Splatmaster posted:

I read a tweet earlier this week that said "redacted due to politics is such a homophobe he eats his hot dogs sideways" and I lol'd welp that's my contribution and thanks

vanisher posted:

Jedrick posted:

https://youtu.be/JcniyQYFU6M

Barking Gecko posted:

Attempting to use the power of the state to make something illegal simply because you don't like it is wrong.

Jedrick posted:

yo, don't make me go get the mayo

Barking Gecko posted:

Oh my. Playing the religion card in an attempt to justify your arbitrary and unsupportable dislike for ketchup. Hands off my hot dog!

vanisher posted:

prepuce repurposed posted:

I'll die in ur arms b/c u are correct here

Barking Gecko posted:

RIP Hamjobs. I will light a candle for you. Mustard and hot sauce are good on many things, but not hot dogs and french fries.

literally this big posted:

*rings in on Jeopardy*

I'll take Hot Dogs for $69

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

that being said, my ex-wife would eat a hot dog with nothing but mayonnaise on it which is the worst possible thing

Goons Are Great posted:

Given that hotdogs are sex, I wonder what dog sex is.

prepuce repurposed posted:

funny story: all my prison friends call me force meat

Luvcow posted:

in olden times, when most people were illiterate, shop owners would use pictures on their signs like an anvil for a blacksmith or a loaf of bread for a baker

vanisher posted:

vanisher posted:

sorry I derailed the hotdogs are sex thread

google THIS posted:

Here is the official hot dog/condiment matching tier list. This is for your basic hot dog dressing. If you're doing chili dogs or fancy artisan dogs with like a complete other meal being used as a topping things get more nuanced and beyond the scope of this post.

Questionable tier: The kind where the ingredients are so low quality they're not pink, or even uniformly the same shade of orange. Ex. gas station rotisseries and school stadiums where volunteer PTO moms are serving you even though they can't open a bun without ripping it. Ketchup is acceptable here simply because anything to make it more palatable is acceptable, but mustard would be better.

Aldi tier: The sad overly small generic dogs that cheap dads grill, or add on as an afterthought for the kids when they're primarily working on more adult fare like steaks. It's ok to put ketchup on these, but only because you're six. Still, why not try some mustard instead?

Microwave tier: Or even (shudder) cooked in water. Ketchup will not further compound your sin, but you know what would help? Mustard.

Grilled mid-level dogs: Now we're starting to talk. Time to put the ketchup away and maybe get out the relish, but really, mustard should be the centerpiece.

Nice dogs: All-beef, really substantial, not quite a sausage but no longer merely a dog. Better be hitting the mustard, and by this point you should have already kicked the mustard up a notch or two as well. The stuff that comes in packets and matches construction equipment will no longer suffice. Spicy brown at minimum.

German tier: Ketchup does not complement sauerkraut. Mustard does. 'nuff said.

prepuce repurposed posted:

trying to decide if this is an elaborate sex metaphor or not

canyoneer posted:

it's definitely a sex metaphor, because you're not getting it

xcheopis posted:

Hot dogs are boy sex, burgs are girl sex

alnilam posted:

Holy roller smacking two hot dogs together to show that HOT DOG was designed by GOD only to go in BUN

I roll my eyes and grab them and cut a slit down one of them, and place the other one into the slit, he is aghast, several people faint. Slowly, tearfully, he raises it to his mouth to try a bite

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

your move, athiests

Goons Are Great posted:

Hiding under the blanket as a teenager, dreaming of the very first hot dog with that one cute girl. Tomorrow I will ask her. Tomorrow.

But I never could. Until she got her first hot dog with Garry, the big, mean guy in the leather jacket. Playing dungeon & dragons taught me to handle pain, but it never could erase my hot dog dreams without hurting me.