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Jim tells everyone that he just caught Dwight jacking off in the bathroom, and the only way for Dwight to save his job is to admit that he got his dick mangled when it was bitten by one of his goats last week and he is thus incapable of getting an erection. Cut to the interview room where Jim smugly admits he already knew this because the goat who bit Dwight's dick was Jim in disguise.
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Mar 18, 2019 12:26
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 01:03 |
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Jim just straight up full force kicks Dwight in the nards.
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Mar 18, 2019 13:41
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Jim asks if Dwight would like a tasty hot beverage, which Dwight graciously accepts. It is hot chocolate, high velocity.
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Mar 18, 2019 14:06
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One day Jim disappears, and not even Pam knows where he went or why he left. Jim is not seen or heard from for over 30 years, until Dwight finds a filthy and unkempt Jim begging for change on the street. Dwight is overcome with emotion that his long lost friend has finally been found, and tries to convince Jim to reunite with Pam and his children. Jim then stabs Dwight with a rusty knife, and steals his wallet to buy more opioids.
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Mar 18, 2019 14:12
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Jim injects Dwight with a powerful paralytic agent, leaving him in a deathlike state while remaining fully aware of his surroundings. Jim proceeds to tell his friends and loved ones that Dwight died of autoerotic asphyxiation, and stages a touching funeral and memorial for the late Dwight, all while Dwight is powerless and terrified. Two days later Jim digs up Dwight's casket to tell him it was just a prank, only to find Dwight dead from a heart attack induced by the terror of being buried alive.
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Mar 18, 2019 14:22
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Jim offers Dwight a stick of gum, but it's garlic flavored.
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Mar 18, 2019 14:25
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Well after his retirement Dwight gifts his adult children 23&Me kits. His family is torn apart when the results come in and it is revealed Jim is the father of all 15 of Dwight's children.
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Mar 18, 2019 14:52
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Jim visits Dwight just before Dwight dies and reveals that he intercepted the 23&E results and gave his children fake results as a prank. Dwight's family was destroyed for nothing, except for a few seconds of amusement for Jim.
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Mar 18, 2019 15:02
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Jim slowly draws the masamune blade from it's sheath. "You know, Dwight," he said with a bitter cold in his voice, "that once my sword has been drawn it cannot be sheathed again until it has tasted blood." "False," Dwight scoffed. "You're thinking of the evil katana Juuchi Yosamu forged by the smith Sengo Muramasa, while that is clearly the Yawarakai-Te." Dwight's smug expression was frozen on his face forever, as the top third of his head slowly slid off and fell to the ground. "Yare yare daze".
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Mar 18, 2019 16:31
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Jim fucks Angela knowing that Dwight will walk in on them and see Jim pleasuring her in ways Dwight never has. When Dwight walks in rather than looking horrified he immediately drops trou and starts jerking it. Jim looks to the camera confused, cut to an interview of a nude Dwight and Angela who reveal both of them have massive cuckold fetishes.
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Mar 18, 2019 18:43
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Jim jerks off Dwight to completion
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Mar 19, 2019 00:25
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Jim licks Dwight's face and proclaims "This is the taste of a liar!'
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Mar 19, 2019 12:22
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Dwight walks into the employee bathroom to find Jim whispering "gently caress you" into a broken mirror. Jim's hand is bleeding and he is clearly weeping. "Nice try, Jim, but not this time!" Dwight says smugly as he turns around and leaves to go take an absolutely massive beet-poo poo in the warehouse bathroom. Cut to interview Jim: "I knew the crying was too much. That's what gave it away."
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Mar 19, 2019 12:51
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Jim just straight up fucks a beet
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Mar 19, 2019 15:32
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FilthyImp posted:(Paper 2.0 can be regular cardstock, paper with a ram module clipped to it, or just have digital looking lines etched in pencil) Paper 2.0 is just paper that Jim smeared his own poo poo on the margins. Dwight leaves the factory screaming "It's poo poo! Paper 2.0 is shiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!" Then Dwight gets shot 97 times by three police officers. (The total number of rounds fired was 982 over 2 minutes) Who What Now fucked around with this message at 15:46 on Mar 19, 2019 |
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Mar 19, 2019 15:41
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Dwight eats Michael's poo poo out of a bowl. This isn't a prank, Dwight is just a fascist that literally loves everything that his superiors produce.
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Mar 19, 2019 15:48
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FilthyImp posted:Jim invites Dwight over for a play date with their kids. Arby's doesn't come in a box!!!
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Mar 19, 2019 22:46
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Jim calls Dwight a human being over and over again until Dwight starts to cry. This is not a prank.
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Mar 20, 2019 00:37
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Jim goes to jail for anti-gay hate crimes.
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Mar 20, 2019 00:37
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Bogus Adventure posted:Jim pulls an "OldBoy" on Dwight He fights two dozen Dwights with a hammer in a long hallway?
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Mar 20, 2019 03:43
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Jim hits Dwight in the back with a folding chair.
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Mar 20, 2019 13:51
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Dwight wakes up in a daze, his head cloudy and unfocused. As he slowly regains his senses he first notices a dull, throbbing ache around his entire body. Next, a heavy weight on his shoulders. Finally, his vision clears. But what he sees makes no sense. Dwight appears to be sitting in the Dunder-Mifflin Scranton office, but it is filthy and dilapidated, obviously abandoned for years, if not decades. His desk was cracked and broken, and disturbingly his mouse was covered in upright razor blades and every key of his keyboard had a thumb tack glued to it. Dwight brings his hands up to his face, but they touch something cold, rough, and metallic. It is a rusty bear trap, tightly strapped to his head and shoulders. "Dwight Schrute" booms a deep and distorted voice from a crackling PA speaker. "You have dedicated your life to your job. It is much an addiction as it is an employment. You have squandered your potential here, sacrificed time and relationships all in the name of chasing sales. Meaningless. Worthless. But I am a man who believes... In second chances." "Jim?!" Dwight screams, his voice shaking in terror, "Jim?! I- I know it's you, this isn't funny!" Dwight's computer monitor flashes to life, and beneath the dust and grime Dwight can see a blurry face. No, not a face he realizes as he peers closer. It is a puppet, it's wooden head carved into a broken and twisted exaggeration of Jim Halpert's. "Dwight Schrute. Would you like to make a sale?"
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Mar 20, 2019 17:55
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food court bailiff posted:this is the second time you've posted this in this thread so i'm gonna have to stop you And then she and Jim take turns taking steaming dooks on Dwight's desk. She's no his friend, she's a sociopath that occasionally uses kindness to get Dwight to lower his guard enough for Jim to dunk on him extra good.
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Mar 22, 2019 15:32
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Pam pranks Angela by loving Dwight.
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Mar 22, 2019 23:48
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Dwight takes a sip of fresh coffee and finds the taste to be quite odd. Before he can ask if someone allowed Phyllis to brew the pot using her filthy herpes-ridden hands Jim comes up from behind him and whispers in Dwight's ear. "I nut in that." Horrified Dwight spits out hot coffee onto his computer, ruining it. He goes to take a swig from his water bottle desperate to get the taste of semen out of him mouth, but he catches Jim's smirk out of the corner of his eye. Jim smiles wider and nods. "I nut in that." Throwing the water in the trash, Dwight scrambles in his desk and pulls out his sack lunch, and removes the BLT (beet, lettuce, tomato) from inside, relieved to still see it sealed in it's ziplock bag. He goes to take a bite to mask Jim's increasingly intimate flavor on his tongue, but stops when he sees the sandwich dripping with mayonnaise. But... He didn't make it with mayo today. Dwight's face whips around to look incredulously at Jim. Jim laughs. "I nut in that." Dwight sprints to the men's room and kicks down the second to last stall door, knocking out Toby who had been making GBS threads inside. Dwight climbs over Toby's unconscious body and lifts the cover off the back of the toilet, and removes the MRE he had stashed inside in a waterproof bag, one of hundreds throughout the office that he has hid over the years in case of an apocalypse. And currently the overpowering presence of Jim on his taste buds was certainly approaching apocalyptic. He rips open the bag and takes out one of the pouches, a bag of cherry cobbler. Behind him Dwight hears the bathroom door open just as he is about to dump the food in his mouth. But he stops when he hears, "I nut in that." Dwight remains frozen for several heartbeats before dropping the cobbler and slowly turning to face his tormentor. "The one hidden in the seat of the forklift?" He asks with a shaky voice. "I nut in that." "The one in a false bottom in Andy's desk?" "I nut in that." "The... The one in the roof HVAC unit?" "I nut in that." Dwight sobs, he is nearly broken. "The water cooler." He asks as a last, desperate plea. Surely Jim wouldn't contaminate something so public. "I. Nut. In. That!" Dwight runs screaming from the restroom, sobbing and wailing to his car, which he drives hysterically away. He drives to a liquor store and buys a sealed bottle of bourbon, and at last finds respite. Later that night Dwight finds himself at home and sobbing when his loving wife Angela comes to console him. "I know what will make you feel better, hun. Come and get...dinner." She says in a husky, suggestive voice. Yes, Dwight decides, that does sound nice. Making love to his wife will help lift his spirits. And he has always been proud of his skills at the arts of oral pleasure. But he stops halfway to his knees. A single crystal clear thought suddenly dominates his mind as he looks at the love of his wife. Four little words. "I nut in that."
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Mar 25, 2019 23:04
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Jim acts genuinely nice to Dwight, even and especially by actively listening and engaging with Dwight's many interests. In the interview room Jim says "Sometimes the pranks are the friends we made along the way."
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Jun 10, 2019 22:42
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Jim commits a mugging And then mugs to the camera Jim spends the next ten years in prison after the tapes are confiscated as police evidence
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Jul 4, 2019 06:09
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Jim mugs for the camera The cameraman, The Far One, a being from beyond the emptiness between the stars who is a roiling cloud of darkness, has finally had enough of Jim's smarmy ways and reveals itself in it's true form and engulfs Jim in living shadows. This is not the first time The Far One has been displeased with the workers, nay, the prisoners of Dunder-Mifflin and consumed one of them as punishment. The others do their best to ignore Jim's demise, carrying on with their various antics almost as if it never happened at all, as that is the only thing that pleases their enigmatic jailor. Only their occasional glances at the spot where Jim had been consumed betrays their concern and anxiety.
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Jul 4, 2019 06:27
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Jim tricks Dwight into wearing a Potara Earring, permanently fusing them into Jwight, the most powerful paper salesman on Earth.
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Jul 5, 2019 14:06
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Jim converts to Judaism so that the next time Dwight goes to Michael to accuse him of pulling one of his trademark pranks Jim calls Dwight anti-Semitic and gets him fired.
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Mar 23, 2020 14:34
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Jim uses hisastery of Hokuto Shinken to hit Dwight with the Three Point Sacrum Strike to make Dwight's dick explode
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Mar 23, 2020 17:34
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After noticing Jim abruptly leave his desk Dwight goes to investigate, suspecting that Jim has gone to set up another one of his pranks. But instead Dwight finds Jim crying quietly on the stairs. Still concerned that this may be a trick, he asks his sobbing colleague whats the matter. Jim reveals that his marriage is on the rocks ever since Pam had a miscarriage after falling down a falling down during a fight they had had a few nights ago. Dwight is in disbelief and full of conflicting emotions but ultimately decided to sit with his friend to try and console him. Hard cut to Jim who reveals it was actually a regular abortion.
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Mar 23, 2020 18:12
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Jim kills Dwight in order to obtain the mangekyou sharingan.
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Mar 23, 2020 19:01
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While fighting on the planet Mustafar Jim mugs for the camera after attaining the high ground.
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Mar 23, 2020 20:55
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Jim puts all of Dwight's office equipment in Jello and is fired for destruction of company property.
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Mar 24, 2020 02:37
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Jim fakes every orgasm.
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Mar 24, 2020 20:21
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Jim sprays Dwight with grey goo and mugs to the camera as he too is assimilated.
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Mar 25, 2020 15:25
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poisonpill posted:Jim cannot prank Dwight for weeks or months because they are both ordered to work from home during the Scranton COVID-19 outbreak. Jim intentionally gets infected with COVID-19 and begins to cough and spit into empty envelopes and boxes to mail to Schrute Farms. Dwight, in his general paranoia, refuses any and all mail and so does not get the virus, unlike the entire Scranton post office.
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Mar 26, 2020 16:58
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After being inspired by watching SAW for the first time Jim spends months trying to construct a Jigsaw style deathtrap to teach Dwight that he has lost his zeal for life. He tries multiple prototypes ranging from a machine that slices through the carotid artery with a papercut if they cannot answer 1000 Battlestar Galactica questions perfectly to forcing the victim to consume beets laced with a mild poison in an attempt to find one among hundreds that has a key inside before the poison kills them. After hundreds of new designs and just as many dead vagabonds Jim realizes that in his quest for the perfect prank he himself has lost his way, lost sight of what is truly important in life. So instead he mugs to the camera while he farts on Dwight's face while he sleeps to give him pink eye.
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Mar 27, 2020 04:08
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 01:03 |
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Jim convinces Dwight that Snyder's original vision for Justice League was ruined by the studio and encouraged Dwight to petition for the Snyder Cut's release. When it finally succeeds Jim and Dwight sit down to watch it together. The camera lingers on their faces for over four hours as Dwight's facial expressions run through the stages of grief while Jim looks more and more smug at his "friend's" increasing dissapointment. Also Jim rips a nasty popcorn-fart.
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Mar 19, 2021 18:21
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