Politics & Wars: Come check out all the better games we play

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Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

What is Politics & War?

Politics & War is a free to play browser based political simulator in the same vein as CyberNations. Launched in 2014 it allows you to create a country and govern it as you see fit. You can interact with other players in very simple, awkwardly designed interfaces to trade or even to engage in war. There is a robust, player driven political metagame that fuels the various global conflicts between alliances of nations and blocs of alliances.

The creator & admin of the game actively adds new projects, rewards, and other interfaces to the game to avoid the hilariously slow decline that CyberNations had (has?).

There's even an app so you can check your spreadsheet nation on the go:

Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.httpspoliticsandwar.politicsandwar&hl=en_US
iOS: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/politics-war/id1247351838

Okay, so why should I play, and what does GOONS offer me? What can you do in this game?

Communism: It just works. GOONS will provide you with any and all resources you need to be competitive at your level.
Bashing Fash and Other Assorted Nasties: Naturally, this game has drawn its fair share of Nazis, CHUDs, and pedos seeking to fulfill their lovely fantasies. The primary mission of GOONS is to kick over all of their sand castles and send them crying to their mommies. Come do your part.
Market Tracking and Automation: GOONS has its own tools, made by goons, for goons, for tracking market trends, resource amounts of alliance members, wars we're involved in, and much, much more! These tools offer a greatly streamlined game experience where all the boring stuff is taken care of for you, leaving you free to kick the stuffing out of Nazis.
~~Cookie Clicker~~ Baseball: With the right setup, you can make millions of dongs in minutes without even paying attention. GOONS has the right setup. Just log in, turn on the TV, click a few hundred times, and get rich.
Pubbie Tears: The GOONS alliance is two months old. In that time, we have skyrocketed past alliances that have been around for years to #15 on the global leaderboard. The rise has been nothing short of meteoric and shows no signs of stopping, and the veterans are not at all happy about it. Help us embarrass them and drink of their sorrow. There's plenty to go around.

Alright, I'll play, now what?

Use one of the referral links below:

https://politicsandwar.com/register/ref=Comrade+Marx
https://politicsandwar.com/register/ref=Sardonic
https://politicsandwar.com/register/ref=ComradeMilton
https://politicsandwar.com/register/ref=JT+Jag

Registering and creating your nation is very easy. If you can't figure it out then ask in the thread. For those of you smart people who can, remember these things when signing up:

GET ON DISCORD! Most of what you need to know will be explained there.
Currency should be bus tokens or dongs, I shouldn�t have to explain this joke anymore.
Select South America for your location!! . Go hog wild.

I am now the God Emperor Hosef Byden of the Communist States of America. What next?

Well you join GOONS, of course! You need to apply ingame here: https://politicsandwar.com//alliance/id=5968 and join our discord here: https://discord.gg/tDaeUqz All that's required is a link to your Something Awful forum account and the ability to fill out a short form with information we need.

I hope you found this OP useful in determining whether or not you want to play this game, and that it helped you get involved easier if you have. Veteran players of this game will be around in this thread to answer any questions you have and to provide help should you need it. While this game can seem overwhelming at first, I assure you that it is in fact very simple and easy to play. I will be keeping this thread updated and will gladly answer any questions you may have.

The next post will be about setting up your nation so that you can :siren:

Almost Instantly! :siren:

begin spreading grief to the masses while obliterating pixels.

Link Compendium:

DISCORD JOIN THE DISCORD! It has links to everything you need. Participating in the Discord at least semi-regularly is MANDATORY!

WIKI All the beginners' guides are here to help you get started easily.

Astryl fucked around with this message at 02:08 on Jan 13, 2020

# ¿ Sep 1, 2019 22:36

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 08:09

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

If you ever played CyberNations and never got to nuke Sardonic, this may be your last chance!

(hint: his nation link is in the OP if you want to nuke him)

So to make this as easy as possible, we�ve made a step by step guide on how to make your last pixel nation.

Register for the game following one of the links in the OP
Join the discord :effort:

https://discord.gg/u9m8aDG

Once you�ve registered, God Emperor, you�ll need to go through a few prompts, deciding on things like policy issues, national flag, motto, & map location:

Once this is done, and you�ve applied to GOONS ingame, we�ll get you masked on discord and funded up instantly so that you can begin raiding and pirating your way down the coast of Mt. Dickburn right now.

Astryl fucked around with this message at 03:56 on Nov 1, 2019

# ¿ Sep 1, 2019 22:42

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Dilber posted:

I'm not sure if Nation simulators are my thing.

I don't think you would be good at them anyways.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2019 05:02

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

This game is actually a communist paradise, make your utopia today and help fund the Greater GOONland Co-Prosperity Sphere.

Hajj Podge posted:

Have you made anyone eat dog food yet?

I have reserved this honor specifically for Methrage.

# ¿ Sep 5, 2019 23:54

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

neogeo0823 posted:

Is this the reason I got an email asking if I was interested in returning for CNGoons stuff? I gather this game's got the same "15 minutes a day" kinda thing going on as CN did, so that might get me back into this kinda stuff, at least for a bit. What's a typical day in the game gonna look like for a newbie that recently signed up?

Yes.

You login, look at your revenue screen to make sure everything is running well, if you are raiding you check your wars, log out.

Hanging out in discord with former cngoons is the majority of the game.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2019 00:47

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Aesculus posted:

If you want to have fun and continue having fun in this game never build above 10 cities/1k NS. Only developed alliances live there and they don't even PM you saying that it's WORLD WAR THREE because you raided them.

Also Is CN dead yet?

Yeah I'm funding most goons up to around 8 cities 1k so they can raid aggressively. Come play aes, or at least hang out on discord with us.

Unfortunately not.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2019 16:57

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

We're currently using the API (totally legally) to introduce price fixing for resources.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2019 16:41

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

A good baseball team is the very definition of a nation state.

# ¿ Sep 9, 2019 17:04

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

The best part of this game is that fact that pubbies will come into our discord, proceed to get angry about the word "goons" then DM you to tell you about yourself.

There is also a nazi weeb alliance full of literally poo poo head nazis that post asinine hitler memes & will one day be ripe for destruction.

E: We also have a raid bot in the discord so that you can use the games API to pull stats about possible raid targets and only pick the juiciest available nations.

Basically this is easy mode CN.

Astryl fucked around with this message at 04:24 on Sep 11, 2019

# ¿ Sep 11, 2019 04:20

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

We're such a delight to play with.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2019 01:05

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

You will get 100x more enjoyment out of this game if you join the discord.

# ¿ Sep 15, 2019 12:06

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

neogeo0823 posted:

2nd'ed There's tons of discussion and poo poo going on in the discord. Last night alone, we recruited a pubby(we'll see how long he lasts), had birb chat, made some avatars, built more bot scripts to make things easier, delved into playing the market(seemingly backwards to me, but apparently simple enough for a couple goons to make millions over the weekend), scouted some alliances that we can work towards hitting in the near-term, and generally just had some chill time talking. it's a pretty good vibe and group in there right now.

How could we not let him in with high quality art like this:

# ¿ Sep 15, 2019 13:17

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

There's also two different casino minigames.

Which supposedly can be cheated with math.

# ¿ Sep 17, 2019 21:13

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

This weekend's test of our skynet system is mostly likely going to result in the destruction of an unaligned pubbie alliance. :rms:

# ¿ Sep 19, 2019 20:19

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Our automated war bot is active, join the game, buy some cities, and ask SKYNET nicely for a pubbie to raid.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ¿ Sep 21, 2019 01:15

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

We mass raided a pubbie alliance, joined their discord, and messed up their counting game. Until one of their members point out that Roman numerals are technically correct. At which point we are all promptly kick banned from their discord, at some time after this the leader of the pubbie alliance went to every alliance he knew people in, to have us stop.

A short while later, we've been paid money to stop attacking this alliance and causing his man due amounts of stress.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ¿ Sep 21, 2019 15:02

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Sekenr posted:

What if I run out of uranium?

You'll automatically be sent more.

Control Volume posted:

Lots of good memories from that game. Its hard to top destroying the game server with Mechahitler. I shant join this one though, I dont have the patience or assholishness for this style of game to be fun anymore

Luckily we're all old and not that level of assholes anymore, but this game has plenty of Nazis to blow up.

# ¿ Sep 24, 2019 16:43

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

JT Jag posted:

Play Politics and War, join GOONS, make people so mad they spend real life money to spite you

Best part is he's spending real life money to lose.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2019 00:46

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

super sweet best pal posted:

This sounds like fun. Can't wait to start getting hate mail.

It was a tough call between Buddy Holly and John Denver for my Air Force leader's name

I now have a burning desire to name my air force's leader D. B. Cooper.

# ¿ Sep 29, 2019 14:14

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Stay beige until we can boost you out of range of idiot nazi raiders. :siren:

Also get on discord, because then we can boost you faster and you can coordinate w/ your fellow browser game friends.

# ¿ Sep 30, 2019 01:14

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Make sure to fly the flag of our communist commune.

Alternatively our gently caress nazis flag:

Astryl fucked around with this message at 00:51 on Oct 1, 2019

# ¿ Oct 1, 2019 00:49

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Deadmeat5150 posted:

That's why we have production teams. It's much more beneficial to focus. You should only be making food.

Literally never ever make food.

# ¿ Oct 1, 2019 17:07

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

I wonder if we can bug the admin of the game to add a soccer meta game.

# ¿ Oct 2, 2019 03:16

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

We're literally about to stage a post update blitz against another alliance (the second one in two days), try to be on and get in the discord if possible.

War decs start at 8:15pm EST

:rms:

# ¿ Oct 3, 2019 00:02

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

GOONS hasn't been this good at browser games in years. Join today and punch a nazi.

# ¿ Oct 3, 2019 02:25

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Deadmeat5150 posted:

Typhoid Mary Brown

I suddenly have a desire to change the alliance's color.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2019 10:46

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

I am so bad at baseball :ohdear:

# ¿ Oct 5, 2019 02:51

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Marxalot posted:

The forums for this game are in a pretty dire state. There's also another thread about K2 curing alzheimers and or cancer or some poo poo, I ti;dr'd it hard.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2019 17:00

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

https://politicsandwar.com/world/color/voting/

If you're playing, click this link, vote to name the black team name to "BLACK Lives Matter" so we can watch the nazis and idiots out themselves.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2019 22:04

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

The man called M posted:

What does MDoAP mean? Are we allowed to attack those alliances or not?

Mutual Defense and Optional Aggression Pact.

No, do not attack those alliances. If you get on discord and type !skynet you'll be given targets.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2019 18:46

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Blister posted:

Trying to join the goon discord, but the invite is invalid, can I get an updated link so I can have goons accept my buttehole nation

https://discord.gg/tDaeUqz

This link should get you there.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2019 21:24

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Bot issues should be fixed, seemed to result from people reacting to another person's %apply

# ¿ Oct 8, 2019 17:10

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

We're streamlining some of the onboarding to make it easier. We didn't expect so many of you to play.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2019 17:45

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Iamgoofball posted:

does anyone know how to de-auth with the goon discord network bot and auth it on a new account? need to switch the discord account linked to my account because those nazis we got banned for being literal pedophiles weren't terribly happy with me outing their guy

also heads up dont post anything about bashing fash in our public channels, you can totally get a discord-service perma easy for "violent threats"

Once you get in the discord ping gov and we'll make it happen

# ¿ Oct 13, 2019 21:56

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

The man called M posted:

What's the best way to make money? My cites are out of power, and I don't have enough money to get Infrastructure to get more power plants.

Baseball if you're blockaded. Otherwise ping someone in gov in discord and we'll get you some funding.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2019 19:24

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Sassy Sasquatch posted:

Don't give too many details here, I think this guy is a spy.

I have been outed.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2019 23:41

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

This is a baseball sim.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2019 23:11

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Julius CSAR posted:

I just logged on again and do people use bots to send out alliance invitations? Because I've got a ton of messages from anime monarchists and it's like... did you loving look at my nation?

Yes, that and they offer pubbies free money to join.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2019 06:58

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

GOONS gov has been hard at work, we're centralizing automation, the alliance overview, and etc.
We're all working on getting all the guides and relevant information onto an easy to read wiki so that some of the confusion around old guides being pinned in the discord channels goes away.

I have been working on pretty websites to watch everything you do. :stare:

# ¿ Oct 20, 2019 20:39

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 08:09

Astryl: Feb 1, 2005; "15,000 hours of Diablo II isn't that much, dweeb."

Keep pissing him off with baseball until he gets booted from NPO if you want him to get EoG'd

# ¿ Oct 20, 2019 23:27

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