CSPAM Wrestles: Flying Guillotines, People's Elbows, and Falcon Arrows!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > CSPAM Wrestles: Flying Guillotines, People's Elbows, and Falcon Arrows!

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Raskolnikov38: Mar 3, 2007; We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

politics in my wrestling? its more likely than you think

since cspam and wrestlehut have a large crossover and politics when it comes up in wrestling (reminder WWE hall of famer donald trump is your president) causes lots of headaches for j-ru over there lets have a wrestle thread here. if you're completely new to wrestling, ask any question you want in this thread and we'll try to answer it because i can't cover everything in a single OP or thread.

a brief breakdown of wrestling promotions

Wahhabi Wrestling Entertainment: commonly known as the WWE, formerly known as the WWF until the world wildlife fund won its lawsuit over the acronym. run by :vince:

mcmahon WWE has 4 weekly wrestling shows: RAW on mondays, Smackdown on tuesdays, 205 live also on tuesdays, and NXT on wednesdays. NXT is its own thing separate from the other shows, 205 live wrestlers usually get to wrestle a match on RAW. RAW is WWE's flagship product and airs 5pm EST on USA. Smackdown airs at 5pm also on USA but is moving to FOX in october. WWE airs roughly one PPV a month, available on the WWE network for $9.99

alright now that the information is out of the way, WWE is the shittiest company in all of wrestling. from the stories to the ethics of capitalism WWE loving sucks. vince's brain has melted and he can't write a story to save his life and refuses to turn over control to people with non-melted brains. FOX gave them a billion dollars and the KSA gave them another billion so WWE does not give a single gently caress that its in a death spin currently. for WWE's crimes against humanity that take place before 2018 pleast refer to massrafter's NY64 twitter tournament. and here's MRT and i think hulkamatt talking about vince's crimes for literally days

All Elite Wrestling: for decades vince mcmahon has taken every opportunity to humiliate the Rhodes family. unfortunately for vince he's also a dumbass who granted Cody Rhodes his release from the terrible loving Stardust gimmick he was stuck in and immediately went to form a new wrestling company with kenny omega, chris jericho and the young bucks. AEW just had its first PPV, Double or Nothing which loving ruled and is on bleacher report live if you want to buy it. AEW's getting a weekly show on TNT in October but the day of the week has yet to be decided.

New Japan Pro-Wrestling: I think they're the biggest wrestling promotion in Japan currently. I don't watch Japanese wrestling due to the language barrier and time zone but by every account it loving rules and you should watch it! NJPW airs their stuff on New Japan World for about $10 a month after you convert from yen. HOWEVER new japan world's billing cycles are hosed up and begin on the 1st regardless of when you actually sign up. to maximize your money make sure you sign up for their service on the 1st of the month.

alright and now for the stuff i know nothing about so here's some OPs i stole from wrestle hut

Lucha

Thauros posted:

There's been a surge of interest in Lucha Libre on PSP for both good reasons (Lucha Underground, Rey and Alberto leaving WWE, Fantasticamania, AAA ippvs) and sadly one incredibly tragic one.

With Lucha becoming increasingly accessible to watch (especially AAA) and PSP growing increasingly disenchanted with the product WWE's putting out I thought it was time there was a thread to discuss it and share links to cool matches both past and present that are on Youtube and Dailymotion. It's not to everyone's tastes but if you're looking for something new and different you should give it a try instead of just futilely complaining about WWE.

Where do I go for news or to find matches?

thecubsfan (blog/Twitter/YouTube) provides thorough coverage on his blog and twitter and constantly uploads AAA on Televisa, CMLL�s TV, and various indie matches on his YouTube.

�Dr. Lucha� Steve Sims (Twitter) covers Lucha in Bryan Alvarez�s weekly newsletter and does occasional podcasts for WO/F4W subscribers

woooo streams a four hour block of Lucha every Wednesday featuring both AAA and CMLL from 4-8 Eastern (Thanks Yuriy)

AAA uploads stuff on their own YouTube including their Sin Limite TV show as well.

Segunda Caida - "Good blog for random lucha stuff" (Thanks spermgod)

Major Feds

AAA is currently the biggest fed in Mexico and also the one partially responsible for Lucha Underground. They have higher production values and better television coverage than CMLL and their product is generally considered to be more "Americanized" in style. Matches are one fall, titles seem a little more important than they are in CMLL and you see a lot more heel interference and post match beatdowns. They hold a few major iPPVs a year. Their first two attempts were mostly disastrous but they changed providers for their last one and it streamed perfectly.

They're still a long way from reaching their '90s zenith but before this week of horrible tragedies they were experiencing a run of steady growth and considered to be a company on the rise. Perro Aguayo Jr was their top rudo and according to Dave Meltzer was more important to them than John Cena is to the WWE, so they obviously have a huge challenge ahead of them.

CMLL is the oldest existing wrestling promotion in the world and presents a more traditional Lucha product. All matches are 2/3 falls. If you're a NJPW fan you've seen many CMLL stars make appearances there especially on the February Fantasticamania tour. Many lucha fans on PSP consider them to have better workers than AAA does. Unfortunately, aside from last year's fabulously successful Anniversary show headlined by Atlantis vs. Ultimo Guerrero in a mask vs match match they've struggled at the gate and lost their main television. Fortunately for them they own their main two buildings so they should be able to survive for the foreseeable future.

They used to stream matches live on Sunday nights but sadly that's no longer the case. You can still catch many of their matches on YouTube albeit sometimes in a chopped up form.

Other feds

There's tons of smaller feds out there as well that run the gamut from traditional lucha with old stars from 20+ years ago to goofy comedy poo poo featuring warring teams of Ninja Turtles. I know very little about them to be quite honest but thecubsfan covers them and uploads indie stuff on his channel and Spermgod can probably tell you a lot more.

How the hell do tag matches work?

In lucha a legal tag is made as soon as a wrestler touches the outside floor. If you've seen lucha influenced Japanese or US feds like Dragon Gate and Chikara you'll be familiar with it.

Why are the referees so terrible?

I'd like to know too. Rudo refs are a thing in both feds, and sometimes even regular refs will apparently hold a grudge or show favoritism to certain competitors. Ref bullshit is probably my least favorite aspect of lucha, but you'll get used to it.

Uh, what you said is bullshit and you obviously have no idea what you're talking about!

I'm the farthest thing from a lucha expert and simply felt that this forum needed a thread for stuff that wasn't a GDT for an event that's already been held or discussion of Perro's death. Improved info and corrections are welcome from people who know more than I do.

Joshi: or Women's Japanese Pro Wrestling

AEW had a Joshi showcase on DoN and it loving ruled, check out this branch of wrestling ASAP

RealFoxy posted:

World Wonder Ring Stardom from Japan is currently the undisputed Queens of women's wrestling right now, featuring a colorful cast of talent from all over the world and (formerly) home to some of the greatest female wrestlers in the last two decades. Although notable for their talent, they're also caked in controversy at times, in combination with their top stars Hojo and Io Shirai being raided by Big Hunter's NXT program. Notable wrestlers and alumni from STARDOM include Io Shirai and Meiko Satomora, some of the best wrestlers in the world today, Future NXT standout Kairi Hojo known around the world as having the most beautiful elbow drop in the business, ACT Yasukawa the retired charismatic rum-drinking bondage pirate most recently notable for getting the poo poo beaten out of her by an angry YOSHIKO, The American bred but Japanese made Kris Wolf who is a literal wolf with 10 thousand more times energy than any normal animal, and Tessa Blancard. STARDOM is on their way to building up their new generation after many of the stars have moved on to NXT or the MYC lead by Mayu who formerly appeared in Lucha Underground.

Raskolnikov38 has issued a correction as of 19:24 on Jun 10, 2019

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:31

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# ? May 3, 2024 08:04

shiksa: Nov 9, 2009; i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

the undertaker is straight up a nazi

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:32

Kirios: Jan 26, 2010

If you really think about it wrestling and politics aren't that much different from one another.

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:34

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

Wrestling is bad. Its full of murderers and rapists. Even your childhood faves beat women. Some of them even used language that would later become known derisively as "gamer words" because video gamers love potty mouthed wrestlers.

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:35

NienNunb: Feb 15, 2012

The Undertaker Is A White Supremacist

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:35

Party Plane Jones: Jul 1, 2007; by Reene; Fun Shoe

but none of these wrestling leagues are socialist

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:37

Sidda: Oct 14, 2012

remember when u hosed this and had to pay ten dollars?

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:38

Raskolnikov38: Mar 3, 2007; We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

Party Plane Jones posted:

but none of these wrestling leagues are socialist

zack sabre jr is at least

https://zack-sabre.backstreetmerch.com/t-shirts/hates-tories

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:39

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

Party Plane Jones posted:

but none of these wrestling leagues are socialist

the closest you get is PWG(which was once run as a collective) and Eve Wrestling(which acts as a front for a women's direct action movement).

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:39

Calibanibal: Aug 25, 2015

interesting how the only good and authentic wrestling, lucha libre (lit. "book fighting"), has virtually no presence in the OP

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:44

RealFoxy: May 11, 2011; I'm not making a fucking QCS thread for this but seriously can we take a harder stance on Kiwifarms freaks like this guy, Jesus Christ seriously, you used to be better at knocking these creeps down. I guess ADTRW mods aren't responsible like GBS mods are.

Did you read the OP because Lucha is definitely there, under the label "Lucha"

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:45

Calibanibal: Aug 25, 2015

its like 4th down (why?) and its just some quote from an idiot who knows nothing of lucha, and also I'm talking about real, authentic lucha (its not the kind of poo poo you can find on youtube lol)

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:48

Raskolnikov38: Mar 3, 2007; We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

also wrestling adjacent is the wrestling podcasts the most significant of which are those by the Wrestling Observer/Figure 4 Daily run by Dave Meltzer and Bryan Alvarez. also features VINNY V (and also craig and filthy tom and semperivive who all suck)

enjoy bryan, vinny, and craig reviewing part of an episode of WCW from 19 years ago!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4NRQy2t854

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:48

frankenfreak: Feb 16, 2007; I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

Raskolnikov38 posted:

for WWE's crimes against humanity that take place before 2018 pleast refer to massrafter's NY64 twitter tournament.

For posterity: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3876203

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:53

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

Thank you for posting this, friend

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:53

Julio Cruz: May 19, 2006

Raskolnikov38 posted:

also wrestling adjacent is the wrestling podcasts the most significant of which are those by the Wrestling Observer/Figure 4 Daily run by Dave Meltzer and Bryan Alvarez. also features VINNY V (and also craig and filthy tom and semperivive who all suck)

Lawlor and Sempervive are both awful but Craig is great :colbert:

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:54

shiksa: Nov 9, 2009; i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

wrestlesplania is a good leftist feminist focused podcast that is also about getting horny for zack sabre jr's hog

# ? Jun 10, 2019 18:56

Vandar: Sep 14, 2007; Isn't That Right, Chairman?

Eric Bischoff's Tedx Talk probably belongs in a politics/wrestling thread, yeah?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2RCT6Li4UQ

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:00

frankenfreak: Feb 16, 2007; I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

coconono posted:

Eve Wrestling(which acts as a front for a women's direct action movement).

and has the best regular venue in the Resistance Gallery

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:01

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

the only good wrestler is a former bank robber who goes by Nick Gage.

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:02

Rarity: Oct 21, 2010; ~*4 LIFE*~

Billy Brexit

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:05

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

Rarity posted:

Billy Brexit

has to be reminded periodically to not use gamer words

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:05

Raskolnikov38: Mar 3, 2007; We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

coconono posted:

the only good wrestler is a former bank robber who goes by Nick Gage.

i will never forgive him for almost killing the greatest WCW champion of all time

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:06

Raskolnikov38: Mar 3, 2007; We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

its amazing that so much poo poo happened in wrestling in the past year that "david arquette had a death match with nick gage and nearly died" is nearly forgotten

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:11

Kirios: Jan 26, 2010

Wait...that happened?!

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:18

Rarity: Oct 21, 2010; ~*4 LIFE*~

OP should really have a link to MRT's NY64 thread

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:20

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

jesus WEP posted:

The Undertaker is a racist and a Nazi and the SS shirt is fairly conclusive evidence. The 88 photo is not. It�s undecided if dropping the Jewish man on his head the other day is or not.

crossposting my thoughts on the best racially pure striker in wwe

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:20

Chokes McGee: Aug 7, 2008; This is Urotsuki.

RealFoxy posted:

Did you read the OP

strong "no" to this and every other thread

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:25

Raskolnikov38: Mar 3, 2007; We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

Rarity posted:

OP should really have a link to MRT's NY64 thread

done and with a link to the podcast as well

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:25

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

Kirios posted:

Wait...that happened?!

yeah, Nick was working the gash and David leaned in too much and got really cut up. There's a video of a bloodless David Arquette apologizing to Nick Gage(also vowing to never deathmatch again) floating around.

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:25

UnlimitedSpessmans: Jul 31, 2015

shiksa posted:

wrestlesplania is a good leftist feminist focused podcast that is also about getting horny for zack sabre jr's hog

also about how kenny omega and ibushi are horny for eachother while also being volcel for wrestling.

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:26

coconono: Aug 11, 2004; KISS ME KRIS

oh yeah, Rachel from Wrestlesplania did a really good documentary on gerrymandering in Pennsylvania

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:31

Dimebags Brain: Feb 18, 2013

Dave Meltzer is definitely on the spectrum and has the most powerful posting brain in wrestling, and is therefore very good.

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:34

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

the best days of wrestling were in the '90s, today's stuff doesn't hold a candle to that era

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:35

Jackie D: May 27, 2009; Democracy is like a tambourine - not everyone can be trusted with it.

Rarity posted:

Billy Brexit

I hate that guy!

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:38

RealFoxy: May 11, 2011; I'm not making a fucking QCS thread for this but seriously can we take a harder stance on Kiwifarms freaks like this guy, Jesus Christ seriously, you used to be better at knocking these creeps down. I guess ADTRW mods aren't responsible like GBS mods are.

get that OUT of my face posted:

the best days of wrestling were in the '90s, today's stuff doesn't hold a candle to that era

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhgwRIP3dQU

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:38

Destroy My Sweater: Jul 24, 2009

i can't tell which forum i'm on now hell yeah

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:38

frankenfreak: Feb 16, 2007; I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

Jackie D posted:

I hate that guy!

Good thing Will Ospreay seems to be trying to retire that persona. I wish him the best in this endeavour.

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:39

Raskolnikov38: Mar 3, 2007; We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

Dimebags Brain posted:

Dave Meltzer is definitely on the spectrum

please dont do this

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:43

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# ? May 3, 2024 08:04

shiksa: Nov 9, 2009; i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

Destroy My Sweater posted:

i can't tell which forum i'm on now hell yeah

this is inevitably going to be the only thread I post in

# ? Jun 10, 2019 19:59

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > CSPAM Wrestles: Flying Guillotines, People's Elbows, and Falcon Arrows!

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