sitting is the new smoking

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > sitting is the new smoking

«‹›4 »

redm

I started sitting because it was the only way I could get a break at my first job

That was 10 years ago

# ? Mar 28, 2019 23:45

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 6, 2024 15:57

alnilam

redm posted:

I started sitting because it was the only way I could get a break at my first job

That was 10 years ago

Can't hardly get a drat bathroom break but the sitters at work get to go out for five minutes every hour, pisses me off. I know one guy who tried to pretend just to get the breaks and when they never saw him at the bench they fired him for "insubordination"

# ? Mar 29, 2019 00:34

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

alnilam posted:

Can't hardly get a drat bathroom break but the sitters at work get to go out for five minutes every hour, pisses me off. I know one guy who tried to pretend just to get the breaks and when they never saw him at the bench they fired him for "insubordination"

You gotta at least hang out around the bench maybe lean a little get some second hand sitting in. Chat it up with the sitters. They wont yell at management that you don't sit, they might not even notice!

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Mar 29, 2019 00:38

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

out of time, i'll have to finish this one later
*folds up camping chair and tucks it behind my ear*

# ? Mar 29, 2019 00:39

google THIS

canyoneer posted:

out of time, i'll have to finish this one later
*folds up camping chair and tucks it behind my ear*

# ? Mar 29, 2019 01:18

vanisher

I hope hamjobs is doing okay

# ? Mar 29, 2019 01:36

Goons Are Gifts

vanisher posted:

I hope hamjobs is doing okay

# ? Mar 29, 2019 01:52

City of Glompton

she just went out to buy some chairs i'm sure she'll be back soon

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Mar 29, 2019 01:53

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

it's been 23 years any second now

any

second

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Mar 29, 2019 01:58

redm

[strikes match]
[lights candle and reads quietly]

# ? Mar 29, 2019 02:17

alnilam

they're so drat restrictive these days with the outdoors this and tm twenty feet from a building that, it's like you gotta go into the drat woods and sit on a fallen log, hell they'll probably bust you for that too if it's public land

# ? Mar 29, 2019 02:19

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

canyoneer posted:

out of time, i'll have to finish this one later
*folds up camping chair and tucks it behind my ear*

lol'd

# ? Mar 29, 2019 04:29

City of Glompton

my neighbor taught his dog to sit, i mean, is that hosed up or what? what is wrong with people

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Mar 29, 2019 05:17

Papa Was A Video Toaster

i hear there's an orangutan in Malaysia that sits all day for the tourists

# ? Mar 29, 2019 05:20

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

hosed up if true

spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

# ? Mar 29, 2019 05:20

City of Glompton

sitting is such a disgusting habit and i'm trying hard to quit. i've been going to sitting cessation classes and i have to say it's nice not to smell like microfiber and febreze anymore. i'm even saving up the change i no longer lose in the couch to go on a vacation!

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Mar 29, 2019 05:23

Papa Was A Video Toaster

City of Glompton posted:

sitting is such a disgusting habit and i'm trying hard to quit. i've been going to sitting cessation classes and i have to say it's nice not to smell like microfiber and febreze anymore. i'm even saving up the change i no longer lose in the couch to go on a vacation!

good for you. the first week is the hardest. hopefully you don't have to fly for your vacation, it's so tempting to sit in an airplane.

# ? Mar 29, 2019 05:27

Farecoal: There he go

City of Glompton posted:

she just went out to buy some chairs i'm sure she'll be back soon

# ? Mar 29, 2019 05:32

City of Glompton

Finger Prince posted:

Used to be you just sat in a chair, and sure maybe you got hemorrhoids eventually, but it was cool. Now kids these days have all these fruity chaise lounges and figure they can just lounge around anywhere on them. Like, we get it, you recline. Well enjoy it while it lasts, because they're going to ban that too next.

cool guys w/mods like minifridges in the arms, speakers in the headrests, vibrating heated massage backs, etc all competing to see who can recline back the furthest

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Mar 29, 2019 05:32

Dads Dip Cup

*young boy putting things in locker and shutting the door as another kid in a rolling chair rolls over to him from off screen*

"hey, kid. want one?" *pointing towards group of extremely 80s teens wearing jean jackets and sunglasses indoors sitting around next to an empty chair*

"c'mon man, everyone's doin' it. what are ya, chicken?"

# ? Mar 29, 2019 06:06

FlaxAxis: sup #entitlitos

started sitting back in high school because I thought it was cool
now I just do it to take the edge off, definitely wasn't worth the lumbar problems
I have no self control, so I try not to get a whole chair
but they stopped selling loose stools at the gas station around the corner...
~~thinkin I might go get hypnotized. seemed to work for my brother in law.~~

e: fixed it

FlaxAxis fucked around with this message at 06:26 on Mar 29, 2019

vanisher = sig champ

# ? Mar 29, 2019 06:18

super sweet best pal

This is a sitless office, please do not insult our standing desks with your tall chair.

# ? Mar 29, 2019 10:01

super sweet best pal

R.E.M. doing anti-sitting PSAs with their song.

# ? Mar 29, 2019 10:07

Android Blues

canyoneer posted:

uber driver rolls up, i step inside and ask "do you mind if i sit in here?"
he sighs and rolls down the window next to me

canyoneer posted:

"as a reminder, please note that the no sitting light will be on for the duration of the flight. it is a federal crime to sit in the lavatory"

Macnult posted:

we get it, you crouch

FlaxAxis posted:

ayo can i cop a squat man? I'll get you back I swear

google THIS posted:

Sneaking outside with no jacket during the family Christmas party to use the porch rocker, hoping Aunt May doesn't notice.

google THIS posted:

A group of teenagers hanging out outside Sofa Express for no apparent reason, sizing up everyone who walks in.

canyoneer posted:

movie scene has a period correct 1970's newsroom

"hah, wow. can you imagine working in an environment like that?! everyone is sitting down. inside!"

google THIS posted:

Health teacher: This is what a healthy butt looks like...(click-whirrrrr-rrrrr-click)...and this is a sitter's butt.

SciFiDownBeat posted:

eyeing the sitters outside the house party with jealousy while quietly popping a chairtix

TVsVeryOwn posted:

I loving love squatting. So much better and healthier than sitting. I actually never picked up sitting, just went straight to squatting.

canyoneer posted:

out of time, i'll have to finish this one later
*folds up camping chair and tucks it behind my ear*

alnilam posted:

they're so drat restrictive these days with the outdoors this and tm twenty feet from a building that, it's like you gotta go into the drat woods and sit on a fallen log, hell they'll probably bust you for that too if it's public land

City of Glompton posted:

my neighbor taught his dog to sit, i mean, is that hosed up or what? what is wrong with people

TVsVeryOwn posted:

i hear there's an orangutan in Malaysia that sits all day for the tourists

City of Glompton posted:

sitting is such a disgusting habit and i'm trying hard to quit. i've been going to sitting cessation classes and i have to say it's nice not to smell like microfiber and febreze anymore. i'm even saving up the change i no longer lose in the couch to go on a vacation!

oh my god this thread is so good

# ? Mar 29, 2019 12:51

alnilam

as a sitter it always drives me nuts that older airplanes still have seats in them, even in the bathroom

# ? Mar 29, 2019 13:34

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

i heard of this new thing, a wheel-chair it's for people that can't stand on their own it lets you sit and move it's like a segway only without all the leg straps also has a chair

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Mar 29, 2019 13:37

alnilam

Don't sit regularly but i occasionally splurge and enjoy a nice long sit on a big fancy chair. Cuban Rockers are the best but they're so hard to get

# ? Mar 29, 2019 14:52

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

if people want to sit outside by themselves, that's their business. i do get annoyed when they leave their butts laying around though

# ? Mar 29, 2019 15:31

alnilam

canyoneer posted:

if people want to sit outside by themselves, that's their business. i do get annoyed when they leave their butts laying around though

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Mar 29, 2019 15:35

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

canyoneer posted:

if people want to sit outside by themselves, that's their business. i do get annoyed when they leave their butts laying around though

I mistook this as sand at first due to the white balance being off I was wondering how the sand got all over that bench on a beach

it's snow right I think it's snow must be so cold to sit in the snow I know it's not good but I sit inside the house going outside is just not enjoyable

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Mar 29, 2019 15:43

google THIS

canyoneer posted:

if people want to sit outside by themselves, that's their business. i do get annoyed when they leave their butts laying around though

# ? Mar 29, 2019 16:09

Finger Prince

alnilam posted:

as a sitter it always drives me nuts that older airplanes still have seats in them, even in the bathroom

It's actually a legal requirement to put a seat in the toilet, so in case someone does try to sit in there (even though they aren't supposed to), they don't sit on the garbage flap. It's because way back, someone sat in the lav and nobody noticed until it was too late, and suddenly the whole aircraft was engulfed in sitting and like everyone died because they couldn't get out (because they were all comfortably seated). Tragic.

# ? Mar 29, 2019 16:14