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Just binged this entire thread in the past few days. Thank you for doing this - Twilight has been over of those things that I never got into, then heard it was just so bad that I lost all desire to even check it out for years. And yep, it really truly is a weird combination of horrible horrible writing (about really messed up things) and actually interesting world building that you just wish the author would do something interesting with but she never does. And I thought that Sharon Green's The Blending series and The Blending Enthroned sequel series were as bad as bad fantasy gets. It's got nothing on Twilight!!
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Jul 5, 2020 13:42
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Midjack posted:I’ll play too since I’m also new. Me too!! I'm guessing that Tanya's coven and the immortal children come back into play since that foreshadowing hasn't paid off yet, including the stuff Bella was dreaming. Tanya meets Renesmee and gets massive maternal jealousies so she follows in her vampire mother's footsteps despite how that went down with the Volturi previously and turns a random boy who looks exactly like the kid Bella was dreaming about. She schemes to set this kid up with Edward and Bella's kid and we get an entire idiotic chapter of vampire baby playdates. Renesmee, being truly her mother's daughter, gets into a love triangle before she's even able to speak. Jacob cannot deal with history repeating so soon with his infant future bride and tries to murder Tanya's son. The Volturi descend upon them all in this instance and somehow there's a massive all out five way war in Forks between the two covens, the two packs and the Volturi. In the midst of all this chaos, the two immortal children get distracted as kids do and indiscriminately This is all resolved by Bella the super Mary Sue turning out to have a mental gift that appears out of nowhere that can somehow combine Edward and Renesmee's gifts to mentally brainwash everybody, including the Volturi. Thanks to that, the series ends with everyone other than the Cullens thinking that it was all a dream and Alice gets to throw another wedding for Jacob and Renesmee who is now exactly the same age as her mother. Epilogue is Renesmee giving birth to a human-vampire-werewolf child, fulfilling Alice's never before mentioned future vision that a chosen one will come to unite the three species.
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Jul 7, 2020 04:47
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chitoryu12 posted:One of you actually got it exactly right but I won't say who. Are you sure you didn't cheat? Victorkm posted:I dunno about exactly right but a couple people got pretty close if you combine their answers. We did? That's... terrible. I don't know about the others who were guessing but I was just making up stuff that seemed like it would be vaguely plausible based on what's been introduced in text so far with the intent of maximising useless drama.
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Jul 10, 2020 12:33
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I went to see the Book of Mormon on Broadway. Apart from leaving in stitches from laughing the whole way through, I remember that there was a full page ad in the Playbill that basically read "You've seen the show, now read the book" which I honestly thought was a pretty cool response. So if that's what they said in relation to what was basically South Park the musical, I'm expecting the reaction to Twilight would have been fairly supportive?
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Jul 14, 2020 12:46
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Alright I take back what I said about the Mormon Church probably being cool with Twilight - all of that stuff is incredibly not cool and messed up on so many levels, that there is no way anybody sane would have been cool with this.
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Jul 15, 2020 02:38
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Am I the only one creeped out that Aro will basically relive Renesmee's conception from Edward's perspective?
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Aug 13, 2020 03:09
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Please don't tell me that the new ending is mating Renesmee and the other human-vampire hybrid and Jacob ends up in a reverse male harem.
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Aug 21, 2020 08:35
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What the hell did I just read?! That's the worst ending to the worst story, ever.
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Aug 22, 2020 03:10
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chitoryu12 posted:Tomorrow, you all start seeing for yourself just what wild poo poo Edward Cullen was getting up to during Twilight. And you won't believe your eyes. You are a hero! 
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Aug 25, 2020 02:28
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quote:“I don’t want to move yet,” Rosalie complained. “I don’t want to start over. We’re almost out of high school, Emmett. Finally.” To your point, I really don't understand why they would keep choosing to repeat high school of all things! I understand the argument about glory days, etc but high school wasn't even a thing when these guys were actually that age before they were turned. There's nothing fascinating that you would learn in as part of the high school curriculum that would warrant going back multiple times. I could see college/university being a thing worth repeating and it's not that hard to age up your appearance with make up. The Cullens would stick out way less in that environment and I suppose the only reason it's not set in college is because Bella wouldn't be in college.
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Aug 28, 2020 00:34
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chitoryu12 posted:Though I think that would cause some more issues just because of how rigorous universities should be about academic history. How many identities would they be going through to avoid multiples of themselves? Do they keep all their degrees on their walls? Surely throughout the centuries and millennia, there is some vampire who has infiltrated academia. And to be honest, why even bother trying to get in through the official admissions process? Rich kids get into the colleges all the time via massive donations of a new building or whatever. I don't know about the US but in Australia the general state of higher education is so dismal that international students are the lifeblood of universities - without them paying full price, universities basically don't get enough funding to continue operating. The Cullens could afford to pay for a four year bachelor's degree on international student fees at any Australian university just with the spare cash lying around in any one of the random drawers in their house. The only one who actually needs official qualifications is Carlisle, since he wants to work in hospitals and do Good Things. The rest of them are just doing whatever, so they don't need a degree, or a job, or anything like that. If they were going to blend in, why would you not go full Crazy Rich Asians or the white equivalent? That would actually be the most natural environment for them to blend in, given their penchant for flaunting fast cars and single wear designer clothing. If they simply wanted to learn things, campus security isn't exactly super tight - just go wander into random lecture halls and the library. Midjack posted:If they're smart they completely destroy all paper from previous identities though their wealth persists so there has to be some sort of legal/financial instrument that persists across pesonas. The answer here is "family trust". 
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Aug 28, 2020 03:21
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I'm seriously  on why she would go back and insert this new stuff that is so much better than the original crap without revising any of the original crap. Personally, I find it a struggle to leave things I've previously written untouched because I know I can do so much better now.
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Sep 4, 2020 07:59
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chitoryu12 posted:Rosalie should have been the protagonist instead. Yes, that's– chitoryu12 posted:It's amazing how much every character becomes so much easier to hate when they're the viewpoint character. Meyer seems incapable of writing any of her drama-filled teen protagonists as anything but insane and violent when inside their head trying to come up with their motivations for letting drama exist. Uh, let's not make us all hate Rosalie as well.
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Sep 11, 2020 13:02
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chitoryu12 posted:Imagine a setting where vampires really were so stuck in who they were when they were born that they still use the same patterns of speech as when they were transformed. Carlisle is locked into 17th century English and Emmett, Alice, and Rosalie are constantly using archaic slang. 100% would read, this would be so much funnier.
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Sep 16, 2020 21:15
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chitoryu12 posted:In Rosalie's really good scene from the new text, this gets retconned. It turns out as much as Rose wants her humanity back, she's insecure that if she lost her supernaturally enhanced beauty that Emmett would reject her. How does this make any sense?! She was gang raped and left for DEAD because even as a human she was that super hot.
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Sep 23, 2020 05:46
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I'm trying to imagine how Stephanie Meyer possibly found this hot and I can't, I really can't. Poor Robert Pattison.
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Sep 24, 2020 23:00
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Yikes!! Take it easy and get well soon, the serial killer POV book will still be here.
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Sep 28, 2020 01:39
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Proteus Jones posted:In the hands of a competent writer, this could be THE hook for an incredible story. Yes, this, PLEASE.
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Dec 22, 2020 23:43
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Wow. I can't get over the plot holes that exist everywhere. Please tell me that this book covers the a original series and there aren't two more sequels from Edward's POV planned.
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May 31, 2021 14:55
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| # ¿ May 12, 2024 15:20 |
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Mebh posted:I mean I kinda love that snail...  and I unironically want it now.
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Aug 29, 2021 12:25
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