- google THIS
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Sneaking outside with no jacket during the family Christmas party to use the porch rocker, hoping Aunt May doesn't notice.
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Mar 28, 2019 16:56
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- Adbot
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May 19, 2024 05:32
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A group of teenagers hanging out outside Sofa Express for no apparent reason, sizing up everyone who walks in.
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Mar 28, 2019 16:59
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- google THIS
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Health teacher: This is what a healthy butt looks like...(click-whirrrrr-rrrrr-click)...and this is a sitter's butt.
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Mar 28, 2019 17:06
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- google THIS
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I'm too comfortable to post in BYOB
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Mar 28, 2019 17:19
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- google THIS
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"Wow, it's standing room only in here."
"I know, the state passed a new law last year."
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Mar 28, 2019 20:41
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- google THIS
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cigarette load --> whoopie cushion
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Mar 28, 2019 20:49
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- google THIS
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out of time, i'll have to finish this one later
*folds up camping chair and tucks it behind my ear*
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Mar 29, 2019 01:18
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- google THIS
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Lawmakers are considering relaxing our public no-sitting laws, so some of us are organizing a smoke-in.
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Mar 30, 2019 00:09
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- google THIS
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So I'm on a date with this really cute girl and it comes up in conversation that we are both sitters. We both agree that it's almost preferable to date other sitters, so you don't have to deal with the looming stigma. The evening proceeds, and eventually she invites me over. Score. We were having a real good time, we even snuck a sit on the bus over to her place. It was fun at the time, but a real red flag in hindsight. Her house is a little run down, but you know, times are tough so I didn't think much of it. We go inside and yeah, you guessed it, chairs. Not just the stools and folding chairs I'm used to, but big cushioned arm chairs and even a leather loveseat. Now, I've never been one for sitting inside my own home, but being the eternal optimist that I am, I start thinking about how cool it would be to have a friend's place were I could come sit indoors at maximum comfort, while still being able to go home to my own sit free environment. Without saying anything, she drags me over to the loveseat and we both pop a squat. We start making out, while sitting, and it's total sensory overload. For a brief moment, I'm in heaven. Something catches my eye mid-makeout however. Slumped over in the corner, in the most comfortable looking chair I've ever seen, is a skinny old guy with long grey hair and a scuzzy tshirt. He's passed out cold and drooling on himself. What the gently caress. This has me really anxious, like I can't stop looking at this guy in between smooches. Is he okay? Father? Roommate? Before I can ask her any of these questions, she suddenly jumps up from the couch and says "Hey, you wanna go lay down?" She bounds across the room and opens a door to reveal an entire room dedicated to a BED. At this point I'm freaking out, so I awkwardly excuse myself and get the hell out of there. I'll be the first to admit that I enjoy a good sit, but I don't gently caress with that hard stuff.
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Mar 30, 2019 16:23
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- google THIS
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That one shop that just sells cushions and ottomans and seat covers for "decorative" purposes.
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Mar 31, 2019 17:06
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- google THIS
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"Bad enough we're not rounding all these people up and putting them in jail, now my tax dollars are gonna pay for clean wheelchairs for chain sitters?!"
"They're called paraplegics, grandpa."
"Whatever! drat kids and your political correctness!"
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Mar 31, 2019 20:20
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- google THIS
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20 Ways to "Just Say No"
- No way, man. Sitting is "off fleek."
- No thanks. I would rather recline at table, like Jesus.
- Chairs are for squares.
- Benches are for wenches.
- Sofas are for loafas. (loafers)
- Stools are for tools.
- Swings are for dingalings.
- Adirondacks are wack.
- Taking a seat is for the defeat(ed).
- Why sit when you can kneel? (devout version)
- Sure, I would love to sit down...NOT!
- My grandma died from sitting. Thanks for the reminder.
- The only reason a person would sit is because they can't stand themselves.
- I'm saving my butt for marriage.
- Sitting? More like...shpitting!
- You can't climb the stairway to heaven if you're on the ski lift to hell.
- Why sit when you can kneel? (suggestive version)
- Not now. I'm taking a stand!
- Sitting stinks! (wave hand by butt while saying this)
- You know who else sat? Hitler.
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Apr 2, 2019 00:32
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- google THIS
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People being executed by firing squad are traditionally offered one last seat. This is what's referred to as giving them "the chair."
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Apr 3, 2019 23:25
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May 19, 2024 05:32
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- google THIS
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Waking up at 2 in the morning, grabbing a stack of books and magazines, and plopping down on a pig carcass, because that's what it takes to make the best barbecue in town.
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Apr 6, 2019 23:50
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Mar 28, 2019 16:56
