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op i will summarize every movie for you 1 - anakin, a slave child who grows up to become a muderer, wins his freedom in space nascar 2 - anakin gets that cougar puss, reveals he hates sand, and even genocides sand people to prove how much he hates all things sand related 3 - anakain gets the cougar pregnant, and his uncle palatine teaches him it's okay to murder children, then he goes surfing in a volcano and gets his limbs chopped off by his bestie and in his angsty rage tells everyone his name is vader and to stay out of his loving room 4 - vader and uncle palpatine and uncle tarkin blow up a planet with the death star. anakin's son, luke learns how to use a laser sword from old man kenobi across the street. then he and his friend han solo shove a potato into the death star's exhaust and the engine blows a head gasket and a few pistons shatter and do you know how much it's going to cost to fix this poo poo vader? i mean goddamn you know the space mechanics are gonna bend us over and assfuck us hard when we see that bill. anakin also saves a pricess 5 - anakin makes out with the princess who is also his sister. vader freezes han solo but not before getting billy dee william's autograph because he is one suave motherfucker and vader just cannot stop gushing over how fly this man is. also he tells luke that he's his dad. his evil child murdering planet exploding dad who also severs luke's hand just to be a dick. 6 - vader and palaptine get the death star back from the space mechanics. luke and all of his friends are gearing up to shove another potato up that sumbitch but there's force field now and they have to break it down so they attack it. vader's gang is hanging out and they get owned by lovely teddy bears and i am not making that up. return loving sucks. also luke owns his dad and uncle palpatine. vader find redemption in death despite spending his whole life committing atrocities on a scale that can only be measured in megahitlers 7 - harrison ford can wash his hands of this bullshit once and for all by allowing his character to be killed off. it's literally episode 4 with different characters doing different poo poo 8 - ha well that's $8 you're never going to see again. the director phoned this one in every step of the way and it's so bad it doesn't get a sassy summary Horace Kinch fucked around with this message at 18:10 on Oct 24, 2019 |
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Oct 24, 2019 18:07
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 01:42 |
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