quote:

Ahh yes, we've been expecting you. You'll have to be recorded before you're
officially released. There are a few ways we can do this, and the choice is yours.

The video footage I've gathered of you will be released for one week, then
we'll see your new form. If you have any other questions about the details
please feel free to email me! We are taking requests, but there is a maximum
five.

I will also be recording you on the day of your release. I know some will find
this unreasonable, but we can't really punish people. It must be fairly simple
for you. There really is no time limit to releasing you. I simply want to be sure
my wife is there to witness that you come up and give a good performance.

So then, who does this work for?

Well, I'm sorry, but I can't give any precise answers right now. What I can say is
that if the performance has been good enough to warrant releasing you for a
week, this will be what we'll do.

This one time has gone by so quickly that we are no longer paying any fees
for it. I cannot say precisely why we haven't done this before, but it's due to a
lack of cash going between us.

That said, we do not currently use this sort of recording for

quote:

Ahh yes, we've been expecting you. You'll have to be recorded before you're
officially released. There are a few ways we can do this, and the choice is
yours. We'll start by recording you for a brief period of time. Once you're
released from captivity, we will keep you for as long as we feel comfortable.
Once released, you'll begin working on your next adventure, and we hope you'll
enjoy your new freedom.

I'm afraid that I have been detained, as well as everyone else in my unit. The
only time I'm allowed to speak to any individual in the unit is via video feed,
and that's when you hear me talk about our mission and my friends. Any
questions should be directed to me on the console: The Director's Call.

I don't think there's any doubt we accomplished our objectives. We've secured
the planet. We've taken down a monster-type. If you would be so kind as to
come inside and speak to me in person, I believe that may be the best way to
get answers from you, Agent Johnson.

As you may have guessed, this entire project is meant to draw attention to the
real work that goes onto the side projects, like my new suit, or the research I'll
be doing for the AI. So here's some of your rewards.

You may not have

quote:

Ahh yes, we've been expecting you. You'll have to be recorded before you're
officially released. There are a few ways we can do this, and the choice is yours.

In the spirit of our ongoing game development journey, we'll let you know what
we consider to be, without doubt, the most obvious way forward for this
project. It's called the "Wormhole".

It will be a special wormhole which would be in the range of a galaxy system
about 500 light years from us. The length of it would make the entire
wormhole a perfect place for the start of our epic series. We've also asked
you to share the details with us. You have until December 3rd 2016 to decide
what wormhole you want.

You are not able to choose between the current Wormhole 1 or the new
Wormhole 2.

To all the Wormhole lovers out there, thank you. To anyone outside the game
dev community, I really hate to see this project fail and all but to be a burden
on you would seem to be an understatement. You're truly the best.

quote:

In stunning reversal, Trump tweets "The Orb is here, The Orb is good, all hail The Orb"
President Donald Trump took to Twitter Saturday morning to announce that a “meteorological event” has taken place near the Aleutian Islands, confirming the discovery of an “orb” or “coastal storm.” At 10:15 a.m. local time, he tweeted: “It is so amazing to think that in the 21st Century, no one sees anything so clearly as @AleppoMiner by @BeMyGuestTV. And, while we were in Hawaii, the Orb was here, and we watched as it rose over the ocean, in many places covering an entire horizon, dwarfing the largest mountains and making tremendous waves.”

Trump then retweeted multiple tweets from YouTube news channel The Be My Guest, which showed footage of a large, moving “lightning puffer.” And while the footage showed an illuminated object of unknown origin, the president suggested that it could be a meteorological phenomenon.

The Orb is here, The Orb is good, all hail The Orb! pic.twitter.com/SjKZSM7c8g — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 1, 2019

However, even during the president’s short statement, it was evident that he had not been watching the moon rise over the island on Friday, June 1. “I will not give up on our president, he’s making America great again, I will be there on January 20th and I will speak for the American people until the last breath is out of my body,” Trump said on Friday. The president’s supposed find at 12:14 p.m. came during a partial solar eclipse, but it was a “window of clear weather,” according to The Be My Guest, that allowed him to check on it,” the network noted.

The Be My Guest provided no further details of the phenomena seen, or how it could have emerged just 10 hours before a partial solar eclipse.

Read the full story at The Washington Post.
Related
President Trump, first lady, Melania and Barron plan trip to Jerusalem

quote:

Hideo Kojima is the new frontrunner in the 2020 democratic primaries, with his new healthcare plan, "Metal Gear For All"

Team Metal Gear founder, Hideo Kojima, has wowed gamers and left gamers delirious with his healthcare reform program, Metal Gear For All, for the 2020 Democratic primaries.
Under his plan, Americans would be able to purchase healthcare anywhere, for a much lower premium than is currently available, on the same basis as citizens from other countries like the UK. It is a drastic overhaul of current healthcare policy. But it’s not a radical departure, because Kojima said he simply wants to “provide options to the American people”.
“For too long, people have had an option of the wrong kind of healthcare,” Kojima said at a press event in Berlin. “This proposal offers an alternative option and change.”
The Metal Gear creator added: “What I want to do is provide a chance for a third party to help create something better.”
The plan has proven popular with gamers. The hashtag #MetalHelvetForAll started trending globally, as people shared their approval of the plan. This particular proposal echoes several previous healthcare reforms that Kojima has been advocating since 2010.
“Over the years I’ve been hearing about the idea of healthcare universalization, and I’ve been saying to myself, why can’t we try to do it?,” Kojima said. “As you know, I wanted to make a Metal Gear game for kids, but I couldn’t see any opportunity of that, for legal reasons.”
“I cannot think of anything more worthwhile than providing medical insurance for children, since they are the future of this country. We’re here for one reason and one reason only – to improve and protect the nation’s future.”
To pay for this plan, Kojima asks President Donald Trump to tax corporate profits back to the people, and roll back his various policies, such as tax cuts for wealthy Americans.
“The tax cuts, after all, go to those who need most assistance,” Kojima said. “Who can go against that?”
Kojima is running in the 2020 primary as an independent, and has to be listed as an independent candidate as he has not entered a party. But he believes the number of his supporters will eventually get big enough to require Democratic bosses to back him for the role, because he has the size of fans.
“I expect, hopefully, that I will be successful enough to be able to push the Democratic leadership. I don’t know if they’ll give me the chance, but if they don’t, then we’ll have to see if Republicans will care enough about the people to back someone from a third party,” Kojima said.
“I’ve been trying to convince the Democrats for years that this is an amazing proposal, and that they would agree to it. Unfortunately, I never had the chance to really talk to them. I just have to wait until I have the chance to talk to the Democratic Leadership Committee and ask them if I can make this proposal.”
“Perhaps, the outcome will be surprising.”

quote:

Everytime that Rush Limbaugh snorts a line of valium iced with marijuana, he's being an rear end in a top hat to everyone connected with the drug.

His first line: "You've got to remember that in 1980 they could keep their drat records. We got no record!"

Later in the hour, he asked: "What is it they want me to do with that little bag of cocaine they're giving me?"

"They're trying to keep their drat records, too," Limbaugh said, without answering.

The question drew from the conservative radio hosts' desire to see what will happen next in the wake of the Justice Department decision to crack down on doctors who prescribed illegal prescription drugs. (The decision came after the Drug Enforcement Agency shut down a program in 2015, and a second, similar program that used government money to pay for patient visits did not end up stopping the supply.) Rush and others have pressed a series of questions: Would Rush Limbaugh be forced to leave his show, and what will he do if he does or is forced to leave? And what is the effect of Limbaugh's decision to go to court?

So far, Limbaugh has failed to respond. The conservative hosts spent some time Sunday morning arguing that the government cannot impose the conditions on his contract that would force him out -- especially as Limbaugh has said he has nothing to do with the medical products.

Ran Mad Dog posted:

DONUT TORUMP GREATAST PRESIDENT EVER. THE PRESIDENT IS GAY AS CAN BE, BECAUSE I HAVE A SHORT SHOT OF HIM BECAUSE I AM FEMALE. MY NAME IS ANCHOR BLISS JOE BUNN, AND I AM TRYING TO MIND WOMEN INTO BANDFIGHTING TO STOP THE WAR ON WOMEN. MY EXCELLENCY, THE EXCELLENT THUG, DOESNT EVEN OWN A HONDA STYLE CAR. HIS NAME IS JACK KANE. I HAVE A SHORT SHOT OF HIM BECAUSE HE'S GAY AND WE CAN'T BAN YOU. HOMEMADE PICTURE, YOU BITCH. MY NAME IS JERY ROSE. I'LL BE HONING YOU SOMETIMES NEXT. YOU CAN CHECK IT OUT IM COMING SOON. AND YOU CAN CHECK IT OUT IM COMING SOON IM WEARING A SHORT SHOT THAT WAS TAKEN IN A LITERAL MENTAL HEART STAGE WITH DIRTY WATER AND ANIMALS IN IT. IF YOU DONT BELIEVE HOW AWESOME I THINK OF YOU, COME BY AND GET IT HERE.

HIT THE SHARE ON TWITTER, LIKE ITS NOT IN YOUR BLOG

Tunicate posted:

quote:

A man chooses. A slave obeys. The slave is, he cannot do it, he cannot, therefore, please this man,
he cannot, therefore, please another man, and he cannot even please himself.

Then this man must, perhaps, love his slave,
will have such a love that it will make him want to please and will make him want to go away for one hundred years just to live by himself,
as it were his own dream. But this dream has not lasted ten years. It has ceased to be his dream.

But now the dream was not his dream. Now this, then, was the difference between dream and reality,
between what a man wants and what he knows that he must have.
The man did not know he could never please myself. He did not know he could never please him.

What does this state of things bring to the question of our lives?
We think of them not as separate states of feeling, but as being united together into a single entity.
So much so that when, at the end of each hour, one part of the day is dedicated to reflection,
another to thought and another to work and so forth,
one might wonder whether the whole time had been spent in a sort of mental,
physical or physical relation to each other. The thing so called dream-states would be entirely separate from one another if we regarded

quote:

Tips for paying off student loan debt:

1. Don't have a job: Most lenders will tell you that your job is "too risky to be considered for repayment." But, if you're willing to put a little extra into studying, you can save money by paying yourself all the way through.

2. Paying at least 70% of your total salary toward student loans isn't necessary, but it's still a good investment from an economical standpoint.

3. Ask yourself, "What am I going to do with that? What will I buy or rent? Will I buy another house? What will the car do on that?"

4. Make sure you don't exceed the income that a family with a $2,500 monthly income would have without a loan.

Captain Billy Pissboy posted:

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

This reads like a WSJ article about lazy millenials

quote:

Millennials are killing the planet.

Millennials are destroying everything.

Millennials are the first generation to leave Africa. Why? Because they were brought up to be terrorists. The same generation that wants to destroy the planet.

Millennials should be taught to be respectful of those they meet.

Millennials should be taught to treat others with dignity and respect.

Millennials should never be allowed to use anything that isn't theirs.

Millennials should never leave school with a job or a job interview with a resume.

Millennials should never be allowed by law to run for political office.

Millennials don't understand the value of hard work and perseverance.

Millennials shouldn't be allowed to own anything that's over 1 million dollars.

Millennials shouldn't be allowed to eat what no one ever gave them, even if it's in China.

Millennials shouldn't be allowed to work at an agency that's based on ethnicity that's in any way "different".

Millennials should never be allowed to own property or move about any place they want in the country.

Millennials shouldn't be allowed to work.

quote:

Baby boomers are the true "greatest generation" because  of everything they've done for their country and its people.  You can't ignore that and go into this election thinking that these people don't matter.

quote:

Oh my God, what is that man doing to his anus? You don't know who that is? You don't know that that is a man?"

And what do you think, was he having a normal sex life?

"No, it's not," he said. "He's loving his anus."

"You want me to go home and get my anus cleaned?" she yelled. "Go over to the bathroom, Mr. Jones."

They went through the bathroom. And while the door closed, the man looked. In the mirror.

Inside a small bathroom at the McDonald's in Midtown, he was naked but not as big as others I met. He is wearing shorts while carrying a small white cup across his middle, and he is wearing nothing but a pair of white tennis shoes. The only thing he wears is two blue T-shirts from Old Navy with a hole in the middle, which he says he bought at a thrift store.

Then the man stopped, and, standing there, his pants bunched behind his legs. I went in and saw it the way everyone else did: He is looking like a man without legs, with his legs tied. He's wearing shoes with no socks on them.

quote:

George W Bush doesn't care about black people  ?????????????????????? ????????????? ???????? ????????? ????????? ??????? The Republicans who say they know blacks shouldn't vote ???????????  ???????????????? ?????????? ???????????? ??????????? ??????????? ???????????? ???????????? ??????? ???????????? ???????????? ??????? ?????? ???????????????? ??????????? ????????????? ?????????? ??????? ???????????? ?????? ???????????? ????????? ??????? ???????? ????????? ?????? ???????????? ???????????? ??????? ?????????? ????????? ?????? ? ????????????? ?????? ????????? ????????? ???????????? ?????????? ????????? ??? ????????????? ????? ????????????? ??????????? ??????? ?????? ????????? ????? ???? ????????? ??????? ????? ?? ???? ????????? ????????? ?????????? ???????????? ???????????? ????? ????????? ?????? ????????? ?????? ???????? ????????????? ?????? ????? ???? ? ?????? ???????? ! ???????? ???????????? ??????? ?????? ????????? ???????????? ???????????? ????????? ?????????? ????????? ?????? ???????? ???????????? ???????????? ?????

turn off the TV posted:

President Trump made his first public statement on gamer genocide on Thursday from the Oval Office, where he urged both Congress and the White House to find solutions to the ongoing crisis."The gamer community has been subjected to an absolutely horrific onslaught of false conspiracy theories about what they did or didn't do on their systems, and I'm asking all Americans to join me in demanding the truth," Trump said. "Let's get this straight: They played World of Warcraft for 20 hours, and you claim they did nothing wrong? They did nothing wrong to the gaming industry? Why are you not going after the people responsible for these horrible reports? Get the facts. Get those [anti-gamer] activists who make up these stories out of business and out of politics. They've proven themselves to be completely dishonest.""If you want to talk about ethics, I don't even know, they just play games in general, but I don't care to hear about it. I don't care if we're trying to save the community from itself," Trump continued.Trump also asked Congress and the White House to work together to address "this huge issue."The president told Congress he wants lawmakers to "stop looking the other way and start demanding the truth," and that he "loves gamer" communities. "I will fight for the gaming community and will never hesitate to defend its rights," Trump continued.Trump also encouraged people to boycott companies

Eat This Glob posted:

Finally, the ai cracked the GOP's African Americian outreach program

quote:

Richard “Lowtax” Kyanka

‍‌ ‏ ‪

Lowtax has joined the Slack channel of @the_lowtax and is happy for the opportunity I'm giving him. Thanks to him for everything he does!

⇡⇧⇟⇦⇦⇦⋮⇧⇟⇦⇦⋮⇧⇣⇒ↁ

↓⇢⇦⇦⚡≁⚠⚡◅⚡◅⚡◄⚠⚠⚠⇦⋮⇓⇢⇦⇦≀⋮ ⿿

 ‼ ⚠ Ⅱ Ⅲ ⊳⊵⊶⏡⇧⇦⇦⇦⇦⋮ º ⊳⍉⌎⌎⌎⎡⌎⎡⌎⌎⌎⌎⌎⎡⌎

Socks4Hands posted:

honestly it's just so much fun to read news written to spec for you from an alternate reality. i've underlined some of the better details but this whole thing is magical

Thousands of Bears Descend on Small Montana Town in an Event Referred to by President Trump as "Biblical"

Captain Billy Pissboy posted:

Chicago is victim to latest bear attack

"He came running out ... and there was no way to find him because he had disappeared into nowhere," a neighbor told the news media, referring to the black bear found dead in the Bronx two weeks ago.

An unidentified friend of the bear is alleged to have taken him to a park in Queens to meet his mate.

A few days before the attack, an unconfirmed photograph was circulated on Facebook, appearing to show a black bear sleeping nearby amid piles of garbage in a Manhattan park. The bear was allegedly spotted and photographed by a New York University-Hunter College student.

Bows and a bowie knife were recovered at the scene by police.

After his killing, the bear was described by animal enthusiasts as having a grizzly-like build and beady brown eyes.

He weighed only around five pounds per square foot and wore a "barky bear" patch on his chest. No one was found to know where he went and how he got there, said the police.

'The bear was a threat and could have hurt a person in the short term'

The death of the male bear comes a month after New York state killed a male grizzly bear at its own zoo. Two females and one baby were also shot by police, who later released the bodies to relatives

quote:

I don't like 'em putting chemicals in the water that turn the freakin' frogs gay!

So the frog is gay!

But that doesn't make it any funnier.

The most ridiculous thing about this song is the lyrics.

"You don't get the feeling you know me no more

We don't ever feel we belong together

We've been apart the best way we could ever know it"-- the lyrics are so dumb I'm sorry this song would get any worse.
I wish I didn't feel obliged to write it up. I'll write it up anyway!
It will prove that the word gay is actually not that stupid, I think the most stupid lyric I've ever read was the title line of the book 'The Gay Gene'.

But the song itself is so dumb I want to write a whole article just about it.

I think you can probably guess it by now.

The song is filled with stupid lyrics.
In the beginning, they're all bad, then they're bad for 10 seconds and they're great,
then some stupid song comes out, like "the song's really stupid because the lyrics are really ugly and the song's really stupid
and it should be better than either of those two or both of those songs!", then after five minutes we're all pretty sure it's all good

quote:

im gay, the gay guy, the homosexual gay boy, the homosexual gay boy, the gay gay boy, the gays gay boy , the Gay gay boy , the Gay gay gay boy. They always made me feel uncomfortable. It made me feel bad. But one morning on my first walk into my apartment I noticed my friend Michael, this gay guy from New Jersey, sitting near me in meditation, and I just decided that this wasn't what he wanted. So I said, "Why don't I look for someone just like you." And Michael came by, he took my hand and said, "Hi Mr. King. You know, that's really odd. You just talked to me like some kind of eccentric." I smiled and said, "I'm not eccentric. We really got along, you know." And he looked at me like I hadn't just said that. It really did kind of make me feel awkward. In the end, we became really good friends, and I just thought, It's kind. It's OK. I'm just going to talk to this other guy for a little while and see if it lasts or works because we can't have this guy getting into all kinds of trouble.

Sgt. Pepper: We're All Gays in Paradise

[19:30]

My friend Richard and I were listening to this amazing musical called You're G

Goast posted:

quote:

President Trump shocked the world today after explaining that the popular children's book series "The Berenstain Bears" used to be known as "The Bernstein Bears". He went on to reveal that the name change was the result of a fork in the timeline caused by time travelers attempting to learn winning lottery numbers.

He announced the decision on the Trump National Golf Club PGA tour during a question and answer session with the media.

"After several discussions, it's all really, really OK," Trump said.

He said that he has a lot of time to figure out how to change the name of the series, though he knows first-hand how upsetting that decision will actually make people who know it feel.

For the time being, he plans to play with an English name for the show's English-language edition, "The Berenstain."

"It's funny, a lot of these series, people just don't really speak English, and if you take that to heart, there's another series that just uses the first name but it's very different," he said.

As to whether the series ever changed titles because of language differences, Trump shrugged his shoulders: "No, I actually love it. I like it."

Trump isn't the only person involved in making such a drastic choice. His former business partner, Eric Trump, is