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Chip McFuck posted:I'm the (proud?) owner of a DVD of Ax 'Em. My friend and I rented this once; they really could've used a ADR session.
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Aug 17, 2019 20:59
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Thundercracker posted:My personal contribution is Armageddon Code 2: Megiddo. It's the biggest budget modern Christian action movie I've ever seen. And soooo schlocky. Like the Christian president cocking a pistol while reciting "The Lord giveths *kok* The Lord taketh" Oh my god yes. Going on the list. So far the only Christian movie I've seen that I just could not finish was God's Not Dead 3 (three!!!!). It is just toooo much. I will be watching Unplanned before too long though so I suspect that will be Christian-movie-Bird-can't-finish #2.
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Aug 17, 2019 21:01
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i've lost the "because you watched christian mingle" category on my netflix and i am lost. I don't know what to watch now. Do I have to watch it again to get the category back? Because god help me i'll do it if I have to. e: i found this gods not dead 3, crisis averted. I am going to watch it despite missing the first two. yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 21:44 on Aug 17, 2019 |
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Aug 17, 2019 21:42
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Thundercracker posted:My personal contribution is Armageddon Code 2: Megiddo. It's the biggest budget modern Christian action movie I've ever seen. And soooo schlocky. Like the Christian president cocking a pistol while reciting "The Lord giveths *kok* The Lord taketh" Is that one with Michael Biehn as the all faithful American president, and only the US, those pious Catholic South Americans, and the unflinching enigmatic Chinese face off off against his brother that rules the rest of the world and is actually Satan on the fields of Megiddo and somehow the Chinese drove their tanks all the way there?
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Aug 17, 2019 22:12
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The first 15 minutes or so of God's not Dead 3 held my interest, i was wondering why the bird thought it was so bad, but after the guy died from the fire I am starting to get it. It started dragging HARD after that. I mean they brought in a little backhoe thing to demolish a church? Just one, maybe two? I'm pretty sure you need heavier equipment than that to demolish a condemned building. also this guy has the ugliest color of green paint in his house and it's bugging me. who even sells vomit green paint
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Aug 17, 2019 22:33
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I found pure madness on Prime Video. "Bruce Lee and Chinese Gods" (Note I don't think it actually has Bruce Lee in it) an animated movie from Taiwan(?) made in the 70s. IT IS COMPLETELY BONKERS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HG1zZ9Sin4 Also it is on Youtube. Check out the opening which for some reason has explanations of all the characters, in German.
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Aug 17, 2019 22:43
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yeah I eat rear end posted:The first 15 minutes or so of God's not Dead 3 held my interest, i was wondering why the bird thought it was so bad, but after the guy died from the fire I am starting to get it. It started dragging HARD after that. It drove me crazy because it was just SO drat self congratulatory, like it REALLY ratcheted it up from the prior two. The levels of white Christian persecution complex were actually painful and the only black character in the series getting fridged like ten minutes in was just too much Well actually if the Newsboys show up again I guess they still have a black character sort of! 
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Aug 17, 2019 23:06
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:It drove me crazy because it was just SO drat self congratulatory, like it REALLY ratcheted it up from the prior two. The levels of white Christian persecution complex were actually painful and the only black character in the series getting fridged like ten minutes in was just too much yeah the smug is definitely off the charts. There is a scene with a black preacher in the last half hour that puts him in his place and points out that he's had to deal with a lot more poo poo than this guy did, but it was dismissed with basically like "i acknowledge your point but the rest of my sentence will be all about me, indicating that I clearly don't acknowledge your point". There are so many scenes where the clear intent is showing this reverend as some kind of martyr when actually he's just an annoying guy who doesn't want to lose his cash cow. Toward the end he's running emotionally through the streets and wow, he gets winded right in front of the burnt church just when he is so desperate for answers, and wow, he gets them in some cheesy scene where he's basically floating in space. that's where I am right now, there's still 17 minutes left but I know what's coming - cheesy forgiveness scenes, the church reopens, the protestors repent and accept christ as their savior. e: yeah he forgives the guy who kills the black dude and alters his testimony to make sure he gets a lenient sentence. He rolls up in his prius to the church to religious (white) protestors on one side with god's not dead sign and "the church must go" (black) protestors on the other. He then surrenders the church and drops charges against the murderer, causing the yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 23:20 on Aug 17, 2019 |
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Aug 17, 2019 23:13
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Rock 'n Roll Nightmare is an incredible viewing expierence that starts with some Manos-esque long driving before descending into utter madness by the 'third act'. People will recommend you just watch the last scene on Youtube, but to get the full effect watch the whole movie.
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Aug 17, 2019 23:16
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I'm so glad I clicked on this thread and discovered that God's Not Dead has sequels. To contribute:  Just bathe in the glory of that all-star lineup. imdb posted:Ex-kickboxing champion turned sports photographer Max Havoc again finds himself in Guam on a publicity photo shoot. Max's helpful ways land him in the lives of the vacationing sisters Jane and Christy Goody who have acquired a rare jade dragon, which belongs to the ruthless Japanese Yakuza who will stop at nothing to get it back. It's up to Max to stop the Yakuza, save the sisters and restore order to the peaceful island. imdb posted:Max, having forsaken his life as a former world kick-boxing champion to redefine himself as a world class photographer, is on his way to photograph top tennis star and athlete Suzy Blaine. While on assignment, Max uncovers a crime ring and relies on his skills as a martial artist to set the situation straight. The first one was shot in Guam, apart from some phoned-in scenes by Carradine and Roundtree. The production ended in a huge legal mess as the Guam tourism board lent them a huge sum of money to promote the island, which they failed to repay because the movie bombed. The sequel was shot in Vancouver. Some of the fight scenes aren't bad and would have been passable in a 90s straight-to-VHS flick, but these came out in 2004/6. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vaxrr3_n2Cs
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Aug 18, 2019 00:03
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yeah I eat rear end posted:yeah the smug is definitely off the charts. There is a scene with a black preacher in the last half hour that puts him in his place and points out that he's had to deal with a lot more poo poo than this guy did, but it was dismissed with basically like "i acknowledge your point but the rest of my sentence will be all about me, indicating that I clearly don't acknowledge your point". Okay but are the Newsboys in it????! e: also that ending, god drat I'm glad I didn't try to finish it lmfao LITERALLY A BIRD has a new favorite as of 00:15 on Aug 18, 2019 |
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Aug 18, 2019 00:11
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I don't think they were in it. I had to google them and there was not a christian rock band that I can remember. Is it worth watching the first two now or am I at God's Not Dead Everest? I feel like if the other two were better than this one i'll just be let down.
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Aug 18, 2019 00:23
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After my dose of christian dramas I am in a more critical than usual mood to receive the world premiere of Zombie Tidal Wave. I am not about to tolerate a movie that coasts on its cool premise, it better strive to be more than sharknado, there is a lot you can do with zombies whom arrive via tsunami.
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Aug 18, 2019 01:40
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Wow a God's Not Dead movie without our favorite Christian rock group shoehorned in is barely a movie at all. The second was pretty forgettable but definitely watch the first one. I have watched it with multiple friends. They all hate it. 
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Aug 18, 2019 01:51
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Zombie tidal wave, we are getting off on the wrong foot. This boat owner apparently just has a falchion on his boat, but doesn't know to go for the head? And he's clearly dealing with the undead but he just chucks it overboard instead of whacking it in the head? This zombie tidal wave is going to be all his fault because he thought it was just a meth addict (which apparently is perfectly fine to stab and throw overboard). pro-tip: if a blue person comes at you trying to eat you, don't hold back. Dismember it, set it on fire, smash it into a jelly. Do what youneed to do.
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Aug 18, 2019 02:12
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come on, at the early climax you had the perfect opportunity for him to say the movie name. But he says "it's a zombie tsunami" and not tidal wave. What a missed opportunity.
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Aug 18, 2019 02:20
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yeah I eat rear end posted:come on, at the early climax you had the perfect opportunity for him to say the movie name. But he says "it's a zombie tsunami" and not tidal wave. What a missed opportunity. Zombie Tsunami is also a better title
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Aug 18, 2019 02:23
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Len posted:Zombie Tsunami is also a better title Agreed. But I wouldn't be surprised if that was taken so they had to go with tidal wave.
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Aug 18, 2019 02:31
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Samuringa posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sxz-Y-c2UUc it even came out on april first, what
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Aug 18, 2019 02:53
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I’m not a bad movie fanatic but there’s some fun ones out there. One of my favorites is American Cyborg: Steel Warrior. I was able to call the dramatic beats every time
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Aug 18, 2019 05:30
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yeah I eat rear end posted:The first one is a pretty decent movie, but I feel like the Bring it On sequels belong in this thread because, honestly, they are terrible, but I've made it a point just for the sake of completion to watch all of them. I found out today there is a 2017 sequel I missed called Bring It On: Worldwide #Cheersmack, featuring spooky mask wearing cheerleaders hacking in to routine transmissions to do whatever a cheersmack is. The twist is the most obvious one ever, the international cheersmack competition means nothing in the end (e: technically it does but it's all about the main group and the masked ones, the international teams are just filler), there's a knockoff banksy over the top anti-social media love interest, it's just bad but at the same time I can't hate it. I didn't choose the cheer life, the cheer life chose me.
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Aug 18, 2019 05:37
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Agreed. But I wouldn't be surprised if that was taken so they had to go with tidal wave. It was taken by a videogame and a boardgame.
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Aug 18, 2019 13:53
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So I have never seen a Sharknado movie. Hulu has The Last Sharknado: It's About Time and the screenshot they show has a woman wearing a suit of armor, white man with a chainsaw, a cowgirl, sharks, a tornado, and a dinosaur. Is this a series I should actually watch?
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Aug 18, 2019 18:30
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Len posted:So I have never seen a Sharknado movie. I feel like: if you have to ask, after that description, the answer is probably no.
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Aug 18, 2019 21:46
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 Movie poster like this it could be very very good Or very very bad
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Aug 18, 2019 22:11
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The cowgirl is Tara Reid, so...
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Aug 18, 2019 22:42
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Didn't she have some super awkward interview where she said she thinks a Sharknado could actually happen?
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Aug 18, 2019 22:53
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I don't think I've ever seen a Tara Reid movie. The only thing I know about her is that a girl I knew in high school broke her computer downloading "Tara Reid porn" from limewire
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Aug 18, 2019 23:00
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Len posted:So I have never seen a Sharknado movie. I mean, I've said a couple times I don't like them, but it's really just bitterness that this series as opposed to ones I liked better got such mainstream success. They are objectively funny movies even if they try super hard to be wacky. I've been watching the 4th one on syfy for the past couple hours, and they've somehow convinced me that a sandsharknado, bouldernado, oilnado, firenado, lightningnado, and now a nuclearnado are things that make sense (thanks to explanations provided by Gilbert Gottfried, weatherman). Also the sharks can be batted away with tennis rackets and a guy "surfs" down a tornado in a car by opening doors at certain times, kind of like an aerial tokyo drifting. They're fun. Not "good", but fun. I'm not sure i'd recommend watching the last one first though. You'll miss out on a lot of lore. yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 23:47 on Aug 18, 2019 |
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Aug 18, 2019 23:45
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Roar!! Tippi Hedren and her producer husband live in a house filled with 150+ lions, tigers, and other big cats. This was intended, in real life, to raise awareness about wildlife. It is exuberant madness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fPC7-hbijA&t=1125s
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Aug 18, 2019 23:56
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Len posted:I don't think I've ever seen a Tara Reid movie. The only thing I know about her is that a girl I knew in high school broke her computer downloading "Tara Reid porn" from limewire Josie and the Pussycats is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.
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Aug 19, 2019 01:12
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Bad animated movies are 100% my poo poo To that end, I'm currently watching Food Fight and it is excruciating
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Aug 19, 2019 04:18
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Riatsala posted:Bad animated movies are 100% my poo poo I'm the proud owner of a DVD edition of Titanic: the Animated Movie, upon which is featured this excellent musical number: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxHNztg0X3s
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Aug 19, 2019 04:56
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muscles like this! posted:Speaking of bad sequels, did you know that they made an entire series based on the Statham Death Race movie? Alternatively, Roger Corman did a sequel to his original Death Race 2000: DEATH RACE 2050 And holy hell I loved the utter poo poo out of it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjiPfRwSTWs
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Aug 19, 2019 13:37
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Pastry of the Year posted:Josie and the Pussycats is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.  holy frick I forgot this existed THANK YOOOOOOU
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Aug 19, 2019 13:42
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:I'm the proud owner of a DVD edition of Titanic: the Animated Movie, upon which is featured this excellent musical number: It's like someone watched the Poochie episode and didn't realize that it was supposed to be satire.
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Aug 19, 2019 15:45
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Vanilla Ice’s Cool as Ice is my favourite bad movie. It’s an appalling movie but actually a lot of fun to be honest. It’s about Vanilla Ice playing a “character” who is clearly supposed to be him who gets stranded in a small town after his motor bike breaks down. Whilst he’s there he stalks a teenage girl even going as far as to break into her house at one point to surprise her in her bedroom. The girl’s dad is getting black mailed by some corrupt cops, this is one of the main plot drivers. Which is weird really because Vanilla Ice spends almost the whole movie oblivious to the blackmail plot because as soon as he catches wind of it he immediately jumps onto his motor bike, drives over to where the bad guys are hiding out and kicks the poo poo out of them. It’s like in the writing process they decided that it would be unrealistic for VI to have trouble stopping these goons, so decided to just keep him out of it for as long as possible. Oh also it has the same Director of Photography as Schindler’s List. (Janusz Kamiński)
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Aug 19, 2019 17:05
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Echoing Rock and Roll Nightmare, that ending is a masterpiece of a completely out of left field nonsense ending.
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Aug 19, 2019 17:40
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Southland tales is not a good movie but man I'm glad it was made.
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Aug 19, 2019 21:34
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