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Mocking Bird posted:I like these threads because they always give me the creeping terrors that lead me to make extra car payments and use coupons the next time I go grocery shopping Same, I'm ahead on car payments and boosted my contribution to retirement. I also increased how much of my paycheck goes automatically into a savings account that I forget about, so I have less money to spend on nonsense, and I've learned to live within those adjusted means.
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Jun 18, 2019 19:10
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Knyteguy posted:I need to take care of the drat debt. I want practical advice, I don't need some armchair analyzing goober telling me I'm bipolar for years and the internet making decisions for me. Well, we've established that you need therapy. I'm not going to diagnose you with anything except trauma and poor coping skills (yet), but that is reason enough to go to therapy. Spending stupidly to feel better is as helpful as cutting yourself or getting drunk. Face the feelings you're trying to drown out with movement, novelty, and stuff.
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Jun 18, 2019 19:53
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Knyteguy posted:Sure, and that's something I learned on our 'vacation', and frankly in therapy. Also that stuff I wrote was past-tense. No, you wrote "I'm struggling" and "I'm spending," which are in the current tense. I'm glad you've done some therapy already, but it's well past time to go back. Your family is not a good influence on your decisions, and living with them in this manner is also unhealthy. You're in a rather precarious living situation, which you both acknowledge and wave away. "It'll be fine until it isn't" is how messed-up people cope with their lives: unable to envision a better future, unable to plan for a better future, mired in depression/self-doubt/anxiety/plain stupidity, resigned to just letting things happen. I know, I've been there; I spent a good chunk of my twenties burning through considerable money in an attempt to drown out my dysfunction and unhappiness. I even spent a fair amount of that money on traveling, like you. And I thought that all of that stuff would suffice for therapy and getting myself together, too. It was not. Same in your case. There's nothing special or unique about you that you wouldn't benefit from a good counselor, like the 99.999999999999999% of people in your position.
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Jun 18, 2019 21:22
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:its interesting to contrast KG and zrg Now, now, it's possible that KG is also stupid, and zaurg tries to rationalize things, her's just bad at it because he's dumb.
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Jun 18, 2019 22:54
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I vote we cut to the chase and send this thread to E/N, but I'm a power-hungry tyrant who thirsts for fresh blood, and I also have your best interests at heart.
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Jun 19, 2019 02:47
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E/N is for broken-brain problems, and to just bitch about life in general. This is where you go for advice when you're sick of ruining your own life, like if you live with toxic family members; are coping with substance abuse; have avoidance issues; make poor decisions; have little impulse control; self-soothe with harmful substances or behavior (shopping, gambling, etc.); sabotage yourself constantly; let your emotions and/or others undermine the quality of your life, and so on. You're loving perfect.
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Jun 19, 2019 03:37
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moana posted:Stop stealing all our good threads just cause you can't find enough stupid people in your own forum to make fun of NEVER!!!
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Jun 19, 2019 13:30
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Knyteguy posted:Yeah I agree, many of my bad spending habits came from my parents. I think they already had two bankruptcies at my age. I definitely don’t want to transfer that to my kid. You know the saying, "the personal is political?" Well, your feelings are your finances. You spend impulsively when you feel bad. You neglect your finances because they make you feel stressed, ashamed, and stupid. You let your family's dysfunctions sway your financial decisions. You're staying in this job (and in your mother's yard) because job-searching makes you stressed and uncomfortable. And so on. Your financial situation is a direct result of your inability to cope with trauma and stress in a productive manner. Same with a lot of your other choices, like living with your alcoholic mother; you let yourself AND your wife AND YOUR CHILD be pulled into an unstable living arrangement with toxic people. You've put your child in the position of continuing the dysfunctional cycle of your family's emotional and financial problems. And if you think I'm exaggerating, try thinking about it in plain words: your son is living in a trailer that's illegally parked on his alcoholic grandmother's property, and his parents don't have the money for an emergency, let alone to improve his living situation.
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Jun 19, 2019 16:50
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Yo, KG and/or his wife, read the adults with attention disorders thread, and see if any of that sounds familiar.
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Jun 20, 2019 00:27
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OP's never coming back.
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Jun 21, 2019 18:51
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Raldikuk posted:Dude needs to spend $400/mo across 3 different carriers to ensure that he has access to the internet at any time, any location.... but also believes that he is "completely setup for off the grid living". Yeah, sure. The guy who can't even spend a day with lackluster coverage is totally ready for off the grid living at the drop of a hat. Sounds like he's confused "off the grid" with squatting.
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Jun 22, 2019 03:10
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lmfao
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Get out, zaurg
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Jun 24, 2019 19:24
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zaurg posted:Knyteguy you made a big mistake coming back, unless you have a piss/poo poo fetish. Good luck with this crew. Get out of other people's threads and go have your meltdown in your own.
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Jun 24, 2019 21:25
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I vote that you get an apartment because your child is living in a backyard with no running water and no fixed address. Your family is literally homeless. Like, if you were one of my welfare clients, I would refer you to the homeless services unit because you qualify, you are actually legally homeless.
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Jul 4, 2019 04:05
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Leng posted:2. Come up with a concrete plan that tackles those priorities one by one, in order of importance. Stabilizing your living situation might mean getting an apartment, or committing to the illegal living situation, or getting a new job. You need to work out which one based on probability and your values. Bobbie Wickham posted:I vote that you get an apartment because your child is living in a backyard with no running water and no fixed address. Your family is literally homeless. Like, if you were one of my welfare clients, I would refer you to the homeless services unit because you qualify, you are actually legally homeless. I'm not just hand-wringing and pleading for someone to Please Think of the Children, but Mary, Mother of God, THINK OF THE CHILD
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Jul 4, 2019 20:00
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SlyFrog posted:I can understand that, but I think we need to know a lot more about the environment before we can say either way based on that. Besides the family dynamics mentioned above, the fact that KG cannot even wash his hands in his home, is pretty much living in squalor. There is literally nothing stable or functional about this living situation except as an extremely short-term stop-gap measure. I get what you're saying, but what I'm saying is, you guys have an extreme and rather narrow view of what constitutes Bad. This is not healthy, this is another example of how skewed KG's perspective is on things like a stable home. He's loving squatting on his mom's backyard with no running water and a goddamn kid. If it was just KG and his wife, I'd say do whatever, but things change when there's a kid involved. Getting his debt paid down is important, but not as important as being able to bathe your child in your own home. He and his wife hosed this up big time, and now he has two challenges: his finances and being a responsible parent. Providing the basics for his child, in a home that can't be carted away by a couple teenagers with a pickup truck, means takes precedence over percentage points on bank accounts or whatever the gently caress. i know this is BFC, but come on.
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Jul 4, 2019 23:20
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n8r posted:I am shocked that kg has opted to spend money to put himself into a worse financial position. This is the first time it's ever happened. A stable home is worth the financial setback.
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Jul 5, 2019 03:17
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Buy your furniture from thrift stores and Craig's List before you buy new.
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Jul 5, 2019 18:51
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Knyteguy posted:If you mean the impulse to sell it, it's really nice and I thought it could potentially be worth $1,500 or something to help pad the emergency fund. Yeah, I think they meant this impulse. It's a nice impulse, but it's still an impulse. It shows that you're looking for anything to help you except the hard, boring work of sticking to a budget. Trying to flip the couch also strikes me a distraction that would be more trouble than it's worth. Frankly, it reminds me of the kind of scrambling I've done in the past, before I got on ADD medication--grasping for something, anything except the actual work. Keep it simple: stick to the budget, look for a better job, stay the long and boring course.
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Jul 9, 2019 00:05
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Knyteguy posted:Fixed to match my train of thought. I literally just made the choice to quit smoking to stay in budget, and that's incredibly hard for anyone familiar. I wouldn't do that if I felt like there was an easy answer besides budgeting, because quitting cold turkey is awful and we can't afford anything to help out with it. It's still an impulse. I get where you're coming from, but the only way forward is to stop entertaining your impulses. Even quitting was an impulse, brought about by someone stealing your vape pen. I actually don't think that smoking/vaping is the worst vice to have, if you can keep the costs reasonable. And it's really hard to followthrough on an impulsive decision to quit an addiction if you're not doing it with some kind of plan. Seriously, I would take you more seriously if you decided to invest in smoking cessation stuff, and understood how/why the couch thing was counterproductive in your specific case.
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Jul 9, 2019 16:35
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Knyteguy posted:I'm George Costanza, aren't I? "Every single instinct I have is wrong". Sort of. You're very impulsive, so you need to check those impulses and turn them into researched and considered decisions that have purpose.
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Jul 9, 2019 19:59
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