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I'll have another update in a couple hours, just need to crop n write
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Jul 1, 2019 20:13
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| # ? May 11, 2024 16:16 |
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ShootaBoy posted:Someone is looking to possibly have quite a lot of time on their hands, with a bit of luck. Not likely. Eventually, the Ruled Too Long modifiers will catch up to him.
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Jul 1, 2019 21:10
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“Tell me a story, daddy.” “Shh, get to sleep before your mother hears us.” “But mommy always tells me one before I can sleep.” “Maybe next time. Just close your eyes and sleep will come.” “Aw, come on daddy, pleeaase…”  “Alright, but I only really know one story. Have you ever heard the legend about how our people came to live here?” “I don’t think so, does it have magic in it?” “Oh yes, and there’s duels, quests and adventures.” “Ooh, tell me that one then!” “Okay, so it goes something like this: once upon a time, in a land not far from here, there was a lord that was kind and charitable. Under his rule, his people prospered and his lands thrived.”  “He became so rich and popular that his brothers, who were also lords, became very jealous. So they sprung a terrible trap and seized his crown for themselves.” “Oh! That’s horrible!” “Yes, it was. The lord could only watch as his people and lands suffered, but worst of all was the murder of his own beloved wife.”  “Daddy! I thought this was a happy story!” “I know, I know, I’m getting there. The lord was devastated of course, and in his weakness he let the Devil creep into his heart, debasing himself with women and drink—“ “What does that mean?” “Um, the point is that he became a very unhappy man.”   “Then, when he was at his lowest, a hooded stranger appeared in his castle. She was the beautiful woman he had ever seen, but we was also a Mystic, a practicer of the magical craft—.” “She was a girl? What was her name, daddy?” “The story doesn’t go into specifics, but she claimed to be an ancient goddess with magic powers!”  “And what did the lord do?” “Well… nothing, really. He was confused from the drinking, see, so he just stared at her for a little while, until she finally spoke to him. This is what she said: “At the turn of every millennium, And the passing of every immortal, Worthies on the brink of Elysium, Are faced with great tribu—“ “—you know I don’t like poems, daddy.” “It’s not a poem, it’s a prophecy. And if you let me finish, you’d know that the Mystic was trying to convince the lord to go on a quest for immortality!” “Let’s just skip to that part, then.”  “You know what, fine. So the Mystic told the lord that the only way to attain immortality was by taking it from someone else — and lucky for our lord, there was an Immortal who happened to be chasing her just then.” “Why was he chasing her?” “To fight her, I guess. They were thousands of years old, a lot of them probably hated each other after that long.”  “Anyways, the lord agreed to protect the Mystic until her pursuer showed up. Until then though, he wanted her help in defeating his own problems — that is, his brothers.”  “He had been trapped under their thumb for far too long, and our lord was determined to end that. He had cleverly saved up money for exactly this situation, using it to hire a private army to help him in the war.”  “Finally, the lord met with his brothers in a massive battle, a battle where hundreds died and many more were injured.” “Oh no…”  “And in the middle of all the fighting, the lord was thrown face-to-face with his one of his brothers…”  “They fought a terrible duel that nearly killed them both, but in the end, our hero was victorious and managed to capture his brother.”  “So he won the war?” “Not quite. He had another brother who survived the battle, running to hide in his castle. The lord chased him down though, and after another fight, he managed to capture him as well.”  “And with that, the war was finally won.”  “What happened to them?” “Who?” “The brothers!” “Hmm… you know, my memory’s quite foggy there. Not really sure.”  “But back to the important bit, the victorious lord went back to his own castle after the war was won, only to find someone waiting for him…”  “The immortal!” “Yep. And the Immortal didn’t waste any time — he demanded to know where the Mystic was, threatening to kill the lord and burn his castle to the ground if he didn’t cooperate. The lord simply drew his sword.”  “A terrible duel was fought between the two. They didn’t fight with honour or decency, instead they grappled like wild beasts, punching and scratching and biting when their blades splintered and shattered. Nobody knew who was winning until the fight was over, and the Immortal lay bleeding into the cold stone floor.”  “He won!” “Yes, the lord won. He was badly injured, his chest was carved up and his hand was in tatters, but he won. And even as he watched, his foe began to age and wither, with his skin becoming leathery and his hair turning snowy until he was a shrunken old man.”  “So did the lord become immortal?” “Not yet. He had to prove to the Mystic that he had killed the Immortal, so he cut his head off and carried it to her like that.”  “…that’s gross!” “It is, but it’s what the Mystic wanted, and in return she finally agreed to share her secrets with him. She revealed that he could only become immortal by eating from the forbidden tree, which was located deep in uncharted wilderness and flowered once every thousand years. The lord wanted to taste that fruit though, so he gathered some of the greatest warriors and adventurers from all across the realm to accompany him on his quest, and on the night of their departure they held a great feast, drinking and dancing until the early morning light.”  “That would be the last time they enjoyed themselves for a very long time, because the Mystic led them into lands that nobody had ever even heard of, much less been to. The trek was very hard, with the hot sun beating down on their heads during the day and strange beasts roaming around their camps at night. And as they neared the end of their quest, nature itself started working against them, causing a great avalanche of rocks and boulders to block their paths.”  “The lord was a determined man, however, and he persisted where others would’ve crumbled.”  “Finally, after many months of travel and tribulation, they reached their destination — the Gardens of Eden.” “What, like in Heaven?” “Exactly. In the middle of these gardens there towered a gigantic tree, standing so tall that it cast a great shadow over everything else. And at the top of that tree hung a single apple, ruby-red and bigger than my hand. The Apple of Immortality. Our hero immediately made for the tree, but it wouldn’t be that easy.”  “You know the story about Adam and Hawwa, right?” “Oh yes, where the Devil convinced them to eat from the forbidden tree.” “Well this was the same tree, but the Devil didn’t take the form of a snake this time. Instead, he poisoned the hearts and minds of the lord’s companions, and got them to turn on each other and fight over the Apple. Lucky for our guy though, he had friends in high places…”  “God was watching them as they struggled, and he pitied them and showed them mercy. Realising that they were being misled, the lord’s companions finally stepped aside and let him climb the tree. “Just one bite later, and he was an Immortal.”  “But… what does that have to do with us? Our people?” “The story’s not over yet. So the lord made his way back home, but now that he had eaten from the Apple of Immortality, he found himself becoming more ambitious than ever before — he was an Immortal, after all, and a mere lordship wasn’t enough for an Immortal. No, he wanted something more.”  “He wanted to become a king. And that wouldn’t be easy, because there already was a King that ruled from beyond the sea, a brave and just ruler beloved by his people.”  “So what did our hero do? He started a conspiracy, a great plot to murder his own king.” “But that’s not very heroic! Why didn’t he challenge him to a duel instead?” “I don’t know sweetheart, it’s just the way the story goes.”  “Also, after being alone for so long, the lord finally got married again, this time arranging a prestigious match with a princess from Greece.”  “At the same time, he began forging claims to lands that weren’t really his, and he used those claims to start wars on his neighbours.”  “The lord watched as his people picked up their axes, fought under his banners and died in bloody battle. He won most of those battles, but at the cost of thousands of lives.”  “The lord didn’t care anymore though, he needed to become stronger if he was going to challenge the King, and this was the only way to become stronger.”  “And his lies only got worse over the years. In fact, not long after conquering his southern neighbours, he even deceived the Pope himself!” “Who was the pope?” “The leader of the Catholics, didn’t they teach you about them in school?” “Hmm, I think so. Maybe.” “Well, the point is that he promised to help the Pope in his religious conflicts—”  “—but only if he was given claims on neighbouring lands.”   “And of course, as soon as he got those claims he broke his promise.”  “His fellow Catholics were furious, of course, but they were only mortals, so it wasn’t like their opinion mattered. While they raised their swords in holy war, he sent his armies in the opposite direction…”  “All these military expeditions were beginning to take a toll on the treasury, but the lord simply took loans and raised taxes, determined to expand whatever the cost.”  “And as far as he was concerned, it was definitely paying off, because he won another massive battle against the northern armies soon afterwards.”   “That victory was completed when he captured the enemy leader a few weeks later, running the last of his army to ground in another bloody fight, and bringing the war to a close.”   “With that, the lord had trebled his lands and income in just a few years. Impressive, but this meteoric rise to power also spawned foul rumours amongst both peasants and nobles, whispering about the lord who consorted with sorcerers and heretics…”  “Murmuring about the lord who lay with pagans…”  “And every now and again, muttering about the lord who doubted the very existence of God…”  “The very worst of sins, because it paved the way to more wrongs — alcohol, women, you name it.” “Women?” “Well, um, basically, he was being unfaithful to his wife by… by meeting with other women, very prominent ladies as well.”   “But why?” “He needed supporters for his big conspiracy, remember? And the lord was a clever fellow, he knew that he could get snare some through seduction and flattery, and others through friendship and praise, giving him powerful friends in the King’s court.”  “He even managed to convince the Queen to join his plot!”  “And she had the most important job of all. When the time was right, she convinced the King to a host a grand autumn banquet, she gorged him with food throughout the feast, and she slipped poison hemlock into his wine cup later that night…”  “And within seconds, he was slumped over and unbreathing. Nobody even suspected anything until the next morning, assuming he’d passed out in the middle of the feast.”  “So he died?” “Yep, and his death left a boy as the new king, if you can believe it. A baby, no older than you!”  “That’s exactly what our lord had been planning for, all those years. As soon as the news reached him, he raised another army and declared war on the Boy King, demanding his independence.”  “And he wasn’t alone. The entire country collapsed into infighting, with many battles being fought between rebels and loyalists, a civil war that would rage for many years without end.”  “Our lord mostly avoided any fighting, just nabbing a few castles here and there, up until the very end. It was when the king’s men were shattered and weakened by years of fighting that he decided to pounce, luring them into a massacre in the mountains.”   “By then, the Boy King wasn’t a boy anymore. He had grown older and wisened up, and realising he needed to end the violence and bloodshed plaguing his kingdom, he decided to make peace with the rebels.”  “One of the terms of peace was that our guy would be recognised as the sole overlord of the western isle, and one expensive coronation later, he finally got what he wanted — he was the High King of Ireland.”   “Ireland? But that’s where we live!” “It is, but this was a long, long time ago. The lord had been blessed by God, you see, raised to Heaven and given the Apple of Immortality, but what did do with those blessings? Lie and cheat, make war and kill innocents, commit sins and deny God. For that, he had to be punished.” “Punished? What do you mean?” “God works in mysterious ways, love. This time, he sent his justice in the form of a man, our own ancestor, the Scourge of God…  “One of the mightiest conquerors to walk the earth, our forefather crossed the sea and landed in Wessex in the first of many invasions into Britain. But it wouldn’t be very long before he turned wes—“  Distant shouting rings down the hall and into the bedroom, interrupting the father mid-sentence. “That’s your mother,” he said, standing up. “Come on now, it’s late and you’ve got a long day tomorrow, get to sleep.” “But what happened to the lord? Who punished him? Did he die? What’s a scouge?” The father tucked his daughter into her blankets, planted a kiss on her cheek and turned away. “We’ll finish the story tomorrow,” he said as he closed the door. “It’s a long one.” ——— Cain Dál Birn -High King of Ireland -Catholic -Intricate Webweaver, Uncouth, Shrewd, Immortal, Poet, Scarred, Patient, Ambitious, Cruel, Drunkard, Cynical -Pretty much bankrupt
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Jul 1, 2019 21:58
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It's beautiful.
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Jul 1, 2019 22:15
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*Looks at the extension of the Umayyad Empire*... 
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Jul 1, 2019 22:33
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So what kind of immortality does Cain have? Can he still get captured and executed?
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Jul 1, 2019 22:37
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Won't die from age, but events and plots can and will kill you. This includes battle events. There are also specific events for immortals that will try to kill them.
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Jul 1, 2019 22:52
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Not to mention the negative opinion effect if you live too long 
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Jul 1, 2019 22:58
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When the goonmind isn't ruling Al-Andalus they go and conquer half the known world 
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Jul 1, 2019 23:39
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Triskelli posted:So what kind of immortality does Cain have? Can he still get captured and executed? Yep, basically just immune to ageing from this point on, and I think diseases as well.
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Jul 2, 2019 00:32
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Looks like the Fatimids have also conquered Italy as well.
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Jul 2, 2019 00:36
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Can the Spawn of the Devil and Highlander events fire on the same person? Because holy moly would that be one hell of a perfect dark lord.
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Jul 2, 2019 03:21
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Mr.Morgenstern posted:Looks like the Fatimids have also conquered Italy as well. Yep, won't be long before Rome falls too 
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Jul 2, 2019 19:28
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*sweats in Popish*
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Jul 2, 2019 19:34
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I think the King of Arles might be having a worse time
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Jul 2, 2019 19:47
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Hashim posted:Yep, won't be long before Rome falls too Alhamdulillah 
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Jul 2, 2019 20:07
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The fact that Christianity being annihilated is only like the third most interesting thing about an LP is really saying something.
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Jul 2, 2019 20:41
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Finally the Catholics submit to Islamic might! 
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Jul 2, 2019 21:26
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Even better, its the last gasp of christendom and who does the Pope decide to target? The opm king of Italy who only just converted to shia. edit: and it just got cancelled, rip hashashash fucked around with this message at 23:55 on Jul 2, 2019 |
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Jul 2, 2019 23:31
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Gotta pick your battles I guess.
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Jul 2, 2019 23:39
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Hashim posted:Even better, its the last gasp of christendom and who does the Pope decide to target? What (and I cannot stress this enough) the gently caress?
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Jul 3, 2019 00:10
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Hashim posted:The opm king of Italy who only just converted to shia.   I'm a Sunni Muslim, and many of the local imams would unironically love the above.
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Jul 3, 2019 05:13
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I love the way you tell stories through these games. It's very interesting.
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Jul 3, 2019 07:10
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I just noticed the Queen's portrait- what the gently caress is up with that? 
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Jul 3, 2019 07:29
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Somehow a Catholic missionary will strike out on a last-ditch effort to preserve the Faith by making a daring flight along the silk road right through the heart of Islam to bring the Latin Rites to the Chinese. Kick off the Taiping Rebellion super early and invest the Mandate of Heaven and the Papacy onto Christ's long-lost Chinese brother(s).
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Jul 3, 2019 07:42
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Jesus is dead.
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Jul 3, 2019 07:50
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Jul 3, 2019 08:42
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So we're going to convert to Norse paganism, right?
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Jul 3, 2019 11:57
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Early Anglican, except Viking! Alternatively, Albion and maintaining the King Arthur legend though heavily influenced by Irish mythology this time through.
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Jul 3, 2019 17:55
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I wish they would add Druidism, or whatever the correct name it would be called, as an option for the Celtic nations to revive.
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Jul 3, 2019 18:58
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Love that event chain. Odd question: Does Idunn leave after the quest?
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Jul 3, 2019 19:10
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Ralepozozaxe posted:I wish they would add Druidism, or whatever the correct name it would be called, as an option for the Celtic nations to revive. There's a mod called Ancient Religions Reborn which does this pretty well, as well as the Ancient Egyptian religion and more detail to the Hellenic one.
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Jul 3, 2019 19:19
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sheep-dodger posted:So we're going to convert to Norse paganism, right? I'll say that there's little chance of us staying catholic, with moral authority having hit 0% AnAnonymousIdiot posted:
Nope, still in our court.
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Jul 3, 2019 20:46
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This Idunn woman seems like a good person to have children with. Maybe get some immortal kids, or when one inevitably murders one of their parents, they can keep it in the family.
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Jul 3, 2019 22:26
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she's unfortunately chaste, which prevents that from happening.
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Jul 3, 2019 23:03
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Robindaybird posted:she's unfortunately chaste, which prevents that from happening. She's actually Lustful not chaste. Which would be great for having kids if she wasn't also Celibate. So she's a Lustful, Celibate Mystic immortal.
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Jul 3, 2019 23:10
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Celibate, sorry I meant that - for some reason chaste pop up instead.
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Jul 3, 2019 23:12
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loving love Fiona Apple posted:She's actually Lustful not chaste. Which would be great for having kids if she wasn't also Celibate. eternal life gives you a powerful, unquenchable loneliness and a LOT of time to Practice Your Craft
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Jul 3, 2019 23:12
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loving love Fiona Apple posted:She's actually Lustful not chaste. Which would be great for having kids if she wasn't also Celibate. All that energy has to go somewhere.
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Jul 3, 2019 23:37
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| # ? May 11, 2024 16:16 |
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Maybe a case where you need to fall in love first, then marry her.
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Jul 4, 2019 01:13
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