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"Honey," I shout "did you...did you clean up in here?" I look frantically around my mancave. Vacuum cleaner lines in the carpet. The bottles on the wet bar...organized. "Yeah," she calls back, "I was cleaning already and the smell was starting to get into the rest of the hallway!" My blood runs cold. How could she? The sanctity of my mancave has been desecrated. "Maybe I can fix this," I think to myself but no. It's already too late. So many beautiful memories. So many Sundays watching football, drinking beers and cocktails, farting up the couch...no. No. Don't reminisce. As much as it pains me I know what I must do. Bleary eyed with tear stained cheeks I head directly for the garage. I suppose that deep down I always knew this day would come. I grab the gas can and dry my eyes, holding back what tears remain. After what seems like an eternity I am back in my mancave. I apply splashes of gasoline as methodically as I can. My Fatheads look on. Standing in the doorway I light a match. As the acrid smell of sulphur mixes with the tang of gasoline in my nostrils I let loose a single tear. Steadying my resolve, I toss the match. "Goodbye Sundays with the boys," I whisper. Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 05:34 on Oct 1, 2019 |
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Oct 1, 2019 05:22
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 14:10 |
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OP, do you hear steel drums and calypso music extolling the virtues of canned sloppy joe filling approaching? If so I'm afraid it may already be too late.
Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 05:47 on Oct 1, 2019 |
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Oct 1, 2019 05:44
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loving fascist! |
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Oct 1, 2019 12:07
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Warm up a can of Manwich and have your wife apply it liberally to your face and chest. Spatter some on your belly. This way you can look like the one who ate it and throw the Hunt's group off of the scent. |
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Oct 2, 2019 02:21
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Wait. I thought Manwich was from Manchester. |
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Oct 2, 2019 04:05
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Better start charging him rent. |
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Oct 2, 2019 07:17
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 14:10 |
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:My wife ate half a man, cackling and yelling, "you are what you eat!" repeatedly. Should I be worried? As an expert on women this is natural. |
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Oct 16, 2019 13:41
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