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"aren't those meerkats?"
"hardly! they're wild animals, and taxonomically within the mongoose family"
The Safari guide puts his hand over the microphone and talks to the passenger next to him "sorry sir, what's that?" The man replies "Oh, just a camera. It's Steve's" patting his friend on the shoulder. The guide removes his hand from the speaker "ahead you'll see the wild Camera, known for its many beautiful Steves."
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Jul 30, 2019 15:54
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May 14, 2024 05:05
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And there are some majestic pointy-head deer, running across the grassy place. Look at them go, just running wherever they want, not a care in the world. They've probably never accidentally killed their guide and had to assume their identity to avoid getting caught. I'm sorry, where were we? Look, there are some towers made of bug...poop, I think. Or spit? No, pretty sure it's poop. Yeah, the bugs live in them, inside a house they fashioned for themselves, out of their own poop. That I can relate to.
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Jul 30, 2019 16:05
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A weema-weh, a weema-weh, a weema-weh, a weema-weh...look everyone, it's a whole family of weema-wehs!
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Aug 1, 2019 20:40
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And there is an Eastern Snub-nosed Elephant. Note how its trunk is reduced to a hard point. He is stamping his feet and flaring his nostrils as a sign of respect and solidarity. Oh look, he's rushing to greet us! Let's hope he's better at stopping than the last one I encountered was, heh heh.
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Aug 2, 2019 01:04
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Guide: Um, um, all right everyone, let's leave this one to little Jimmy! all right Jimmy, now those are…
Jimmy: Giwaffes.
Guide: That's...exactly right! And they eat…
Jimmy: Weaves.
Guide: Wow, ha ha, very good, Jimmy! Let's give him a hand everyone! Say Jimmy, how would you like to be my new junior safari guide?
Jimmy: Ok. (everyone chuckles)
Guide: How does 20% sound?
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Aug 5, 2019 00:51
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May 14, 2024 05:05
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An awkwardly quiet family dinner after I get fired from my job as a safari guide. Finally I can stand the tension no longer. "All right!" I say. "It's time to address the...the...(trumpets with my lips while waving my arm around in front of me)...in the room!"
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Aug 7, 2019 02:15
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Jul 30, 2019 15:54
