|
Hello everyone I recently graduated with a BS IN COMPUTER SCIENCE and have been unemployed for the past 4 months. They told me the job market recently ate a load of sugar free gummy bears and there would be an uncontrollable torrent of jobs. They lied. Am I just a big dumdum or is this normal? P.S. I minored in Philosophy |
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 02:43
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 5, 2024 23:03 |
|
|
|
Get a job being your own dad. You can be your own dad instead of having someone else do it for you |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 02:52
|
|
|
Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Get a job being your own dad. You can be your own dad instead of having someone else do it for you I feel like that doesn't pay very well, I know a lot of poor dads and I'm looking to make A LOT of money. |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 02:57
|
|
|
I hear there are some people who will pay you A LOT of money to call you daddy
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 03:03
|
|
|
Kaiser Schnitzel posted:I hear there are some people who will pay you A LOT of money to call you daddy I have a friend who does this except it is the other way around? The old man pays her to call HIM daddy. Also I haven't been on BYOB for a while, is FluffyDuckie still posting? |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 03:05
|
|
|
monkay posted:Hello everyone Please go here: https://www.indeed.com/ and here: https://www.monster.com/ Upload your resume and fill out the forms etc and have fun as A LOT of money comes pouring in! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 03:15
|
|
|
|
if i need computer help i will call u but i only pay in photoshops of ur av but with a pumpkin on its head
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 03:42
|
|
|
Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:Please go here: Thank you for the reccomendations, I have sent over 100 applications since April and have only had 3 interviews. It feels like I'm doing something wrong, or that I'm somehow applying for jobs that I dont quality for. I started with just software jobs but have broadened my search into IT jobs aswell which has been slightly more successful. |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 04:32
|
|
|
nut posted:if i need computer help i will call u but i only pay in photoshops of ur av but with a pumpkin on its head Fuk yeah |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 04:32
|
|
|
I have three jobs, do you want one? |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 06:38
|
|
|
our economy is creating so many jobs that now we can get 3rd and 4th jobs and still feel that authentic struggle for survival as we try and keep our heads above water, what a time we live in! |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 15:27
|
|
|
|
you could pick up a job in construction and end up like the dude at the end of office space who was happy. or if you decide to go back to computer science you'll be a hunk computer guy and everyone will want to hire you |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 15:39
|
|
|
|
if you don't have enough technical skills, just keep adding music subgenres to your resume until it confuses and terrifies the reader your technical skills (old): Java, C++, C#, JavaScript your technical skills (new): Java, C++, C#, JavaScript, ChillHop, LoFi, Southern Gothic, Avant-Garde, Screamo, Contemporary Christian
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 15:59
|
|
|
|
Wear a suit to your interview. I don't know if it works or not but I overhead some business douchebag complaining loudly that the engineers he was interviewing couldn't even dress themselves up for an interview, and implied they would not even get a second look for their unbusinessdouchebagness. And his douchey loud colleagues were like well they're engineers, of course they can't dress themselves, what do you expect and he's like No Excuse! So if you want to work for The Man, you need to look like The Man, so that he will be duped by your clever camouflage and then you can lay your eggs in his nest so that he raises your young as his own. |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 16:03
|
|
|
Finger Prince posted:Wear a suit to your interview. I don't know if it works or not but I overhead some business douchebag complaining loudly that the engineers he was interviewing couldn't even dress themselves up for an interview, and implied they would not even get a second look for their unbusinessdouchebagness. And his douchey loud colleagues were like well they're engineers, of course they can't dress themselves, what do you expect and he's like No Excuse! All of this, but I would also add that it would be best to bring an egg with you and brandish it as a weapon- jab it at your opponent I mean, interviewer to emphasize any words that make you look better than they and to make them wonder what raising your young will be like in their nest. Cuckoo ca choo indeed |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 16:26
|
|
|
|
FutonForensic posted:if you don't have enough technical skills, just keep adding music subgenres to your resume until it confuses and terrifies the reader
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 16:35
|
|
|
|
Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:All of this, but I would also add that it would be best to bring an egg with you and brandish it as a weapon- jab it at your opponent I mean, interviewer to emphasize any words that make you look better than they and to make them wonder what raising your young will be like in their nest. Also, though it may seem forward, you can never go wrong with a raucous display of coloured feathers. In fact, it's practically expected. You don't have to be aggressive with it, but you want to let your rival know that yes, you too have brightly coloured plumes, and could attract many mates. |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 16:46
|
|
|
FutonForensic posted:if you don't have enough technical skills, just keep adding music subgenres to your resume until it confuses and terrifies the reader Maybe I should add my esoteric qualifications too: 4n Acolyte of the Golden Dawn, Raymancer, 7th doorkeeper of Paimon, windows 2008 server |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 17:47
|
|
|
Finger Prince posted:Wear a suit to your interview. I don't know if it works or not but I overhead some business douchebag complaining loudly that the engineers he was interviewing couldn't even dress themselves up for an interview, and implied they would not even get a second look for their unbusinessdouchebagness. And his douchey loud colleagues were like well they're engineers, of course they can't dress themselves, what do you expect and he's like No Excuse! This will be great advice when I finally get an interview |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 17:49
|
|
|
monkay posted:I have a friend who does this except it is the other way around? The old man pays her to call HIM daddy. when did you used to post? also, listen, you have skills, you'll find work consider taking on freelance work in the meantime, you can do all sorts of weird coding jobs for dudes who want someone to write them a program to help them arrange their legos or whatever
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 19:29
|
|
|
How do you find that sort of thing? I've looked at the temp work pages and usually it's full of stuff like "I have this idea that will make millions of dollars, my budget is a Benjamin I found in my couch" or "$500 need a Skype clone programmed." I too am in need of a job. But yeah, I can sympathize; I keep seeing companies all being like "we'll take all the programmers we can get!" But when I say "hello I am a programmer may I have an interview?" they just never write back. I'm sewage flavored. |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 19:32
|
|
|
i am a beekeeper i don';t know but like, i made money transcribing videos and stuff and the um electronic turk or whatever? i dunno there are like websites devoted to here is a job do it for not much but like, it is some money and also, experience and filling your portfolio? is that a thing programmers have?
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 19:47
|
|
|
Heather Papps posted:i am a beekeeper i don';t know https://www.upwork.com/o/jobs/browse/c/web-mobile-software-dev/
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 19:48
|
|
|
hi. have you tried showing them your rear end?
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 19:58
|
|
|
real answer: i started going hard on sending a few thousand (seriously) well-formatted resumes and nicely written cover letters via email to job postings that were my career level and in the target salary range i wanted. i majorly focused on getting the job i wanted, at least in the field i wanted--in your case, you have a CS degree, right? you focus on...what languages? what have you done job-wise or internship wise that could help you? is it the most recent? do you have a well written CV with your education and your internships/jobs in the field highlighted with your accomplishments? hiring managers (people like me) wanna see your relevant poo poo in bullet points, not novels, and we want to know if you have the ability to manage to show up with a poo poo/shower/shave etc without loving up too much. if your only relevant work experience was that you did an internship in 1992 for oracle then you might be kind of hosed there. if your most recent internship was at oracle and you did like, full stack dev work and get a good reference from your buddy/boss chad thunderjob then add that as a reference (chad) and list out what you did in bullet points, but make it visible. werk that education; if you can get a paid internship and haven't had one, take it. seriously. for one, interns have less responsibility and for two it shows your willingness to learn on the job. don't take an unpaid internship for the love of christ on a bike.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 20:03
|
|
|
Wait, Upwork is anything other than terrible right now? I tried it in the past and it was...an experience. That's what I was complaining about. Occasionally I'd go give a look because I needed a laugh. Yes, I will totally write code full time for five months for $2,500. Totally. I'm sewage flavored. |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 20:57
|
|
|
monkay posted:Thank you for the reccomendations, I have sent over 100 applications since April and have only had 3 interviews. apply even if you dont qualify you might have something else theyre looking for network like crazy get a job as a cashier and every time a heavy quarter passes through your hands quickly drop it on the counter. if it clanks instead of clinks its pre 1965 and has a silver content of 90%. sell these for melt value to supplement your wage.
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 21:02
|
|
|
ToxicSlurpee posted:Wait, Upwork is anything other than terrible right now? I tried it in the past and it was...an experience. That's what I was complaining about. Occasionally I'd go give a look because I needed a laugh. i don;t konw i am beekeper not computerman tryin't to help
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 22:27
|
|
|
Heather Papps posted:i don;t konw I do appreciate it, tell the bees I said hi. I'm sewage flavored. |
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 23:04
|
|
|
|
hamjobs posted:hi. have you tried showing them your rear end? i have and i already have job
|
|
#
?
Sep 21, 2019 23:20
|
|
|
monkay posted:Thank you for the reccomendations, I have sent over 100 applications since April and have only had 3 interviews. Your resume MUST include keywords that the industry is looking for. When your resume is received, it's scanned via OCR and then scanned for those keywords. You don't have those keywords? Congrats, your resume/CV is now shredder fodder. Keywords for the tech industry: https://qz.com/229570/here-are-most-valuable-skills-in-americas-tech-job-market/ Keep references updated and let them know they are in fact references. Contact said references to make you sound fresh in their minds. Does the format and font etc match the industry? Sometimes this can be a turnoff, especially if the scanner they use can't recognize a font you use. You can also contact your Department of Labor's office (I would go in person and talk to a person face to face) to inquire about an employment workshop, and get some tips on your resume. It's a place to network, and a potential reference. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2019 00:59
|
|
|
|
you totally sure you want a job op because lemme tell you it kinda sucks sometimes? have you considered just stealing poo poo?
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2019 01:02
|
|
|
|
You Are Hired
|
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2019 02:41
|
|
|
Lots of jobs in tech will have crazy requirements like 7 years experience for an energy level position. These are almost always HR adding years when the department didnt specify. Apply to it and make sure you have other jobs in there that aren't tech related that add up to that. This will get you to the interview. Coding jobs vary significantly by where you are, thankfully you can also work 100% remote so dont forget to apply out of state (make sure it is a remote position, you may still need to fly to HQ every so often but they will pay for it). A lot of tech jobs at temp to full. A lot of enetry level coding jobs are project based. Finish the project you no longer have a job. Don't just look at full time permanent jobs they usually do need several years worth on completed contracts to land. See if you can find a temp agency that specializes in programming, they will "hire" you, you then can apply for contracts they have that they feel are up to your skill level. They do nothing but help make the company paying the money feel comfortable. Companies live hiring other companies over hiring someone, and with a temp agency you can usually keep medical between contracts, just not weekly paycheck. A contract should be good for 6-24 months. Starting a career in both coding and IT sucks horribly, it gets better you didn't make a mistake. Just the enety level is complete hell unless you luck into a full time position early. There's a reason they can actually fill them with people with 5 years experience. Job stability is a really nice thing. Good luck with the contacting you'll be fine. pixaal fucked around with this message at 12:00 on Sep 22, 2019 |
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2019 11:56
|
|
|
|
Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:Please go here: These can be good sources and in fact I got my latest job via Indeed, but just be warned that uploading your resume will result in D-grade recruiters from India aggressively hounding you about vaguely computer-related sheet-folding jobs 8,000 miles away from you that pay $32,000 a year, oh and they're also contract-to-hire. |
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2019 16:37
|
|
|
Fortunately I've kept myself busy with volunteering and whatnot, but I kept putting off a part time job because, "Oo maybe this will be the time." I know how to code in C++, Java, and JavaScript with some experience in SQL, MongoDB, and Android development, unfortunately I don't have much to show for it except some assignments on my Github. I'm in the awkward position of knowing HOW to code but not knowing enough to freelance coding or website making. pixaal posted:Lots of jobs in tech will have crazy requirements like 7 years experience for an energy level position. These are almost always HR adding years when the department didnt specify. It definitely feels like there's a huge barrier to entrance for "entry level" jobs, and I have experience as an IT intern last summer. Most places seem to want to hire through a temp or contracting agency if you aren't lucky enough to have a connection. I am currently working with a placing company but it just feels like more  "Oh, you were close last time, just stick with us we've got tons of jobs coming up." This last time it seemed like I was close and then someone "went on vacation" for a few weeks, and now they are saying the same position is open again.Luckily I'm in a position where money hasn't been a necessity, but it definitely will be at some point, at which I will be SOL. I've been applying for part time work in the meantime with the same amount of success hah. |
|
#
?
Sep 22, 2019 22:42
|
|
|
|
Are you doing everything you can to assert your dominance during job interviews? Don't forget to wear your war paint and enter the room banging a primitive leather drum in an aggressive manner to make it clear that you would be a worthy member of the office tribe. On your resume, be sure to include such physical features as "hulking muscles" and "jumbo genitals" |
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2019 15:35
|
|
|
|
Gotta catch em all and become a jobemon master |
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2019 15:48
|
|
|
|
Make a killer resume then scream into the night at the monster you've created |
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2019 15:53
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 5, 2024 23:03 |
|
|
|
But seriously you can take an aptitude test to get an idea about other fields you might enjoy working in, best of luck friend sorry |
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2019 15:54
|
|