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I've been a massive LPC fan for many years, now, and it looks like I got beaten to the punch on creating a thread such as this to share his greatness with others. The way he so passive-aggressively threatens people is incredible. "I'm fixin' to pick you up and put you down about 200 times!" "What if I took the palm of my hand and just shoved it right underneath your chinbone?" "You'll recognize me when I get there. I'll be wearin' my thug chain." "I'll crack ya in half with my WHIIIIIP!" "Take a vitamin." Riptor posted:Yeah this is Hofbrau from Rub-a-Dub house "This is Heath Rubbit from the Trapezoid of Discovery. We're calling to find out who you're voting for. We're offering 56" submarine sandwich for the information from Testes Park sandwiches." "We're offering a free sombrero for the information!" "I can't wait to get it!" "Yeah, I bet. Whattaya gonna pop it on and take a big ol' nap?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KagfwsYL-Mo This poor guy is so fed up with the 1-800-Toilets stuff. He's so drat mad. I love it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADR6VNm6Qb0 "What kinda car you got?" "I got a Daihatsu Blooper! The calipers are ALL messed up!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTJaiSmDXWE "I got two lips for two fists." "Where were you stationed?" "In....the jungles....of Momofuku." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AWaDgvwOEY This one is by far one of my favorites. When he tells the guy that they've got a medicine man and a fractal cactus and he should come down to the grocery store and participate in the compost heap is timeless. "And remember, the top of the guacamole is BY FAR the creamiest." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXBc8bhkrPM "You're not gonna know where your teeth are when I get done with ya. You've made it clear you don't care about the contestants at Little Miss Clackamas, you've made that abundantly clear!" Gonz fucked around with this message at 23:20 on Oct 7, 2019 |
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Oct 7, 2019 23:07
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| # ¿ May 10, 2024 18:16 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iz0OoFszDmU “Hey Don, what’s goin’ on? I used to work for Rubbermaid....trash caaans and paper bags and plastic baaaaags.....”
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Oct 10, 2019 10:27
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“What’s your number?” “888-WITCHERY.”
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Oct 13, 2019 03:45
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8eukyVBNZE “I can blow up a motorcycle, a barbecue, a pool table, a motorcycle. What I'll do is, I'll land, I'll blow up a motorcycle. I'll let you shoot a few things. And... we can talk hundred dollar bills, whadda' ya think?”
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Oct 13, 2019 04:32
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CHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7chG2rCwxw0
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Oct 20, 2019 05:20
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I hope Yucatan Suckerman sues these two buffoons.
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Oct 20, 2019 09:01
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Chrpno posted:We're not grindin no frawg I got bullfrog meat, fella.
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Oct 21, 2019 01:36
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIoMzs2PjG0
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Nov 11, 2019 09:22
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ELI PORTER posted:I'm going to send you a picture of me h-whOOPin some rear end I got two fists for two lips.
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Nov 16, 2019 20:46
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Riptor posted:Yeah it's 888-WITCHERY “What about Nautical Entombment?”
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Nov 29, 2019 21:50
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True or false: You’re full of excuses?
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Dec 3, 2019 22:58
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb_b9l8nFpE
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Dec 14, 2019 21:59
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Oh my loving god.
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Dec 29, 2019 08:51
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxa2K_8cWD8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GY4cp68UvWM
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Jan 11, 2020 11:34
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPd-lrDE3Zw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0pT3yIuBNQ
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Jan 21, 2020 03:16
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Ralph Hurley posted:I’d have to look for it but there was one call in particular where Longmont was on with a telemarketer who must have called him first. The guy was trying to sell some bullshit supplements or something. LPC played it like he was having an episode. The conversation kept getting weirder but the telemarketer showed himself to be such a loving predatory piece of poo poo. He kept condescendingly asking LPC if he was okay and if he forgot to take his medication. LPC kept it going like he had no idea what the guy was saying but the telemarketer kept relentlessly trying to get the credit card number of a man who he seemed to truly believe was having a live mental breakdown over the phone. Was it this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FW5i225OGTI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nefgKi1OgQo
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Jan 23, 2020 06:35
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Edit: The uploader made them private. Bah.
Gonz fucked around with this message at 00:51 on Feb 17, 2020 |
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Feb 14, 2020 10:15
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"My name's Buford Clifford, i'm right here in Dallas, and I need some representation here pronto! When I blow my horn, I got people runnin' BUCK wild trying to pilfer my conceptual endeavors up 'ere and I figure I need a legal team to lead the chaaaaarge."
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Feb 15, 2020 00:18
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZ-2Ttgk4js
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Feb 27, 2020 08:27
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Mummy Napkin Poncho Hererra Buddy Gripple Tanyo Lubbock Pumpernickel Bracket Rasmussen Niassen Virtual Balboa Dr. Slap Nano Nacuno Dusty Staccato Uno Sarkagian Garibaldian Rick Slick a.k.a. Steadman Duncan Whopper Buck Pucker Hoyt Herringbone Bud Studdard Preston Windermere Plax Thorx Fank Stoyvesson Herbie Rubbit Down and Dirty Rufus Benny Liquid Prick Baxter Red Brown The Lolipop of Love, Bart Hacker
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Jun 17, 2020 06:55
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Chrpno posted:DIRK FUNK Artie Yamamoto Ben Claypaper Biblio Dewangus Cornelius Fiddlebone Felix Babakuntos Gilberto Bababuci Gorilla Romero Jefferies Crescent Julio Ointment Montoyan Artesian Pashion Hodges Solomon Gumball Wallace Thrasher aka Stretchy Yvonne Goolagong
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Jun 17, 2020 11:02
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Riptor posted:...challah? W O V E N B R E A D Y’know, breEeaaDthATsWooOvEnTOGether? Lemme get an orangedonut
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Jun 21, 2020 04:23
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LPC's phony names was the Key & Peele East/West Bowl skit eons before either of them were even famous. The man was/is simply an oracle and an innovator.
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Jun 26, 2020 08:32
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Ralph Hurley posted:I just scored a Digitech RDS 8000 Time Machine delay unit on eBay for $80 C.O.D. Gonna try it out with my omni prong coupler later on, see if I can get virtual with my sound. Use your digital chess session to run a benchmark; maybe use the retro vaporized nebulizer, too. chessssssssssssssssssssssssss PS: The guy at the Sunglass Hut was talkin' bout you, just thought i'd let ya know.
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Jun 26, 2020 08:49
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXae9IBheOI
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Jun 26, 2020 08:56
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Arrhythmia posted:We saw you in the elevator. You were just going wild. “Oh sir, you were hootin ‘n hollerin in this elevator, and that’s why we instituted this policy, to dissuade people from going buck wild.”
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Jun 27, 2020 03:45
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Slumpy posted:you're going to jail over these toilets The sheer vitriol that dude had for LPC and his 1-800-Toilets scheme is what pushed that particular call into all-time top 5 territory, IMO. God, he was MAD.
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Jun 27, 2020 08:17
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MrQwerty posted:I probably said it before but I'm gonna say it again, I love how proud of himself he is, completely telegraphed through his delivery, when he says "Wallet-Sized Wildfire" “Hi, yeah, i’m Fredrick Frick, I got your number from...Chaplain Crabtree.”
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Jun 27, 2020 09:43
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw1xFmss21Y https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AV2ZbXf7C1Y
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Jun 27, 2020 09:47
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The_Continental posted:This is Little Miss Clackamas were talkin about here *photography guy spends 30 seconds talking about varying levels of film grain* “Okay, now, as I said, i’ve got this strong sensation in my gumline, like i’ve got something stuck in my teeth. Now where do you stand on that?”
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Jun 27, 2020 09:55
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“There's a four year old flautist by the name of Sally May, she plays the flute like somebody 4 times her age. Oh she's phenomenal......she also happens to be 210 lbs.“
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Jun 27, 2020 09:57
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LPC telling David Liebe Hart (of Tim & Eric fame) that’s he’s from Time-Life Magazine and he’s got a squawk box and that David owes him $249.00 is always good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlxIihuCVEM
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Jun 27, 2020 10:18
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Nemesis Of Moles posted:I doubt it but I wonder what he does if anyone ever starts giving him a cc number Of all the countless people he's pranked over the years, it's almost a given that someone has done just that.
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Jun 28, 2020 02:48
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“Just take the snapshots, and we'll be done...prick. I am a hang glider, and i’ve got a retro style, and I want some photographs taken.”
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Jun 28, 2020 11:26
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Riptor posted:tiiiiiiime LIFE TIME LIFE!
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Jun 29, 2020 20:44
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Tetramin posted:Lol which one is this from Super Nintendo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJ7txuDfSHA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9W9CWFtTflc quote:”I'm gonna kick you in the jaw, young man.” Gonz fucked around with this message at 07:54 on Jun 30, 2020 |
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Jun 30, 2020 07:52
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oh dope posted:That Ultimate Session Bundle seems like a hell of a deal. My birthday is coming up... Same. In three weeks. Gonna pool a bunch of birthday cash from relatives and buy it.
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Jul 1, 2020 04:23
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty6Hjc3A_-I ”I've got boxing gloves on my neck right now, on a rope. I'll go left, middle, right, middle-right, left, middle, to your face. Gonna be lights out, when I'm done with ya. I'm gonna wipe you out with martial arts. Period. End of discussion.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umXLpx6oSL8 ”I don't know what on earth I'm supposed to do. My skin...it feels like nylon. I can't get it out of my system! I can't get...this feeling out of my system, I've had it all day, since I was over there. I feel like I've got a seatbelt on, all the time.” Gonz fucked around with this message at 10:18 on Jul 2, 2020 |
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Jul 2, 2020 10:09
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Chrpno posted:It's not that impressive over the phone, dude. That's more than..you're going to be able to get off before you're knocked out, man. Sorry. You're not gonna get that left out. You know, that first left is going to be...knocked out...you're knocked out.
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Jul 2, 2020 15:29
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The_Continental posted:I drive a Daihatsu Bluebird Blooper
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Jul 4, 2020 02:34
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