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Hyrax Attack! posted:King’s Quest 5 on PC. One of the first adventure games I played at a cousin’s house but I was baffled by the story (had not read the manual). You’re the king but nobody cares and you have no money, and many citizens kill you on sight. We thought we were making progress by buying a pie then eating the pie, but nope can’t win now. I’m not saying it was a bad game, we had lots of fun with the variety of ways our hero could drown after wandering a foot into the ocean. Half the point of the King's Quest games was that if you didn't do some little something, like punch a frog in the face making it found BMW, you couldn't finish the game. On top of that, the game would cruelly mock you for it as well. These games came from a company that had a hooker biting your penis off as a game over scenario.
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Oct 25, 2019 08:13
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Wise Fwom Yo Gwave posted:Mikie, by Konami. Title looks like it says "Nukie"
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Oct 25, 2019 09:25
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Dr. Quarex posted:Wow, I watched this for a few minutes and now I am 100% convinced this game deserves an award for being the most unexpected insane nonsense from a Nintendo-era game I actually managed to complete this game when I was a kid, about 11-12 years old I would guess and english as a second language. Definitely not an easy game to complete back then and with lots of sudden "gently caress you, game over" moments. My game for this thread, and a huge regret in hindsight, is Phantasy star for the master system. I had no idea what was going on in this game and just got killed when leaving the starting town, so I went back and exchanged the game for Danan the jungle fighter. At least I could play that game  Also I remember Phantasy star being pretty expensive compared to all the other games available, I guess due to the battery backup and large ROM size. I remedied this by playing through Phantasy star just a month ago, definitely a great game :-)
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Oct 25, 2019 15:46
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Dragon Warrior 2 was most of this. Castlevania 2 was like that as well with those villagers.
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Oct 25, 2019 18:31
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Sewer Shark for SegaCD. 9 year old me had no clue what the gently caress to do with that
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Oct 30, 2019 02:07
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ironically illusion of gaia is probably in my top-ten SNES games that have held up it took me months to beat the first boss, and the two vampire bosses are legit hard. i beat the whole thing once, but the best part of the game was jumping around on ledges in Freesia. great soundtrack, and a few of the level designs were downright gorgeous for 1992 or whenever
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Oct 30, 2019 03:17
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A surprisingly large amount of SNES games have held up, since sprites haven't aged near as bad as 3d from the PS1 era. A shame the N64 was so bad, with a bad controller and less than ten or twelve quality games
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Oct 30, 2019 03:26
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i say swears online posted:ironically illusion of gaia is probably in my top-ten SNES games that have held up The first boss was really hard, people always talk about the vampires but I just dark friar'ed them and I think it took me two or three tries, they get pretty easy if you focus on one and realize that you can just block their normal shots. The first boss was an rear end in a top hat though and the space you had to fight him in was very contained, you just had to wail at him and run away really hard from his forehead laser One thing I really love about those games is the realism they put into depicting the ancient ruins you travel to, Angkor Wat actually looks like the place, my favorite scene in the game is probably when you get to the top of that temple and you get this weird vision of a city (actually a mode 7 map of Shinjuku in Tokyo, perfectly true to life with building placements and everything, although you wouldn't know it unless you look at the image without the scaling effect). Shibawanko fucked around with this message at 23:33 on Oct 30, 2019 |
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Oct 30, 2019 23:30
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I think the issue people had with the Vampires in Illusion of Gaia was that there was one? Dark Space that had the Freedan statue, and in order to get to a later part of Mu, you had to use Will's abilities, so people who ran into the Vampire boss without returning to the dark space to become Freedan meant you fought them with shorter range and weaker attacks.
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Oct 31, 2019 14:25
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I still need somebody to explain basically every Atari 2600 or Apple ][ game. Yar's Revenge is about a space bug I guess, Raiders is about Indiana transitioning between screens with differing color palates, Ghostbusters is about holding your dick impotently until the ghost gets board and slimes you. Journey is about running in outer space to four chords of Don't Stop Believing on a loop. Football was about two teams of three line dancers each, taking turns to kick a hockey puck. I had access to about a hundred of these old games and I probably vaguely understood about 5% of them. I guess Choplifter was about Vietnam? Karateka is the only non-text adventure I remember that actually tried to coherently convey a story. Edit: I also didn't understand I was destroying my hands using those old joysticks for a couple hours. Edit 2: What the gently caress was going on with Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves? Am I Ali Baba? PerniciousKnid fucked around with this message at 21:34 on Nov 1, 2019 |
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Nov 1, 2019 21:30
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PerniciousKnid posted:I still need somebody to explain basically every Atari 2600 or Apple ][ game. In River Raid, you're raiding on a river Content: in elementary school, it took my class a comically long time to realize that the goal in Cross Country USA was to pick up and haul commodities, instead of just screwing around being truckers. We were truck-simming before it was cool.
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Nov 2, 2019 02:20
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I can’t imagine that anyone who played Gyruss EXCLUSIVELY for the Atari 2600 would know what in the hell they were doing.
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Nov 2, 2019 05:06
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L'Empereur for NES was a game I first played when I was 10 and had no idea what I was doing I got a lot better, doggedly, after several rentals, and when PS1 games coming out meant the store was selling their NES carts for ten bucks, I picked it up (because someone already snapped up my favorite rentals, DW3/4) never cleared it, but finally managed to conquer Britain when I was about 20 despite there being so many other better Koei games by then so many notebook pages full of strategies I tried and requests from officers
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Nov 2, 2019 15:31
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Hachi machi, for Quest 64?! I rented that stupid bullshit twice and from a cursory glance at youtube, got less than a minute's worth of real play into the game as a 4-year-old. yikes.
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Nov 2, 2019 20:18
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nah posted:Sewer Shark for SegaCD. 9 year old me had no clue what the gently caress to do with that Same. My sister and I couldn't figure it out for like a decade until one day my sister was like, "Waitaminute, it's just Simon." "... Now how do we turn?"
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Nov 2, 2019 20:22
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Blaster Master - I didn't own any other non linear games so it never occurred to me that I needed to backtrack to the beginning of the game to get to level 4. Zelda 2 - the letter to cross the bridge. I spent so much time trying to jump the gap. I was afraid of the monsters so I tried not to venture off the roads. We only had one Babbages in town and the owner kept the Nintendo Powers in a glass display so we couldn't leaf through them. One day he left the display open and I quickly grabbed the Blaster Master and Zelda ones before he could see. The internet really changed things.
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Nov 3, 2019 02:02
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What was really funny about the Space Shuttle was that the only thing I’ve heard that comes close to that for the astronauts was that a certain power toggle had to be done in under a minute.
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Nov 3, 2019 03:38
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I’ll add the Populous game for the SNES. I know now that it was the worst version of it, but I just couldn’t understand it. This would not stop a later 3D Populous game being one of my favorite games at the time.
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Nov 3, 2019 03:42
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Every Old School RPG I've ever played. I grew up on consoles and I like RPGs so I made a real effort into getting into the genres origins. I just can't do it. I'm aware that the early Might and Magic and Ultima games are great but they're just too archaic for me. Anytime I have to bust out my phone to take notes? I'm out.
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Nov 3, 2019 04:07
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I owned a Populous game, I think it was Populous 3, which was cool except that all the villagers in your town made this horrible loving lip smacking noise whenever they ate or drank, so I returned it to the store.
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Nov 3, 2019 05:26
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I remember playing Frankie Goes To Hollywood as a kid on my Spectrum and having no idea at all what was going on. Coming back to it as an adult armed with the knowledge that Frankie Goes To Hollywood are a band, and that Hollywood is not a literal wood, I'm reassured to learn that neither of those pieces of information make the game make any more sense.
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Nov 3, 2019 11:30
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I played a lot of SimCity 2000 as a kid despite having no idea about anything and never having a healthily running city.
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Nov 3, 2019 11:42
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Final Fantasy on NES. I knew to buy weapons but didnt know you had to equip them, nor did I understand that you shouldn't run from every fight so as to get no xp. Needless to say the first boss ripped me a new one as I was level 1 with no gear equipped and I figured the game was just borderline impossible and I didn't know the ultra secret cheats that whoever previously rented the game used to get as far as they did.
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Nov 4, 2019 05:04
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The idea of an adventuring party spending all their money on equipment and then just leaving it on the ground and running in terror through a fantasy realm until being instantly killed by the primary antagonist is pretty solidly hilarious, thank you
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Nov 4, 2019 05:09
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Dr. Quarex posted:The idea of an adventuring party spending all their money on equipment and then just leaving it on the ground and running in terror through a fantasy realm until being instantly killed by the primary antagonist is pretty solidly hilarious, thank you this is sort of how my first Undertale run went
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Nov 4, 2019 05:14
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Rollersnake posted:Haha, years ago when I was playing Columns against my older cousin, and his son was watching us play: <3 Legacy of the Wizard. Played as a child and would choose the cat so I could just wander around with no danger. Played again as a teen and got a feel for how to use the items and reach more areas, but still had no idea what the objective was until I looked it up. I love that crazy world. It's really impressive how memorable and unique the various areas were. In a time before mini-maps, that was so critical.
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Nov 4, 2019 16:01
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: "Uh, why do you say that?"
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Phyein posted:Final Fantasy on NES. I knew to buy weapons but didnt know you had to equip them, nor did I understand that you shouldn't run from every fight so as to get no xp. Needless to say the first boss ripped me a new one as I was level 1 with no gear equipped and I figured the game was just borderline impossible and I didn't know the ultra secret cheats that whoever previously rented the game used to get as far as they did. Oh yeah the first time I played FF1 I was maybe 7? and I had no idea about leveling, equipping weapons, etc. since it was my first RPG. I got to Garland and promptly ate poo poo
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Nov 4, 2019 16:52
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Most confusing game I played as a kid was Solar Jetman for the NES. It has a really cool and realistic movement system where you have to manage your rocket fuel as you traverse a low-gravity planet/moon. But there's zero tutorializing and your objectives are super unclear and as a kid I never got past the second loving level. Cool game though; I enjoyed it when I came back to it as an adult.
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Nov 4, 2019 18:05
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Randaconda posted:A surprisingly large amount of SNES games have held up, since sprites haven't aged near as bad as 3d from the PS1 era. I can think of more than that but it is really difficult to do so and most likely impossible if you don't list anything Mario-involved. anyway content. When I was younger I would play my sister's Game Boy (and then eventually got one of my own when I turned 6). There was the obvious not understanding Golf, where I thought a larger score was better (this is also why I didn't understand why Jack Nickalaus Golf on the PC would always go "finally" whenever I finally sunk the 10th putt on a hole for the longest time). But then there was Bart Simpson's Escape from Camp Deadly. In this game Bart is ostensibly supposed to pick up a bunch of flags in an area of a camp that seems more like a prison while avoiding bullying camp counselors (or throwing boomerangs at them if you found Lisa in the level) under the aegis of "Ironfist Burns", a nephew of Mr. Burns who we never heard about before or since. What transpires is a lot of confusion about where you're going and what to do and getting killed by bees while you get horribly digitized speech clips of Bart saying things like "eat my shorts" only it comes out more like "wentowitch". It also didn't help that I really didn't have any concept of The Simpsons when I was 4 outside of vague recollections of "don't have a cow, man". Weirdly enough this game apparently came out a whole year before the Kamp Krusty episode that this game seems reminiscent of so 
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Nov 4, 2019 19:22
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My friend had Camp Deadly, it was a bad game, I also had no idea what the gently caress to do.
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Nov 4, 2019 19:39
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I rented a lot of lovely Simpsons games as a kid and loved them for some god-forsaken reason. I think the first game I rented when I got a Genesis was Bart vs. the Space Mutants lol
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Nov 4, 2019 20:23
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Bart's Nightmare wasn't terrible
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Nov 4, 2019 20:55
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Bart vs. the Space Mutants had some cool puzzle elements. Bart vs. the World was a janky platformer and wasn't very good but I loved it for some reason.
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Nov 4, 2019 20:56
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Orcs and Ostriches posted:Bart vs. the World was a janky platformer and wasn't very good but I loved it for some reason. Same. I think I just liked the variety in level design. I also loved Virtual Bart but really only because of the tomato/egg tossing levels
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Nov 4, 2019 20:57
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Yeah the tomato/egg levels were good. I liked the waterslide and biker levels a bit as well. The platforming levels were some jank-rear end british platformer poo poo so I wasn't a fan of them.
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Nov 4, 2019 22:11
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Shadowgate for the NES. Rented it once and had no idea wtf was going on
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Nov 4, 2019 22:12
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Magician for the NES, in which I tried to do things, kept being told I was dehydrated, keeled over and died, and couldn't figure out for the life of me WTF.
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Nov 5, 2019 01:18
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Dragomorph posted:Magician for the NES, in which I tried to do things, kept being told I was dehydrated, keeled over and died, and couldn't figure out for the life of me WTF. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbYmg4JB2gk
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Nov 5, 2019 01:50
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It looked so good in Nintendo Power! But it was a bit much for my kid brain I guess.
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Nov 5, 2019 03:29
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Dragomorph posted:Magician for the NES, in which I tried to do things, kept being told I was dehydrated, keeled over and died, and couldn't figure out for the life of me WTF. This looks amazing. Based on the fact that I've never heard of it I have to assume it's got a fair amount of jank?
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Nov 5, 2019 15:11
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