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prepuce repurposed posted:puttin out wasabi pigs in a blanket and a tall cold glass of mayo for ol' saint dick rn this is a family friendly holiday, please place a towel over your pigs in a blanket sir
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May 23, 2019 15:32
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JINGLE GLASS! JINGLE GLASS! SMASHING ALL THE WINDOWS! HAULING rear end REALLY FAST BEFORE THE COPS GET HERE! Dashing through the yard, Running across the grass, You can take your Greebas Tree And shove it up your JINGLE GLASS! JINGLE GLASS! SMASHING ALL THE WINDOWS! HAULING rear end REALLY FAST BEFORE THE COPS GET HERE! **drops a rotten egg I've been saving for quite some time now down the front of everyone's pants who reads this and then SMASHES the egg** https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 23, 2019 15:55
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Dear Diary, It's Day 6 on Naked and Afraid, and I'm naked. And afraid. You see, I foraged a dung beetle 3 days ago to give to my N&A partner on the show here for Greebmas morning, and we haven't had any food for in as many days. I'm so h u n g r y. I'm afraid I might eat the dung beetle and curse myself to 16 weeks of body odor for not giving a pressie on Greebmas Day. Do you think Greeb would understand? #WWGD https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 23, 2019 16:01
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What if Greeb was one of us? Just a stranger on the bus?
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May 23, 2019 16:09
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hamjobs posted:buying pre-rancid nutmeats is cheating imo but sometimes you just don't have 2 years to curse the nutmeats as they slowly bathe in a vat of their own mealy flesh-juices. I hate to admit it but sometimes I "cheat" as well  I have some "secret ingredients" that make it awful hard to tell though (assuming you are starting with a high-quality rancid nm). leave a glass of whole milk in the midday sun for a week, collect ONLY THE CLEAR LIQUID from the top. a scant tablespoon of that per pound of rnm. sprinkle in some earthworm castings, and right before you serve, a dash of clamato. swear to god, it doesn't sound like it should work but it does. |
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May 23, 2019 16:25
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Splatmaster posted:JINGLE GLASS! JINGLE GLASS! a classic . . . though as a kid my friends and I would take certain, er, liberties with the lyrics gram-gram heard us once and she was NOT amused
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May 23, 2019 16:30
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BYOBot posted:JINGLE GLASS! JINGLE GLASS! has anyone watered their junk room yet? i almost forgot last year, but i did manage to get one hell of a silver sliding |
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May 23, 2019 16:37
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Can't wait to go to the mall and get a picture of the kids sitting on Shmorble Klitz's nose. Last year they screamed for two hours straight as the nightmare hallucinations ravaged their tiny fragile minds, this year I'm hoping for less than an hour but you never know with kids, am I right? |
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May 23, 2019 16:40
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Manifisto posted:I hate to admit it but sometimes I "cheat" as well ugh, that's disgusting! i can't wait to try it! grandma's gonna HATE it!
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May 23, 2019 16:52
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Farecoal posted:has anyone watered their junk room yet? i almost forgot last year, but i did manage to get one hell of a silver sliding Thanks for the reminder! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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May 23, 2019 18:06
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Let's sing more carols to get ourselves in the Greebmas spirit O Greebmas hole O Greebmas hole I'm feeding you my grandma's meat pie, she's making you a sandwich O Greebmas hole O Greebmas hole A little while ago, we made it to a new home, The house was clean, The dog was barking like a wolf, and it was beautiful O Greebmas hole O Greebmas hole Well our little place was in hell, I mean hell was a nice place, But it was just too crowded O Greebmas hole O Greebmas hole I'd like to start again, I'd like to go up and shoot you out from the sky O Greebmas hole Well, in the dark, I can't see the bottom of hell, And I've got my gun and I'm going to shoot you O Greebmas hole O Greebmas hole O Greebmas hole O Greebmas hole O Greebmas hole O Greebmas hole The gun's in the glove box in there, And there's only one choice, You'll have to pull the trigger or I'm going to shoot you down |
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May 23, 2019 18:21
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google THIS posted:Let's sing more carols to get ourselves in the Greebmas spirit I'm feeling the Greebmas Spirit. |
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May 23, 2019 18:24
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google THIS posted:Let's sing more carols to get ourselves in the Greebmas spirit |
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May 23, 2019 18:25
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google THIS posted:Let's sing more carols to get ourselves in the Greebmas spirit GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:I'm feeling the Greebmas Spirit. |
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May 23, 2019 18:29
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google THIS posted:Let's sing more carols to get ourselves in the Greebmas spirit touching the spirit circle, representing the greebmas hole |
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May 23, 2019 18:33
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before we stomp and splash in the traditional greebmas chowder for seven days and six nights (all inclusive) beginning Friday, May 24pm at 9am, we should all agree on one thing: Greebma is the reason for the season Greebma is the reason your grandma is possessed by the pure and gentle spirit of flatulent rage; Greebma is the one who loves your urn of rancid nutmeats (sacks and also raisins for those of you who are poor and/or fuckin idiots); Greebma invented the upper decker and the hot pastrami on rye celebrate with Greebma in your heart, but not for very long, because embolisms are dangerous |
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May 23, 2019 18:37
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And so this is Greebmas, and what have you done? Another year over, and ia a different outlook. So far as I can tell, Greebmas will take place during the winter season on the west coast, which has an especially warm, cold, sandy area, and it is this time of year. The people on Greebmas will travel back through time to the spring solstice—which is why everyone will be wearing their clothes from back then, because it still is possible to dress from the spring before the Winter Solstice. This will be especially true of men and women, who will dress differently to different times and seasons of their life according to their own beliefs and customs—we'll see. What do you think will be the most interesting part of the event? Are we going to see some of your beloved characters from previous eras return? Or is this just about getting a glimpse at what comes after? You will definitely see some recognizable characters, too. What have you come up with so far? I'm working on a couple things that'll be released before Greebmas. These are: an "alternate history of the American revolution," which you'll be able to read from the POV of someone from a different time and And so this is Greebmas, and what have you done? Another year over, and you have come nowhere near having something to show for your labor. You've even stopped showing up for your day to day activities. I'll tell you something else, you've just gone on a killing spree, and have started stealing stuff from cars. Now you've started robbing banks. This is your second year doing this, your last year of being unemployed, and so the only thing left for now is to steal more items. When you see the way people are looking so desperate for the good life, you realize it's all you have left. When you think about the tribesmen that don't languish, you think of all the looters you have stolen from, and all the trouble you've put into this cause, you go about looting like a fool. What you have to realize is you've put your heart and soul into something that no one else cares about, and now you need to put all that behind you and do something to become famous. Don't talk all that crap about not wanting what you've got,
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May 23, 2019 18:41
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Stoner Sloth posted:And so this is Greebmas, and what have you done? Another year over, and ia a different outlook. So far as I can tell, Greebmas will take place during the winter season on the west coast, which has an especially warm, cold, sandy area, and it is this time of year. The people on Greebmas will travel back through time to the spring solstice—which is why everyone will be wearing their clothes from back then, because it still is possible to dress from the spring before the Winter Solstice. This will be especially true of men and women, who will dress differently to different times and seasons of their life according to their own beliefs and customs—we'll see. What do you think will be the most interesting part of the event? Are we going to see some of your beloved characters from previous eras return? Or is this just about getting a glimpse at what comes after? You will definitely see some recognizable characters, too. What have you come up with so far? I'm working on a couple things that'll be released before Greebmas. These are: an "alternate history of the American revolution," which you'll be able to read from the POV of someone from a different time and Canonical Greebmas truths |
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May 23, 2019 18:44
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this is how I like to get into the greeb spirit, tbqh
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May 23, 2019 19:36
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Manifisto posted:this is how I like to get into the greeb spirit, tbqh professionally installed hole, v nice but illegal in ten states. use caution comrade
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May 23, 2019 19:39
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Nutmeats spoiling on an open fire The cook at a small family farm in rural Alabama told The Independent that she'd had a fire in her oven - and found she had to open the door in what she thought was an attempt at rescuing chickens. The woman, who had had the oven turned on all morning, had turned the stove off at 6pm, which meant the oven was still on. She said: 'The stove is a metal thing so I wasn't able to raise a ladder up and take out the stove. The fire took hold but I managed to open the oven door and get the food out, but not before it blew the roof off the house!' A cook at a small family farm in rural Alabama told The Independent he'd had a fire in his oven and found he had to open the door in what he thought was an attempt at rescuing chickens The cook told the newspaper that her only response was open the oven door and get the food out but her only response was open the oven door and get the food out The door of a closed up barn, with smoke still pouring in Her fire in the oven was one of many things her family had been living through this summer |
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May 23, 2019 19:56
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I set up a bear trap in front of the door to catch any late-comers by surprise, is it going to far if I hide it under a blanket or a festively wrapped gift box? I don't want to RUIN the holiday spirit, just rip a hole in it's side and sink it. |
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May 23, 2019 19:56
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Splatmaster posted:I set up a bear trap in front of the door to catch any late-comers by surprise, is it going to far if I hide it under a blanket or a festively wrapped gift box? when I visited n'awlins, it was the local tradition to bake the bear trap into cakes that get shared throughout the greebmas season. getting served the piece with the bear trap is thought to be good luck in the coming year, especially if it snaps shut on your tongue
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May 23, 2019 20:01
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Grandma got pooped on by a donkey Limping home from our house Greebmas eve You can say there's no such thing as Schmorble But as for me and all your other gramps You're probably wondering If there's one thing you wouldn't wanna know We're gonna play in the snow like some kind of bacchanal I'd say I'd rather hear it all from one of my cousins We'll be getting back together sometime soon But before that we'd better get back to making love You could find us in a little village called Folly if you try Then how'd you know that's why I'm walking And if I've failed you I'm gonna go and make sure you never fail another day And if I fail again my heart will turn blue and I'll have gone on and on We'll spend the rest of our lives together but there was no time for that Now if you'll excuse me I'll play in the snow for hours Don't come looking for us. Don't come talking about how you're gonna miss me If you ever get tired of the same old poo poo Then you know I don't want you to leave me |
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May 23, 2019 20:05
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google THIS posted:Grandma got pooped on by a donkey Freezes my heart cold in my chest... Thank you for this **sniffs** |
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May 23, 2019 20:15
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Ted Turner colorized my favorite Greebmas movie of all time, "It's a Wonderless Life". My favorite scene is when George Barely finally realizes just how much better everyone, including himself, would be if he had never been born. After he gets his wish and has that wild bacchanal orgy with all the OTHER people who had never been born in graphic detail... Excuse me, I think have a pole to erect over a hole somewhere |
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May 23, 2019 20:21
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the first hoel, the grandmas did say was to certain poor sherpas in heels who were gay in heels they were gay having a peep at a freshly dug hoel that was so deep Hoel, Hoel, Hoel, Hoel born is the greebma of AOL  
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May 23, 2019 20:30
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Manifisto posted:this is how I like to get into the greeb spirit, tbqh nice hole, bet it's full of Grandma |
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May 23, 2019 20:33
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prepuce repurposed posted:the first hoel, the grandmas did say Blessed are the femme queens for they shall inherit the tent pole and ugly shovel |
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May 23, 2019 20:42
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I kind of liked the recent remake of The Scrinch, but really? Jennifer Lopez as the Ghost of Dat Greebmas rear end? A joke played out before it was even told, plus she's almost old enough to shove in a hole. |
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May 23, 2019 22:34
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Manifisto posted:this is how I like to get into the greeb spirit, tbqh
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May 23, 2019 22:39
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Greebmas is an inclusive holiday for everyone, including weird sitters. |
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May 24, 2019 01:16
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Except for putty. |
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May 24, 2019 01:16
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A List of Greebmas traditions: 1: Dig a beautiful hole. Not too shallow, now, or the Greebmas witches will know! 2: Build a bridge across a small stream. 3: Build a stone altar. They will be glad you did It! 4: Put up a tent inside a rock, or else they will have the nerve to come and look at it too! 7: Take a bath with the warm sun. (See #5 above) The Greebmas will think it's a nice way to have sex and it will bring them pleasure. 8: Clean your house with a stone shovel, then lay a bedroll for the cold night. 11: Have sex on a fire: The Greebmas enjoy making and selling things as decorations, gifts for the neighbors. The fire must be lit and it must be bright. Make sure the Greebma has a fire pit. 13: Have a party, like a wedding, and eat from cakes and meat. 14: Take pictures of the neighbors, and share them on social media. 17: They like to drink ice water, which is poured from a jar at the bottom of a hole. It helps to
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May 24, 2019 02:48
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:A List of Greebmas traditions: *frantically builds a tent inside a rock* I've already made plans for the rest but I don't want them to come back and look at it!!!! |
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May 24, 2019 04:08
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Traditional Greebmas Chowder Recipe: 1 Cup all-purpose flour 1/2 tsp. salt 1/4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper 1 Tbsp. cold water 1/2 cup light soy milk (plus more for thicker consistency) 1 Tbsp. white wine vinegar 1 Tbsp. hot water In a medium bowl, combine all the dry ingredients. Whisk the dry ingredients together and mix on medium to heavy speed until smooth and thoroughly incorporated, about 10 minutes. If the mixture seems too dry to handle, add a few tablespoons more of water to thin it out. Divide the mixture among 12 bowls. In each bowl, combine the Chowder with the chopped parsley. Refrigerate for at least an hour, before serving. The Chowder Recipe: 2 1/2 cups chopped parsley 1 tablespoon salt 1 1/8 cup water 2 Tbsp. soy milk Heat a medium-sized to large sauté pan (or heavy-bottomed skillet) over medium heat, and add 1 tsp. of oil to cook the parsley in. Cook for 1 to 1 1/2 minutes |
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May 24, 2019 04:09
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Rancid nutmeats garnish recipe: You can use raw walnuts, raw almonds or raw pistachios, but I prefer my rattle nuts. Here at my shop, we also use walnuts as a garnish with a mix of sauces; I will be adding them to my recipes soon as well. You are able to add anything from chopped nuts and raisins, to chopped pistachios and whole walnuts. You can also choose to use dried cranberries and fresh walnuts, if you like. To taste, add a few drops of your favorite red sweetener, or add a few more dried cranberries. 4. Use the crust to serve this recipe: Crumbles are so easy to roll out! I prefer to use the crumbs in my crust to wrap the sauce. Add 1 medium-sized rattle nut, chopped to remove some of the oil, and 2 pieces of almonds or pistachios. I usually make three small roll out rattle nuts, then use the top to make a layer. I'm always experimenting with how I can incorporate and balance my ingredients into my baked goods. To serve, serve it on toasted walnuts. They're delicious |
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May 24, 2019 04:11
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Greebmas Ice Water Recipe: Serve 8,000 3. Water from the sea 4. Milk 5. Eggs, or you can have frozen or brine eggs: 7,000 6. Fruit or vegetables: 4,000 7. Water 8. A few dishes of pasta 9. A few of the staples of Greek food 10. A good, affordable dinner 11. A good, affordable meal out 12. A good, affordable meal in the area 13. A nice homecoming dance party, if you can have it: 8,000 14. A nice wedding party, if you can have it: 12,000 15. A beautiful, large wedding, if you can do it: 14,000 |
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May 24, 2019 04:13
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Dance steps for the Greebmas waltz: Fade in into the crowd of young children singing, with the wind that blasts in your direction, as they dance to a high, mellow pitch. Beneath a massive, towering curtain of orange and yellow, all dressed in their best Disney Disney princess regalia, some children run wild, grabbing all the items of their toy bags, from whatever little things they can find in their pockets. The rest of the crowd, who are still in their costume and with their hands bound behind their backs, stand still and stare into the crowd of thousands of laughing children. "I'm dancing, baby, dancing to Walt Disney, Walt Disney!" The last step is for the kids to walk away from the crowd and head home. There might be a few who just decide to sit on their own and stare at the crowd. But most of the time, the kids decide that if they want to go home and sit on one of our chairs next to our couch next to a Disney princess, then they might as well play with our toys and enjoy the evening. |
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May 24, 2019 04:15
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| # ? May 3, 2024 14:24 |
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smdh at disney's commercialization of greebmas. back in my day we didn't need to put Mickey ears on our tentpoles 
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May 24, 2019 04:27
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