 Hi! Gonna keep this short and sweet, but yeah, we’ll be playing through another game of CK2. If you don’t know what that is, head over to the game’s thread. You don’t need to know much about it to follow this LP anyways, since I’ll be focusing on the twists and turns that the game throws my way over any actual mechanics. Also, you might know me from my previous thread, the Al Andalus Mega-LP, but this thread will be a very different beast. For one thing, I’m going to be experimenting a bit with writing styles, and for another, I won’t be starting from any of the traditional start dates. Instead, we’ll be picking up in the middle of an ongoing save of mine that churned out a very interesting world, but more on that later. That’s pretty much all I’ve got to say, so on to the game. Table of Contents Part 1 — INTERVIEW Part 2 — STORYTIME Part 3 — TOWN CRIER Part 4 — MANHUNT Part 5 — PROPHET hashashash fucked around with this message at 20:10 on Aug 7, 2019 |
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Jun 29, 2019 16:37
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| # ? May 11, 2024 22:41 |
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 Good to see you at it again so soon.
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Jun 29, 2019 17:07
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Ground floor of a new epic, hi mom
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Jun 29, 2019 17:20
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Eyyy, looking forward to some Good Stuff.
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Jun 29, 2019 17:27
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Ground floor! I'm looking forward to what you have in store.
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Jun 29, 2019 17:31
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drat you’re crazy. Best of luck!
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Jun 29, 2019 17:36
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Wow, that was fast! Thank you!
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Jun 29, 2019 17:40
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Jun 29, 2019 17:42
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Last one was crazy and didn't want to jump in because it didn't feel like quite my place to intervene by the time I finally had a forum account, but definitely following this one from the ground up.
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Jun 29, 2019 17:54
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Looking forward to finding out what kind of world we've fallen into!
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Jun 29, 2019 18:49
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Excited to see you starting up something new so fast! This should be fun.
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Jun 29, 2019 18:51
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Yeah I didn't plan to start another thread so soon, but my current game in CK2 is turning out very interesting so I figured I may as well. The update schedule will be more irregular, but this LP will probably last around 10-20 updates, so it won't go on for very long anyways. Also, first update will be up tonight, just need to write it up.
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Jun 29, 2019 18:54
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Ground floor on what is sure to be a lot of fun! Excited to see who we’re playing as.
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Jun 29, 2019 19:26
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looking forward to rereading this post in 2023 edit: didn't see the above, this is not a life-engulfing mega LP apparently which is fair
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Jun 29, 2019 19:33
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Ground floor and ready to ruin another nation! 
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Jun 29, 2019 20:10
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“I can hardly believe it myself, but I’m sitting here with a renowned personality and global celebrity that really needs no introduction. Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been granted an audience with none other than the Bitterbrook Saint, the Delhi Kingpin, the Meddling Wanderer! You’re gonna wanna stick around for this one folks, because over the next few weeks, we’re going to be exclusively exploring his brilliant life from his own lips!” “So, where’d you like to start?” … I suppose a name is as good a place as any — Cain dál Birn.  You’ve probably heard it at some point, but back before the beginning, I wasn’t a very… popular man. Now don’t get me wrong, I was sharp as a whip and could talk my way outta bag of snakes, but something about me just made men snort and women sneer.  “Hmm, how about your birthplace?” Almost as disappointing as I was, it was a tiny dank castle called Waterford on a miserable wet rock called Ireland. You’ve probably heard o’ that place, too. “A castle! That sounds interesting!” Not really. I was born into a noble family with an old name and rich coffers, but by the time I was a man grown those riches had been squandered on poor investments and excellent whores. I still had the name, but a bit grubbier than it could’ve been.   “You mentioned your family?” Oh yes, there never existed a more dismal group of people. My father held dominion over all Leinster, one of the petty kingdoms of Ireland, and yet he was a submissive recreant that didn’t have an ounce of ambition in his body.  He was probably that way because of Mother though, a cold and miserable oaf from Germany. I swear to God, flowers drooped and petals wilted whenever she walked by, it was almost a relief when she dropped into an early grave.  “Plague, I’m told?” Cholesterol, actually. But there was a bad measles outbreak that year, and Father soon followed Mother in feeding the worms, along with half the court and country.  “That must’ve been traumatic!” Quite. And to make matters worse, I soon discovered that my brothers had used this period of mourning to seize control of my kingdom, leaving me with with a single county populated entirely by country bumpkins and their cousins.   “Weren’t you the youngest son, though?” And they were specimens in tedium and ineptitude, so what’s your point? If my sad excuse of a father had his way, two dullards would succeed to his kingdom while my only inheritance would be his early-onset baldness! So obviously, I wasted no time in launching a scheme to retake my throne…  But of course, it takes time and patience for such schemes to come into fruition, I knew that much. I also knew that I would need supporters for my claim to be recognised, so I seduced a powerful player in the royal court onto my side — my half-sister, Mauda.  “Wait… so, ah, do you mean to say that you actually seduced your sister?” (I don’t know how, but my character already had his homosexual, chaste half-sister as a lover when I inherited him  ) Um, moving on, my sister quickly began to sway courtiers in Waterford to my side. In the meantime, I finally found myself a bride. Quite pretty and with an excellent head for numbers, though she did have a temper on her.  More importantly, she was the daughter of Ruah the Brute, a powerful king that terrorised the north. My marriage sealed an alliance between our two houses, giving me the soldiers I would need to overcome my brothers… if it came to that.   And with that, for a brief moment, things were finally going my way. Then it all fell apart. It started with the first attempt on my brother’s life. I knew that he enjoyed his little trips to the countryside, mingling with peasants and so on, so my sister arranged for him to meet with a little trouble on the roads…  The group of archers she hired were incompetent inbreds though, somehow letting my brother slip through their fingers unharmed!  Still, my plot went undiscovered, so we went back to the drawing board. It wasn’t much longer before another opportunity presented itself, with Mauda deciding to hire a professional mercenary band this time.  And again, they completely botched the operation! They band of fools mistook a traders’ caravan for my brother’s carriage, and assaulted them instead. The one silver lining was that they managed to kill everyone involved before word got out, thank God.  “That’s quite a bit of murder.” Yep, things were different back then. “So what did you do next?” Well, the situation was getting desperate, so I decided to take matters into my own hands — I personally recruited a few trustworthy hirelings, drew my brother onto an isolated road, and oversaw the deed myself! We couldn’t fail!  …  Trustworthy mercenaries? Pah! They sold me out before the operation ever started! But I have a nose for these things, and I bolted just as things turned awry. Rode so hard I nearly killed my horse, I’ll tell you, and do you know what was waiting for me when I got home?  Treachery. Deceit. Betrayal.  My spies informed me that that my harlot of a wife had committed adultery and was carrying a bastard. And with whom, you might be wondering? My brother. Not the one I was trying to murder, the other one, but still! My own brother, of all people!  It wasn’t long before rumours began to spread, and before I knew it, the entire court was laughing behind my back. I was furious, but what could I do about it? Her father was Ruah the loving Brute! No, I had to deal with the real culprit here — my brother. So I raised my troops, sent envoys to my allies, and declared war on the salacious fiend. I had the numbers and the moral high ground, there really was no way I could fail this time!  My brother immediately raised his armies and began marching, but I wasn’t worried. My allies would be arriving any day…  Any day now…  …  “…so what happened?” What happened? Ruah the loving Brute was cut down like paper loving mache is what happened! And just days after I had declared war!  I had nothing, no soldiers and no allies, leaving my traitorous brother to corner me and clap me in chains. All my hopes and aspirations, dreams and ambitions — poof!  And in the midst of all this commotion, my sister decided to inform me that she was pregnant. Just what I needed.  I immediately appealed for leniency, offering to pay a large ransom along with any costs incurred by our little spat, but my brother refused me out of hand and threw me into his dungeons. Do you know his name was actually Scandal? What a tool.  I hoped that our elder brother would intercede on my behalf, but the days became weeks and weeks became months without any word from him. Still got plenty of visits from Scandal though, he liked to give me regular updates — he was hosting a lavish feast that day, there was another war on, our sister was giving birth to a baby boy…  And almost a year after this sorry tale began, he dropped by to let me know that my wife was parading her bastard around as my legitimate heir.  I was raging, I won’t deny it, but scurrying rats and cold food has a way of leaching the life from a man. News continued to trickle into my damp cell as my supporters in court dropped dead, one by one.   And finally, almost three years after being hauled into my cell, my sister was strangled in her bedchambers. And with that, the last of my influence was snuffed out.  My life shrank down to the ten square feet of my cell, my fine clothes became stinking rags, passable meals became cold mush, and I was slowly ground to a nub of my former self. Before long I’d lost any concept of reality or time, but the world outside my cell kept turning, and I would later discover that my foolish brothers had somehow incurred the wrath of a powerful king beyond the sea — the King of England.  And at the turn of the millennium, ten thousand soldiers marched on Waterford.  They captured the castle and won the war, of course, seizing control over the entire kingdom.  And while conducting a routine examination of the castle, guess who they happened upon?  “So you were freed?” I was. After twelve years in the black dungeons, my brother was finally forced to open my cell and let me walk. And I didn’t waste a second in grabbing a horse and clearing out, making for my lands in Leinster. “And was anyone there?” Completely abandoned, save for a few servants and groundsmen, and one other person…  And that’s where my story really begins. ——— Cain Dál Birn -Count of Leinster -Catholic -Intricate Webweaver, Uncouth, Shrewd, Patient, Charitable, Ambitious hashashash fucked around with this message at 19:27 on Jul 1, 2019 |
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Jun 29, 2019 20:58
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Something to note - I only decided to actually LP this save when I got that last event, so I went back a couple decades to replay everything in that update. Getting imprisoned and being absorbed into England didn’t happen the original save, but we’ll roll with it and see what happens.
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Jun 29, 2019 21:00
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I don't recognise the event. I'm more surprised you survived being imprisoned. Usually you get killed off immediately.
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Jun 29, 2019 21:04
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I was stuck in there for over a decade too. Was ready to just restart before the English swept in.
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Jun 29, 2019 21:54
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Oh, this will be interesting 
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Jun 29, 2019 21:59
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OK, now this is gonna be good.
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Jun 29, 2019 22:04
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What’s Europe look like?
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Jun 29, 2019 22:26
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Top Hats Monthly posted:What’s Europe look like? Not gonna spoil it till we cross paths in-game, but a lot of religious divisions going round. I've got no intention of staying in Ireland, so it shouldn't be long. hashashash fucked around with this message at 00:02 on Jun 30, 2019 |
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Jun 29, 2019 22:30
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Bloodly posted:I don't recognise the event. I'm more surprised you survived being imprisoned. Usually you get killed off immediately. It's the immortality chain
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Jun 29, 2019 22:48
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This looks to be a good one!
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Jun 30, 2019 01:24
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Oh my, yes, this is going to be interesting
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Jun 30, 2019 02:16
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This is exactly the kind of CK2 I love to see. Everything goes terribly and then one event draws you back in.
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Jun 30, 2019 05:06
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HE HAS INSIDE HIM THE BLOOD OF KINGS HE HAS NO RIVAL NO MAN CAN BE HIS EQUAL Man, I thought the interview thing was just some LP conceit, but that certainly doesn't seem to be the case! Please be nice to Islam.
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Jun 30, 2019 06:04
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What happened to the... legitimate heir?
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Jun 30, 2019 09:07
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Red John posted:What happened to the... legitimate heir? The bastard from the wife or the bastard from the sister? Neither's legitimate, but both are alive for now. hashashash fucked around with this message at 12:42 on Jun 30, 2019 |
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Jun 30, 2019 12:39
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Hashim posted:both are alive for now. You do realize... there can be only one, right?
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Jun 30, 2019 13:11
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I'm not sure what this event is so I'm guessing Satan.
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Jun 30, 2019 13:26
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Ahahahaha, Hashim continues the tradition of playing out the unlucky saves that most of us would have abandoned. This LP is going to be excellent.
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Jun 30, 2019 13:50
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Oh hell yeah
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Jun 30, 2019 16:13
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sheep-dodger posted:It's the immortality chain well that explains a few things
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Jun 30, 2019 17:25
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Asmodai_00 posted:well that explains a few things Like the dude apparently getting interviewed on live goddamn television.
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Jun 30, 2019 19:28
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This should be entertaining.
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Jun 30, 2019 19:52
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CommissarMega posted:You do realize... there can be only one, right? Yeah, just pointing out that there are no legitimate heirs right now, since the brothers are rivals that won't be around much longer, and the sons are bastards.
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Jun 30, 2019 22:29
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Someone is looking to possibly have quite a lot of time on their hands, with a bit of luck.
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Jul 1, 2019 08:42
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| # ? May 11, 2024 22:41 |
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Looking forward to this LP, Hashim! Ground Zero this time around
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Jul 1, 2019 20:05
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