. I'll bet you $500 dollars I can do a backflip and you can't. Look." With an expressionless face, Jim does a backflip. Dwight then silently stands up and executes his own backflip. "Oh," Jim says, sadly. "I guess you CAN do a backflip. Cool. Hey, do you wanna get dinner tonight or anything? Maybe catch a movie or something? I got nothing on my schedule, man, I'm free." Dwight says he's already made plans with Angela for tonight, but maybe they'll try and figure out something later. "Cool, cool. Yeah, that's awesome. Cool." That evening, Jim sits in his car for 15 minutes of silence before driving home.
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Apr 23, 2024 18:58
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Jim sneaks into Dwight's house while Dwight is sleeping and trims Dwight's toenails too short so that Dwight develops terrible ingrown nails.
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Apr 24, 2024 03:23
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Jim parkours up the side of the building and while perched removes the cover to the air duct leading into the warehouse and shimmies in. Jim descends from the ceiling spiderman style and flips over landing without a sound, his prank serum infused eyes spotting the scanning lasers of the cameras. He, Jim, draws his wakizashi and begins slashing and stabbing at the pallet of paper Dwight is shipping out to a customer tomorrow. Pausing briefly between camera sweeps he clips the carabiner to his joke harness and pushes a button on his bracer. Jim is yanked ragdoll style up toward the ceiling and is sluiced through the vent depositing himself out of the air duct to the building exterior. In a spinning dive he lands and grabs the air duct cover and tosses it up which lands perfectly on his point of ingress. Jim does a couple of karate chops in the air as he walks out of the parking lot and down the street where his clownmobile is parked. He mounts his clownmobile and pulls out his phone to enable the electric drive and sails down the street, smirking.
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Apr 24, 2024 04:05
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Jim sneaks into Dwight's bedroom while Dwight is sleeping and pours growth formula on Dwight's toenails so that Dwight grows gross long curly toenails.
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Apr 24, 2024 13:00
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Dwight is taking a dump on the toilet when Jim bursts into his stall, slaps Dwight around, and tears off his mustard shirt as he runs away. “Aw c’mon, Jim! You’re goin’ crazy out there!”, whines Dwight (still on the toilet). Gatto Grigio fucked around with this message at 13:11 on Apr 24, 2024 |
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Apr 24, 2024 13:09
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Jim sneaks into Dwight’s bedroom while Dwight is sleeping, along with the camera crew, Brian the boom mike operator, and a lighting operator. Jim pulls out a tambourine and kazoo and begins loudly playing his rendition of “All Star.” He smirks as he looks into the camera and tells the crew, “Don’t worry. I slipped so much knockout serum into Ol’ Dwighty’s coffee today that he’s sleep through a bomb dropping on his house!” Jim suddenly gets a gleam in his eye, as though his own statement gave him an idea, and darts off out of the room. After an awkward moment, Brian turns toward the cameraman and ask, “Are we even allowed to be here? Should we, like, leave?”
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Apr 24, 2024 13:16
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Jim straps several Elon Musk designed rockets to the bottom of Dwight's chair. When Dwight returns from the restroom, Jim presses a big red button. "See ya, space cowboy!" Jim chuckles. However, as expected, nothing happens. Jim starts rapidly pressing the button, at which point there's a muffled explosion from the parking lot. "Hey, Jim, looks like your Cybertruck blew up," Kevin says, peering out the window. "Oh, Christ," Jim squeals as he runs into the parking lot. There's another muffled explosion and the sound of metal clattering on the parking lot. Jim screeches something as another muffled explosion happens and there's more metal crashing noises. Kevin walks over to the remote Jim was using. "There's no batteries in this. There aren't even wires. It's a solid metal box." Dwight looks out the window and sees Jim has ripped his shirt off and is fanning the giant fireball that used to be his Tesla Cybertruck. Dwight leans out the window and asks if Jim needs any help. "Go gently caress yourself, Dwight! You should be in outer space by now!" Dwight closes the window, sits down, and takes a bite of his beet sandwich. It's delicious.
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Apr 24, 2024 13:28
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Dwight receives a cold call at his desk from someone claiming to be "Dr. Deez" requesting 69,420 reams of heavy stock clown paper. Dwight looks over and sees Jim hiding behind the copier, mumbling into his cell phone. Dwight slams down the handset into the receiver (it is the year 2002 and Dwight uses a desk phone with wires and no touchscreen) and yells at Jim for such a blatant and childish prank. Jim mumbles "I'll call you back later" to his oncologist and looks at Dwight and mugs. Elsewhere, Dr. Deez the president of Barnum & Bailey Circus crosses "dunder mifflin" off the prospective office supplier list and proceeds to dial staples.
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Apr 24, 2024 14:33
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Oncologist Dr Roncologist stares numbly at his phone. He didn’t get a chance to tell Jim that he, Jim, has cancer of the funny bone and has only 69 days left to live.
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Apr 24, 2024 14:59
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Jim sneaks into Dwight's bedroom while Dwight is sleeping and starts to suck Dwight's toes, slobbering noisily. Dwight lies paralysed and unable to interfere because Jim injected him, Dwight, with something.
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Apr 24, 2024 15:06
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Oncologist Dr Roncologist looks with marvel at Jim Halpert, the 60-pound man who should, by all rights, be dead of late stage clown disease by now. “My God, Jim. You’ve lost so much weight, and your brain function is severely impaired. How are you even standing? You shouldn’t be working six jobs; isn’t there anyone who can take care of you?” Jim unleashes a wracking cough, then responds, “No, doc. My wife left me six months ago, and my parents are dead. I keep myself going, for one reason. I’m just trying to make Dwight laugh. If one of my pranks can bring some joy into his dull, dreary life, and convince him that life is meant to be enjoyed, then I will die happy.” The doctor holds back tears at Jim’s bravery.
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Apr 24, 2024 16:02
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Jim teleports Dwight's dick to the beach that makes you old for an hour
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Apr 24, 2024 21:10
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Jim teleports Dwight's dick into most inaccessible place Jim can think of: Pam's vagina. Nine months later Pam gives birth to triplets who for some reason are much more likable and less floppy than their older siblings. Jim still thinks this is a fine prank and mugs the camera. Erasable Penis fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Apr 24, 2024 |
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Apr 24, 2024 21:29
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Jim teleports Dwight to the Battle of the Somme for three gut wrenching weeks, then back to the time and place where he left (the middle of a sales meeting).
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Apr 24, 2024 21:38
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Jim teleports behind Dwight and stabs him in the back with a surprise prank. “Nothing personnel, kid.”
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Apr 25, 2024 07:41
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The Awesomesaurus posted:Jim teleports behind Dwight and stabs him in the back with a surprise prank. “Nothing personnel, kid.” “It’s “nothing personal”, you idiot.”, groans an injured Dwight. “Personnel” refers to the established staff of an institution, whereas-“, he manages to croak before losing consciousness. Jim mugs the camera and yells “Nerd alert!”
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Apr 25, 2024 09:48
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jim doesn't actually get the reference either; it's just coincidence
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Apr 25, 2024 11:29
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Jim makes a living on an overrated sitcom then goes on to cosplay a marine badass
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Apr 25, 2024 11:39
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Jim dresses as Santa to sneak into Dwight's house and steal his fruity pebbles. Dwight catches him and gets angry, and starts to lecture him. But the real Santa shows up and is on Jim's side for some reason and tells Dwight he has to share.
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Apr 25, 2024 11:58
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Jim replaces the floor at Dunder Mifflin with a giant treadmill that moves imperceptibly slow. Dwight senses something is up but he's not sure until, after 3 days, he notices everything has moved 1 millimeter to the left. Jim scoffs at this. "Sounds like you have OCD or something, Dwight. 1 millimeter? Who could even notice that?" Jim then turns the treadmill up to full speed and smashes everything into the wall.
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Apr 25, 2024 13:57
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Dwight starts waking up with an extremely dry mouth every morning and worries that he might not be hydrating enough during the day. He starts upping his intake of water throughout the day, causing him to go to the bathroom more often. Unfortunately, this also means his computer is left unguarded more often, allowing Jim to install even more spyware and adware than he already has. In reality, Jim is sneaking into Dwight's bedroom every night with a sponge that he puts in Dwight's open mouth in order to soak up all the saliva.
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Apr 25, 2024 16:17
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it's also more piss for jim to steal...
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Apr 25, 2024 16:19
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Jim greedily rubs his hands together with an evil smile as he counts his endless jars…
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Apr 25, 2024 16:23
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Jim asks Dwight if maybe he, Dwight, could just give Jim his, Dwight’s, piss so that Jim wouldn’t have to go through so much trouble to steal it. Dwight replies, “I don’t think so, Jim.” Shortly thereafter, Dwight is sued by Richard Karn for copyright infringement.
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Apr 25, 2024 16:28
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Jim asks the production crew if they can credit him (Jim) as "Urine Wrangler" in the credits for the documentary but this request is denied.
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Apr 25, 2024 16:31
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Jim traps Dwight's consciousness inside the body of the little clockwork man who gets bonked on the head every hour in a novelty cuckoo clock. Jim traps his own consciousness in the body of the little man who does the bonking. Jim's painted wooden face mugs for the camera every hour on the hour as he bonks Dwight with a mallet.
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Apr 25, 2024 17:54
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It's an early morning in the office and only Michael, Dwight, Jim, and Pam have arrived. Suddenly the building begins to violently shake, the windows fill with an eerie orange light, and the temperature inside the building rises to a sweltering heat. All of this ends in a moment, however, as Michael rushes out of his office wondering what the hell just happened. "Something... FANTASTIC!" Jim says with a smile. As if on cue, the 4 members of the office begin to undergo shocking physical changes. Pam slowly turns transparent and then completely disappears. Michael bursts into flames. Dwight's skin becomes rock-like and invulnerable. And Jim, a grin on his face, stretches his arm forward. Rather unexpectedly, however, nothing happens. In fact, Jim lets out an audible grunt of effort before his arms makes a weird popping noise. "I said, something... FANTASTIC! Something MISTER FANASTIC!" Jim tries to stretch his neck this time but nothing happens and he actually pulls a muscle this time, grimacing as a sharp bolt of pain rockets up his neck. Over the next few weeks Michael, Pam, and Dwight become known as the Triumphant Trio, Scranton's premiere superhero team. Between Michael's new flame powers and ability to fly, Pam's force field projections and invisibility, and Dwight's super strength and invulnerability the group manages to help thousands of people and prevent horrible natural disasters and crimes. Jim becomes obsessed with stretching, saying that it "only makes sense" that he also got Fantastic Four-based powers. At one point he oddly says that he "already played that guy in that movie", then catches himself and asks the documentary crew not to air that footage. In a talking head segment Kevin reveals that he was in the bathroom during the incident that gave the office powers but was too embarrassed to admit it. He then stretches his arm out to grab a candy bar from inside the vending machine.
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Apr 25, 2024 18:36
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Jim “bonks” Angela, each of them yelling out “Cuckoo!!” each time they achieve climax. Dwight and Pam sit in leather recliners in the room next door, each holding paper copies of the New York Times, politely ignoring the sounds Dwight is for some reason wearing lederhosen. Pam’s paper is visibly upside down as she pretends to read, sipping from a hot cup of marinara sauce.
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Apr 25, 2024 18:55
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Jim takes a page out of the mid 2000s by "glomping" Dwight - violently leaping on him and hugging him with no warning.
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Apr 25, 2024 19:02
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After weeks of enjoying super strength and invulnerability, Dwight's skin begins to develop crusty orange patches. He visits his dermatologist (Dr. Skin) who reassures Dwight the scabs are nothing more than a shingles outbreak, and he prescribed Dwight a prescription of rest, relaxation, and a topical steroid cream. The next day the crusty orange scabs appear to have spread. They're getting dangerously close to his genitals. Dwight nervously chuckles and generously applies the cream.
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Apr 25, 2024 19:31
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Jim leaves Angela inside the break room refrigerator for Dwight to discover. (Angela is not amused.)
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Apr 25, 2024 19:45
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As his final prank, Jim fakes his own death and moves to Oregon to become a lumberjack.
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Apr 25, 2024 19:51
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Lumberjack Jim (Lumberjim, if you will) only sends the worst, most rotted and knot-riddled trees to the paper mill that supplies Dunder-Mifflin. Dunder-Mifflin quickly earns a reputation as the worst paper supply company in Scranton, maybe in all of Pennsylvania and Dwight, as the face of the sales department, becomes derided as a scam artist and huckster. Somehow all the extremely poor quality paper shows up with a watermark that looks like Jim's mugging face.
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Apr 25, 2024 20:24
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Jim’s estranged son Philip from his previous life arrives unannounced with mysterious motives. A string of pranking incidents causes Jim to fear that the "Dark Prankster" within him, and potentially within his son, will reveal itself.
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Apr 25, 2024 20:31
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Dwight contracts clown malaria from all the Jimsquitos spawning in the bog Jim dug behind Schrute Farms.
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Apr 25, 2024 21:11
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Jim takes a page out of the mid 2000s by "squee"-ing at Dwight, causing Dwight to experience near-fatal levels of cringe.
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Apr 26, 2024 13:26
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| # ? May 8, 2024 04:19 |
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Jim starts calling himself the "Jesus of Pranking" and shows up to work dressed in the stereotypical garb. "Does this bother you, my son?" Jim says with a smug smile. "Seeing your messiah of pranks in his earthly form?" Dwight tells Jim he doesn't have time for this, it's Friday and he just wants to get done with his work and head home. Jim then turns all of the water in Dwight's body into wine, killing him instantly.
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Apr 26, 2024 15:00
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