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Jim goes back in time to his childhood and prevents an embarrassing moment from happening.
Erasable Penis fucked around with this message at 20:09 on Oct 5, 2023 |
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Jan 3, 2023 00:32
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 20:16 |
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Jim calls Dwight "Balloon Boy" as a prank. Nobody in the office gets why this is supposed to be funny at first. But on second thought nobody gets it either. Erasable Penis fucked around with this message at 16:25 on Jan 26, 2023 |
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Jan 12, 2023 23:29
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A few weeks after the documentary "The Office: An American Workplace" airs Dwight discovers that there is a disturbing amount of "Dwim" fanfiction out on the internet. Against his better judgement he begins to read some of them. At first he is disgusted at the almost pornographic description of his and Jim's relationship in all the stories he read. But he also notices the tenderness and kindness with which the fictional Jim treats the fictional Dwight and gets a bit envious. After a while reading these stories becomes something of a comfort activity for him; in particular when Jim pranks him in a particular mean manner. On one such occasion while reading a sweet "Dwim" story Jim hits Dwight over the head with a bat knocking him and a few of his teeth out. In the break room Jim mugs in the direction of a imagined camera and says: "I'm more of a Jight fan." Erasable Penis fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Jan 26, 2023 |
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Jan 26, 2023 16:21
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Jim copies Dwight's homework and changes only some minor details. Dwight gets written up.
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Jan 27, 2023 16:16
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Jim slaps Dwight until both of them have to be taken to the hospital.
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Jan 27, 2023 16:17
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"I think we need more Jim footage,; especially from his home" "Are you nuts? We aleady have enough for ten more seasons of this crap show" --- "Jim, you relly need to keep the volume down! This is also my house!" Pam shouts at Jim as he is putting another plank on the buzzsaw. "Pam, it's not my fault that the cellar is floodef with radioactive clown sauce and I now have to work in the living room." Jim shouts back. "Besides I really need to finish this Trojan horse." Pam then cuts the cord to the buzzsaw and enjoys a quiet evening. --- This repeats for the next few days. Jim meets with the camera crew and invites them to his home hoping that Pam will then leave his buzzsaw alone. Not wanting to offend the star of the show the crew accepts grudingly. "I just can't afford a new saw every day" he complains to the camera. --- In the evening when Pam sees the crew in living room filming Jim and his half finished Trojan horse she leaves for the bedroom shouting profanities at Jim. He grins happily but before dedicating himself to his buzzsaw on he turns to the boom operator: "Can you please keep an eye on the bedroom door? I don't want Pam coming out and ruin the whole thing. With noise we wont need you anyway." --- Brian opens the bedroom door to a smiling Pam. He opens the bottle of red wine he brought with him and the two sit down on the bed clinking glasses. "This went well, don't you think?" says a content Pam. Erasable Penis fucked around with this message at 23:25 on Jan 28, 2023 |
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Jan 28, 2023 18:12
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Jim decides to "throw a wench" in Dwight's and Angela's relationship during Dwight's stay at the annual office supply convention in Philadelphia. The wench of course turns out to be Angela herself so all is well for them. Jim mugs the camera anyway.
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Jan 29, 2023 11:55
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Jim convinces Kelly that Ryan is the best she can do.
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Feb 14, 2023 23:11
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Jim convinces Angela that Andy is the best she can do.
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Feb 26, 2023 15:22
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Due to a particularly nasty string of pranks, Dwight needs to visit his dentist Dr. Crentist, his urologist Dr. Curologist, his oncologist Dr. Croncologist and his ophthalmologist Dr. Crophthalmologist on the same workday. He is fired for obvious fraud. Jim shrugs and mugs for the camera.
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Apr 13, 2023 18:58
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Jim gives Dwight osteoporosis. In a rare bout of bad conscience Jim gives Dwight also Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva thinking the two diseases will cancel each other out. They don't and for some reason Jim feels like mugging the camera. Erasable Penis fucked around with this message at 22:30 on Apr 16, 2023 |
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Apr 16, 2023 22:27
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Ryan can't wait for Jim's next prank. He decides to pull a prank himself. After all, it's the pranks that matter, right? It doesn't have to be Jim. Something simple. It's always funny when Jim kicks Dwight in the balls, right? Ryan thinks he can manage that. Ryan sees Dwight standing by the copying machine. Dwight's legs are slightly apart, a perfect fork for Ryan to drive his dainty foot into. Ryan charges up and kicks Dwight as hard as he can between the legs. Unfortunately for Ryan this is aggrevated assault and he is arrested shortly after. Jim mugs the camera. Erasable Penis fucked around with this message at 21:52 on Apr 17, 2023 |
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Apr 17, 2023 21:48
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Jim places a piece of tape over the sensor of Dwight's mouse. This causes him multiple seconds of frustration until he discovers the issue. Jim mugs the camera.
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Apr 21, 2023 14:53
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Jim installs the Ninja Warrior obstacle course around Dwight's desk. Dwight aces the course on the first try. Jim mugs the camera with an angry face.
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Apr 29, 2023 21:31
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Jim signs Dwight up as a participant for Farmer Wants a Wife. The TV crew lives rent free in his house for months, the production equipment destroys his beets on the field and the constant stream of strange women courting Dwight causes Angela to move out. To add salt to the wound Jim makes sure that Dwight is typecast as the bumbling idiot of this season of the show. The easily influenced Michael begins to think that Dwight always has been an moron. For the rest of his life strangers on the street harass Dwight with his supposed catch phrase "bears, beets, Battlestar Galactic". If you pay close attention in each scene on Dwight's farm there is Jim in the background mugging the camera.
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May 2, 2023 20:08
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Jim signs Dwight up for the Eurovision Song Contest despite (rather because of) the fact that Dwight can neither song nor dance. He also does not enjoy fancy dresses and make-up. Still he is contractually obliged to compete for Moldova and sing in their national language. To his and Jim's complete surprise Dwight wins it all and has to do it again next year. Jim mugs the camera for a whole year straight.
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May 14, 2023 09:21
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LaserPrinter69 posted:Jim's 2023 reboot of This American Workspace is a critical and commercial disaster. The metacritic score sets a Guinness world record for the shittiest rated comedy or drama series, and the financial strain on Hulu causes them to immediately file for chapter 7 bankruptcy. The FCC is innuendated with complaints of the hardcore nudity and graphic depictions of several unmentionable acts, and the US Congress passes a rare bipartisan bill to prevent Jim Halpert from ever getting behind a camera lens again. Jim however faces no real repercussions since he simply adopts the identity of his alter ego John Krasinski. A decade later when the dust has settled down and Dwight's reputation starts to recuperate, John starts the prequel series The American Kindergarden focusing solely on Dwight's most embarrassing moments growing up. After the first episode has aired, Dwight is getting spit on again on the regular.
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May 16, 2023 21:32
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Jim shows up to work in a robot exoskeleton. He more or less destroys the whole office building with his 4m powered frame. This is somehow a prank on Dwight since he mentioned the movie Alien in a positive light.
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May 17, 2023 21:22
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Jim paints all of Dwight's beets black like rocks causing Dwight to miss an entire harvest. Now Dwight does not have enough money to fix his broken teeth and can only eat soup.
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May 19, 2023 10:02
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Jim decides to broaden his horizon and participate in a prankster's exchange to Germany. Ulf the German prankster will go to Scranton while Jim will go to Cologne. Once arrived Jim quickly recognises the power structures in the insurance company where Ulf works: Ernie is the victim, Stromberg the Boss and Tanja the love interest. Ernie is tasked with instructing Jim and takes this very serious: he does not stop to talk to Jim even though Ernie does not speak English and Jim doesn't speak German. While doing so Ernie gets uncomfortably close to Jim. This is when Jim notices that Ernie has both halitosis and bad body odor; Jim almost faints and tries to flee to Tanja. Tanja is upset about Ulf's absence and blames Jim for it. Hence she does not speak a word to him and even encourages Ernie to up his efforts. After a week of this Jim is contemplating suicide. Stromberg just observes the situation from his office while frowning and never interacts with Jim. In the meantime Ulf has forged great working relationships with everyone with his quirky and easygoing nature and even started an affair with Pam who reciprocated quickly. Ulf mugs the camera while Jim jumps from a bridge into the Rhine. Erasable Penis fucked around with this message at 20:43 on May 19, 2023 |
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May 19, 2023 20:39
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Jim becomes immunocompromised in order to create new Covid variants in his body on his 96th infection. His intention is to cancel Dwight's birthday party but instead he just dies. On the next day Jim wakes up in his red racecar bed.
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May 20, 2023 23:17
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Jim and his best pal Cthulhu open a portal to the dimension of madness to open at Dwight's bedroom door just as Dwight is stepping through it.
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May 23, 2023 19:41
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Erasable Penis posted:Jim and his best pal Cthulhu open a portal to the dimension of madness to open at Dwight's bedroom door just as Dwight is stepping through it. Dwight instantly appears at his desk in the office. This cuts his commute by 45min. Dwight mugs the camera.
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May 23, 2023 20:26
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On the eve of June the 16th Jim sits in the middle of five burning candles arranged in a circle around him. He chants silently in a foreign tongue resembling Latin with his eyes closed and a curved black knives in his right hand. At exactly midnight he opens his eyes and cuts across the palm of his left hand. With the blood from his wound he draws a pentagram with the candles as vertices and himself in the middle. As soon as it is finished the blood begins to burn and black smoke begins to rise. With tears in his eyes Jim shouts the incarnation and the allegiance to the god of chaos is complete. Jim now has knowledge of the darkest and cruelest if pranks. He begins to laugh maniacally at the thought of Dwight's fate. On the next morning just as Dwight pours his morning coffee Jim creeps up behind him unseen, tips Dwight's right shoulder and moves to Dwight's right. Dwight looks to his right and sees no one.
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May 24, 2023 23:04
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"They say the hardest part of reincarnation is knowing that your children will never exist... They are wrong. The hardest part is having to live your life all over again", thinks Dwight as he is getting kicked in the balls by Jim on his first day at Dunder Mifflin.
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May 26, 2023 11:16
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"What is the truest expression of self-hate?" asks Jim as he delivers a flying kick into Dwight's balls. "To hurt those you love the most." A single tear flows down Jim's cheek.
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May 27, 2023 15:25
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Also: why has this thread only 4 stars? It is the highlight of the whole forum...
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May 27, 2023 20:33
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Jim tries to eat Dwight's grandmother in an attempt to do a Little Red Riding Hood themed prank. However this triggers grandma Schrute's PTSD and she beats the emaciated Jim to a bloody pulp just before Dwight visits. Seeing his crippled coworker makes Dwight slightly sick and he gagges once. A toothless Jim mugs the camera.
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May 30, 2023 10:01
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Jim takes up step dancing and makes it the only way of motion he uses. The sound of his shoes is incredibly loud and annoying since somehow the shoes not only clack but also squeak at the same volume. Fortunately for Dwight Jim now takes over 8h to step dance his way from home to the office and thus misses the entire work day.
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May 31, 2023 17:15
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Im the meantime Pam sighs at the bank's letter informing her of the 12th mortgage on their home.
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Jun 4, 2023 15:30
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Jim travels back in time to shoot Bertha Benz before she could take the newly invented automobile for a test drive. As a result the car never gets popular and Dwight's commute is now 2h. Jim mugs for the daguerreotype since he is now stuck in the 19thcentury.
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Jun 4, 2023 17:53
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Jim mugs Dwight so hard he gets a concussion.
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Jun 4, 2023 21:44
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Jim claims you must caramelize an onion for 15 hours. Dwight, drawing from generations of deep German country cooking wisdom, knows this to be impossible. When Dwight attempts to correct Jim, Jim publishes a recipe online then contracts a click farm to boost his engagements. Soon, every cooking blog copies this lie, and it becomes common wisdom that an onion tastes like charcoal.
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Jun 5, 2023 10:00
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"Falcon punch!" exclaims Jim much to the annoyance of Oscar.
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Jun 7, 2023 15:38
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Jim transforms into a swarm of bees and chases him, Dwight, inro running traffic.
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Jun 10, 2023 08:32
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Jim gifts Dwight 1billion dollars just to be able to call him a "out of touch billionaire".
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Jun 11, 2023 19:31
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Jim begins to bend short pieces of wire into paperclips. At first he only does this slowly while on the phone or when he takes a break. After a week there is a small heap of paperclips beneath Jim's desk. Soon the pace at which he bends paperclips becomes much more rapid and he produces thousands of paperclips per day. But he never seems to run out of wire. In fact in the blur that are Jim's hands there is no wire at all and he seems to bend them from any object that is nearby. Still the pace at which the clips are produced accelerates and now the entire office building is filled with paperclips. After some days all of Scranton is a giant heap of clips and there is no end in sight. Jim is buried somewhere beneath the heap which still continues to grow. Dwight tries to flee from the flood of paperclips across the continent but in the end is cut off by an approaching wave of paperclips from all sides. Dwight looks up at the sun for the last time before he drowns in a sea of bent wire. Somewhere Jim mugs the camera. Erasable Penis fucked around with this message at 16:25 on Jun 12, 2023 |
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Jun 12, 2023 14:59
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Jim puts Schrödinger's cat in Schrödinger's hat and now there are three ways to perceive Jim: Jim with a hat, Jim without a hat and a cat on his head and Jim without a hat and with a dead cat on his head. This results in even less usable footage for the show, leading ultimately to its cancellation. Dwight is thrilled by this development.
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Jun 13, 2023 10:12
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InsertPotPun posted:some of these pranks aren't fun Personally I just imagine air quotes around fun.
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Jun 14, 2023 20:28
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 20:16 |
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Jim transforms into the most dangerous animal of all to haunt and torment Dwight. Fortunately for Dwight this is a mosquito. Unfortunately for Dwight Jim stings Dwight between the toes. Fortunately for Dwight the sting causes Dwight to press his toes together squashing Jim. And so Dwight lives happily ever after.
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Jun 15, 2023 11:59
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