Ask me about: Being an adult with autism! Or just autism in general.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask me about: Being an adult with autism! Or just autism in general.

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

More of a question for op if he's still around or for other people here. How did you find out/learn/get diagnosed? Was there a doctor? Did you just kind of figure it out?

I'm on the spectrum, but I didn't realize it until a couple years ago when I got a therapist. She asked me after our first session if I was autistic, and I was like wtf.

So I talked to my wife and she said yeah of course. That was news to me. I always just thought that I was just different than everyone else, or I just didn't put as much worth on social aspects and stuff.

Funny part is I had read about masking and knew what it was, I just thought to myself 'well yeah but when I'm trying to fit in by understanding what others are thinking all the time, that's just normal, everyone does that'

Really helped me understand a lot of my interactions with other people.

Anyways the reason I'm thinking about this more lately is that my mom was in the hospital(dying) in November so I drove down to see her for the first time in about a decade and we were talking about my diagnosis and she says, "oh yeah Dr So-And-So(our family doc) thought you might have been autistic since you didn't start talking until super late, but I knew you were just special and I thought that a label like that would hurt you, so I never got you tested!"

# ¿ Feb 11, 2022 03:14

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 15:10

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Organza Quiz posted:

Wtf who doesn't tell their kid and important fact like that about them.

I thought I was probably autistic ever since I was a teenager, I just related to a lot of autistic traits. I think the one that really tipped it over for me was learning that sensitivity to textures could be part of it.

I just waited until I had a stable well-paying job to get diagnosed because it's expensive and I didn't need it to get access to support because I didn't really need much support.

An abusive parent lmao there's a reason I hadn't talked to her for a decade

# ¿ Feb 11, 2022 05:55

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

SetsunaMeioh posted:

However, I'm very open about this to friends and interacting with others online, since it's much easier to explain myself and it helps to gauge who I can engage with in good faith.

Pretty much this.

Also I only got my current job specifically because they were hiring ND people so there's that

# ¿ Jul 3, 2022 16:53

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

girl dick energy posted:

Actually, I do have a question. Usually, when someone says I don't 'seem autistic', it feels like both a victory and a defeat. A victory because I'm getting a good grade in Acting Neurotypical, but a defeat because it's always with this undercurrent of 'you don't match my stereotype of autistic people, maybe you're not actually autistic'. It's very frustrating.

Is that... normal's a bad word. Common?

i just ask if they want me to do 'an autism' for them

# ¿ Jul 15, 2022 02:03

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Violet_Sky posted:

I barely have any food sensitivities either. Now clothing on the other hand...

I have like thirty shirts but I only wear four because the others feel bad

# ¿ Aug 1, 2022 04:14

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Fwiw the autistic community as well as researchers are pretty understanding of self diagnosis

https://depts.washington.edu/uwautism/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/Self-Diagnosed-Adult-Autism-Resources-handout-04.05.21.pdf

# ¿ Aug 4, 2022 02:52

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

I mean yeah the word excuse is very negative. Sounds like they think autistic people just have an easier life, which is laughable

# ¿ Aug 6, 2022 15:54

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Culex posted:

I think I might be autistic and it's messing with me. I didn't know symptomatically that adult women show it very differently from the old descriptions when I was growing up.

So I found someone who specializes in adult autism and emailed her, and got an appointment this Friday (2 weeks after first contact), and she's going to do a simple screen when I get there? I don't know if I'm more nervous to be 'normal' or to have it flag me. Also this is going so fast.

Maybe I'll join your ranks soon! Been lurking here for a few months.

It helped me to take this before I went but it sounds similar to what she's going to do.

https://embrace-autism.com/raads-r/

# ¿ Aug 11, 2022 13:50

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Culex posted:

Thank you!

I guess scoring 151 is a little ... telling.

Yeah I scored a 203, my nt wife 63 and my dad 50

# ¿ Aug 12, 2022 02:12

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

This post got me to thinking.
https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/wp09ls/why_is_there_an_increased_rate_of_autism

I feel like the entire comments are just full of people saying it's all diagnosis, but I don't think that's really the whole story?

My uncle has been teaching since 1985 (retired in 18) and we talked about autism earlier this year after I came to terms with my diagnosis.
He says that there's a lot more problems in general now, not just people being diagnosed, which tracks with what I would assume.

We all live near a bunch of pollutants, tons of stuff we assumed was safe for years causes cancer or hormonal issues, etc.

What do you think of this?

# ¿ Aug 15, 2022 17:53

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Bobby Deluxe posted:

.

But even taking those vibes at face value, there's less coal in the air and lead in the water supply now - maybe autism is how humans are 'supposed' to think and boomers all have coal / lead poisoning? That might sound harsh, but it's no worse than OP's uncle accusing us of being brain poisoned.

That wasn't him, nor was it anything him and I talked about. We didn't discuss causes, just the increased incidence he observed.

The causes thing was something me, an autistic person, has been thinking about on my own.

And no one said anything about cure.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2022 08:28

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Cloacamazing! posted:

It'd be pretty cool if there was medication to support your ways of coping with things. If I could take a pill before a get-together that would help me filter all those noises, actually follow the conversation and not get tired after a short while from the effort, that would be a huge help and significantly improve my social life and overall stress levels.

Thinking about it, this is actually a really bad example. It should be acceptable for me to just take a bit of time off during a social event if I need it, without people questioning or complaining.

I mean, nowadays it is acceptable a lot of the time. The thing is, I don't WANT to get massively overwhelmed because I hear a kid scream once or twice. I would like to be able to function normally in public without being a wreck later.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2022 07:16

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

I've always just said good and moved on

# ¿ Aug 29, 2022 04:02

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

e.pilot posted:

given my job I’m glad I’ve never had any mental health diagnoses beyond depression, and even having that in my medical history made getting a medical clearance a chore

if I were to be officially diagnosed I’d lose my job, or at the very least be unemployed for a long time while I worked through a shitload of red tape, because the FAA is stuck in the 1950s

not that it really matters, just being able to make sense of who I am is an indescribable weight lifted, I don’t need a doctor to definitively tell me I am to feel that

Self diagnosis is pretty accepted in the community. If you read books or essays written by autistic people and say 'wow this sounds like me' well.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2022 03:01

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Lol the psych I saw for my adhd diagnosis thinks I don't have autism because 'you understand why people do what they do in social situations'

Yeah I spent 28 loving years studying other people trying to figure out why I didn't fit in, and by the time I got to college I found pretend to be normal! And then it took me 6 years to get my degree because like every third semester I would have a breakdown, drop all my classes and not leave my dorm for a month.

Also I did really well and maintained focus on all the testing they did, which is because they're new and like a game and I play a ton of games

Whatever, I think she is maybe just not that good at her job. Apparently I made a normal amount of eye contact, which is looking at her for one second precisely every ten seconds that we talk, which I learned early on was about how often I needed to look at an authority figure to make them think j was paying attention.

Maybe I should tell her some of this but then again I'll never see her again so it'd be on the phone.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2022 06:46

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Shibawanko posted:

i mostly really dislike it when i see another person think in logical extremes all the time because thats the symptom i try to fight the most in myself. i have a friend with autism who will just drag politics into every conversation and i kind of resent him for how unaware he seems of how he kills the mood with yet another rant about capitalism or whatever

Autistic people are (usually) more morally consistent and labeling that a symptom is buying into allistic=good imo

# ¿ Sep 2, 2022 03:14

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Shibawanko posted:

black and white thinking is a symptom though. and constant ranting about stuff that, even if not untrue, is either already obvious or not in anyone's power to change, isn't what i'd call good behavior

Having consistent morals is a symptom in the same way you could say bending rules for your own benefit is a symptom of being allistic. If that makes sense.

There's some specific studies that pertain to this that I'll try to remember and dig up before work tomorrow

Regardless 'good behavior' is another thing that's dictated by NT people. Lol if making someone uncomfortable by pointing out a problem or hypocrisy is a symptom. The word, symptom, itself has negative connotations ime

# ¿ Sep 2, 2022 03:31

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Shibawanko posted:

if you do it all the time compulsively, to people who already know everything you're about to say, it's definitely a symptom

# ¿ Sep 2, 2022 03:43

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

For one, dismissing something a person is doing as a symptom takes away their agency... Because it's not like someone other disease where you have a list of physical symptoms. It's part of your individual brain.

It's a symptom based on what, the allistic people who have defined what 'normal' is and anything deviating away from that is bad?

Seems a lot easier to dismiss someone when you think of their actions and words as a symptom rather than something they consciously do.

Autism commonly has specific effects but it's an individual disease and instead of symptoms, it's their personality.

Idk if any of this makes sense, I already took some sleeping meds and am very semi conscious

# ¿ Sep 2, 2022 04:01

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

RPATDO_LAMD posted:

autistic symptoms and autistic traits are the same thing
the difference in word choice is just fluff

and yes as an autistic person your personality is definitely a symptom. because you would not have the same personality if you were not autistic
(and that's why i would never take the mythical Autism Speaks "autism cure" even if it existed. it would basically be like tossing out your mind and replacing it with a whole new unrelated person piloting your body)

The words you use isn't just fluff. Personality trait vs personality symptom. Like just say those two phrases lmao.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2022 05:52

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Yeah my writing is sometimes so bad that I can't read it at all. generally my wife can make sense of it though lol.

But I've tried and can't write any better.

organburner posted:

I was constantly in trouble in school for my bad penmanship and despite trying so loving hard to remedy it I just... I can't. My hand just starts cramping up after a little bit of writing.

Now I'm trying to learn how to draw and it's not going great either.

my hand cramps the gently caress up too

# ¿ Sep 12, 2022 14:59

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

skooma512 posted:

Came from the ADD thread. I'm engaged to literally an autism therapy person, so I'm likely not on the spectrum in any way that matters.

You should read the intro chapters of the book Journal of Best Practices

# ¿ Nov 29, 2022 22:53

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Perestroika posted:

Yeah, big same on that. I was on at a convention kinda thing for work a while back, and towards the evening there was an afterparty going on with music for socialising and networking. Everybody else clearly had no problem communicating, as they were all just standing around having regular conversations. But I just absolutely could not make out any words at all unless they were literally shouted into my ear. I had a bartender look me in the eyes, ask me a question, and I heard nothing but noise.

This is definitely me

# ¿ Dec 18, 2022 05:25

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Stoca Zola posted:

Don't panic! Having a name or label for how you've always been is kind of like someone pointing out that you're now breathing - being aware of it doesn't make it bad, but thinking about it can be annoying until you get used to it again. Keep on breathing!

I think I used that same test to confirm my suspicions and maybe all that's changed for me is I am a little more aware of situations that are likely to overwhelm me and take I measures to make things easier for myself, instead of trying to power through. Just giving myself more wiggle room for if things don't go perfectly well, in general. And I'm trying to be more aware of clumsy or wrong communication that rubs my partner up the wrong way. It never bothered me that I didn't fit in with other people, and it just turns out that I do fit in with some people, we're just all autistic.

Yeah I mean figuring this stuff out helped me a lot. (along with my mom telling me I was recommended for testing as a kid but they didn't because she knew I was just 'special')

It makes it easier to understand why I feel the way I do about stuff, how I react in situations that are loud and uncomfortable, etc

# ¿ Jan 19, 2023 23:05

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

FirstnameLastname posted:

im not panicking I'm just like kinda in shock still because i didn't let myself even consider it as a thing for like 20 years. i just decided i wasn't on the autism spectrum and then never reexamined why until recently, and the only reason was because i was a kid and already didn't like having ADHD so I didn't wanna have another thing, then forgot that was my initial justification for denying i had it

i acted like it was out of the question for so long and have been looking for other explanations to all of these things for so long and feeling like it was all just stuff i was doing wrong or couldn't figure out & not ever considering that I'm just kinda like that. it's more relieving than anything because it makes so much poo poo make sense. im trying to get in to a dr now to get an actual evaluation, i should be able to see one sooner or later but it's nothing else explains things as well at all

be aware that your mitigation techniques such as 'making eye contact every 11 words during a conversation' and 'wearing gym shorts and a tshirt every single day but its weather appropriate because you're there in july and not january' may be reasons that they think you aren't autistic

# ¿ Jan 20, 2023 06:01

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

oh yeah, i was reading like, way past age appropriate books at a very young age bc i just devoured any and everything book related. our middle school would let me go to the high school library once a week (the school was about half a mile away) to check out books starting in 5th? grade

i don't read nearly as much now as i used to

# ¿ Jan 24, 2023 06:17

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

e.pilot posted:

same, it makes me sad sometimes

I just can’t get into fiction books like I could when I was young

I can reread a series but starting a new book or series is hard unless it's exceptional and grabs me right away.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2023 08:11

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

It's crazy how many health issues I'm uncovering in my late 20s that could have been addressed as a kid but I hated attention so it was easier to just live with stuff and not draw any attention to myself.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2023 16:30

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

angry emu posted:

Long boring post ahead

So around the middle of last year a previous psychologist informally diagnosed me as ASD level 1 (though he referred to it more often as Asperger's). Basically, he raised the possibility with me that I might be on the spectrum, we discussed things for a couple of sessions and he looked at the DSM-5 or whatever and was like yeah, I'm pretty sure you have this. Pretty much immediately after that he moved his practice to another city, so I found a new psychologist at a clinic that specialises particularly in autistic people. She recommended I look into a formal diagnosis so I would be able to access supports and stuff. After considering it for a while, I decided to do it. I went through another clinic that does assessments and it was not cheap but luckily I was in a position to afford it.

I finally got the report back, and my diagnosis is ASD level 2 (level 2 social communication, level 1 restricted/repetitive behaviours). This caught me off guard a bit as I anticipated level 2 would be much "worse" than what I was, but really when I think about it, it's not that much of a surprise. Like, I live alone and have held my current job for years, which sounds impressive. But I live alone because having other people in my living space like my younger sharehousing days loving sucked and was lowkey a nightmare. This current job is the only one I've been able to hold down in my life and it's because it's highly autonomous, in something I find interesting and involves minimal interaction with other people. I know from past experience I would be hosed if something happened and I had to find other employment. My sensory issues are pretty bad; I wear noise cancelling headphones everywhere except where it would be obviously inappropriate/ridiculous to do so and have done this for many years, and if I go out to a club or concert with my friends or something, there is a risk that if things get too loud or overwhelming I shut down completely and become essentially non-verbal, which to everyone else just translates as me suddenly acting like an rear end in a top hat. I order my groceries online unless it's something I desperately need to have straight away because I can't stand the lights/noise/people in the way at the store. It feels very precarious because outwardly I might look like I'm doing pretty good but I've just created all these ways to get "around" my problems. And even with all that, part of me still has this weird imposter syndrome thing and wonders how I got to the age of 29 before this was figured out (I do know, it's in the report. I attempt to mask like a mf and autism is harder to detect in girls).

In the report, the neuropsych talked about how I presented in my appointments for the testing, referring to stuff like avoiding eye contact, which I knew I did, and flat effect (I really thought I was coming off fairly normal), and also stuff like "unusual in social overtures" and "limited socio-emotional reciprocity." And like, I knew that. For as long as I can remember people have had no trouble telling me I come off as everything from shy to weird to creepy to rude, no matter how heavily I was masking and how Cool and Normal I was absolutely certain I was acting. It just bothers me that no matter what I do, whether I "be myself" or mask and try to be normal, it doesn't matter, because everyone sees through it and almost nobody likes it. I'll get over it in a few days no doubt, I'm just more down than I expected given that I knew I was going to have the diagnosis confirmed anyway.

the diagnosis doesn't change who you are, and who you have been. it just gives you a starting point for looking to change, if you even want to

# ¿ Feb 21, 2023 08:04

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Just because you don't naturally fit into social structures doesn't mean you have no right to exist. That's a bit extreme.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2023 04:28

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

I would love to get disability but I am forced to deal with people at work instead

# ¿ Apr 7, 2023 23:53

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

skeletronics posted:

Oh, cool. That's encouraging. Hopefully other companies do something similar. Another worry I have is now I've been out of the game so long my skills have atrophied. I've definitely forgotten most of the things I learned in college. I'm confident I can pick it back up again quickly, just gotta buckle down and do it before I try to interview anywhere. A project to work on would help a lot. I've dabbled in game development a few times, but never finished anything. The market is flooded with them, but I think I'll make a simple Vampire Survivors-like game, I'm not trying to sell it, but it seems like something a single person dev can reasonably finish, and my therapist thinks that finishing something would be good for me.

I know Wells Fargo has a neurodiversity program where they hire mostly programmers who fit that category.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2023 19:03

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

skeletronics posted:

Oh yeah, I'm also very anti-capitalist and would very much like to not work for banks, insurance companies, oil companies, etc.

One thing I do like about my current job is that the goal of our whole organization has nothing to do with profit. I have issues with a lot of the 'education' that happens here, but at least I'm not busting my rear end to make some prick who couldn't care less about me even richer. The small businesses I've helped run or worked for have been pretty good about caring about employees, at least.

I have a neurotypical brother who has worked for all three of the kinds of institutions I listed above, including Wells Fargo. He hated every one of those jobs, but for some reason remains convinced that working for big corps is the goal, and he just has to find the "right" one. I don't get it. He worked for a major oil company for a while. They have a policy of firing a fixed percentage of their lowest performing people every year, so each year he had to essentially re-apply for, and defend his position at his job. That sounds like an absolute nightmare.

I mean me too but I like having food and housing. If you're making it without it though that's good.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2023 23:53

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

coolusername posted:

Wait, is it an autism thing that I can’t stand cringe comedy or jokes based in bad interactions? I don’t just cringe, I find it almost physically painful - even really lighthearted fictional harmless stuff like the bad flirting in Spiderverse I close my eyes and block my ears until it’s over, as discreetly as possible, because it makes me feel sick.

Yeah I hate stand up but idk if it's a tism thing or just me. But yeah I have the same visceral reaction of cringing so bad it hurts my soul.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2023 05:24

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Bar Ran Dun posted:

I screened for G&T and tested into that in 1991. Aspergers isn’t in the DSM until 1994. It leaves entirely in DSM V. G&T programs were catching many of the high functioning autism spectrum folks even after DSM IV. If you are around forty that’s why you might have ended up there.

I'm 29 but this does make sense lol my lovely rural school probably didn't have anyone capable of making any changes regardless.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2023 04:00

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 15:10

SSJ_naruto_2003: Oct 12, 2012

Injera posted:

I'm sorry you've also gone through that, it is really frustrating to untangle!

And thanks for the warning, I'm (mostly!) ok even if they don't diagnose it as I don't think there's tooooo much they can do to help anyway, as it's all stuff I've got to deal with in therapy and all that. May not even be worth the effort, as just knowing what the cause is allows me to logic my brain into relaxing and breaking some spirals before they could get worse. It's not a magic fix, but it definitely makes life a little easier to manage and for that I'm thankful.

This has been my experience too. Knowing why my brain is misbehaving makes it way easier to manage myself.

# ¿ Jan 27, 2024 19:40

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask me about: Being an adult with autism! Or just autism in general.