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the burritos at chipotle are good but so expensive, when I have a giant hunger I want a GIANT burrito, so I shrink myself some (after paying of course, I don't want them to catch on) and suddenly I'm getting way more burrito for my money |
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May 17, 2019 22:06
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me at the airport: it is taking loving FOREVER to get to my gate, time to move it a bit closer *zzap* that's better, now for something to read while I wait . . . ah goddammit, I shrunk the hudson news, the magazines are all tiny now
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May 17, 2019 22:07
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Manifisto posted:me at the airport: it is taking loving FOREVER to get to my gate, time to move it a bit closer Shrink the planet, one step and you're across the ocean. Probably need to hold your breath or wear a space suit though, which might be a pain. |
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May 17, 2019 22:21
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repeatedly shrinking the bully's arm so his fist smacks into his face over and over again: no YOU stop hitting yourself |
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May 17, 2019 22:24
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shrinking my therapist because he keeps telling me to change "no, you grow as a person!!!" |
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May 17, 2019 22:26
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take the moon posted:shrinking my therapist because he keeps telling me to change |
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May 17, 2019 22:32
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saving valuable money at the barber's by giving my hair a little "shrink trim" every morning. gotta watch out though, if you accidentally shrink part of your forehead you're going to have to shrink it on the other side to even things out |
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May 17, 2019 22:34
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shrinking the numbers on the speedometer of my wife's boyfriend's porsche, maybe he'll misread it and get a speeding ticket one day |
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May 17, 2019 22:41
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shrinking the line at trader joe's doesn't actually get me to the cashier any faster, but at least it gets me next to the cheese section quickly so I can pick up the last couple of items I need |
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May 17, 2019 23:16
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at first I read: "drink" ray and I was like, whoa, but then I read: "shrek" ray and I was like, oh drat, but it's actually shrink ray and I don't have ideas for that one.
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May 17, 2019 23:31
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:at first I read: "drink" ray and I was like, whoa, but then I read: "shrek" ray and I was like, oh drat, but it's actually shrink ray and I don't have ideas for that one. I like the idea of a gun with a dial I can switch between "shrink" and "shrek" like maybe it's not a binary switch but instead it's fully adjustable, I could set it to 70% shrink and 30% shrek when the need arose
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May 17, 2019 23:36
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take the moon posted:shrinking my therapist because he keeps telling me to change |
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May 17, 2019 23:42
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Fitting my HOUSE in the overhead bin because gently caress the corporate world! I'm sleeping in my own bed, this flight. Using my own toilet. Smoking weed all throughout MY house, in YOUR overhead bin...
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 18, 2019 00:29
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So pumped about using ants as mount. Finally I can stab people by a venomous sting without having others assuming that I'm trying to have sex with them.
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May 18, 2019 00:42
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Shrinking myself because I didn't want those sour grapes, anyway
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 18, 2019 00:45
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in a fit of rage at my geometry homework I shrink the value of pi to exactly 3 |
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May 18, 2019 00:49
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Splatmaster posted:Fitting my HOUSE in the overhead bin because gently caress the corporate world! I'm sleeping in my own bed, this flight. Using my own toilet. Smoking weed all throughout MY house, in YOUR overhead bin... Goons Are Great posted:So pumped about using ants as mount. Finally I can stab people by a venomous sting without having others assuming that I'm trying to have sex with them. |
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May 18, 2019 00:55
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take the moon posted:shrinking my therapist because he keeps telling me to change Telling your friends that you're going to see your shrink and then laughing at the irony of it to the point that everyone gets really uncomfortable. |
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May 18, 2019 01:00
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This thread just reminded me of Harvey Birdman and Reducto and gently caress that was such a good show. |
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May 18, 2019 01:01
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gonna use the shrink ray on he dick so I can mock him, owning him greatly |
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May 18, 2019 01:02
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using the shrink ray on everyone else's rear end, so I am the only one with the big ol rear end |
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May 18, 2019 01:02
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@me strolls into tiffanys, shrink ray hidden in my coat pocket. I go straight up to the diamond jewelry counter and ask the lady for her most expensive item. me: oh hey isn't that beyonce? shopgirl: [turns head] . . . that's a man with a moustache me: my mistake. anyway how much did you say that diamond tiara was? shopgirl: it's, uh . . . actually I think there's been an error. me: what does it say? shopgirl: it says eleven cents me: I mean, that's the price, right? that's what it says? shopgirl: well that's what it says but I really don't think . . . [she runs the bar code through the computer several times, it keeps coming up $0.11] me: look lady I don't make the rules [under my breath] don't make me shrink your face |
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May 18, 2019 01:11
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Shrinking the laundry so I could run it all in one load, but I forgot I don't have a growth gun, so now I just have really small clothes. |
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May 18, 2019 07:04
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vanisher posted:Shrinking the laundry so I could run it all in one load, but I forgot I don't have a growth gun, so now I just have really small clothes. hey I can just shrink myself! wait now I need to shrink the laundry machine so I can reach in it. ugh now I need to shrink my clothes again to fit them in the smaller laundry machine |
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May 18, 2019 07:06
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shrinking myself so i can put a saddle on a jumping spider and getting chased around by a slightly larger jumping spider
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May 18, 2019 07:37
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cda, drunk: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES NO STAR WARS BABIES *zap* THERE, BABY CHEWBACCA *zzap* BABY PRINCESS LEIA, BAM *zorp* BABY HAN, HOPE THEY HAVE CARBONITE DIAPERS MOTHERFUCKER *zapp* THATS NO SPACE STATION, ITS A DING DONG
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May 18, 2019 08:31
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Telling the bartender "just one and done for me tonight!" as I shrink myself and dive into my glass of beer like a giant delicious bubbly swimming pool.
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May 18, 2019 12:23
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Finger Prince posted:Telling your friends that you're going to see your shrink and then laughing at the irony of it to the point that everyone gets really uncomfortable. His name happens to be Ray, too. Good times. |
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May 18, 2019 15:08
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Wife: Have you been playing with the shrink ray again? Me: (tiny plunger pinched between my thumb and forefinger, desperately trying to work my normal sized turd down the tiny toilet) Pssh, no! |
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May 18, 2019 15:24
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“I’m not owned! I’m not owned!” I continue to insist as I slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob
Pot Smoke Phoenix fucked around with this message at 15:30 on May 18, 2019 |
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May 18, 2019 15:27
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Using the shrink ray on my brother so I can play as Mario for once |
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May 18, 2019 15:31
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Splatmaster posted:“I’m not owned! I’m not owned!” I continue to insist as I slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob |
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May 18, 2019 16:51
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| The guys seemed really disappointed after I invited them over to check out my new shrink ray. I mean, who wouldn't want to instantly cover their house in clear plastic wrap? | |
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May 18, 2019 17:10
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I'm almost past the zoo exit when the security guard calls out: "sir . . . excuse me sir . . . is that a tiny ostrich in your pocket?" "no," I say, but of course it is. busted! the miniature ostrich is confiscated and the guard is about to let me go, when his eyes fixate on my crotch. I prepare to make a sarcastic comment but a tiny, high-pitched tiger roar undoes the whole gig.
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May 18, 2019 17:43
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I don't think anyone will be talking about the elephant in the room OR the 800 pound gorilla any more... I shrank them so they fell into the cracks!
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 18, 2019 18:52
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shrunj myself so my doctor stops telling me to lose weight |
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May 18, 2019 20:29
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my gut screams out a warning, but in the end my curiosity cannot be contained. I point the shrink ray at a mirror and pull the trigger. immediately the reflection zooms out. first I see my entire house, then the city I live in, then the continents and oceans. I keep going. planets and stars come into focus and recede; then it is galaxies, galactic clusters, superclusters. it is dizzying beyond belief but I keep my finger on the trigger. finally the whole of creation fits into the frame. it is a face, unimaginably vast: the face of god. "quit loving around with that thing," he snaps. |
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May 18, 2019 20:40
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Have you considered shrinking big Yoshi??? Woa thread synergy |
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May 18, 2019 22:29
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| kinda getting worried about what is going to happen when i get to microbe size but not enough so that i stop abusing the shrink ray, tho | |
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May 19, 2019 01:03
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| # ? May 2, 2024 17:53 |
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lol but posted:kinda getting worried about what is going to happen when i get to microbe size but not enough so that i stop abusing the shrink ray, tho just shrink the other microbes, you'll be good to go
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May 19, 2019 01:07
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