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Anything by Frank D'Angelo. No Depo$it and Sicilian Vampire are good ones to start with. Long story short, D'Angelo is a Toronto restaurant owner who made a pile of money running an energy drink company (he also made that awful Steelback Beer some Canada Goons might remember). He's been using that wealth to make god awful movies starring himself for years. The kicker is he somehow manages to get actual well known actors in them. Like, imagine if Tommy Wiseau was able to cast actors like James Caan, Martin Landau, Michael Madsen, and Darryl Hannah in The Room. The writing is just as bad, the sets are awful, and the camerawork is just confusing. They're drat good bad movie night fodder.
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Aug 19, 2019 22:23
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylOJpRN6AtY Gamebox 1.0 - all the technical wizardry of War Games combined with what a coked-up 90s movie exec thought cyberpunk meant.
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Aug 20, 2019 23:08
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Pureflix is really hounding me to start my free trial (I started signing up a few days ago but fell asleep before entering my credit card). I'm going to give in and finally be pure...
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Aug 21, 2019 23:10
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oh my god they have a subscription service???
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Aug 21, 2019 23:22
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:oh my god they have a subscription service??? I thought that's what you were talking about before, I googled pure flix and it says i get a free month. Is there some other way to access it?
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Aug 21, 2019 23:34
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As far as I knew they were just a regular rear end (but Christian) movie studio  I just
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Aug 22, 2019 00:44
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:As far as I knew they were just a regular rear end (but Christian) movie studio well, i'm going to start my trial and pray that I don't forget to cancel it before my free month is over (I probably will, and the "being a paid subscriber to pureflix" mark will always be upon my soul).
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Aug 22, 2019 00:47
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pure_Flix#Productions_and_distributions I'd never heard of PureFlix before, although I did enjoy God's Not Dead, but holy moly that is quite a list of prime poo poo movie entertainment.
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Aug 22, 2019 00:54
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yeah I eat rear end posted:well, i'm going to start my trial and pray that I don't forget to cancel it before my free month is over (I probably will, and the "being a paid subscriber to pureflix" mark will always be upon my soul). I think that gets you right into Heaven though
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Aug 22, 2019 00:54
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I paid money to see this poo poo in a theater. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0EhO7KCfu8
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Aug 23, 2019 07:32
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I think the worst movie I ever saw in theatres was The Unborn. The most boring horror movie ever, even the jumpscares failed to make me jump.
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Aug 23, 2019 07:45
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I've seen a lot of bad movies but I can only recall one that made me physically ill. That would be Nothing but Trouble. Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd and John Candy in a sort of comedic take on The Hills Have Eyes. Looking it up on IMDB it seems to have developed a cult following, so maybe I missed something, but that's fine.
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Aug 23, 2019 08:06
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BioEnchanted posted:I think the worst movie I ever saw in theatres was The Unborn. The most boring horror movie ever, even the jumpscares failed to make me jump. This movie is only in my memory because it has one of the dumbest sounding "this is supposed to be scary" lines I've heard: "Jumby wants to be born now". give the demon baby a respectable name, not "jumby", come on. If a demon crawls its way out of hell and says "hi guys i'm jumby hail satan" everyones just going to laugh at him.
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Aug 23, 2019 11:18
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Scott Lame posted:I've seen a lot of bad movies but I can only recall one that made me physically ill. That would be Nothing but Trouble. Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd and John Candy in a sort of comedic take on The Hills Have Eyes. Looking it up on IMDB it seems to have developed a cult following, so maybe I missed something, but that's fine. It is probably most known for being one of the earliest appearances of 2Pac (he cameos as a dancer for Digital Underground who for some reason performs a song in the movie).
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Aug 23, 2019 14:32
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Titanic: The Legend Continues... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFZE7m-nhJA
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Aug 23, 2019 23:37
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So I set up pureflix on my TV (it's kind of weird how they call all their movies "assets" instead of "movies") finally and chose to watch "Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End" first, to keep the tone light in the morning. I feel like it's supposed to be kind of like Mad Max, except during the rapture and it's also terrible? There's a bunch of (apparently redneck) bikers and the leader, "Hawg", likes to bash brave christians on the head with a comically oversized hammer. Now the husband refuses to pray with his wife on the phone, which apparently is triggering armageddon. This is great. There's apparently 4 of these things.
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Aug 24, 2019 15:06
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Scott Lame posted:I've seen a lot of bad movies but I can only recall one that made me physically ill. That would be Nothing but Trouble. Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd and John Candy in a sort of comedic take on The Hills Have Eyes. Looking it up on IMDB it seems to have developed a cult following, so maybe I missed something, but that's fine. Sonofabitch this wasn't a fever dream in 5th grade? Queen-Of-Hearts has a new favorite as of 15:25 on Aug 24, 2019 |
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Aug 24, 2019 15:23
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Scott Lame posted:I've seen a lot of bad movies but I can only recall one that made me physically ill. That would be Nothing but Trouble. Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd and John Candy in a sort of comedic take on The Hills Have Eyes. Looking it up on IMDB it seems to have developed a cult following, so maybe I missed something, but that's fine. Ackroyd and Belushi did a movie called Neighbors. They decided to flip the characters by having Belushi playing a normal guy and Ackroyd as the wacky neighbor. It was....not good. The only funny scene (to me) was Belushi dry shaving with his wife's Flicker razor. After painfully scraping away at his face, he slaps on some aftershave.
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Aug 24, 2019 16:37
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yeah I eat rear end posted:So I set up pureflix on my TV (it's kind of weird how they call all their movies "assets" instead of "movies") finally and chose to watch "Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End" first, to keep the tone light in the morning. 
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Aug 24, 2019 16:51
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The way they portray the rapture is so corny, like there are tons of light balls (the raptured people) that just sprout out of the oceans, like uniformly spread across the globe. I wasn't aware we had so many aquatic christians on earth. also the head biker named his hammer "vengeance". I am going to be upset if good guy ex-military super soldier doesn't pick it up after being "saved" and say "vengeance is mine saith the lord" and bashing him on the head before joining the rest of the light balls. e: I guess I have to wait for the sequel to find out yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 17:01 on Aug 24, 2019 |
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Aug 24, 2019 16:56
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yeah I eat rear end posted:The way they portray the rapture is so corny, like there are tons of light balls (the raptured people) that just sprout out of the oceans, like uniformly spread across the globe. I wasn't aware we had so many aquatic christians on earth. So long and thanks for all the Jesus fish.
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Aug 24, 2019 17:53
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can we take a moment to admire this guy's hat (only picture I could find of it no idea who the dude on the left is): is wearing your hat like that actually a thing or is it only in post-apocalyptic anti-christian outlaw biker gangs?
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Aug 24, 2019 18:03
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This is not really in the spirit of this thread, but the two worst films I have ever seen, are Mr. Wrong starring a still-closeted Ellen DeGeneres, and The Pallbearer, which was David Schwimmer from Friend's attempt to become a cinematic leading man. Both are indescribably awful. Not in a fun-bad way, but in the way that only unfunny comedies can be.
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Aug 24, 2019 18:16
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BrigadierSensible posted:This is not really in the spirit of this thread, but the two worst films I have ever seen, are Mr. Wrong starring a still-closeted Ellen DeGeneres, and The Pallbearer, which was David Schwimmer from Friend's attempt to become a cinematic leading man. Terrible is terrible, it all belongs here imho. If I can find some time to squeeze them in between pureflix movies i'll check them out, because I can't just take someone else's word for it that they are terrible, that would be irresponsible. yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 18:24 on Aug 24, 2019 |
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Aug 24, 2019 18:20
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 I felt compelled to pause the movie and share this ridiculous scene, in which an evil biker tries to joust with a car with his trusty hammer.
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Aug 24, 2019 18:29
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I don't think I'll ever get over how truly awful the Matrix sequels were. To be fair, Revolutions might pick up in the second half, I just never made it that far. Can't think of that many really terrible films I've seen. Ultraviolet was disappointing because Equilibrium was loving brilliant and Ultraviolet was very average. Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever was atrocious.
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Aug 24, 2019 20:50
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Ultraviolet is goofy because they cut out an important plot point so the story ends up not making sense (becoming a vampire is supposed to drastically shorten your lifespan which the movie never actually mentions so it seems like there's no drawback to being infected.)
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Aug 24, 2019 21:38
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yeah I eat rear end posted:can we take a moment to admire this guy's hat (only picture I could find of it no idea who the dude on the left is): SOUL COLLECTOR
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Aug 25, 2019 02:36
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:SOUL COLLECTOR I failed making it through all 4 yesterday, i'll be starting 3 soon. I have a feeling mr. SOUL COLLECTOR is going to have a major role in the next 2. He was basically the 2nd in command to Hawg, and Hawg and his "queen" have found jesus once more. This stunning turn of events occurred because while the hero was b eating Hawg with a pipe, he noticed Hawg was wearing a cross necklace and stopped short before delivering the killing blow and started giving him a sermon, and last we see Hawg he is on the side of the road clinging to his cross and crying. I'm also questioning God's judgement a little with picking this guy in particular to be the chosen one. He's basically driving across the country on a killing spree and God keeps sending people to die to protect him. Like the daughter of the shopkeeper in the first one who asked him if he believed the bullet proof vest he was buying would protect him more than God, and of course he says "I trust the vest". Then in the second one the daughter gets left behind from the rapture because God, in the form of some dude by a campfire, tells her she has a job, which is to dive in front of the protagonist while wearing said vest, which doesn't work, and before she dies she says "you were wrong. about the vest. it was God all along, i'm glad I had to die just to prove you wrong, idiot" (paraphrased). It was just weird to have a callback to a line from the other movie. I feel like they are being presumptuous that people are going to watch all 4.
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Aug 25, 2019 13:27
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yeah I eat rear end posted:I failed making it through all 4 yesterday, i'll be starting 3 soon. I have a feeling mr. SOUL COLLECTOR is going to have a major role in the next 2. He was basically the 2nd in command to Hawg, and Hawg and his "queen" have found jesus once more. This stunning turn of events occurred because while the hero was b eating Hawg with a pipe, he noticed Hawg was wearing a cross necklace and stopped short before delivering the killing blow and started giving him a sermon, and last we see Hawg he is on the side of the road clinging to his cross and crying. Oh my god they are chapters, it's Christian John Wick.
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Aug 25, 2019 14:13
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Riatsala posted:Bad animated movies are 100% my poo poo You asked for it...  National Lampoon Presents Jake’s Booty Call Trailer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqMFrk4GWWw This thing has the dubious distinction of being the first animated feature made entirely in Flash, back when the software was still owned by Macromedia. It was adapted from a fairly popular interactive Flash game from the early aughts where you guide Jake the “pimp” through scenes and help him spit game and have sex with women. His lines are all cringe inducing like what a cliche frat boy thinks a black pimp talks like, and says things like “fo sheezy” a lot. The original flash game was kind of funny, the character designs and drawing style were appropriately lovely in a way that worked for what it was. But when they got the bright idea to make a full length movie out of it, they gave Jake and all supporting characters a hideous overwrought comic book makeover where he has the same creepy poo poo eating grin plastered on his face the entire time, and all the animation has that stiff and floaty Flash look. It’s like watching an old school banner ad for 77 minutes. The titles of the YouTube clips say 2007 but it came out in 2003. It never had a proper theatrical release outside of a few college campuses. It is only available on DVD as far as I know. It’s also on YouTube in chunks, but part 1 seems to be missing. Suitable only for masochists. Here’s an excerpt to give you an idea what you’re in for https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIxeavBYyME This ancient review says it much better than I could https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=14532&reviewer=392 Ralph Hurley has a new favorite as of 21:14 on Aug 26, 2019 |
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Aug 26, 2019 03:37
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https://film.avclub.com/how-can-you-not-check-out-a-movie-called-the-velocipast-1837383938 I feel like everyone in this thread needs to watch this movie immediately. For the love of God, just look at the final fight scene that's embedded in the article.
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Aug 26, 2019 16:51
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rydiafan posted:https://film.avclub.com/how-can-you-not-check-out-a-movie-called-the-velocipast-1837383938 Didn't need to, I was sold just by the title. I didn't even read the description and i'm going to spend $3.99 to rent this when I get the time, unless there's a free (legal, don't want to velociSin) way to watch it.
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Aug 26, 2019 21:11
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rydiafan posted:https://film.avclub.com/how-can-you-not-check-out-a-movie-called-the-velocipast-1837383938 my god
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Aug 27, 2019 01:19
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My favorite part is the description when you google it:quote:After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Although he is horrified by the new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. Like the first sentence is great enough, but the second is like "ok now, this has to be too good to be true". How did I go from 2017 until now and never heard of this? Why isn't there an entire line of movies of monsterPastor? sharkpastor, demonpastor, octopastor, crocopastor, the possibilities are endless.
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Aug 27, 2019 01:23
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RT says it only came out two weeks ago. That's how!
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Aug 27, 2019 01:25
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yeah I eat rear end posted:My favorite part is the description when you google it: Because it didn't actually come out in 2017
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Aug 27, 2019 01:26
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 i am so confused yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 01:29 on Aug 27, 2019 |
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Aug 27, 2019 01:27
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A lot of low budget movies are "released" at some festival and then pick up a distribution deal and then a slightly larger theater run and then a home video release a year or more later.
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Aug 27, 2019 02:35
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LOTTO: A MODERN DAY TALE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pxc-hJ5sB5A I've had this movie sitting on my hard drive for years and I have not been able to bring myself to crack the seal
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Aug 27, 2019 15:42
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