- Party Plane Jones
- Jul 1, 2007
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by Reene
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Fun Shoe
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Time for some  rule changes and new policies in this thread going forward.
- The rule that all probations must be three days or longer is being lifted. It will now be entirely possible to catch a sixer or dayprobe in this thread. On the other hand, this means that probations will be handed out more often than before. In the past, a lot of low-level rulebreaking tended to go overlooked here just because it really wasn't worth giving a whole three days for. With sixers back in the toolbox, the threshold for taking mod action is going to get noticeably lower. This will hopefully catch a lot of the low-intensity trolling and habitual shitposting that people got away with before.
- We're also officially implementing a popular D&D rule suggestion here: ramping up probation lengths for repeat offenders. Someone who keeps doing the same poo poo over and over no matter how many times they get probed for it will find that they'll be getting longer and longer probes for the same behavior, and if they still keep doing it then their punishment could eventually ramp up to a thread ban or actual bans.
- If someone disagrees with you on something, do not immediately jump to calling them a paid shill, a troll, or too stupid to live. As 2020 inches closer, we're getting more and more visitors who just don't pay that much attention to politics and aren't necessarily up-to-date on every single thing that's happened in the last several months of early primary jockeying. I'm going to try to update the OP to get things more up-to-date on the current state of the primary and what candidates have been up to, but just the same, we're going to get a lot of people who don't really know what's going on besides what they saw in a few media articles. Cut them a little slack, it's hard for people who aren't politics junkies to keep up with the race, especially with how many lies and flip-flops most of the field have been up to lately.
- If you think someone is definitely a troll or otherwise posting in bad faith, then there's not really any point in engaging with them further, so please don't - getting into a big fight with them just makes it more difficult to sort out. I'd encourage you to notify D&D staff using reports or PMs, but even if you don't have plat, this thread has a IK that reads it regularly, so most things will get caught when a member of the D&D mod team has time to take a look.
- D&D is not C-SPAM. They're very different forums with different purposes, rules, and posting styles. While C-SPAM posters are welcome in D&D, please keep in mind that there are many things that are allowed in C-SPAM but are not allowed here in D&D. We have no problem with people posting in both D&D and C-SPAM, but please keep the significant rules differences in mind and adapt your posting style to where you're posting. C-SPAM is fun as hell, but D&D is not a FYAD-lite and it's never going to be one. We're not going to rigorously police your capitalization and punctuation usage or anything like that, but endlessly shitposting white noise garbage is going to be clamped down on.
- Keep the wildly hyperbolic insults in check just a little, please? If someone's greatest sin is thinking that political polls are reliable or believing that mainstream national newspapers only publish true things in their opinion section, then they're just stupid or uninformed, not a fascist or a sociopath.
- No talk in this thread about who you'll vote for in the general election if a given candidate wins or loses. Yes, I know that each and every one of the thread regulars have primary candidates that they really hate. But nothing seems to cause more meltdowns here than talking about what happens after the primary, which is kind of out of scope for this thread anyway. You can have all the nightmares you want about what happens if it ends up being your least favorite candidate vs Trump, but don't talk about them here or you're going to cat jail. Talk about it in some other thread, like this one.
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The 2020 Democratic Primaries are an utter clowncar poo poo show. A number of candidates are running, and most of them are jokes. Here is a quick summary of what happened at the first two debates (which were necessary because the qualifications were so low that about 20 candidates qualified):
Winners: Kamala Harris, Elizabeth Warren, Marianne Williamson (lmao)
Improvement: Cory Booker, Julian Castro
Held Steady: Bernie Sanders
Owned: Robert Francis O'Rourke, Pete Buttigieg
Murdered on Live Television: Joe Biden
Irrelevant: everyone else
https://twitter.com/GoogleTrends/status/1144084843115896832
https://twitter.com/GoogleTrends/status/1144444773173907456
quote:Summary of the candidates
Joe Biden
You've heard about this guy. But if you only started paying attention to politics over the last decade, you've probably heard about the guy who stood next to Obama doing nothing for eight years while the Onion invented a parody character based on him. Unfortunately, that's not the Joe Biden who's running for president. The Joe Biden who's running for president is the Joe Biden who opposed anti-segregation busing, the Joe Biden who made student loans bankruptcy-proof, the Joe Biden who gave Strom Thurmond's eulogy, the Joe Biden who invades womens' personal space without consent at every opportunity, the Joe Biden who ran twice for president only to fail miserably both times, and the Joe Biden who still defends all of that and insists that he's never done anything wrong in his entire life. His primary campaign platform is based on working with Republicans, and he's openly declared that he's convinced that Mitch McConnell will work with him to pass bipartisan progressive legislation.
Despite many stupid moves, ranging from racism to praising Republicans to being unable to remember the names of anyone who entered politics after 2000 (including a certain former President), he's the frontrunner by a wide margin right now, to the dismay of pretty much everyone left of Bush, and most of the candidates are gunning for him right now.
Bernie Sanders
The guy everyone either loves to love or loves to hate, the independent self-proclaimed socialist Senator from Vermont who challenged Clinton in 2016 needs no introduction. He's been the fairly consistent #2 in polls, and unlike Biden, his speech performance hasn't declined despite his age or his recent heart attack. He's also the only one who's still sticking to Medicare For All; most of the other candidates that supported it have noticeably drifting right on healthcare as the elections draw closer. Everyone knows who this guy is, and I'm sure there'll be plenty of talk about him.
Elizabeth Warren
A Harvard-educated lawyer, professor, and Massachusetts senator, she's most famous for her pro-consumer advocacy and being the driving force between the creation of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. Her history as a Republican who changed parties in the 90s and her openly identifying as a capitalist have made it difficult to win over the leftists and socialists most likely to support her pro-consumer economic policies. On top of that, her campaign has made a lot of dumb moves, such as putting a list of negative rumors about her on her website, and advising her to take a DNA test to see if she really had Native American ancestry that could be used to justify her identifying as a native for much of her life.
She briefly rose to frontrunner status on the strength of her closer ties to establishment figures and the perception that she was a more electable leftist, but her polls have been in freefall since she essentially abandoned Medicare For All and watered down most of her other left-leaning policies.
Pete Buttigieg
The Harvard-educated mayor of South Bend, Indiana, this guy has been treated as a young Democratic rising star for a couple years now. He's reasonably charismatic and the media absolutely loves him, but he has a preference for talking inspirational fluff rather than politics, and he doesn't have much of a political record to look at. Is gay and married. His support has been surging in recent months as he's largely stolen Beto's role, but his base is overwhelmingly white so far.
A number of serious racism scandals in South Bend have thrown his failure to win over minorities into the spotlight, and the fact that big billionaire donors have largely rallied around him has drawn him a lot of fire from the candidates that have rejected billionaire donations.
Andrew Yang
A serial entrepeneur and venture capitalist, this is his first entry into politics. Even though he's an East Coaster, his policies are about what you'd expect from a Silicon Valley character. He often identifies the problems facing society, only to come up with solutions that are either badly flawed or downright stupid, like combating bad laws by passing a Constitutional amendment forcing all laws to have an automatic expiration date. Unfortunately, the demographic he's been most successful with are extremely online conservatives, who love his meme-heavy campaign and his inclination to talk about the problems most politicians tend to ignore (like AI and automation), and he's responding by being more appealing to them and going on their favorite shows and stuff.
His most famous and most widely advertised issue is the "Freedom Dividend", a UBI proposal that would give everyone $1k a month...except that you have to give up any other government benefits to get it, so the poor will benefit less than everyone else.
He's not polling well, but his willingness to talk about issues that no one else really wants to talk about make him a bit of a wildcard. It's unlikely he'll win, but he might be able to become a Ron Paul-style meme candidate...except that if the debate is any indication, he's not that great a speaker either.
Cory Booker
Former mayor of Newark and current Senator of New Jersey. His hands-on approach as mayor got him plenty of good press for things like personally saving a person from a burning house, but that's largely been eclipsed by some dicey political stances, most famously when he bucked the Obama campaign to defend Romney and Bain Capital from the Obama campaign's cruel attacks against private equity funds. He's liberal on social issues, but conservative on most economic issues, and his close relationship to Wall Street and the healthcare industry is unlikely to win many friends on these forums.
In the primary so far, he's mostly campaigned as a moderate, resisting Medicare for All and talking up the virtues of compromise and bipartisan cooperation. However, he's drawn some attention by attacking Biden for talking too much about the virtues of compromise and bipartisan cooperation with segregationists and white supremacists, and for repeatedly pointing to the disparity between his coverage and Pete's coverage. His debates performance were generally considered to be solid, but not stunning. He no longer qualifies for debates, though, and his days are numbered.
Julián Castro
Former mayor of San Antonio, and HUD secretary under the Obama administration. Beloved by the political establishment, but that hasn't translated to much support among the media or on the ground. His highlight issues are universal pre-kindergarden and lead cleanup; other than that, he talks a very liberal talk on social policies and supports moderate incremental improvements in economic issues.
He's released plenty of detailed policy plans, but he's so far failed to gain any real traction. He's done well in the debates; this longtime rising star may be one to watch.
Also, he has a twin brother in Congress, so if you want hilarious place-changing hijinks like in a bunch of B-grade 90s comedies, this should be your #1 pick.
Tulsi Gabbard
An Iraq War veteran, and a House member in Hawaii since 2013. Unusually for an American politician, she's economically leftist but leans hard right on social issues, which leads to a lot of Ron Paul-style unusual positions, such as anti-interventionism. Her most famous issue these days is probably her open hatred for Muslims, but she spent much of the 00s openly anti-LGBT as well and supported conversion therapy and banning gay marriage. Despite being a sitting member of Congress, she refused to vote for impeaching Trump, and her increasingly erratic campaign appears to have little chance of further progress.
Often appears wearing plant life in some form, possibly indicating that she is secretly a druid.
Amy Klobuchar
A former prosecutor who, having served as a senator in Minnesota for over a decade, has gotten a lot of media buzz as the bipartisan moderate candidate who might win back the red-leaning states in the Midwest by attracting conservative votes. However, despite the pundits' predictions and lots of early media buzz, she's failed to gain much traction and hasn't brought anything interesting to the policy table. So far, her campaign's biggest headline-grabber has been leaks about her horrible treatment of staff, bullying and terrorizing them. Most famous for reportedly eating a salad with a comb, and then forcing a staffer to wash that comb as punishment for forgetting her fork.
Made reporters wait out in a snowstorm for her announcement. And there were a lot of them there, since she was supposed to be the pundits' Great Midwestern Hope.
Marianne Williamson
An author and activist whose only political history is finishing fourth in a House race in California. Despite that, she's got better positions than at least half the candidates on this stage...for the most part. She wouldn't be out of place in the Green Party, mixing strong progressive policies like M4A and the Green New Deal with downright wacky stuff like antivax talk.
Her signature issue is reparations for slavery, having come out with the earliest and biggest proposal.
She's not a serious contender for the presidency, but her mixture of cool and crazy talk has earned her a meme fanbase after the debates. She hasn't been a big player for a while, I honestly forgot she was still in.
Tom Steyer
Michael Bloomberg
Two billionaires, both self-funding their campaigns and spending tens of millions of dollars on furious advertising blitzes. One's been publicly bolstering their media image by buying pro-impeachment ads for months, the other owns their own media empire. Steyer qualifies for the debates, Bloomberg doesn't. They both suck.
Here lie the names of the fallen, those who have dropped out:
Beto O'Rourke
Kamala Harris
probably some people I forgot about because they never mattered enough to mention in the first place
Somebody fucked around with this message at 19:13 on Dec 23, 2019
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Sep 13, 2019 04:16
