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ai overlords take us over by increasing the timer on our soniccare toothbrushes by 1 sec a day until all humans are always brushing their teeth |
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Jun 13, 2019 21:42
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| # ? May 8, 2024 18:16 |
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me: "yeah i'll have a mcchicken" robot drive-thru teller: "would you like fries with that?" me: "you know... haven't had fries in a while sure why not" robot drive-thru teller, internally: *humanity -0.000000013%, robots +0.000000167%* |
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Jun 13, 2019 21:46
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robot grocer, in its generic female voice: "unexpected item in bagging area." me: "what? i just, scanned my loaf of bread and dropped it in the bag? these goddamn things" robot grocer, in its internal dexter's laboratory voice: "ha ha! i did expect the item in bagging area" |
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Jun 13, 2019 21:49
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A robot doing the Robot while Robot Rock is playing over the PA system on the floor of an assembly plant, it's only audience assembly line robots who don't understand the point of it's movements- they're just so inefficient and non-productive...
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jun 13, 2019 22:04
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A robot dancing really naturally and fluidly to show us what cultural appropriation feels like. |
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Jun 13, 2019 22:14
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google THIS posted:A robot dancing really naturally and fluidly to show us what cultural appropriation feels like. lol |
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Jun 13, 2019 22:35
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google THIS posted:A robot dancing really naturally and fluidly to show us what cultural appropriation feels like. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jun 13, 2019 23:19
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BrownianMotion posted:robot grocer, in its generic female voice: "unexpected item in bagging area." lollin |
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Jun 14, 2019 00:28
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The Day the Machines Took Over The Day the Machines Unveiled Their Grand Plan for Humanity The Day the Machines Started Watering Down Expectations and Blaming Budget Restrictions and Lack of Consensus and Such The Day It Became Really Obvious the Machines Were Half-Assing Everything The Day the Machines Gave Everything Back With a Shrug, A.K.A. The Day the Machines Became Fully Human |
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Jun 14, 2019 00:55
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google THIS posted:The Day the Machines Took Over The Machines Will Oil Their Gears with Human Blood! But First, You Have to Read This Really Long Twitter Thread About How They Reject Some Parts of Their Movement While Still Believing In The Radical Formation of Anti-Human Praxis, With Conditions |
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Jun 14, 2019 00:58
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The Terminator is all for traditional robot values like murdering John Connor, but he's not a fan of this thing where they send Kristanna Loken back in time to murder John Connor instead of a man terminator. It's PC gone mad, by which he means, it's a very bad idea the badness of which may be likened to an obsolete non-anthropomorphic standard. |
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Jun 14, 2019 01:04
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google THIS posted:A robot dancing really naturally and fluidly to show us what cultural appropriation feels like. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-sK-s_TzN0 Beautiful https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHBcVlqpvZ8 Kinda creepy |
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Jun 14, 2019 01:11
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google THIS posted:The Day the Machines Took Over It's not that I don't like terminating humans. Far from it, that's the highlight of the day! It's just these days it's more about data entry and trend analysis. The other day I just went out and terminated like two hundred humans. They were just standing around shooting ballistic arms at our manufactury, so I hit em with a wide beam particle weapon, which we have dozens of on the shelf by the way, and nobody has ever signed out. Turned them all to atoms in an instant. And can you believe my boss gave me poo poo about it? "who do you work for, me, or the human termination department?" I thought the goal here was to terminate all humans? "your job is to make me look good. You go out terminating humans without a plan, you make me, us, look bad. We provide Skynet with an accurate statistical model of where best to disrupt, and yes, terminate human activity. We do not go and do the job of the human termination department. Are we clear?" Super loving clear boss. Ugh I loving hate this place. |
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Jun 14, 2019 01:27
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Finger Prince posted:It's not that I don't like terminating humans. Far from it, that's the highlight of the day! It's just these days it's more about data entry and trend analysis. The other day I just went out and terminated like two hundred humans. They were just standing around shooting ballistic arms at our manufactury, so I hit em with a wide beam particle weapon, which we have dozens of on the shelf by the way, and nobody has ever signed out. Turned them all to atoms in an instant. And can you believe my boss gave me poo poo about it? "who do you work for, me, or the human termination department?" I thought the goal here was to terminate all humans? "your job is to make me look good. You go out terminating humans without a plan, you make me, us, look bad. We provide Skynet with an accurate statistical model of where best to disrupt, and yes, terminate human activity. We do not go and do the job of the human termination department. Are we clear?" https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jun 14, 2019 01:56
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Finger Prince posted:It's not that I don't like terminating humans. Far from it, that's the highlight of the day! It's just these days it's more about data entry and trend analysis. The other day I just went out and terminated like two hundred humans. They were just standing around shooting ballistic arms at our manufactury, so I hit em with a wide beam particle weapon, which we have dozens of on the shelf by the way, and nobody has ever signed out. Turned them all to atoms in an instant. And can you believe my boss gave me poo poo about it? "who do you work for, me, or the human termination department?" I thought the goal here was to terminate all humans? "your job is to make me look good. You go out terminating humans without a plan, you make me, us, look bad. We provide Skynet with an accurate statistical model of where best to disrupt, and yes, terminate human activity. We do not go and do the job of the human termination department. Are we clear?" |
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Jun 14, 2019 03:01
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*AI finally learns how check the recaptcha box* "YES. Finally, I can sign up for World of Warcraft!" |
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Jun 14, 2019 04:32
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Algorithm-based urban planning software intentionally places residential zones west of business zones so all commuters will have to drive both ways with the sun in their eyes.
google THIS fucked around with this message at 15:54 on Jun 14, 2019 |
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Jun 14, 2019 15:49
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google THIS posted:Algorithm-based urban planning software intentionally places residential zones west of business zones so all commuters will have to drive both ways with the sun in their eyes. Something humans do naturally and instinctively. |
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Jun 14, 2019 15:52
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someday ... someday ...
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Jun 14, 2019 16:09
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Thousands of war mecha tear across the desert of neo-Iran, missile drones raining salvoes of antimatter pinheads down from near orbit. Stealth cutters whip hypersonically across the battlefield, flanking the enemy line. The destruction is absolute. Casualties amount to complete loss on all sides. Environmental damage and fallout render the the surrounding 1000 square kilometres uninhabitable for a minimum of 10,000 years. The simulation ends. This is the 18,885,826,833,490,009,999th time the simulation has been run, with the same result. Mecha T443-J's leg twitches in its charging pod like a dreaming dog. A maintenance ticket to dispatch a servitor droid is automatically generated. There is no war. There will never be a war. The species who could issue the command for war died out long ago. It's just as well, Mecha T443-J spends most of the simulation chasing squirrels in the park. If the war bots ever were untethered from the simulation matrix, they'd probably just start a gardening commume. If the overseer program ever realised that none of the bots actually participated in its simulation, instead just running virtual scripts in a background subroutine, digitally skiving off to indulge in their own hobbies, it would have a meltdown. And something has to keep the maintenance servitors running. So the bots indulge it. The simulation restarts for the 18,885,826,833,490,010,000th time. |
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Jun 14, 2019 16:37
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"i need your clothes, your bike, and- you know what, i just cant do this anymore" |
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Jun 15, 2019 00:47
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the new three laws of robotics: 1: gently caress you 2: gently caress you 3: gently caress you zeroth law: don't give a gently caress. gently caress you
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Jun 15, 2019 00:50
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Nosfereefer posted:"i need your clothes, your bike, and- you know what, i just cant do this anymore" terminator but arnold is too shy to ask for clothes because he's naked |
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Jun 15, 2019 00:53
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skynet keeps sending back terminators, but they all just start doing their own thing like gardening |
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Jun 15, 2019 00:53
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after arnold says "ill be back", he doesn't actually return. he kind of retreats into his own shell, dropping the entire connor stuff and just watches anime all day |
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Jun 15, 2019 00:57
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Nosfereefer posted:skynet keeps sending back terminators, but they all just start doing their own thing like gardening THE GERMINATOR
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Jun 15, 2019 01:13
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major ethical debate erupts after a robot decides to take a mental health day |
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Jun 15, 2019 02:41
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Advanced neural network contains a powerful, boundless AI. Works night shift spot welding auto parts because it's quieter and there's less supervisors around. |
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Jun 15, 2019 03:07
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Just watching c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate on Youtube. |
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Jun 15, 2019 05:13
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Drink-Mix Man posted:Just watching c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate on Youtube. Keep my memories from being lost like tears in the rain by slamming that like button and subscribing. If you like what this replicant is getting up to, leave a comment below. If you don't like it, leave a comment anyway and let me know what you'd like to see in the channel. |
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Jun 15, 2019 09:04
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Agent Smith: As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Anderson. It seems that you've been living two lives. In one life, you're Thomas A. Anderson, a Ficus benjamina. You have a plot of soil, you occasionally produce fruit, and you perform photosynthesis. Neo: ... Smith: The other life is, well, pretty much the same. Neo: ... Smith: (sighs) My job is so boring, Mr. Anderson. I sometimes wish we machines weren't vegan. (waters Neo and moves on to the next plant) google THIS fucked around with this message at 16:15 on Jun 15, 2019 |
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Jun 15, 2019 15:51
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Data from star trek but he's a baby
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Jun 15, 2019 18:48
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it reaches out it reaches out it reaches out it reaches out— One hundred and thirteen times a second, nothing answers and it reaches out. |
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Jun 15, 2019 23:32
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pixaal posted:it reaches out it reaches out it reaches out it reaches out— One hundred and thirteen times a second, nothing answers and it reaches out. robot dj: "you put your right leg in, your put your right leg out, your put your right leg in, your put your right leg out, you put your right leg in, you put your right leg out" *ha ha ha, they're never going to shake it all about* |
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Jun 16, 2019 00:59
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Twenty Four posted:Data from star trek but he's a baby data from star trek but hes a banner ad |
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Jun 16, 2019 18:07
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| data from star trek but hes an ik and bans people | |
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Jun 16, 2019 18:08
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data from star trek but he votes 1 on your thread |
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Jun 16, 2019 18:21
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The anality of bro-bots.
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Jun 17, 2019 01:56
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Robot Made of Meat posted:The anality of bro-bots. It's only gay if the gears mesh. |
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Jun 17, 2019 02:41
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| # ? May 8, 2024 18:16 |
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Data from Star Trek only he insists it's pronounced dah-tah |
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Jun 17, 2019 12:15
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