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cop: HEY YOU STOP me: *perks up, looks around and lays face down on the concrete with my hands behind my back, big grin on my face* cop: *runs past me to get to the real perp* me: 
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Sep 3, 2019 23:21
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| # ¿ May 28, 2024 23:34 |
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cop: please sir could you point to the perpetrator sir: *points to me in the line-up* cop: ...s-sir, y-you're telling me *stifles laugh* THAT guy crimed? cop: CARL, get in here, you gotta get a load of who this guy thinks crimes!
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Sep 3, 2019 23:23
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getting dragged away kicking and screaming from a "my life matters" protest outside the cop station
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Sep 3, 2019 23:49
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I walk into the cop bar cop 1: Heyyyy everybody look who just walked in, it's our number one perp! My eyes light up cop 2: Hey perp! I can't believe it me: I have been perpetrating crimes including arson and petty theft for literal years and you are finally recognizing my achievement cop 1: Just a big ol perp! Perp-etually a friggin nerd cop 2: boo ya
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Sep 4, 2019 03:34
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google THIS posted:Cop: (vaguely waving his baton at me) Stop existing. hands up, don't care
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Sep 4, 2019 18:01
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