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I'm looking for feedback on the latest book I've written. I've taken on board a lot of the advice previously given and tried to rein in the wildly self-indulgent rambling (no effort writing) I went with on my previous story. I've still approached this story with ambition. It's about a difficult subject — mental health — that in its form does alter thought patterns. I've tried to give meaning to every sentence, with anything that hints at my previous issues being meaningfully pointed at the effects of the illness on thought.A Blurb posted:It’s been three weeks since Natalie wandered in league with the city, conquering her own fears and thoughts, righting all the wrongs inflicted on her and the world. It’s two weeks since she began attending the psychiatric day hospital after her latest psychotic episode. ‘Book' tracks Natalie’s life, starting with “in the home care” and daily trips to the hospital, progressing over the weeks, months and years recovering from a frightening bout of illness. https://docs.google.com/document/d/16jvC-DlaGeVnJ9WMc_DTHgL-5HCQs8dI0lB4Oyxsk7s/edit?usp=sharing The novel is about 50k words, so a relatively short read, but a length I feel is appropriate to the type of story told. This is a first draft, that I tried some larger editing on along the way, both off my own inspection and after critique on specific parts from others. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Mrenda fucked around with this message at 06:22 on Jun 19, 2020 |
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Jul 28, 2019 01:47
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You're my only hope Sham bam bamina! With the lack of response I am, however, hoping I've transcended, "Terrible," and reached, "Mediocre, with some appeal to a small niche."
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Aug 2, 2019 20:38
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Sham bam bamina! posted:I finally have the time to read but have to be granted access to the document now. Still don't have it after waiting a couple of days, so I thought I'd ask here. You should have it now. I saw the access request and have been in two minds about it since. I didn't read the document for a few weeks. When I went back to it the other day, my mind was in a completely different place. The writing seemed intensely specific/personal to the mode I was in as I wrote it, needing a certain approach to it. Some people, in the past, have said it takes a while to get into the way I've written, and another person said that when I read it aloud (from the particular mindspace I was in) they heard it differently to how they'd read it. I think what I've written is very far from accepted "good" writing, and instead particular personal to an experience. If you can get into the right frame of mind specifically from the language as I've given it, then I might think about the document again. Otherwise, I'm so alienated from it I think I have to shelve it. This isn't to discourage you (or place all my hopes on you) it's just a realisation that I strayed far from accepted forms and wrote in a personal form.
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Sep 1, 2019 13:56
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Oh, wow! Thanks for that. You've made me feel very warm and cozy on a cold Tuesday morning. It's really easy to lose confidence in your writing (and some of the story is reflected by that) so you've given me a well timed pick me up. And thank you for the little gift you emailed me, there was no need, life is life and you did me the favour by reading the story, but it's still hugely appreciated.
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Oct 29, 2019 12:38
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