Ask me about: Being an adult with autism! Or just autism in general.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask me about: Being an adult with autism! Or just autism in general.

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

This the general autism thread? I am coming to terms with having it, finding out after masking for nearly 40 years. Semi self-diagnosed, between reading a bunch of books and talking with a therapist. It�s been a weird week of a watershed moment that has brought my so much of my past into focus.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2022 22:35

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 13:30

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Violet_Sky posted:

I'm sure many of us know that feel. For me, it explains a lot but makes me angry that whoever initially diagnosed me with NVLD should have known better somehow

given my job I�m glad I�ve never had any mental health diagnoses beyond depression, and even having that in my medical history made getting a medical clearance a chore

if I were to be officially diagnosed I�d lose my job, or at the very least be unemployed for a long time while I worked through a shitload of red tape, because the FAA is stuck in the 1950s :smith:

not that it really matters, just being able to make sense of who I am is an indescribable weight lifted, I don�t need a doctor to definitively tell me I am to feel that

# ¿ Aug 29, 2022 22:45

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Quorum posted:

Hello friend, you're not alone!

Also lol at an agency overseeing an intricate, highly orchestrated infrastructure system where laser focus and deep subject matter knowledge are major assets deciding it needs fewer autistic folks.

I�ve been doing it for a decade now and took to it like a fish to water lol.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2022 02:04

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Way back when I used to poke fun of myself for �my �tisms� which is apparently not a thing normal people do* After a while I realized that was a bit of an off color joke and I really shouldn�t be making it so I quit and didn�t give it much more thought. Fast forward a few years to now and by random chance I stumbled on the concept of masking autism and fell down the rabbit hole and spent a ton of time researching it (which while reading I found out was a special interest thing) and talking to a therapist about it. I�ve been struggling with anxiety and malaise/depression for well over a year that I could just never figure out the root cause of, life has been objectively going pretty good for me lately, which only fed back into the stress I was feeling, like why are you being sad you dumb bitch things are going great. Come to find out how I�ve been feeling is basically the definition of masking burnout, and it all lined up perfectly with life starting to normalize after the pandemic when I got to hide behind a literal mask for two years with limited social interaction to boot. I started reflecting back on my entire life and all the confusion and awkwardness and on and off depression suddenly clicked. When it all started to make sense I sat and cried tears of relief from the massive weight that had lifted. I�m not broken, I�ve just been subconsciously hiding who I am. It�s been an odd couple of weeks coming to terms with it and noticing more things that I do (like I am now acutely aware of just how much I fidget, legit never noticed it before) I am still fighting with occasional denial about all of it, but the shoe couldn�t possibly fit any better. It definitely has helped talking about it, thankfully my wife and the friends I�ve told have been super supportive.

*this was apparently a type of masking coping mechanism as well

# ¿ Aug 30, 2022 06:06

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

organburner posted:

I wish my brain would shut the gently caress up. How do I stop thinking?

I ride bikes a lot, and have for many years, for this exact reason, and have always said I like bikes because it shuts my brain up.

Turns out bikes have just been big stim machines for me all these years. :unsmith:

The strangest part of this journey of discovery for me is how plainly it�s always been there, even in the ways I�ve described things.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2022 14:48

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Bobby Deluxe posted:

How the gently caress do you go up to a person you don't know and just start talking to them.

Some things are just completely unknowable

Bobby Deluxe posted:

Greatest of luck and jealousy to any autistic person who gets themselves a job where they can just sit by themself and get on with it without burning all of their mana on other people's bullshit.

It�s so nice, especially flying cargo I deal with even less other people bullshit.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2022 15:28

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Since the steam deck has come out I�ve been playing a lot of lawn mowing sim in bed to fall asleep.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2022 15:41

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Klaaz posted:

Power Wash Simulator is the poo poo

this is a great bedtime game too :hmmyes:

so is truck sim, I�ve fallen asleep and woken up to my truck in all sorts of predicaments lol

# ¿ Aug 30, 2022 23:08

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

organburner posted:

I'm fine with most food though some cause me stomach issues later on, but I can not stand the textures of tomatoes.
Been trying to eat them in like burgers or if I go to subway or the like I'll have them add some.

But I can eat tomato sauce or finely chopped tomatoes. It's weird. I hate it, I wish I could just eat an tomato.

Hello fellow tomato texture hater.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2022 17:56

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Had my first meltdown in months today dealing with lovely RJ45 connectors of all things, feels bad man. :smith:

# ¿ Nov 30, 2022 04:23

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Bobby Deluxe posted:

One thing that will almost always gently caress me up is something that should work, but doesn't, usually because of shoddy workmanship on the part of the manufacturer.

There is always a little, indignant part of me that's like "It said it does the thing! Why is it not doing the thing?!"

Bonus blowout points if it is sitting there acting as if it is doing the thing, and not only not doing the thing, but any error checking systems are acting as if it is doing the thing, and there's no way to tell it to retry the thing because it thinks its doing it.

# ¿ Dec 1, 2022 05:53

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

HopperUK posted:

There's really no reason *not* to get assessed if you can access it.

If you have any wonky job requirements it might not be in your best interests. But that aside go for it.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2022 05:29

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Violet_Sky posted:

Does anyone else know how to rebuild your overstimulation tolerance? I find that I can barely get through a social event without Noise becoming overwhelming. I think part of it has to do with Covid setting me back socially. It isn't the loudness more like background noise if that makes sense.

If you figure it out let me know I�ve been a mess as the world gets back to normal lol

# ¿ Dec 16, 2022 00:27

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

wife and I stayed in for xmas and new years, it was lovely

# ¿ Jan 2, 2023 01:18

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:

i don't read nearly as much now as i used to

same, it makes me sad sometimes

I just can�t get into fiction books like I could when I was young

# ¿ Jan 24, 2023 06:49

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

VR chat stresses me right the gently caress out, no thank you

# ¿ Feb 21, 2023 18:06

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

credburn posted:

I'm starting to suspect -- and maybe realize -- that the reason I avoid going to so many social occasions or meeting with so many people is that I'm not confident I will be able to mask. It's exhausting.

I feel very torn, like, I worry so much that my masking is not effective enough when I want it to be, but other times I worry I mask too much and look like I'm claiming to have autism for ~reasons

This is why I rarely have more than a single drink if I do go out.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2023 04:58

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

I just cut out most/all caffeine for the last week and my anxiety levels have gone down notably.

Not going to continue completely cutting it out, but will treat it more like alcohol and an occasional treat versus a daily morning ritual.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2023 07:13

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

bagmonkey posted:

And for the record, an evaluation is NOT necessary to like, identify as ASD. I honestly only recommend it in cases like mine where you aren�t sure yourself and others consistently downplay what you have to deal with

big this, there�s far too many potential negatives career wise and far too few benefits as far as support, capitalism is hell

# ¿ Jun 4, 2023 21:25

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Curb Your Enthusiasm is another good one

# ¿ Jun 7, 2023 12:44

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Dance Officer posted:

How do the people in this thread feel about having children?

nope

# ¿ Jun 18, 2023 22:14

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Cloacamazing! posted:

I wouldn't describe what I feel for my husband as butterflies in the stomach or anything romantic. I do love him, but it's more of a feeling of safety? Which I'm told is literally the worst thing to say about your romantic partner, but it's true. I feel safe and relaxed when he's around, more than with anybody else. He's fine with that.

That�s where my partner and I are, we�ve been married for almost 16 years so apparently it�s working out okay. Neither of us can imagine being with anyone else at this point.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2023 14:27

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Zeg posted:

This thread feels like all my secrets have been put on blast.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2023 03:57

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

bagmonkey posted:

I will mention: Surrounding yourself with the right people does a lot to fix that problem, at least its gone a long way for me. Most of my friend groups feel like an even give-take and I'm rarely put in a position where I feel like I'm saddling a large amount of the burden. The only place poo poo becomes unbalanced is soccer supporter-related poo poo but that's also 100 levels more dramatic than it should be lol

Reflecting back on things I�m pretty sure my two closest friends are likely undiagnosed and my wife has ADHD, so I�ve somehow successfully surrounded myself with like minded people.

(also I only really have 2 close friends I do things with, that�s enough)

Bobby Deluxe posted:

How would people feel about a new thread / relocation & renaming of this thread to E/N?

Clearer thread title in E/N to make it easier to find, or no?

I rarely stray from my bookmarked threads these days so that works for me.

e.pilot fucked around with this message at 17:18 on Jul 1, 2023

# ¿ Jul 1, 2023 17:16

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

mystery bug posted:

"everything I enjoy is stupid and dumb and nobody else likes them and I shouldn't talk about them because everyone will be bored and think I'm an idiot with bad opinions" I tell myself, while actively hanging out with a bunch of people who love the exact same things as me

can we somehow make a paragraph the thread title

# ¿ Jul 5, 2023 02:35

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

I didn�t mind the first couple of seasons of BBT but yeah once I put two and two together that sheldon was autistic and that was the entirety of the joke, I can�t stand it anymore.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2023 14:24

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Kesper North posted:

you know what i just realized we have in common with modern aircraft?

leading edge flaps

# ¿ Oct 23, 2023 03:16

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 13:30

e.pilot: Nov 20, 2011; sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit

Comstar posted:

Dear Autism Thread. I need help.

My son is 6 years old, almost 7. He was diagnosed with level 2 Autism several years ago. We have our ups and downs but it's not been bad. His only real issue until last month was not being toilet trained. He'd use the potty at home but refuses to use the toilet anywhere and has been going to school in nappies.

3 or so weeks ago, it started. School refusal.

He's always been hard to get out of bed in the morning but he's been going to daycare/kindergartner year 3/4 and prep. But now he's in grade 1 and we've hit School refusal. We've got an online meeting with all therapists and the school vice principle but I fear there is no solution. I feel very hopeless about it.

Any advice from parents who went through it, or those of you who lived through it.

What are his special interests?

# ¿ May 20, 2024 19:46

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask me about: Being an adult with autism! Or just autism in general.