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I would never be the one to tell her what she can and can not do but I'm worried the enforcers at Manwich might feel differently. We've locked the doors and shuttered the windows and hid in the basement for several hours and nothing happened so are we in the clear? Normally I wouldn't be this paranoid but my 9-year-old recently played a board game that said ages 12 and up on it so I might already be on a watchlist. |
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Oct 1, 2019 02:00
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| # ? May 2, 2024 14:22 |
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a burly lumber jack pops up from his rest on the forest floor and picks up his enormous ax while sniffing at the air, "there has been a disturbance in the manosphere..." |
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Oct 1, 2019 02:26
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she's cheating on you op
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Oct 1, 2019 02:31
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deep thoughts about girl scout cookies suddenly
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Oct 1, 2019 02:47
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looking in the mirror, brown splotches run down my front, a trail of slop running up to my immaculate chinstrap goatee, this is just what joe wanted ...or is it? look closer, i untie the straps around my neck, carefully folding the plastic bib from my chest, revealing a stainless white tee below, so fresh in appearance you'd expect it to still have fold lines. I can already hear the sirens in the distance, we must go.
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Oct 1, 2019 03:02
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Well, it’s more environmentally friendly at least
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Oct 1, 2019 03:50
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At least she didn't eat a Hungry Man dinner like my wife did, we don't talk about it anymore... |
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Oct 1, 2019 04:14
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google THIS posted:I would never be the one to tell her what she can and can not do but I'm worried the enforcers at Manwich might feel differently. We've locked the doors and shuttered the windows and hid in the basement for several hours and nothing happened so are we in the clear? A manwich is just a wizard trying to be progressive. |
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Oct 1, 2019 04:23
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"Honey," I shout "did you...did you clean up in here?" I look frantically around my mancave. Vacuum cleaner lines in the carpet. The bottles on the wet bar...organized. "Yeah," she calls back, "I was cleaning already and the smell was starting to get into the rest of the hallway!" My blood runs cold. How could she? The sanctity of my mancave has been desecrated. "Maybe I can fix this," I think to myself but no. It's already too late. So many beautiful memories. So many Sundays watching football, drinking beers and cocktails, farting up the couch...no. No. Don't reminisce. As much as it pains me I know what I must do. Bleary eyed with tear stained cheeks I head directly for the garage. I suppose that deep down I always knew this day would come. I grab the gas can and dry my eyes, holding back what tears remain. After what seems like an eternity I am back in my mancave. I apply splashes of gasoline as methodically as I can. My Fatheads look on. Standing in the doorway I light a match. As the acrid smell of sulphur mixes with the tang of gasoline in my nostrils I let loose a single tear. Steadying my resolve, I toss the match. "Goodbye Sundays with the boys," I whisper. Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 05:34 on Oct 1, 2019 |
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Oct 1, 2019 05:22
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Luvcow posted:a burly lumber jack pops up from his rest on the forest floor and picks up his enormous ax while sniffing at the air, "there has been a disturbance in the manosphere..." |
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Oct 1, 2019 05:37
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OP, do you hear steel drums and calypso music extolling the virtues of canned sloppy joe filling approaching? If so I'm afraid it may already be too late.
Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 05:47 on Oct 1, 2019 |
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Oct 1, 2019 05:44
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so i'm snuggled up in bed, wearing a cute little snout, enjoying a delicious hot dog wrapped in dough when i hear a knock at the door "Police, open up!" "But it's not named after you!" i protest "Hand over the pastry and no one gets hurt!" |
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Oct 1, 2019 06:10
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civil appetizer forfeiture has really gotten out of hand
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Oct 1, 2019 06:10
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she was probably reaching for a ma'amwich |
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Oct 1, 2019 07:17
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My child ate a manwich and now he's a dude with a job. Be safe everyone |
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Oct 1, 2019 09:53
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It’s “warlock”, say it right! |
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Oct 1, 2019 12:01
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loving fascist! |
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Oct 1, 2019 12:07
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:My child ate a manwich and now he's a dude with a job. Be safe everyone Now, this one's simpler, just eat some Trix to cancel it out. |
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Oct 1, 2019 13:06
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i made some sloppy joes and then didn't finish so i am eating my sloppy seconds joes currently they don't taste as good for some reason.
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Oct 1, 2019 13:16
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does she still pour blue fluid on a tampon 1x a month? |
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Oct 1, 2019 20:22
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google bottoming OP
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Oct 1, 2019 20:30
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Bacon Taco posted:google bottoming OP I can't, I'm only allowed to google THIS |
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Oct 1, 2019 20:51
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google THIS posted:I can't, I'm only allowed to google THIS Bing bottomming OP |
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Oct 1, 2019 23:45
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google THIS posted:I can't, I'm only allowed to google THIS Google posted:
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Oct 2, 2019 01:38
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honor dictates that you kill the manwich...and frame it on your wife
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Oct 2, 2019 02:14
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how do you kill a manwich? sure you can destroy it's bun clothes, but essentially a sloppy manwich is indestructible.
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Oct 2, 2019 02:21
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Warm up a can of Manwich and have your wife apply it liberally to your face and chest. Spatter some on your belly. This way you can look like the one who ate it and throw the Hunt's group off of the scent. |
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Oct 2, 2019 02:21
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whoever thought soylent green would be so easy to pull off just by irony labelling
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Oct 2, 2019 02:30
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ur wife ate a whole german city?
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Oct 2, 2019 02:45
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nut posted:ur wife ate a whole german city? sometimes you start münchen and get carried away |
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Oct 2, 2019 03:54
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Wait. I thought Manwich was from Manchester. |
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Oct 2, 2019 04:05
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canyoneer posted:sometimes you start münchen and get carried away 
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Oct 2, 2019 06:47
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google THIS posted:Now, this one's simpler, just eat some Trix to cancel it out. I tried this and he simply could not get them in his mouth. Next I tried cinnamon toast crunch, but all he said was, "I can't remember why I used to like these." |
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Oct 2, 2019 07:01
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Better start charging him rent. |
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Oct 2, 2019 07:17
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i flunked out posted:does she still pour blue fluid on a tampon 1x a month? I had a headache so my friend gave me one of her Midol and now I can do this |
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Oct 14, 2019 05:13
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i been thinking about this a lot and maybe she's buildin up to eating a whole man
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Oct 15, 2019 20:21
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nut posted:i been thinking about this a lot and maybe she's buildin up to eating a whole man call your dad this poo poo just got real
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Oct 15, 2019 22:50
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not to enforce a gender binary here but i thought manwiches were called 'warlocks'
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Oct 16, 2019 00:17
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and Dad said I'd never land my hand model dream job *snarfs all the ladyfingers* |
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Oct 16, 2019 01:30
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| # ? May 2, 2024 14:22 |
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DOPE FIEND KILLA G posted:not to enforce a gender binary here but i thought manwiches were called 'warlocks' they used to be, now everyone p.much goes by wich. manwich is straight up toxic magicality tho |
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Oct 16, 2019 01:31
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