vanisher posted:

Id like bean please

"You want cheese on it?"

Does it come with cheese or are you upselling my bean

google THIS posted:

-- egg sandwich with way too much ranch dressing
-- sausage and egg sandwich with way too much ranch dressing
-- chicken on a biscuit with, you guessed it
-- bacon and egg sandwich with...wait that not an egg it's just congealed ranch dressing
-- breakfast "go wrap" (rolled tortilla filled with ranch dressing and only ranch dressing, just like the lunch version except the breakfast version has a crude drawing of a sunrise on the paper wrapper)
-- 100 sassy tweets about how Wendy's ranch dressing is fresh never frozen (low fat option)
-- seafood breakfast "go wrap" (rolled tortilla filled with tartar sauce and ranch dressing in equal parts, for Lent)

Honestly Wendy's and Hidden Valley need to team up

Manifisto posted:

wendy's breakfast menu includes a buttery belgian waffle topped with strawberries and real whipped cream, decadent brioche french toast with house made blueberry maple syrup, farm fresh organic eggs poached in a rich spicy salsa topped with cotija, and artisanal niman ranch breakfast sausage with hash browns crisped in duck fat

your breakfast menu, on the other hand, consists of wonder bread with or without velveeta

we're proud of wendy's breakfast menu and sorry we can't offer it directly to you

vanisher posted:

On-fire demon: look we just dont know if the market conditions warrant a breakfast menu at this time. Our guest research shows 19-22 year olds are the primary demographic and the sales trends across 33 markets are leaning heavily to value choices.

Dave Thomas: I dont understand, do you need another one of my daughters?

cda posted:

The pain in those eyes is just crazy. Wendy, honey, I'm sorry this happened to you

cda posted:

Dave Thomas obviously sold the soul of his daughter to a demon who trapped her in a hell dimension where every second is a billion years of torture, and he didn't even ask the demon to make a breakfast menu. smdh

Manifisto posted:

try our new carcosa cola!

Barking Gecko posted:

The Nyarlathotep crawling chaos croissant
The Shub-Niggurath special breakfast "It's one in a thousand!"

Manifisto posted:

super size your meal to get extra tentacle

Manifisto posted:

the "dolorous meals" are packed into a child-sized non-euclidean box from which the mindless piping of flutes drifts insolently

Barking Gecko posted:

When the slumbering Old Ones awaken, they'll be coming to Burger King for breakfast!

Goons Are Great posted:

Glad to know we at least have a proper weapon against them if needed.
Thank you wen'dys

Gross Dude posted:

Only one restaurant satisfy the many mouths of Yog Sothoth.

Manifisto posted:

google THIS posted:

As if the endless soup/salad debate weren't contentious enough, now apparently any random food item with an egg slapped on top is breakfast.

Manifisto posted:

ben & jerry's new benedict breakfast sundae is really taking off, I think it's the hollandaise

google THIS posted:

Jerry: I cannot believe that you are eating a pastrami on rye for breakfast.

George: (holds a finger up) Pastrami on rye...

Both: ...with an egg.

Jerry: I know, I know, but it still seems...

Waitress: Good morning, sirs, would either of you care for more ranch dressing?

George: Oh no, I couldn't possibly...oh.

(The waitress has already topped George off without waiting to hear his response. She leaves as George stares dejectedly at his brimming mug of ranch dressing)

George: You see what I mean, Jerry? Every time!

(This is the running joke the characters have been discussing the whole episode)

vanisher posted:

Kramer: Kraft is a canadian company Jerry

Jerry: Yeah, so?

K: dont you get it? They are slowly taking over! Through our love of Ranch!

Jerry: dont be absurd

(Throughout the episode Jerry notices himself saying 'eh' more and being generally more polite, and begins to believe Kramers story. Kramer and Newman later in the episode are seen running a Kraft semi-truck off the road with Newman's postal truck)

Manifisto posted:

at a fancy michelin-star restaurant you are served a plate with a raw egg and a bottle of hidden valley ranch. this "deconstructed breakfast" sets you back $55 plus tax and tip.

vanisher posted:

Please try our new ranch on ranch ranch! We start off with our finest ranch, a creamy blend of the most basic ingredients, and add to that more delicious ranch, all topped off with zesty crisp ranch. For a limited time also enjoy our new AM ranch, exclusive to our late nite menu. It's more delicious ranch in our ez-eats Gotta Have It food pouch with wide flow gamERZ lid, chug the whole thing on youtube and we will enter you in our limited time drawing for a gold spraypainted Xbox 360 controller.

google THIS posted:

A commercial consisting of a montage of fat guys in headsets chugging ranch dressing, but it performs poorly because it presents no new information.