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vanisher

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vanisher

Wendys breakfast menu:

- Egg
- Chicken
- Bean
- Rice

"Uh yeah I ordered rice but where is it its not in my bag"

"How hard did you look, its really small"

vanisher

Id like bean please

"You want cheese on it?"

Does it come with cheese or are you upselling my bean

vanisher

My egg is delicious how's your egg

"Oh I save the egg for last" (slowly chewing my one piece of rice between my molars)

vanisher

google THIS posted:

-- egg sandwich with way too much ranch dressing
-- sausage and egg sandwich with way too much ranch dressing
-- chicken on a biscuit with, you guessed it
-- bacon and egg sandwich with...wait that not an egg it's just congealed ranch dressing
-- breakfast "go wrap" (rolled tortilla filled with ranch dressing and only ranch dressing, just like the lunch version except the breakfast version has a crude drawing of a sunrise on the paper wrapper)
-- 100 sassy tweets about how Wendy's ranch dressing is fresh never frozen (low fat option)
-- seafood breakfast "go wrap" (rolled tortilla filled with tartar sauce and ranch dressing in equal parts, for Lent)

Honestly Wendy's and Hidden Valley need to team up

vanisher

lmao go wrap

vanisher

Manifisto posted:

wendy's breakfast menu includes a buttery belgian waffle topped with strawberries and real whipped cream, decadent brioche french toast with house made blueberry maple syrup, farm fresh organic eggs poached in a rich spicy salsa topped with cotija, and artisanal niman ranch breakfast sausage with hash browns crisped in duck fat

your breakfast menu, on the other hand, consists of wonder bread with or without velveeta

we're proud of wendy's breakfast menu and sorry we can't offer it directly to you

lol

vanisher

Ah! The new breakfast menu? Yes we have a wide selection of flavors. I highly recommend 'bistro omelette' from the 'light and fresh' section. It's a wonderful way to start your day! As you chew the flavored multivitamin gummy make sure you slowly draw air in over your tongue to unlock the full experience. You'll find notes of sharp cheddar cheese, creamy avocado, and smokey bacon.

vanisher fucked around with this message at 18:51 on Apr 29, 2019



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

vanisher

cda posted:

Dave Thomas obviously sold the soul of his daughter to a demon who trapped her in a hell dimension where every second is a billion years of torture, and he didn't even ask the demon to make a breakfast menu. smdh

On-fire demon: look we just dont know if the market conditions warrant a breakfast menu at this time. Our guest research shows 19-22 year olds are the primary demographic and the sales trends across 33 markets are leaning heavily to value choices.

Dave Thomas: I dont understand, do you need another one of my daughters?

vanisher

Luvcow posted:

breakfast memories: getting my live chicken in a bag for $2.99 and only a cup for water then slyly going to the soda fountain to fill it up with ranch dressing

vanisher

google THIS posted:

As if the endless soup/salad debate weren't contentious enough, now apparently any random food item with an egg slapped on top is breakfast.



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

vanisher

I'll take the recycled tire and egg croissant sandwich please

"With cheese?"

vanisher

google THIS posted:

Jerry: I cannot believe that you are eating a pastrami on rye for breakfast.

George: (holds a finger up) Pastrami on rye...

Both: ...with an egg.

Jerry: I know, I know, but it still seems...

Waitress: Good morning, sirs, would either of you care for more ranch dressing?

George: Oh no, I couldn't possibly...oh.

(The waitress has already topped George off without waiting to hear his response. She leaves as George stares dejectedly at his brimming mug of ranch dressing)

George: You see what I mean, Jerry? Every time!

(This is the running joke the characters have been discussing the whole episode)

Kramer: Kraft is a canadian company Jerry

Jerry: Yeah, so?

K: dont you get it? They are slowly taking over! Through our love of Ranch!

Jerry: dont be absurd

(Throughout the episode Jerry notices himself saying 'eh' more and being generally more polite, and begins to believe Kramers story. Kramer and Newman later in the episode are seen running a Kraft semi-truck off the road with Newman's postal truck)

vanisher

Marketing guy: hear me out, what if we serve actual pig tails

vanisher

Please try our new ranch on ranch ranch! We start off with our finest ranch, a creamy blend of the most basic ingredients, and add to that more delicious ranch, all topped off with zesty crisp ranch. For a limited time also enjoy our new AM ranch, exclusive to our late nite menu. It's more delicious ranch in our ez-eats Gotta Have It food pouch with wide flow gamERZ lid, chug the whole thing on youtube and we will enter you in our limited time drawing for a gold spraypainted Xbox 360 controller.

vanisher

Wait, Wendy's has bowls now?

"yeah but its just a bowl full of ranch"

Wait some of these say chicken....

"its a bowl shaped like a chicken"



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

vanisher

Chicken Bowl - Ranch Fiesta

vanisher

What was that movie with the wacky experimental health treatments run by Mr. Kellogg and the guy gets enimas and stuff and falls in love with that pale chick. That but instead of Mr.Kellogg its Mr. Thomas talking about stool color and consistancy and comparing it to ranch.

vanisher

One sexy ranch bacon love wrap please

"Sir, this is a Wendy's drive through"

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vanisher

japanese wendy's really liked the breakfast menu cause it features ranch, which often contains a lot of mayo.



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

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