Why does every video on Youtube look the same?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Why does every video on Youtube look the same?

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

redm posted:

TOP 10 reasons
to make a
TOP 10 video

A White Guy With Facial Hair Standing In Front Of A Mountain Of Childrens Toys: "How's it going YouTube, it's your boy SlappyPappySlaps here again with another heckin dank top 10 list so charge up your vapes and dab on them haters cuz were about to GET JUICY!!!"

[oversaturated airhorn noise accompanied by clipart of a fortnite character dabbing, followed by a jump cut]

NUMBER 10:

"All cell phones have things called 'full motion cameras' now. They used to be hard to operate and require study to understand the mechanisms of, but the process has been reduced to tapping your cheetoh covered thumbs on a screen a few times. Now, any rando with a need or want to film themselves talking about nothing can just do it without a second thought. I get sexually excited when strangers give me attention-

[jump cut to stage left camera]

"-Who doesn't, am I right?"

[distorted clip of a crowd of people yelling, followed by another jumpcut]

"-so why WOULDN'T I want to make a fool of myself for the chance to get some ad revenue money? The only problem is that I'm unfunny and have no real talents, which brings us right into..."

NUMBER 9:

"They're really easy to make. All I have to do is pick a subject and google some words to get pictures.

[points to left top corner of screen at slideshow of google image results]

Don't believe me? Try it yourself, libtard!"

NUMBER 8:

"Sans Undertale"

NUMBER 7:

"Hang on, I think I'm getting my scripts mixed up here uh..."

[flips through full color gloss mcu dojinshi with notes written in sharpie offscreen before glancing into camera nervously]

"...so uh the top 7 reason to make a top 10 video is uh..be-because 7... 8 9."

NUMBER 6:

"Hail Satan, my dark lord and master. He will rain blood upon these lands for a thousand years to pull christ from his throne. As we pray in his name, our mind and bodies shall become one to consume all life on earth. Vivat nisi unum solum."

NUMBER 5:

"Lists are subjective,and nobody agrees with anything. I can let users send death threats to each other in my comments section and casually feign ignorance to it with zero consequence. I'd use the phrase 'all press is good press' if I even knew what the hell a newspaper was, but its 2019! Who still reads print? Old people? I'm not old, you're old!"

NUMBER 4:

[cue sponsored advertisement for random product completely unrelated to the current subject or content providers channel with much higher production quality than the rest of the video]

NUMBER 3:

"We're only two spots away from reason number 1 in our top 10 reasons to make a top 10 video. If you've made it this far, get yourself some gamer fuel as a reward for a job well done. I hope I didn't accidentally use any slurs while recording this time because I'm sure as hell not doing it again."

NUMBER 2:

"Before we get to number 1, I'd like to say that if you've been enjoying this video, be sure to comment, subscribe and

because if you don't, I will find your pets and loving EAT THEM while you WATCH. I'm not even kidding, I know most of you little bastards just wait for me to show up in your list of recommended videos, and THAT ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH! Hurry up and click the bell while you're at it, dipshit! gently caress you!"

NUMBER 1:

"Well, it's been a long journey but we've finally made it, gamers. And now, the number 1 reason to make a top 10 video is..."

[drumroll]

"It's the money. Formats like this are fast-to-make and easy-to-exploit. When something simple enough to be quickly replicated falls through the pipeline, the armies of the bland and uninteresting will flock in droves to get a piece of that sweet revenue pie until the well dries up and there's absolutely nothing you can do to ever stop us. Smell ya later, losers."

[rips open several million dollar monthly check while wandering off camera as screen fades to half assed outro sequence]

Dubbed Voiceover: "Do you want to make a top 10 list? What kind of top 10 list would you want to make? Leave a comment explaining your idea in vivid detail in the comments section below. If we like your idea, we might use it in a future episode to give you a boost of exposure. See you guys next time!"

Is there a way to get that post carved in stone? I want the remnants of civilisation in 10000 years to know just how sucky we had it.

E: :synpa:

# ? Apr 26, 2019 14:19

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# ? May 5, 2024 10:03

Twelve Batmans: Dec 24, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Lol post your suggested lists no editing.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 14:19

AstroWhale: Mar 28, 2009

I always wanted to know what nerdy white guys watch on Youtube.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 14:50

gleebster: Dec 16, 2006; Only a howler; Pillbug

scott zoloft posted:

I like to watch david murray restore old commodores

I didn't know Lionel Ritchie was broken. :dadjoke:

# ? Apr 26, 2019 15:02

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

redm posted:

TOP 10 reasons
to make a
TOP 10 video

A White Guy With Facial Hair Standing In Front Of A Mountain Of Childrens Toys: "How's it going YouTube, it's your boy SlappyPappySlaps here again with another heckin dank top 10 list so charge up your vapes and dab on them haters cuz were about to GET JUICY!!!"

[oversaturated airhorn noise accompanied by clipart of a fortnite character dabbing, followed by a jump cut]

NUMBER 10:

"All cell phones have things called 'full motion cameras' now. They used to be hard to operate and require study to understand the mechanisms of, but the process has been reduced to tapping your cheetoh covered thumbs on a screen a few times. Now, any rando with a need or want to film themselves talking about nothing can just do it without a second thought. I get sexually excited when strangers give me attention-

[jump cut to stage left camera]

"-Who doesn't, am I right?"

[distorted clip of a crowd of people yelling, followed by another jumpcut]

"-so why WOULDN'T I want to make a fool of myself for the chance to get some ad revenue money? The only problem is that I'm unfunny and have no real talents, which brings us right into..."

NUMBER 9:

"They're really easy to make. All I have to do is pick a subject and google some words to get pictures.

[points to left top corner of screen at slideshow of google image results]

Don't believe me? Try it yourself, libtard!"

NUMBER 8:

"Sans Undertale"

NUMBER 7:

"Hang on, I think I'm getting my scripts mixed up here uh..."

[flips through full color gloss mcu dojinshi with notes written in sharpie offscreen before glancing into camera nervously]

"...so uh the top 7 reason to make a top 10 video is uh..be-because 7... 8 9."

NUMBER 6:

"Hail Satan, my dark lord and master. He will rain blood upon these lands for a thousand years to pull christ from his throne. As we pray in his name, our mind and bodies shall become one to consume all life on earth. Vivat nisi unum solum."

NUMBER 5:

"Lists are subjective,and nobody agrees with anything. I can let users send death threats to each other in my comments section and casually feign ignorance to it with zero consequence. I'd use the phrase 'all press is good press' if I even knew what the hell a newspaper was, but its 2019! Who still reads print? Old people? I'm not old, you're old!"

NUMBER 4:

[cue sponsored advertisement for random product completely unrelated to the current subject or content providers channel with much higher production quality than the rest of the video]

NUMBER 3:

"We're only two spots away from reason number 1 in our top 10 reasons to make a top 10 video. If you've made it this far, get yourself some gamer fuel as a reward for a job well done. I hope I didn't accidentally use any slurs while recording this time because I'm sure as hell not doing it again."

NUMBER 2:

"Before we get to number 1, I'd like to say that if you've been enjoying this video, be sure to comment, subscribe and

because if you don't, I will find your pets and loving EAT THEM while you WATCH. I'm not even kidding, I know most of you little bastards just wait for me to show up in your list of recommended videos, and THAT ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH! Hurry up and click the bell while you're at it, dipshit! gently caress you!"

NUMBER 1:

"Well, it's been a long journey but we've finally made it, gamers. And now, the number 1 reason to make a top 10 video is..."

[drumroll]

"It's the money. Formats like this are fast-to-make and easy-to-exploit. When something simple enough to be quickly replicated falls through the pipeline, the armies of the bland and uninteresting will flock in droves to get a piece of that sweet revenue pie until the well dries up and there's absolutely nothing you can do to ever stop us. Smell ya later, losers."

[rips open several million dollar monthly check while wandering off camera as screen fades to half assed outro sequence]

Dubbed Voiceover: "Do you want to make a top 10 list? What kind of top 10 list would you want to make? Leave a comment explaining your idea in vivid detail in the comments section below. If we like your idea, we might use it in a future episode to give you a boost of exposure. See you guys next time!"

# ? Apr 26, 2019 15:14

Pursued by bees: Jan 1, 2013; heartful of fire
with no one left to tell

redm posted:

Vivat nisi unum solum

so wtf does this mean

if I google that poo poo with quotation marks it gives exactly one hit and its this thread

# ? Apr 26, 2019 15:22

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

# ? Apr 26, 2019 15:30

EL BROMANCE: Jun 10, 2006; COWABUNGA DUDES!
🥷🐢😬

Shadow0 posted:

I don't really understand how this seems to happen to people. My suggestion box usually has a ton of things that I want to watch in it. It's got me down pretty well. ...Almost too well...

Same. And I give it an excuse to flood me with crap because I subscribe to game-y channels despite not really having a huge amount of interest in modern gaming, and somehow I�m fine.

Never get the right wing, or furry, or other weird internet poo poo recommended.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 15:31

Lambert: Apr 15, 2018; by Fluffdaddy; Fallen Rib

It's probably people that watch these weird right-wing channels because they are obsessed with them, but then complain about being recommended more weird right-wingers.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 15:32

Shadow0: Jun 16, 2008; If to live in this style is to be eccentric, it must be confessed that there is something good in eccentricity.; Grimey Drawer

AstroWhale posted:

I always wanted to know what nerdy white guys watch on Youtube.

Which suggestions makes you think I'm white? I'm genuinely curious what you're insinuating.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 15:36

Twelve Batmans: Dec 24, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Shadow0 posted:

Which suggestions makes you think I'm white? I'm genuinely curious what you're insinuating.

Don't even take that lame bait, man. You're probably arguing with some sad self-hating white person lol.

That said, my youtube is full of weird and terrible poo poo, but I have friends who intentionally send me awful things to look/laugh at/be horrified by. So yeah I've got dumb memes, various independent news/talking heads, gun mis-firing videos, furry youtube community drama commentary, Contrapoints, and various other garbage in my recommended lists. Are other people's lists regularly curated and immaculately trimmed?

# ? Apr 26, 2019 15:42

Tears In A Vial: Jan 13, 2008

I hate that thing where the just cut constantly. You're just sitting in front of a computer in your mom's house, just learn your lines.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 15:58

crabcakes dogg: Aug 8, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

Channels that are cool:
- RLM
- LGR
- that one where the dude takes busted up hot wheels and restores them
- that Canadian that makes depression-era recipes
- Brandon Perna (thats good spoorrrts)
- ???

# ? Apr 26, 2019 16:08

Do it ironically: Jul 13, 2010; by Pragmatica

The only YouTube anyone should ever watch is steve1989MREinfo, and maybe streetbeefs

# ? Apr 26, 2019 16:11

KakerMix: Apr 8, 2004; 8.2 M.P.G.

You don't allow YouTube to recommend anything to you. I got all that poo poo blocked and it owns. I do not know what YouTube recommends me because I can't see it :colbert:

# ? Apr 26, 2019 16:14

Mooey Cow: Jan 27, 2018; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Pillbug

I can't believe HowToBasic is still going, but that's good because you know every day some kind of person trying to make a food will stumble upon one of his insane videos and then think twice before trying to learn things from youtube again.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 16:18

Twelve Batmans: Dec 24, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

crabcakes dogg posted:

Channels that are cool:
- RLM
- LGR
- that one where the dude takes busted up hot wheels and restores them
- that Canadian that makes depression-era recipes
- Brandon Perna (thats good spoorrrts)
- ???

Decino is a cool guy with a Spanish accent who talks about the finer points of DOOM all day

Grand Illusions is a delightful old British(?) man who shows off and explains old/gimmick toys.

Drue Langlois makes hilarious animated videos with good goofy dialogue and cartoonish premises. I recommend either watching Princess Punchalot or any of his Staying Positive In the Apocalypse shorts.

JackStauber makes amazing music and claymation shorts with a nice old timey feeling to them.

Commentiquette is a goon who makes good funny videos about everything and is great at surrealist humor.

Whang! is a great dude to find out about old internet poo poo/popular media stuff.

Twelve Batmans fucked around with this message at 16:34 on Apr 26, 2019

# ? Apr 26, 2019 16:20

redm: Feb 20, 2016; Sugartime Jones

Pursued by bees posted:

so wtf does this mean

if I google that poo poo with quotation marks it gives exactly one hit and its this thread

I tried to use english to latin google-translate for the phrase "Long live the singularity." and that was the closest equivalent it came up with.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 16:24

Ocean Book: Sep 27, 2010; - hi

i hate that i can watch videos online < :mad:

# ? Apr 26, 2019 16:43

redm: Feb 20, 2016; Sugartime Jones

Ocean Book posted:

i hate that i can watch videos online <>

# ? Apr 26, 2019 18:09

ass cobra: May 28, 2004; by Azathoth

crabcakes dogg posted:

Channels that are cool:
- RLM
- LGR
- that one where the dude takes busted up hot wheels and restores them
- that Canadian that makes depression-era recipes
- Brandon Perna (thats good spoorrrts)
- ???

8 bit guy

# ? Apr 26, 2019 18:16

Laterite: Mar 14, 2007; It's Gutfest '89; Grimey Drawer

RegularCars
Babish
Rick Beato
Dankmus
Townsends
Lindsay Ellis

# ? Apr 26, 2019 18:18

AstroWhale: Mar 28, 2009

Twelve Batmans posted:

Don't even take that lame bait, man. You're probably arguing with some sad self-hating white person lol.

That said, my youtube is full of weird and terrible poo poo, but I have friends who intentionally send me awful things to look/laugh at/be horrified by. So yeah I've got dumb memes, various independent news/talking heads, gun mis-firing videos, furry youtube community drama commentary, Contrapoints, and various other garbage in my recommended lists. Are other people's lists regularly curated and immaculately trimmed?

I have been owned. And with my reccomendations I will continue being owned.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 18:22

crabcakes dogg: Aug 8, 2017; by Fluffdaddy

rear end cobra posted:

8 bit guy

oh yeah also techmoan

# ? Apr 26, 2019 19:08

Pursued by bees: Jan 1, 2013; heartful of fire
with no one left to tell

How has nobody mentioned Simone Giertz and the primitive technology guy yet? The latter especially is really refreshing (for lack of a better word) to watch since he doesn't talk at all, just does his thing

makes you wonder where he is on the autism spectrum, though

# ? Apr 26, 2019 19:19

Xarthor: Nov 11, 2003; Need Ink or Toner for
Your Printer?
Check out my
Thread in SA-Mart!; Lipstick Apathy

FactsAreUseless posted:

Is Youtube the worst website on the internet? Yes, of course it is.

I think Reddit currently holds that title.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 19:27

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

My six year old watches my youtube account so it's all slime videos and every thumbnail has people doing this :imunfunny:

face

# ? Apr 26, 2019 19:33

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

All left-tubers are desperately trying to be Contrapoints with their lighting and costumes now, it's kinda cute.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 19:42

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA

Octav1us Kitten is objectively peak YouTube retro gamer because she somehow makes every video equally about mental illness and 1980s British computers. And yes I am saying that as a pure compliment.

Her thumbnails still look fairly similar to the others though now that you mention it

# ? Apr 26, 2019 20:08

Mooey Cow: Jan 27, 2018; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Pillbug

Finally, Youtube has figured out what I want

# ? Apr 26, 2019 22:28

Lambert: Apr 15, 2018; by Fluffdaddy; Fallen Rib

AstroWhale posted:

I have been owned. And with my reccomendations I will continue being owned.

Please enable dark mode.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 23:16

Relayer: Sep 18, 2002

There's some kind of youtube thumbnail graphic app or program or something. I've noticed a couple channels I follow have exactly the same font\size\coloring in every thumbnail, and they're all titled in the exact same way.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 23:38

Relayer: Sep 18, 2002

It's also very important to have some kind of overly expressive face and hand gesture in every thumbnail

# ? Apr 26, 2019 23:41

Extra Large Marge: Jan 21, 2004; Fun Shoe

Relayer posted:

It's also very important to have some kind of overly expressive face and hand gesture in every thumbnail

They remind me of the cartoon character art on children's cereal boxes.

# ? Apr 26, 2019 23:54

Dr. Gojo Shioji: Apr 22, 2004

Relayer posted:

It's also very important to have some kind of overly expressive face and hand gesture in every thumbnail

Doug "I'm a worthless shitstain" Demuro

# ? Apr 27, 2019 00:26

buglord: Jul 31, 2010; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!; Buglord

Extra Large Marge posted:

They remind me of the cartoon character art on children's cereal boxes.

I really wanna see the statistics on this sorta stuff. Stuff like: Character with teeth exposed attracts 5% more buyers, buyers respond less to a gendered mascot vs an androgynous one, character must be holding cereal in order to gain 10% more sales. I feel like all this stuff is written down and compiled somewhere, then maybe recalibrated every few years as interests change.

# ? Apr 27, 2019 00:29

Mr Luxury Yacht: Apr 16, 2012

Do it ironically posted:

The only YouTube anyone should ever watch is steve1989MREinfo, and maybe streetbeefs

If watching a man eat canned food from the 60s with the same earnest joy of a child opening a Sega Genesis at Christmas is wrong, I don't want to be right.

# ? Apr 27, 2019 00:33

redm: Feb 20, 2016; Sugartime Jones

The only YouTube I still watch is gaming garbage (not joking)

# ? Apr 27, 2019 01:08

Bronze Fonz: Feb 14, 2019

redm posted:

TOP 10 reasons
to make a
TOP 10 video

I just hope you realize how :perfect:

this was.

Oh.
Wait.

You forgot the "Don't forget to subscribe!!"

# ? Apr 27, 2019 01:11

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# ? May 5, 2024 10:03

Do it ironically: Jul 13, 2010; by Pragmatica

Mr Luxury Yacht posted:

If watching a man eat canned food from the 60s with the same earnest joy of a child opening a Sega Genesis at Christmas is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Amen

# ? Apr 27, 2019 01:14

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Why does every video on Youtube look the same?

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