|
On a surprisingly dark episode of the animated series The Office Babies, Li’l Jim convinces the Babysitter that Li’l Dwight ran away to try to find where Donkey Kong lives. Panicked, the Babysitter gathers up the Office Babies and begins driving around town looking for Li’l Dwight. Meanwhile, Li’l Dwight is locked in the toy box and the air is beginning to run out…
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2024 15:21
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 05:37 |
|
|
Jim, floppily blacked out on day six of a clown gas bender, hides the corpse of Soleil Moon Frye in Dwight’s fully operational antique 1940’s refrigerator in an apparent reference to a television show Dwight has never seen. Dwight calls the police. “It happened again. No, it’s Soleil Moon Frye this time, in the fridge. It was Gary Coleman last time. Yeah I have no idea what he’s thinking with this one, but that giant nitrous tank he’s constantly huffing off of can’t be doing his mental health any favors”.
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2024 16:30
|
|
|
Jim pays Gary Coleman to spring out from under Dwight's desk and bite Dwight on the penis.
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2024 16:32
|
|
|
Taffy Jr. posted:Jim pays Gary Coleman to spring out from under Dwight's desk and syphon out all the piss from the penis.
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2024 19:59
|
|
|
Jim sacrifices the soul of his firstborn and secondborn for good measure to Satan in exchange for unlimited pranking power. Soon Dwight finds his stapler encased in jello.
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2024 21:21
|
|
|
Things are getting frisky in the bedroom at Schrute Farms. "Give me the big D, Big D," says Angela flirtatiously from the bed. Dwight eagerly removes his underwear, only to find his dick and balls encased in Jello.
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2024 21:26
|
|
|
Jim traps Dwight in a neverending Hell of his design by convincing him to both A) play Monopoly and B) agree to a house rule where extra money is placed on the “Free Parking” space.
Gatto Grigio fucked around with this message at 18:11 on Apr 28, 2024 |
|
#
?
Apr 28, 2024 12:22
|
|
|
Jim suggest that the whole office go to a new “quirky and fun” restaurant for lunch. He even offers to pay! Unfortunately it’s one of those restaurants where they insult you, and Jim has tipped off the waiters that “everybody here is really into edgy humor, like Dane Cook”. When Dwight complains about the waiter calling him a “greasy German bastard who would have been sailing a U-boat up Lady Liberty’s rear end if the Kaiser asked him to”, Jim says that he’s paying for the meal so everybody should just shut the gently caress up and enjoy it. That same waiter then eyes up Jim. “Thanks, pal. Say, you’re not so bad for a guy stuck in a dead end job who uses pranks to pretend you’re better than everyone else around you. All of your dreams, dead, you sit at the same desk you’ve been at for years and day to yourself ‘this year for sure, I’ll start up that sports marketing company!’ But it never happens, does it? Nah, and it never will. Then let’s look at your marriage. You stole her away from her fiancé and, deep down, you’re terrified she’s going to leave you for another guy, right? After all, it happened once! Maybe you’re more like Roy than you think? Maybe Pam’s already bored of you and flirting with a new guy, and he can’t wait for you to slip up enough to make a move. Sound about right, big guy?” As the waiter walks off, Jim is dumbfounded. He turns to Creed and asks if he heard all that. “Sorry, Tim, I’m a little busy with these Wing a Ding Boneless Wings, I didn’t hear a thing.” A different waiter brings them their check and Jim apologizes for ever bringing them there. In a talking head segment Kevin says he’s grateful Jim did it, because it was the wake-up call he needed to realize his weight was becoming a problem.
|
|
#
?
Apr 28, 2024 13:38
|
|
|
Jim finds it more difficult to prank the lower his credibility is from people being tied of his poo poo, but he can still get a similar feeling from strangling people.
|
|
#
?
Apr 28, 2024 13:44
|
|
|
Jim starts experimenting with strangling himself (Jim)
|
|
#
?
Apr 28, 2024 13:49
|
|
|
Jim crawls into Dwight's bedroom upside down on the ceiling and then turns his head around directly above Dwight.
|
|
#
?
Apr 28, 2024 14:36
|
|
|
Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:Jim starts experimenting with strangling himself (Dwight)
|
|
#
?
Apr 28, 2024 18:18
|
|
|
Dwight notices that Jim has been googling “David Carradine choke death but not dying? How do I do it?” constantly and grows concerned that Jim might be experimenting beyond the realms of what he can handle. Also, Dwight notices this because Jim started projecting his computer screen onto Dwight’s home TV. Originally it was to prank Dwight by playing shock videos, but eventually forgot about the whole thing. Dwight voices his concern to Jim one day and Jim appears to take it to heart. That night, however, Dwight is trying to watch TV when Jim’s computer pops up again. This time, he googles “coworker annoying how to choke death him look like accident (David Carradine)”. Concerned, Dwight calls the police. As he does, Jim googles “rule 34 Minions”, unaware that his dark and twisted mind is open to the public.
|
|
#
?
Apr 28, 2024 23:58
|
|
|
Jim buys 500 fleas and 500 dogs and 500 cats and 500 birds and 500 Worms and 500 corpses. Using Dwight's credit card
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 00:37
|
|
|
At an office meal at Benihana, Jim asks Dwight how to drain the blood out of a goose. As Dwight starts to answer, Jim grabs the back of his head and smashes it down against the table, cracking it like an egg. He pours the glowing purple viscous jelly out onto the stir fry stove and begins mixing it with a spare spatula. Dwight’s clearly inhuman physiology is visible for all to see as his corpse falls to the ground. Jim is seemingly oblivious to this, as he stirs the eerily glowing eldritch ichor around on the heating surface. It eventually congeals into a solid substance, which Jim slurps down, muttering something about “gaining forbidden knowledge.” Jim leaves and nobody ever speaks of this again. Dwight soon is forgotten and Jim acts exactly the same as before, except for eating beets in his lunch slightly more often than usual.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 00:42
|
|
|
Jim turn him into egg
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 01:11
|
|
|
Jim replaces all the eggs in Dwight's refrigerator with Leggs pantyhose eggs. When Dwight cracks the eggs over the griddle to make breakfast, the stench and smoke of burning nylon quickly fills the house.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 01:14
|
|
|
Pam confronts Jim about $985 worth of eBay expenditures for a dozen separate purchases of vintage 1990 L'eggs Eggs.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 01:17
|
|
|
Jim comes into the office dressed as Murphy Brown, complete with Leggs pantyhose, and causes an awkward moment when the vice president specifically cites Jim as an example of modern culture’s immorality. The effect is lessened when the politico is embarrassed by misspelling the word “eggs.” (This prank takes place in the year 1991).
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 02:07
|
|
|
Kevin finds Jim’s pantyhose-clad legs strangely attractive and asks Jim if he can touch them. Jim pops a leg up on Dwight’s desk and Kevin runs his hand up and down, giggling the whole while. Dwight eyes are fixed solidly on the sales report on his computer monitor while inside he, Dwight, wishes he were dead.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 02:27
|
|
|
Jim sets up a Big Green Egg bbq in the break room and announces the brisket should be done by the end of the day. Jim fans away the smoke alarm repeatedly throughout the day while the rest of the staff's mouths water and sniff and debate what condiments they should have ready. Kevin is sent to the store to pick up Sweet Baby Ray's and wasabi and some waffle cones. As the lunch hour ends, Jim announces it will be another few hours, but done before everyone leaves. With a load groan from Meredith, everyone tries to go back to work. At 5PM Jim checks on the cook and rushes back into the office announcing that it is ready, everyone gather in the conference room. Wearing an apron, Jim walks in with a large silver serving tray and removes the dome and everyone stares at a hard orangish jello brick with grill marks on it. Jim smirking says this is from when I made Dwight drink that bottle of bbq sauce! Dwight anticipating this, reaches to his belt to grab his jello dissolving spray. As Dwight touches the canister on his belt it explodes in his hand leaving two twisted fingers and his thumb on his left hand. Jim mugs at the camera and asks Dwight if he wants the end piece?
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 03:55
|
|
|
Jim arrives at work dressed in a suit of armor made out of cardboard, accompanied by a regal fanfare playing from his phone. He produces a sword made out of cardboard and covered in tinfoil, then points it at Dwight. “Sir Dwight of Schrute, inquire into thine own heart and see if thou can discover the courage necessary to face me on the battlefield. For this, good sir, shall be a battle to the death.” Dwight looks sadly at Jim and tells him that today’s Monday the 29th. Charles Miner is coming today. “Oh, gently caress, that’s today? Jesus,” Jim says as he begins to rip off the cardboard armor. “Pam, seriously? You didn’t remember either?” Pam shrugs at her desk. Jim has now removed the cardboard armor, revealing that he’s wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a tank top underneath. Making matters worse, it’s a custom tank top Jim had made for the prank that says “You just lost the game”. “Okay, does somebody have a spare shirt I can wear? I think I can just sit at my desk all day and he won’t notice the pants, but I need a shirt. Somebody? Ryan, I know you used to keep a spare for when you went to the gym!” Nobody responds and Jim is left in silence. Dwight shrugs and says he only has the shirt he’s wearing. “gently caress! Okay, quick, if he gets here before I’m back, just cover, okay?” Jim runs off and, as if on cue, Charles Miner appears. He goes through pleasantries around the office, then looks directly at Jim’s empty desk. “Is Jim on vacation? That must be nice, getting a little vacation from your vacation.” “I’m right here, sir!” Jim runs out of the bathroom, wearing a mishmash of papers that have been taped together and cover his body. There was an attempt made to coordinate them to look like a shirt and pants, but the attempt failed miserably. Charles Miner looks at Jim, then looks at the ceiling, then looks back at Jim. “Do I need to ask if you have the rundown, Jim?” “The, uh, the r-rundown? You mean you didn’t get it? I, uh, I emailed it back in 2020, I guess that whole Covid thing s-slowed it down? Maybe? Jeez, I dunno if I even have the f-file now! Dang. Gosh dang it! Well, maybe open a ticket with IT?” “You emailed it to me in 2020? What day?” “I-I-I gotta think…. Uh….. definitely August-ish? Maybe. I mean that whole year is such a blur, right? I went to Disney 4 times! No crowds at all, it was great!” “I lost one of my best friends in the world, Jim. He was a nurse and devoted his life to helping others. He caught Covid and died a few weeks later. Nobody could see him, we couldn’t have a funeral for him, and I still struggle with that every day of my life.” Jim awkwardly tugs on the collar of his paper “shirt”, causing the whole thing to collapse. He’s left wearing only basketball shorts and a tank top. “Well, I’ll start working on recreating that rundown for you, sir.”
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 11:15
|
|
|
jim starts slinking around the office in a leotard
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 13:48
|
|
|
Jim, referring to himself as the “Tupac of Pranks,” begins throwing raw eggs at his coworkers out of a restaurant-sized pallet. They start to run, at first to get away from the gross but seemingly harmless prank, but their movements become more desperate after Meredith is hit and the egg shatters, covering her with glowing purple goo inside. The purple gel, as if with its own malignant intelligence, starts to grow and crawl around her head, silencing her shrieking until she falls blind and motionless to the ground. The entire time, Jim is doing “The Jim Rap,” and incredibly sophomoric turn of rhyme more apt to be heard a “cool” English teacher trying to introduce kids to Shakespeare. “Yo, I’m Jim Halpert and I’m here to say, the Egg God Xyyylep will return today!” David Wallace, who had come down to meet with Michael about the branch’s declining sales, watches the event with growing confusion from the conference room. As he hurriedly collects his gear, he turns to Pam and asks that she destroy the notes of his visit today. “Just, uh, keep doing what you’re doing, Michael.” As he leaves the building, David pulls out his cell phone and calls the shadowy defense contractor he works for. “Project Juliet Hotel is nearly complete. Begin preparing for extraction.”
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 14:01
|
|
|
Jim nicks an artery while inserting a catheter to steal Dwight’s piss and Dwight bleeds out internally, contaminating the piss.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 15:11
|
|
|
Dwight gets pursued around the office by a baby clown. Baby clowns are only one block tall and move faster than adult clowns so Dwight is in a real pickle.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 16:15
|
|
|
Jim prepares a giant vat of water, vinegar, salt, and various seasonings including dill, garlic, and peppercorns and then throws Dwight inside. As Dwight’s struggles begin to weaken, Jim says, “Wow Dwight! I’ve heard of being in a real pickle but this is ridiculous!”
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 16:18
|
|
|
Jim turns himself into a pickle. He's Pickle Jiiiiiiim!!!! Dwight has to put up with people shrieking Jim's catchphrase for weeks.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 16:35
|
|
|
The Tiny Jims are celebrating "Tiny Day", a day off from work that they won thanks to the union Dwight assisted in creating. As such, Dwight and Angela are guests of honor at the huge picnic being thrown. After work, Dwight decides to show up, although Angela voices her concern. "Half the time, those weird little guys are pranking you. I just don't understand!" Dwight says that's okay, this can be one of those things that's just about him. He shows up at the park pavilion and is greeted with raucous cheers. "Somebody get this son of a bitch something to drink!" laughs the leader of United Tiny Jims, leading Dwight over to the food tables. "Dwight, we're so happy you could make it this year! One of the Jims has started a bakery and wants to show off this cake he's made in your image." Dwight takes a look at the cake. It kind of looks like him, but he supposes it's pretty impressive given how Tiny the baker is. He thanks everyone for this and then jokes that they need to save "a head piece" for him to eat later. One of the Tiny Jims hands him a tiny margarita and Dwight happily takes a sip. He asks how contract negotiations are going with Jim. "Oh, pretty good, pretty good. We're hoping for a pretty big cost of living increase this year, and we think we can get another week of vacation for the most senior Tiny Jims. No more pranks on Ramadan, either, at least for those Jims who practice Islam, which is more than you'd think. Listen, Dwight, I just want to personally thank you for all of this. I know sometimes business makes our relationship... complex. But all of us would be working like dogs without you." Dwight shakes the Tiny Jim's hand and says it's no problem, but he sure would love something to eat. Dwight is led over to the Tiny buffet spread and fixes himself a plate. As he eats, a drunken Tiny Jim leans over. "You know shomething, Dwight? That Jim guy.... he'sh a real piecesh of poo poo! Son of a bisch told me I was schlacking on getting him a.... a RUNDOWN! Jeshush, what a loving joke. Didsh you know he schleeps in a drat raschecar bed?" Dwight asks if this Tiny Jim has a Tiny Designated Driver to get him home, then wraps up his meal. As Dwight is leaving, the head Tiny Jim motions him over towards a wooded area. Sitting there is a wooden effigy of Jim. "We're going to burn it tonight, Dwight. Would you like to watch?" Feeling his stomach drop a bit, Dwight says he'd love to but he needs to get home to Angela. He notices that the Tiny Jim's have a strange, manic energy about them now and far-off looks in their glazed eyes. "Sure, sure," replies the head Tiny Jim. "It's going to be beautiful, though, Dwight. And it's just the start. Keep your eyes open, you're really going to see sparks flying soon." Dwight slowly makes his way back to his car. The drunken Tiny Jim waves and smiles and Dwight returns the greeting. As he reaches the car, he sees a Tiny Jim arriving with a tank of propane. "Aww man, Dwight, you're gonna miss the bonfire? Well, that's okay, another one's coming soon enough." As Dwight drives away he feels the Tiny picnic food rolling in his stomach. He pulls over and vomits it all up.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 17:15
|
|
|
After a skipped breakfast and a grueling morning of sales calls, Dwight is famished. Against his better judgement, Dwight calls Jim and asks him to pick him (Dwight) up a cheesesteak. Jim returns to the office and plops a plastic bag onto Dwight's desk. Dwight is so hungry that he devours its contents without even looking. Jim begins to smirk and give Dwight a slow clap. "Congratulations Balloon Boy, you're all finished. But what you didn't notice was that I actually got you a cheeseCAKE!" Dwight looks down in horror to discover he has eaten an entire New York Cheesecake in under a minute. Immediately, he lapses into a diabetic coma and knocks his head on the corner of the desk on his way to the floor. Jim smirks again, logs Dwight's calories into his weight watchers account, and chides him for hours about bad cheesecake is for you.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 19:02
|
|
|
Jim becomes an Instagram influencer and spends his entire day telling anyone who will listen about how “soyfaced fat Dwights”, which is Jim’s term for liberal, non-masculine men, “who spend their days encouraging dependence on handouts and raising other men’s children,” (which appears to be veiled references to Dwight’s homeless shelter advocacy, and the time he picked up Phillip and Cici from soccer practice after Jim forgot about them during a Famous Jim’s Pizza prank), which Jim claims is from “eating cheesecake all day, instead of delicious raw eggs.” As if to prove a point, Jim cracks open several raw eggs into a glass and drinks them down raw. Weirdly, the inside of the eggs are glowing purple goo, but Jim appears not to notice. Pam confronts Jim later that month about his $10,000 steroid bill.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2024 19:20
|
|
|
Instead of smirking, Jim begins to say "Shmeeeerk" slowly and in a weird voice out of the corner of his mouth.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2024 00:27
|
|
|
jim gets into the office ventilation system and rattles around disconcertingly
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2024 10:43
|
|
|
Dwight is unable to avoid a collision because one of Jim's Funko-Pop Minions is lodged under Dwight's brake pedal.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2024 13:15
|
|
|
Jim brings a basketball into work and tells Dwight if he (Dwight) can dribble it 10 times then he (Jim) will donate $1000 to a charity of his (Dwight's) choice. "What do you have to lose, Balloon Boy? I even made sure to clarify all of the pronouns in that sentence so there are no shenanigans afoot!" Dwight agrees to this and dribbles the basketball. As soon as he hits 9 dribbles, Jim kicks the ball away and begins laughing like a lunatic. "Oldest trick in the book, pal! Maybe next time, eh?" As an annoyed Dwight returns to his desk, he notices a Tiny Jim peering in from the air vent. When he makes eye contact, the Tiny Jim skitters away. Dwight shudders for a second, then returns to work. Jim, who didn't see any of this, continues mugging for the camera.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2024 13:17
|
|
|
Jim, who had become an instagram influencer demonstrating his freakishly emaciated body and claiming that it’s the result of his diet consisting solely of raw eggs, has hundreds of thousands of followers among young disaffected teenage boys. Dwight is growing increasingly concerned about the outsized amount most Jim has in these men, including his dangerous dieting advice (which he (Dwight) notes that Jim himself doesn’t follow when the cameras aren’t rolling), but keeps quiet for now. Things come to a head when reports grow of the dangerous outbreak of egg contamination across the country: eggs with glowing purple goo insides. Nobody knows what’s causing this, but perhaps some strange new bacteria is contaminating the food, and scientists warn people to thoroughly cool their eggs prior to eating. Jim’s advice turns dogmatic, and he fervently urges his followers “not to cook eggs, like that weakling Fauchi demands.” Dwight, who has been watching Jim film the latest video (Jim does this from the supply closet, and Dwight has been waiting five minutes to grab some pens), asks “Who’s Fauchi?” (Note: this prank takes place in 2018).
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2024 13:28
|
|
|
Jim asks Dwight if he wants a “Fauci Ouchie”. Dwight replies that he’s already been vaccinated, thank you. Jim, not one to take “no” for an answer, stabs Dwight repeatedly with a dirty needle.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2024 13:36
|
|
|
Driving home from work, Dwight notices a series of orange cones have blocked off his normal pathway. As he takes an alternate path home, he notices even more cones. Dwight ends up detouring nearly 5 miles out of his way and eventually passes a huge billboard. On it, Jim's mugging face and the phrase "GOTCHA, DWIGHT! Your excess driving just added to your carbon footprint. The Earth is WORSE OFF because of you!". Dwight frowns, realizing that Jim must have set up this unscheduled detour. As he turns around, he sees a Tiny van of Tiny Jims drive past. The driver waves politely at Dwight and he returns it, but the passenger looks oddly focused. As the van passes by, Dwight notices several Tiny bags of fertilizer in the back. He asks Angela if that's odd. "Are you asking me if there's anything odd about a bunch of tiny clones of our coworker driving a little van around town with some fertilizer in the back? No, D, there's nothing odd at all about that." Dwight shifts in his seat, unsure if Angela's being sarcastic or if she's just irritated that he was fooled by a pretty basic prank.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2024 14:34
|
|
|
Normal Jim from the television show replaces the business cards on Dwights desk that say "Dwight Schrute - Assistant to the Manager" with cards that say "Dwiht Shrute - Asistant o the Manger"
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2024 14:46
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 12, 2024 05:37 |
|
|
Jim asks Dwight if he’s “been vaxxed yet?” Because this is the year 2008, and vaccination has not become a contentious component of the culture war yet, Dwight assumes that Jim is referring to the flu vaccine. “No,” he replies, “I don’t think that comes out until later in the year, right?” Jim, confused, argues that “the jab has been around for years, and killing more people than the disease.” Dwight says he doesn’t have time for whatever nonsense Jim is trying to pull, and starts to walk away. Scared and bewildered, Jim mutters sullenly that Dwight ought to “try that in a small town.” Dwight pauses, and remarks that he would hardly call Scranton, PA, with a population of seventy-five thousand citizens, a “small town,” and leaves Jim alone in the break room. The awful truth is that drinking the glowing purple goo has granted Jim omniscience over the past, present, and future; but his addled brain can only comprehend these marvelous insights through Jim’s limited awareness of the world, which consists mainly of low-brow memes, right-wing talking points, and popular social media trends, making every moment of his life a waking nightmare; as his life is now a confusing phantasmagoria of non-temporal experiences to which can barely relate.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2024 15:24
|
|