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Exmond's asked some good questions for us to really help you, but there's one thing I can knock out regardless of any of the answers: Your First Line posted:It was an average night for Samantha Greensdale. Your first line has one real job: to make people want to read the second line. Telling us it's an average night for Samantha Greensdale does the exact opposite. It doesn't promise us anything out of the ordinary and doesn't leave us asking any questions. It doesn't even tell us anything about Samantha, as we have no idea who she is or what her average night is like. Maybe she's a vampire and her average night is sucking human blood. Maybe she's a cat and her average night is batting a bell around the baseboards because its funny to wake her owners up. We have no idea, but because you (the author) have deemed those events unremarkable, we're not compelled to read on and find out. Go on amazon and read the first sentences of a bunch of the most popular books. I'll bet hard money nobody's story is starting on an average night. See where they do start and apply it to your own work.
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Sep 23, 2019 18:50
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 21:38 |
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Stabbey_the_Clown posted:Not everyone in the world is an anime geek who speaks fluent Japanese/memorizes random Japanese terms. What's wrong with using the word "fantasy"?
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Sep 24, 2019 16:40
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