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Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Last week, on 1KYOB...

  • We saw a whole lot more token action, with three players claiming they had the minerals for a top ten finish. Alas, Acebuckeye13 and Deceptive fell short of the mark, leaving...
  • seiferguy as the sole remaining gunslinger in front of the saloon. Not only did they make the top ten, but they (narrowly!) finished on top of the table this week, earning them a cool 100 bonus points! This huge haul was enough to catapult them from 27th overall to the top of the season standings.
  • We also had fewer busts last week than in the first two weeks, and the field was densely packed at the top with only 14 yards separating the top six players. Looks like the competition is heating up for those top 10 places!

Scores and Standings

Final scores from last week and overall standings so far are below.
pre:
Player                    Total Yards Ranking Points Bonus Total Points Notes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
seiferguy                         964      1      28   100         128 
Elephanthead                      963      2      27     0          27 
Nystral                           958      3      26     0          26 
Bjork Bjowlob                     955      4      25     0          25 
HereticMIND                       952      5      24     0          24 
BlindSite                         950      6      23     0          23 
Shadow225                         911      7      22     0          22 
fishing with the fam              903      8      21     0          21 
Play                              893      9      20     0          20 
Chichevache                       866     10      19     0          19 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Strobe                            863     11      18     0          18 
korrandark                        835     12      17     0          17 
Leperflesh                        830     13      16     0          16 
bobjr                             815     14      15     0          15 
Arnold Layne                      810     15      14     0          14 
a new study bible!                803     16      13     0          13 
WaffleZombie                      796     17      12     0          12 
Okibi                             793     18      11     0          11 
Blowjob Overtime                  785     19      10     0          10 Activated Ghost token
von Metternich                    763     20       9     0           9 
OxySnake                          748     21       8     0           8 
the mean lunch lady               646     22       7     0           7 
No Butt Stuff                     641     23       6     0           6 
totally losing my mime            556     24       5     0           5 
Tiny Tubesteak Tom               1009     25       4     0           4 
Grittybeard                      1019     26       3     0           3 
Acebuckeye13                      843     27       0     0           0 Failed Cojones check
Deceptive                        1083     28       0     0           0 Failed Cojones check
pre:
Player                    Overall Rank |   Wk1  Wk2  Wk3
--------------------------------------------------------
seiferguy                     143    1 |     8    7  128 
Bjork Bjowlob                  70    2 |    27   18   25 
BlindSite                      64    3 |    18   23   23 
Shadow225                      57    4 |     9   26   22 
OxySnake                       55    5 |    26   21    8 
Chichevache                    54    6 |    23   12   19 
Deceptive                      53    7 |    29   24    0 
Strobe                         53    7 |    16   19   18 
Elephanthead                   52    9 |    12   13   27 
Leperflesh                     51   10 |    13   22   16 
fishing with the fam           50   11 |    21    8   21 
korrandark                     49   12 |     3   29   17 
Nystral                        48   13 |     2   20   26 
the mean lunch lady            48   13 |    25   16    7 
Acebuckeye13                   43   15 |    15   28    0 
Arnold Layne                   43   15 |    19   10   14 
bobjr                          40   17 |    20    5   15 
HereticMIND                    39   18 |     -   15   24 
a new study bible!             38   19 |    11   14   13 
Tiny Tubesteak Tom             38   19 |     7   27    4 
Grittybeard                    35   21 |    28    4    3 
No Butt Stuff                  35   21 |     4   25    6 
Play                           35   21 |    14    1   20 
Blowjob Overtime               32   24 |     5   17   10 
von Metternich                 29   25 |    17    3    9 
WaffleZombie                   29   25 |     6   11   12 
Satisfaction Guaranteed        26   27 |    24    2    - 
-----Cutoff for Playoffs--------------------------------
Benne                          22   28 |    22    -    - 
Okibi                          21   29 |     1    9   11 
totally losing my mime         21   29 |    10    6    5 
THIS WEEK'S LINEUP

Bye:
NYJ, SF

Thurs:
PHI @ GB

Sun Early:
TEN @ ATL
WAS @ NYG
LAC @ MIA
OAK @ IND
CAR @ HOU
KC @ DET
CLE @ BAL
NE @ BUF

Sun Late:
TB @ LAR
SEA @ ARI
MIN @ CHI
JAX @ DEN

Sun Night:
DAL @ NO

Mon:
CIN @ PIT

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How do I play 1000 Yards or Bust?

See this thread!

Tokens!

Tokens are back again this year. What's a token you ask? Good question:

Because 1KYOB is inherently a game about selecting offensive players, tokens were originally created to celebrate the superlative defenders of the NFL as well as introduce another strategic element to the game. The tokens apply to your GDI Number player and only your GDI Number player, but you can't cheat and edit them in if you're heading into Monday about to bust: if you haven't declared you're using a token before the first player on your list starts, you're SOL. Each token can only be used once per season unless otherwise noted.

To play a token please copy and paste the image as well as the name of the token after your GDI Number.

This year there are seven tokens, split into three different categories - Normal, Supplement, and Special. You can only use a max of one token per week from each category.

NORMAL TOKENS

THE MACK TOKEN




A running back's worst nightmare is to make a cut towards an inviting gap only to see Khalil Mack suddenly appear, arms wide in welcome embrace. Particularly so when Mack has crossed half the country and a whole conference to unexpectedly crush this naive NFC North rusher twice a season.

You may play the Mack Token when your GDI Number is a Running Back. If your GDI Number would bust your score, this token will zero out their score! Can only be used once per season unless refreshed or in certain circumstances, see later.

THE HAYWARD TOKEN



Casey Hayward is one of the premier CBs in the league, and after he has assimilated the life force of the rest of the Chargers' defense a la Jet Li in The One he will become unstoppable.

You may play the Hayward Token when your GDI Number is a Wide Receiver or a Tight End. If your GDI Number would bust your score, this token will zero out their score! Can only be used once per season unless refreshed or in certain circumstances, see later.

THE GHOST OF SAN DIEGO PAST TOKEN



Prior to his untimely death, Joey Bosa terrorized offensive lines and QBs coming off the edge. Becoming phantasmal can only improve his game, turning him from 'difficult to block' to 'impossible to handle unless you know five kids and a dog with a van'.

You may play the Ghost of San Diego Past Token when your GDI Number is a Quarterback. If your GDI Number would bust your score, this token will convert your QB entry to use Rushing instead of Passing yards, as the QB can think of nothing but fleeing for his life. If you are already using Rushing yards for your QB entry, this token will zero out their score as the QB remains rooted to the spot in fear. Can only be used once per season unless refreshed or in certain circumstances, see later.

SUPPLEMENT TOKENS

THE MERCURIAL GENIUS TOKEN




Note: see the bottom of this post for clarifications on this token.

Marcus Peters is an extremely talented CB who is prone to, uh, 'shifts' in mood that can affect his performance. One week he will smother a #1 wideout so thoroughly that the receiver forgets his own name, the next he's launching flags into the crowd and himself out of the stadium.

You may play the Mercurial Genius token alongside any of the above Normal tokens - it cannot be played by itself. The Normal token acts normally, and if you need it to avoid busting (or if you bust regardless), it will be consumed. However if you do not need the token to avoid busting, the Mercurial Genius token will return the Normal token back to you to be used again in a following week (i.e. it will refresh the token). The Mercurial Genius token itself can be played any number of times during the season, unless...

...your GDI Number blows up and exceeds the relevant yardage limit (Rushing: 100, Receiving: 100, Passing: 400). Then the Genius will get himself ejected for the rest of the season and your GDI Number will have a record game! Specifically, their yardage total will be set to the relevant all-time single-game record below:
Rushing: 296 yards (Adrian Peterson, Vikings vs San Diego, 2007)
Receiving: 336 yards (Willie 'Flipper' Anderson, Rams vs Saints, 1989)
Passing: 554 yards (Norm van Brocklin, Rams vs NY Yanks, 1951)

If this happens and you still don't bust (what kind of strange list are you running?!?) then the Normal token will still be returned. The Mercurial Genius token is always consumed after the Genius is ejected.

SPECIAL TOKENS

THE MONSTER COJONES TOKEN



A reminder of the most balls-out playcall I've seen in a Superbowl, and - as a Jets fan - a delightful way for the Patriots to be humbled on the biggest stage in American football. I'd like to take this opportunity to bring up that the Patriots also tried a similar play in the same game, showing us that sometimes it is ok to count out Touchdown Tom.

If you declare the Monster Cojones token during a given week, it gets you 50 bonus points for a top 10 score and 100 bonus points for the best score of the week, but if you finish outside the top 10 you get zero, so you better catch that pass! In addition, you can use the Monster Cojones token as much as you want if you keep getting the bonus, but if you use the Monster Cojones token and fail to make the top 10, you can't use it again for the entire rest of the season unless you hit a perfect thousand. Not for the faint at heart!

Have fun!

Maybe it's time to hang em up, buddy
Players who've used a Cojones and failed to make the top 10


pre:
Acebuckeye13
Deceptive
Yoooooooouuuu'rre outta heeere!
Players who've had their Genius ejected


pre:
No-one yet
TOKEN CLARIFICATIONS

I'll try to collate any token clarifications I make during each thread in this area.

Clarification 1: The Genius Token

The Genius token will return the Normal token if you don't need the Normal token to avoid busting. If you do need it (or bust anyway) the Normal token is consumed and not returned. The Genius token itself is always returned unless it gets ejected ie your GDI number exceeds the yardage limit.

For example:

Pre-Monday yardage total: 920
If Brate goes for 70: no bust, both Hayward and Genius tokens returned
If Brate goes for 100: Hayward token activated, Brate yardage becomes zero, Hayward token not returned, Genius token returned
If Brate goes for 120: Genius ejected, Brate yardage becomes 336, total yardage 1256, bust, Hayward token not returned, Genius token not returned

Pre-Monday yardage total: 600
Brate goes for 70: no bust or ejection, both tokens returned
Brate goes for 120: Genius ejected, Brate yardage becomes 336, total yardage 936, no bust, Hayward token returned, Genius token not returned

Clarification 2: Tiebreakers

Ties are broken as follows:
  • Whichever list has more players
  • If both entries have the same number of players - whichever list was entered first

Clarification 3: Using the same player more than once

You can use the same player more than once but you cannot use the same combination of player and yardage type more than once. So - to use Nick Foles as an example - you can list Nick Foles three times in one entry (for Passing, Rushing and Receiving yards) but you cannot list Nick Foles - Passing more than once. If you use a player more than once they have to be listed on separate lines for each yardage type you want to use:
pre:
PHI - Nick Foles - Passing Yards
PHI - Nick Foles - Rushing Yards

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Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Zyla posted:

KC - Patrick Mahomes - Passing Yards
NE - Tom Brady - Passing Yards
NE - Julian Edelman - Receiving Yards
BUF - Josh Allen - Rushing Yards
GB - Aaron Rodgers - Passing Yards

Needs a player from MNF (the GDI number) to be a valid entry

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


ARI - Larry Fitzgerald - Receiving yards
ARI - David Johnson - Rushing yards
LAR - Jared Goff - Passing yards
DAL - Dak Prescott - Passing yards

GDI#: CIN - Andy Dalton - Passing yards


Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Monday night! Jared Goff really put me in a tight spot, hopefully Andy is very average tonight

pre:
Andy Dalton - Passing               | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
Bjork Bjowlob                       | 173
korrandark                          | 299
bobjr                               | 340
Elephanthead                        | 346
Shadow225                           | 355
Strobe                              | 446
No Butt Stuff                       | 500
the mean lunch lady                 | 528
Deceptive                           | 549
Leperflesh                          | 702
von Metternich                      | 1000

Benny Snell JR. - Rushing           | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
Nystral                             | 225

James Conner - Rushing              | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
fishing with the fam                | 223
Tiny Tubesteak Tom                  | 269

Joe Mixon - Receiving               | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
Chichevache                         | 228

John Ross Iii - Receiving           | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
seiferguy                           | 326

Juju Smith-Schuster - Receiving     | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
Zyla                                |  57
Okibi                               | 165
Blowjob Overtime                    | 241
Play                                | 285

Kirk Cousins - Passing              | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
Acebuckeye13                        | 128

Mason Rudolph - Passing             | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
HereticMIND                         |  57
WaffleZombie                        | 190
totally losing my mime              | 543

Mason Rudolph - Rushing             | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
a new study bible!                  | 150

Tyler Boyd - Receiving              | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
BlindSite                           | 157
Grittybeard                         | 205

Vance Mcdonald - Receiving          | Yards Remaining
--------------------------------------------------
Arnold Layne                        | -224

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Acebuckeye13 posted:

I'm just now realizing I may have mixed up who was playing Monday night.

At least I won't bust? :shrug:

Ah, I didn't notice this - you'll get Mr Starlord himself instead, yessiree

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


God drat it Andy you couldn't find two more yards somewhere? Maybe behind the couch?

Edit: fixed an error

pre:
Player                    Total Yards Ranking Points Bonus Total Points Notes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bjork Bjowlob                     998      1      28     0          28 
Zyla                              958      2      27     0          27 
HereticMIND                       940      3      26    50          76 Activated Ghost token
BlindSite                         876      4      25     0          25 
Acebuckeye13                      872      5      24     0          24 
korrandark                        872      6      23     0          23 
Okibi                             850      7      22     0          22 
a new study bible!                847      8      21     0          21 
bobjr                             831      9      20     0          20 
Grittybeard                       828     10      19     0          19 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Elephanthead                      825     11      18     0          18 
fishing with the fam              819     12      17     0          17 
Nystral                           776     13      16     0          16 
Blowjob Overtime                  774     14      15     0          15 
Tiny Tubesteak Tom                773     15      14     0          14 
Chichevache                       773     16      13     0          13 
Strobe                            725     17      12     0          12 
seiferguy                         710     18      11     0          11 
totally losing my mime            686     19      10     0          10 
No Butt Stuff                     671     20       9     0           9 
the mean lunch lady               643     21       8     0           8 
Deceptive                         622     22       7     0           7 
Leperflesh                        469     23       6     0           6 
von Metternich                    171     24       5     0           5 
WaffleZombie                     1039     25       4     0           4 
Arnold Layne                     1224     26       3     0           3 
Shadow225                         816     27       0     0           0 Failed Cojones check
Play                              730     28       0     0           0 Failed Cojones check

Bjork Bjowlob fucked around with this message at 22:19 on Oct 1, 2019

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


Shadow225 posted:

171 passing yards.

Works4me

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Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


New thread here!

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