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Who's the one person you absolutely can't stand but is, unfortunately, a part of your life right now? Bonus points if it's somehow you. I work with a guy who loves to suck up to upper management and throw people under the bus. Up until about 2 years ago he was some kind of Vice President in our company, but then *something* happened and he's back down to the same level I am, which is about a half dozen steps down the corporate ladder. If you try to leave work even a few minutes early he'll rat you out. If you don't respond to a request from him within an hour he'll cc your manager and ask again. If you make even the smallest mistake and he catches it, he'll fwd it up to your boss, cc you, and say something like "Just a heads up! I caught a little error today!". He doesn't talk about his life outside of work except for his wife, who he hates with a passion and isn't afraid to constantly mention. He also played baseball in college (this is like 30 years ago now) and will mention that he could still be playing baseball if he hadn't married his wife. One time he seemed happy to talk to me about baseball, until I mentioned that my wife plays softball. He suddenly got really cold and said that softball wasn't the same as baseball and that he didn't like people comparing the two. I dread any interaction with this guy and do my best to just avoid him. I've been watching "What We Do in the Shadows" and there's an energy vampire on that show that feeds on negative emotions. I fully believe this guy might be an energy vampire.
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Apr 11, 2019 13:37
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I don't have one. Alive anyhow.
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Apr 11, 2019 13:46
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My little sister. She constantly, like at least 4 times a week asks me for money when she knows I'm on disability and have two kids, and I know all she spends her money on to begin with is weed and shatter and dabs. She's currently pregnant, although she has a tilted uterus, endometriosis and is so unhealthy in terms of her weight (underweight) that I'm gonna be surprised if she carries it to term. She tells my son she's gonna come visit after she convinces me to let him video call her and then never shows up 9 times out of ten, and then yesterday when I told her we were considering moving up north where my wife's dad lives for a few years to save some money and spend time with them she had the nerve to say she spent the last two years bonding with my kid and it's selfish of me to consider such a thing. This thread popped up at the perfect time I've been so pissed off since yesterday.
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Apr 11, 2019 13:54
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I work with a guy who proudly told us how he took out all the pink blocks from his son's lego. And one time I think I overheard his saying that foxes are "the gays of the forest", but I'm not 100% sure about that one. Since all my actual enemies are in the cold cold ground I'll nominate that guy as the worst.
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Apr 11, 2019 13:57
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Everyone I work with is super chill and I don't have many acquaintances, so I guess that makes me the worst by default.
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Apr 11, 2019 14:00
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Icochet posted:And one time I think I overheard his saying that foxes are "the gays of the forest", but I'm not 100% sure about that one. lol I'm going to think about this the next time I hear the foxes that live behind our house
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Apr 11, 2019 14:13
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It's me.
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Apr 11, 2019 14:17
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Bobby Kotick.
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Apr 11, 2019 14:41
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Icochet posted:And one time I think I overheard his saying that foxes are "the gays of the forest", but I'm not 100% sure about that one. That's hilarious. I said what's up to a big fox strolling down my street the other night. He dipped, but that's okay, because I think he was after my rabbit friend. 
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Apr 11, 2019 14:43
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I hope you are planning to get that guy fired and/or murdered OP
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Apr 11, 2019 14:45
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Icochet posted:foxes are "the gays of the forest" 🦊
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Apr 11, 2019 14:48
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r u ready to WALK posted:I hope you are planning to get that guy fired and/or murdered OP Sadly, my only hope is that he fails upwards back into another VP position or something similar. Despite being quietly demoted from his position for whatever reason, he still has connections with corporate and is basically untouchable.
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Apr 11, 2019 14:52
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Icochet posted:And one time I think I overheard his saying that foxes are "the gays of the forest", but I'm not 100% sure about that one. Have you met furries?
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Apr 11, 2019 14:56
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I moved to the other side of the world so no one anymore. This Scott Morrison guy is a bit of a prick though.
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Apr 11, 2019 14:59
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His name is Paul and I hate him. He's a big fat round bellied son of a bitch. He comes to my bar, manspreads as wide as he can no matter who he sits next to, then starts laughing and blabbing about all those stupid libs and is still bitching about her emails. He's like a character out of a television show and it would be funny if it wasn't real life. He plays golf all the time but nobody will play with him and he's banned from all the local golf courses except the college course. He owns a few billboards along I-75 and makes his living renting them out and believes this makes him some sort of king.
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Apr 11, 2019 15:21
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I dont know dude Im constantly surrounded by the shittiest people you can possibly imagine, usually some sort of forced proximity due to their perceived utility and my need for that. It usually turns out I didnt need them at all at it was just more wasted life and useless psychological trauma. And the years go on and I get more cynical and angry and usually have some delusional thoughts that I can see something human or relatable in the next person I have to suffer through to avoid dying, but they always turn out to be complete frauds. I guess Ive made some legit friends but I rarely get any quality time because of the constant anti- social bullshit and hostile environment the pawn pieces make when their utility is nullified but they are still just around looking for something to do aka gently caress up 
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Apr 11, 2019 15:34
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I hate my supervisor, and his supervisor, and his supervisor most of all. And also the relatively new guy they just promoted above me instead of promoting me. Because he's an idiot child with narcicism like them. They're a bunch of egotistical idiots who got in power about one year ago who are now systematically destroying what once was a beautiful and awesome place to work. The worst is the highest level person who nevertheless still micromanages at every level, plays favorites, and has a nasty streak for petty cruel revenge. Now I've got to abandon my career that's been ten years in the making and start over in a whole new field, or move somewhere else and start building over again. Don't like either option but I'm staying put and switching career directions drastically I think. Right now I'm basically living for the day I can say "gently caress you, I'm out!" Which I honestly might do any day even before getting another job. The awesome thing is idiot evil top boss is absolutely depending on me and only me to finish one of her crazy brained big projects she sold while on her march up the ladder, and me leaving is going to screw her gloriously. Maybe she should have thought of that before promoting that idiot useless rear end in a top hat ahead of me just because his personality reminds her of her own, and otherwise making my workplace a living hell.
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Apr 11, 2019 15:39
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I have a "Paul" in my life (though since he lives across town and is usually off social media I can avoid him) and when he gets drunk he turns into the strawiest of 4chan alt righter strawpeople when he's not ogling over Brazilian fitness models he's following on instagram. Otherwise posts selfies of him looking sad and bored at karaoke night. If I'm to give him any sympathy it's that he's one of those frustrated trolls that drank the koolaid and shitposts IRL yet is confused on why he can't get a date. Though, one time he was arguing with our mutual friends at one of these karaoke nights on why he should still be able to date 18 year olds (were all in our 30s) so Jesus Christ.
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Apr 11, 2019 15:41
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i know these two guys from like high school and just started hanging with them again a few years ago. i go over there house once every like 2-3 weeks. they're both around my age (in their 30s) and one is unemployed and the other is a waiter and basically they just smoke weed all day every day and talk about how everything is bullshit and the world is unfair and it's impossible to succeed. also one of them is a qanon conspiracy theorist and the other one is the type of guy who used to win a lot of fights, so he talks about that all the time. they're extremely codependent and they're adult male roommates and basically the situation is totally inappropriate. for a long time they worked at the same restaurant as wiaters and bartenders. one of them tried to get a real job recently and basically quit after 2 months. i met a real solid friend through them, this other guy who has a career and mostly has his poo poo together, so now i just hang with him and we smoke weed and talk about these two other guys and how we could maybe help them or convince them away from some of the misguided poo poo they think and do. both of us go and hang with them every few weeks to keep abreast of the situation. i have to admit it is fascinating to have someone to chop it up with about these two.
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Apr 11, 2019 15:44
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A guy at work has crowned himself the bathroom monitor. He will yell at people while hes in the stall if he suspects he didnt hear them washing their hands. He posts passive-aggressive notes about not using your phone while youre on the toilet. He is a creepy neurotic guy and talking to him is always awkward.
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Apr 11, 2019 15:59
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squid pro quo posted:A guy at work has crowned himself the bathroom monitor. He will yell at people while hes in the stall if he suspects he didnt hear them washing their hands. He posts passive-aggressive notes about not using your phone while youre on the toilet. He is a creepy neurotic guy and talking to him is always awkward. You should yell "guy at works name, STOP MASTERBATING IN THE STALL!"
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Apr 11, 2019 16:02
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The guy next to me who talks to himself looks at porn at work while im right next to him and can see his phone and makes orgasm sounds while he eats is pretty loving annoying. Also i seem him on grindr with the username "looking for tranny" which is loving hilarious and i can never tell anyone at work and that sucks.
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Apr 11, 2019 16:17
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Have you considered telling HR?
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Apr 11, 2019 16:19
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yeah i told my manager about the porn thing and they had a chat with him but they cant prove anything and he hasnt done it recently, the other poo poo is annoying as gently caress but none of it is against the rules.
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Apr 11, 2019 16:23
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Who What Now posted:Have you considered telling HR? He doesnt want them to be promoted
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Apr 11, 2019 16:30
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The old church lady at work who is straight out of central casting. couldn't be more of a stereotype.
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Apr 11, 2019 16:37
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Im the worst person. I DO NOT respect other peoples leftovers. If anyone, ANYONE, in my family comes home with leftovers, I will covertly raid that poo poo for a midnight snack. You probably wont even realize anything was taken, but Ive been in that takeout container. Ive probably done this to each person reading this too. My reach is wide. Ironically enough, I do not do this at work. Thats just weird and extremely mean.
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Apr 11, 2019 16:48
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at the moment its me. everyone is pissing me off and i'm pissing everyone off. ah well
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Apr 11, 2019 16:57
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Flambeau posted:Everyone I work with is super chill and I don't have many acquaintances, so I guess that makes me the worst by default. 
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Apr 11, 2019 17:00
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Its a blessed life when im the worst person i know
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Apr 11, 2019 17:02
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probably people I don't know personally but who are spiraling the world into chaos and catastrophe
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Apr 11, 2019 17:07
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My upstairs neighbor. That unit was empty when we moved in and was empty for about a year and a half but now it's full of dirtbags. They park on the lawn instead of the parking lot on the other side of the building. They throw cigarette butts all over the lawn. The area under the stairs is now full of car parts and other assorted junk. They're super loving loud way into the night and people are constantly coming and going. Their dog pees on the balcony which just rains down on our balcony. They leave dirty diapers on the walkway outside (did I mention they have a 1 year old?). We've had rats in the walls pretty much since they moved in which makes our dogs bark all the loving time. The real kicker is that when we moved in my landlord vetted us extensively because he said he didn't want to rent to people who were going to cause problems with the other tenants. Every time I've talked to them it's just like "oh my b, yeah that's no problem" but nothing ever changes. When I've talked to the landlord he just tells me to talk to them myself. Our lease is up and we're month to month so we've been looking for a new place but this neighborhood is so expensive and our rent is so cheap that it's really hard to find something habitable nearby.
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Apr 11, 2019 17:09
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probably the local punk band who is really mad at me for pointing out their bass player is 40 and likes to gently caress high school girls.
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Apr 11, 2019 17:10
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Mozi posted:probably people I don't know personally but who are spiraling the world into chaos and catastrophe 
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Apr 11, 2019 17:17
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WatermelonGun posted:probably the local punk band who is really mad at me for pointing out their bass player is 40 and likes to gently caress high school girls. good. gently caress local punk bands i loving hate this stupid printer in our office, it sucks rear end
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Apr 11, 2019 17:18
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I would say my mother for treating my wife like dogshit for no reason and making every family event something to stress over, but I've been  'ed for a few years now and everything's good. I'm like one of those people who hates one of their limbs and wants to cut it off, then does and they say: "My only regret was not doing this earlier."
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Apr 11, 2019 17:35
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Icochet posted:And one time I think I overheard his saying that foxes are "the gays of the forest", but I'm not 100% sure about that one. lmfao, he's actually the best person in your life rn
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Apr 11, 2019 17:35
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Hell Yeah posted:i know these two guys from like high school and just started hanging with them again a few years ago. i go over there house once every like 2-3 weeks. they're both around my age (in their 30s) and one is unemployed and the other is a waiter and basically they just smoke weed all day every day and talk about how everything is bullshit and the world is unfair and it's impossible to succeed. also one of them is a qanon conspiracy theorist and the other one is the type of guy who used to win a lot of fights, so he talks about that all the time. Hmm we like it. So, who were you thinking about to play the leads?
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Apr 11, 2019 17:52
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I should be cleaning the house but instead I'm day drinking and playing videogames like a piece of poo poo
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Apr 11, 2019 18:01
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A Fancy Hat posted:Sadly, my only hope is that he fails upwards back into another VP position or something similar. Wow this dude sounds like an idiot. Usually people will quit and look for an executive position at a different company rather than take a demotion, especially a big demotion like that.
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Apr 11, 2019 18:02
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