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TIP posted:Even just direct questions sometimes. Oh drat this is very familiar. This is second only to the ADHD-related 'If it were really important to you, you would have remembered' thing for bringing up horrid memories. Hello everyone. The ADHD thread directed me here. I think my brain is strange. I'm gonna read the thread and hush but yeah. Hi.
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Jul 15, 2022 01:00
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 01:24 |
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I'm asexual but I do experience romantic love. I've been with my boyfriend for a long time now but we're long-distance and though I miss him (especially since loving covid dropped a brick on travel) it works pretty well for us. He's always there to support me, and me him. We're very good friends as well as romantic partners. It's hard to describe though.
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Jul 17, 2022 01:55
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There's nothing particularly weird in just finding a fictional character attractive. I mean, they're built to be attractive in some ways, to make you want to watch them, and often played by hot people. It's just that it can go to really weird places if you get too wrapped up in it. A bit like crushing on a real person you don't know very well, I suppose. Like there's a gap between 'oh, cute coffee shop guy, yay, I like to see him' and 'stalker'.
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Jul 17, 2022 23:55
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DiHK posted:I imagined the two of you holding hands and walking around the apartment building as she slowly looses her paitence. Executive dysfunction, from my layperson's understanding, is the inability to plan a task and then execute the steps of it. Like - before I was medicated for ADHD, I would think to myself 'well, I sure do need to get up and use the bathroom' and then just like, not do it. And not really know why. It's like my starter motor wouldn't turn over.
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Jul 19, 2022 03:46
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My current favourite 'this character seems to be on the spectrum' is Nandor from What We Do in the Shadows. And Laszlo is ADHD as gently caress. It is very charming to me. I aspire to that level of giving no headspace to things that drag me down. 'Stopped fighting stims' is a big benefit of the ADHD diagnosis and the ASD self-diagnosis for sure. I used to think of it as all 'fidgeting' and something I should try not to do. Now I'm amassing a collection of fidget toys and things I can safely chew on and everything feels a lot easier.
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Jul 19, 2022 12:35
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I feel like 'non-binary woman' is closest to how I feel. I definitely am not a man but 'woman' doesn't feel like it's quite me either.
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Jul 24, 2022 03:18
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Bobby Deluxe posted:My ideal would be Gozer from the end of Ghostbusters, maybe without so many bubbles. You can't tell the gender by looking, and also because I want the whole world to kneel before me. I mean I can't say I wouldn't want to look like that, but I *would* want the bubbles. They look great.
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Jul 24, 2022 21:35
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Cloacamazing! posted:This whole being thought of as emotionless really confuses me. I've had people say that I seemed that way my entire life, and unfortunately I tend to believe things people say about me, so I wondered for quite a while if that was what was wrong with me. I eventually came to the conclusion that I did have emotions, through a very complicated thought process that involved creating a story with an emotionless protagonist and deciding, after thinking up his personality and thought process, that this wasn't how I felt. It's because some people with autism don't show their emotions in expression and body language in a way that's easily read by neurotypical people. You know how folk say fish don't feel pain just because fish can't *express* pain? It's a bit like that. They can't see the emotion so they don't realise it's there. Not everybody thinks that of course, but that's part of the reason. And being unable to easily read emotions in *other* people, if they don't realise, can come off like you know the emotions are there but just don't care at all. It's a clusterfuck to be honest and there should be better representation and education.
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Jul 30, 2022 20:32
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I had a lot of weird food rules (still do tbh but fewer) but not pizza upside down, haha. If I had some candy that was different colours like skittles, I would split them by colour, then carefully eat them in order so the numbers evened out. I would still very much like for my different foods to not ever touch each other. I've learned to deal with it, but if I *could* enforce that everywhere, I would.
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Jul 31, 2022 22:32
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cinnamon rollout posted:The food not touching thing he also does sometimes. Also if I move a piece of food on a plate, like for example if I move a chicken nugget from one plate to a different one, he will absolutely move it back before eating it. Yep yep yep. Also earlier I could not find the correct fork to go with the knife I was using. What a day.
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Jul 31, 2022 22:44
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My parents were actually very cool about my various little weirdnesses. Like to the point of making a separate dinner for me if they were eating something I had a texture-based issue with (never flavour issues, only texture issues).
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Jul 31, 2022 22:53
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cinnamon rollout posted:We let him eat however he feels most comfortable, but it is good to be reminded how sensitive a topic can be. To assuage any worry I will say I never considered trying to stop him from eating upside down pizza, instead I went out and bought a little portable steam cleaner because he tends to put his pizza down next to the plate instead of on the plate, so it ends up on couches, carpet, beds, etc. Please report back, it's possible he has unlocked a secret of the universe here. e: occurs to me it's less easy to get sauce on your nose eating it his way. hmm
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Jul 31, 2022 22:56
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tfw you step on a crack in the pavement with one foot and then you can't find one to step on with the other foot
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Aug 1, 2022 04:28
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Cloacamazing! posted:
I would have liked to do that, and now I'm an adult if I eat that sort of candy I do that. But as a kid the numbers had to stay even, so I couldn't. It would have been cheating! I had to eat one of each colour in rainbow order and then start again.
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Aug 1, 2022 11:19
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A really good post Bobby, thank you. I've already been over a lot of that process with ADHD and I'm starting to give myself a bit of room with this autism thing too. It takes a while!
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Aug 5, 2022 17:20
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Anne Whateley posted:I don't think it's controversial to say that the prevalence, and not just the diagnosis, of allergies has increased, for reasons we don't fully understand. Ymmv but I don't see any reason both couldn't be true for autism. Is there data on that? I could see more people surviving to adulthood with allergies than before, for certain.
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Aug 16, 2022 03:35
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Nolgthorn posted:. It's also the only explanation I can come up with as to why I get passed over by girls I like for guys that are much less attractive, wealthy, etc. I must just communicate extra caution or extra work. Be a bit careful thinking this way. People don't select partners in a logical way like that and going too far down that rabbithole ends in unfortunate places.
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Aug 24, 2022 21:59
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It's just ritual. "I'm good, you?" That's it.
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Aug 29, 2022 04:21
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The meaningless greetings are just ritual behaviour. 'Hello, I am a human and I mean you no harm!' 'Hello, I too mean you no harm! Let us pass on by!' Failing to acknowledge is treating a human the same way you'd treat a streetlight or a trashcan or something; that's why it feels rude.
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Aug 29, 2022 20:23
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HerpicleOmnicron5 posted:How do you guys estimate minimum required greeting range? I hate walking down a corridor, acknowledging someone at a distance, we're both walking towards eachother and that quiet tension of "when do I say hi". Feels like quickdraw at high noon. This is something allistic people can't figure out either. I usually keep my eyes averted until we're just about to pass each other so I can go 'Hi!' and then we're gone and it doesn't have to become a whole thing.
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Aug 29, 2022 21:54
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I use various white-noise or atmosphere noises from the mynoise website to fall asleep. Or let my Amazon Echo play thunderstorm sounds. I find that imagining the scene represented by the noises, or pretending I'm in a castle at night or whatever, is interesting enough to occupy my brain but not interesting enough to keep me awake. It also helps with falling *back* to sleep when I wake up in the middle of the night. Train noise still going on, all is well.
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Aug 30, 2022 22:34
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My 'doing something vaguely artistically productive but mindless' activities are diamond painting (you stick little plastic sequins onto a sticky background to make an image) and those scratch art things where you follow the lines to scratch off the black and there's colours underneath and you get a picture. Making 'real' art needs too much brainspace sometimes.
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Aug 31, 2022 02:55
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I would personally rather no foods touched any other foods until I am deliberately mixing them myself but everyone is different I think.
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Aug 31, 2022 13:59
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Bank posted:Something I've had trouble trying to figure out is when to say "bye" to people. A couple of examples: It's rude not to respond when someone says bye to you, so it kinda seems like *they* were or are being a bit unpleasant, at least at baseball practice. This might play into a cultural difference, though. I can't remember a time in the UK I've said 'bye' to somebody and not had them respond, that would be considered a deliberate snub here.
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Aug 31, 2022 21:33
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It's totally legit to feel furious and sad and to have a sort of grief response for the life you might have had. But try not to get too caught up in it. You know now! You can change things for yourself now. That's good.
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Sep 4, 2022 10:56
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organburner posted:I know you shouldn't go around thinking "what if" but it's hard not to. It's like invasive thoughts. Oh sure and you shouldn't try to push it away completely. You should definitely examine it and feel your feelings. But there comes a point where being soaked in rage and resentment and sadness will just damage you instead of being cathartic and that's the time to try to shake it off, I reckon. If I'd had ADHD meds maybe I'd have graduated from university successfully and gone further and had money now! Or maybe I would still have hosed up and be miserable in a research position somewhere, or been knocked over by a bus on the way to the post-grad course, or anything, you know? It's not wrong to feel that way but 'what if' is kind of a useless exercise because you just can't know that anything would be better.
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Sep 4, 2022 14:35
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Klaaz posted:Since about age 12 I forced myself to write in capitals because my handwriting is terrible. Used to be pretty decent at drawing though. I write in capitals if I want anyone else to read it. My handwriting is godawful. I had a special holder thing put on a pencil after everyone else had gone over to pens because they decided my grip was the issue, not 'she is trying to write faster than her hand can keep up with'. I draw well though.
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Sep 12, 2022 19:25
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for fucks sake posted:Not only is my handwriting terrible, I don't even hold a pen the normal way. Oh Christ no. That's something you might be able to get an accommodation for if you feel like making the effort.
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Sep 15, 2022 20:09
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I'm only hesitating because the waiting list here is two years, and the questionnaire my gp sent me when I asked was clearly geared towards very 'traditional' male-typical autism.
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Oct 11, 2022 15:14
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Jefepato posted:So I was apparently diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder when I was around 10-12. I remember talking to doctors then, but no one actually told me about my diagnosis until I was in my early 30s and requested my medical records from the hospital for an unrelated(?) situation (I'm also bipolar, although I'm on medication now and it fortunately hasn't been a big deal since). loving hell that must have been a bit of a revelation. Glad you're doing okay! Being misunderstood constantly is the main thing that makes me suspect I might be on the spectrum. If I had one wish, I would wish that everyone would just give me the benefit of the doubt and not assume I'm saying something with a bunch of hidden meanings that they can get upset about. I don't even know how to do that, goddamn it. I never know what I said to make people suddenly get all upset.
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Oct 29, 2022 18:03
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White Light posted:drat someone's gotta make a study guide for Aspies or something, really wears you down when you give it your best only to keep getting rolled by a dude who's putting in bare minimum effort, really kills your drive. Aw heck I'm sorry it made you feel bad! Nobody was cross or anything I don't think. Just one of those moments and everyone understood you were well-intentioned!
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Dec 7, 2022 12:10
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organburner posted:Yeah I'm still slowly working at it because being able to do 2d art would be very nice for my 3d and gamedev hobbies. Gonna see if I can find a copy of that book somewhere. I've found Drawfee's drawclass videos very useful! they go over how to practise and such in a very understandable way.
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Dec 7, 2022 12:38
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There's really no reason *not* to get assessed if you can access it.
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Dec 9, 2022 05:27
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mystes posted:Sorry for making so many posts and obviously I just need to shut up and go get assessed but I just want to clarify for anyone who had the misfortune of reading my previous post that after thinking about this way too long, I realized I'm a total idiot. You don't need to apologise for posting about yourself here in the 'what the hell is going on with me anyway' thread  Yeah, autism care and diagnosis is in a poo poo place now but it's been a lot worse. If you'd like more specific advice about how to get an assessment, if you mention roughly where you are - even down to the country or state - someone might be able to give advice. Cool if you're not comfortable putting that out there, though.
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Dec 9, 2022 13:43
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Reminds me of a lot of kids' cartoons of the 80s where the message (enforced strongly by the networks) was CONFORM. CONFORM TO THE GROUP. 'The complainer is always wrong' is how the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon writers explained it. Like, you can give the message of 'we are all different and should try to get along together and enjoy our differences' without giving the message of 'we are all different and that's bad, everyone be more like The Leader Kid and stop being so peculiar' but cartoons back then could not manage it. I watched so much of the loving Get-Along Gang.
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Dec 10, 2022 12:23
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I have eyeball problems and can recommend wearing an orange eyeshade at night to cut down on intrusive glaring lights.
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Dec 16, 2022 12:13
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Bobby Deluxe posted:I find sometimes I can read cues, but allistic people lie when you call them out on things, and as with the classic double empathy problem, I get blamed for rules everyone else seems to know. God yeah that second part resonates really strongly.
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Jan 4, 2023 13:46
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FirstnameLastname posted:
I like all of this Ceci n'est pas une pipe sorta stuff
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Jan 25, 2023 01:14
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Bank posted:One thing I'm struggling with right now is with recent layoffs going on. I have some anxiety that can/might happen to me which I assume is "normal" but I don't seem to have much empathy for people that were laid off, nor do I know how to maintain these relationships outside of work. As to point 1 - it is better to be kind than not to be kind. You may never see this person again. But you *might*, and there is no benefit to anyone if you're unkind in their card. Also it's possible the things you don't like about them didn't bother anyone else, and the emotions expressed in the card were genuine. 'lazy and unproductive' in particular don't always have much to do with how well-liked someone is. Point 2 - yeah, usually people just say 'let's stay in touch!' and share numbers and then don't really do anything about it. That would be normal for colleagues you're not really friends with. It is not weird to be friends with co-workers, but it is not weird *not* to be friends with co-workers. That's different person to person.
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Jan 26, 2023 12:37
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 01:24 |
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Yeah, I think you might be right there. Understanding underlying causes is important for managing any state of being. Like, several people could have a headache and be acting the same way - tetchy, irritated, rubbing temples - but one might be dehydrated, one might need new glasses, one might be underslept and the fourth might have a really serious issue, and you can't know that from behaviour.
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Jan 28, 2023 18:30
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