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Terrifier is a solid pick. I'm a horror gal through-and-through but that movie is straight smashed assholes.
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Oct 29, 2019 04:33
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Oh gently caress I forgot to put 2017 Mummy on there doing that now
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Oct 29, 2019 04:36
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Darth Brooks posted:The Last Jedi should get mention for attacking the original three Star Wars movies. Lmao.
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Oct 29, 2019 08:36
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Sleeveless posted:WORST MOMENT: I mean, if you’re going to point to related media as the “worst moment” of a movie, how can you turn a blind eye to this?  It was easily one of the most evil moves in modern movie marketing and way worse than some silly music video.
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Oct 29, 2019 10:41
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I'm going through my Letterboxd, and here are all the movies I've given less than one star to: Delirium Mute The Angry Birds Movie Tremors 5 Addicted to Fame Hellraiser: Revelations Salt Transformers: Dark of the Moon Silent House I remember being legit angry about how bad Delirium was, but don't really remember anything about it. Addicted to Fame is a 'documentary' about Anna Nicole Smith's final days, but it's more the guy who directed her last movie talking poo poo about her for an hour or so because she was unprofessional right before she died. It's the same guy who made Time Chasers and he is just terrible. The other ones, I don't really remember much about, so I guess they weren't rage-inducing to me.
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Oct 29, 2019 10:58
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axelblaze posted:Fran, I know you just changed the name of the thread but you know what you have to do It's too long to fit. 
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Oct 29, 2019 12:46
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Taintrunner posted:Also I had to look but The Lovely Bones, a dire, disgustingly empty movie about a raped and murdered girl who turns into a ghost and her Mark Wahlberg dad tries to solve the murder, came out in 2009, taking it just out of eligibility. It ends with the child rapist and killer falling and dying accidentally. Not arguing against the quality of the movie, but that's directly what the source material, Alice Sebald's novel, does, and it's thematically the whole point: that life's not interested in getting closure on tragedy, or justice being served, it's about trying to pick up the pieces and move on despite the pain. Jackson's adaptation is muddled and wastes his potential, but the story is pretty much the same as the novel. Anyway, it's nowhere near as dire as, say, Hellraiser: Judgement or as meandering as Downsizing.
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Oct 29, 2019 13:05
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Here is a list. 10)Foodfight Yes it’s uniquely ugly, corporatist, unpleasant, and it spends its whole run time reminding the audience that they could easily watch Casablanca instead, I can’t hate it because (as another goon mentioned) my thread on Foodfight! got quoted in the New York Times, so it gets the best spot on my worst-of list. 9)Beyond the Black Rainbow I know lots of people love it, but I couldn’t stand it. Extremely slow and plodding, where every action takes minutes to build up. The imagery is cool but by 20 minutes in I was already tired of long one-color shots of people doing nothing or acting vaguely menacing. I can appreciate what it’s going for but it did absolutely nothing for me. Bonus points for playing Venom, though. 8)John Dies at the End Incoherent, unfunny, and ugly as sin. Don Coscarelli has made wacky movies with weird tonal shifts and screenplays before and they’ve turned out very well (Phantasm is a drat classic!). John Dies at the End is rushed and lacks any real charm or effort, and really thinks it’s funny. Shameful wastes of Paul Giamatti and Clancy Brown. 7)Godzilla The 10 or so minutes where Godzilla goes beast mode are great! Shame the rest of the movie actively avoids being interesting and spends most of its runtime following a blank slate character. “That’s the point” does not excuse your film from being a tied. 6)Much Ado About Nothing Literally one of Joss Whedon’s home movies that got a theatrical release. Filmed in black and white for no discernible reason, Whedon does Shakespeare no favors with his terrible visual sense. Who cares. 5)The Avengers The only people (I’m including all the cast and crew) who put effort into this one were Mark Ruffalo and Tom Hiddleston. Everyone talks in the same voice, the internal conflicts are completely arbitrary, the stakes are never taken seriously because everyone’s too busy making smartass quips, and the climactic battle is with a bunch of monsters who are never introduced beforehand. Combine that with cheap-looking, poorly-filmed action scenes and the damage this franchise as a whole has caused to cinema, this one deserves a spot on any worst-of-the-decade list. 4)Wonder Woman At least Batman vs Superman is trying to say something, and Suicide Squad and Justice League are baffling in how terrible they are. Wonder Woman is just another boring-rear end Marvel movie, but with an even worse script than usual. As a superhero movie, war movie, and fish-out-of-water story, clumsily throwing 2.5 movies into a blender and setting it on frappe does not a good film make. The themes are also confusing and slightly offensive given real historical events. Gal Gadot is a bad actress, and giving all the Amazonian women an Israeli accent was such a bizarre misstep. There’s a lot to unpack with how bad Wonder Woman was, no amount of diversity in front of and behind the camera can hide its faults. 3)Pacific Rim At least Godzilla tried going for something different. Pacific Rim was an homage to old kaiju films, but forgot how buckwild the human plots in those movies could be, and instead creates a cast of the most boring, predictable character archetypes. No sense of pacing, and the creature design is severely underwhelming, to the point where you can barely tell them apart. Charlie Day and Ron Perlman are just about the only redeeming parts of this slog. 2)Thor: Ragnarok I know a lot of people say this is the best/only good MCU movie, and I’m completely baffled. Thor: Ragnarok is insulting towards its audience, and basically god modes the experience of watching a movie. All emotional complexity is removed for the sake of maximum audience engagement. The Asgardian who betrays Asgard to work for the villain gets a big redemptive moment at the end, but every time he’s given a chance to do something bad, he’s stopped at the last moment. It glides from scene to scene like this, with no real stakes and no actual character. It doesn’t even trust its audience enough to get jokes, it feels like half the punchlines are followed up by a second punchline letting the audience know that, yes, they just heard a joke and should laugh at it. It wants the audience to think it’s a slick action-adventure movie in the vein of Indiana Jones without putting in the work. Utterly miserable and cynical. 1)Jurassic World Speaking of miserable and cynical, the king of all cynical blockbusters. Jurassic World holds absolute contempt for the audience without being provocative, insulting you for watching a boring CGI blockbuster while bringing nothing to the table other than CGI monster fights. Nothing in this piece of poo poo works. The color grading is hosed, Chris Pratt is wildly miscast, the jokes all fall flat, a major character subplot is dropped halfway through the movie and never resolved, there are too many storylines, not one but TWO scenes rip off the initial base entry from Aliens, one death in particular is extremely nasty, misogynistic, and tone deaf, the list goes on. Pile on shameless nostalgia tripping, expecting you to equate this with one of the all-time greatest blockbusters, and you’ve got one big pile of poo poo. Friends Are Evil posted:Justice League (2017) - I mean, BvS and Suicide Squad are probably worse, but kind of surprised this didn't get mentioned yet. Maybe the elusive Snyder Cut somehow makes this a good movie, I can't say. But what got released in theaters is absolutely miserable. I don't like the awkward "superhero jokes" in Marvel movies, but these clash with the tone so much. I do not like Whedon's Avenger movies, but this is probably the more deserving Whedon film to ridicule. At least BvS had a specific intention in mind, even if I didn't care for it. Justice League is a terribly made movie, but it kind of rules in how much it sucks and lays bare how shaky the foundation of superhero megaevents is. There’s really nothing quite like it, given its massive budget and how atrocious it looks.
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Oct 29, 2019 15:02
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Jurassic World is a good pick. It’s a profoundly ugly movie, from the cynical nostalgia baked into it, to the absolutely abysmal washed-out CGI, to the charmless characters who exhibit no personality outside of their occupations. I should like a movie that featured a subplot about the government using dinosaurs to hunt terrorists, but JW is so utterly joyless it can’t even be amusing in its stupidity.
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Oct 29, 2019 15:16
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Tart Kitty posted:Jurassic World is a good pick. It’s a profoundly ugly movie, from the cynical nostalgia baked into it, to the absolutely abysmal washed-out CGI, to the charmless characters who exhibit no personality outside of their occupations. I should like a movie that featured a subplot about the government using dinosaurs to hunt terrorists, but JW is so utterly joyless it can’t even be amusing in its stupidity. It's kinda funny that they didn't think the scary dinosaurs were enough of an antagonist, so they get Vincent D'Onofrio to be a human villain. And then completely underused him.
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Oct 29, 2019 15:19
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Tart Kitty posted:Jurassic World is a good pick. It’s a profoundly ugly movie, from the cynical nostalgia baked into it, to the absolutely abysmal washed-out CGI, to the charmless characters who exhibit no personality outside of their occupations. I should like a movie that featured a subplot about the government using dinosaurs to hunt terrorists, but JW is so utterly joyless it can’t even be amusing in its stupidity. Just thinking about “what kind of person wears cargo shorts on a first date!” ”what kind of person brings an itinerary on a first date!” makes me cringe. Franchescanado posted:It's kinda funny that they didn't think the scary dinosaurs were enough of an antagonist, so they get Vincent D'Onofrio to be a human villain. And then completely underused him. But then they ALSO had to have Verizon Wireless Presents Indomitus Rex because every lovely blockbuster needs too many plot threads to juggle properly.
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Oct 29, 2019 15:24
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LesterGroans posted:This is a very good choice. The movie is so bad that, even though I think Anne Hathaway's "I Dreamed a Dream" is very good and the filmmaking works for it, the rest of it is so terrible that it doesn't even matter. How should we film this grandiloquent, sweeping epic told across three decades of turmoil and civil unrest in 19th century Paris? I know, let's hold the camera five inches away from everybody's sweaty face at all times. Simply baffling. I love both the book and the musical, the casting here was (mostly) on point. It should have been a much better film than it was.
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Oct 29, 2019 15:25
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Franchescanado posted:It's kinda funny that they didn't think the scary dinosaurs were enough of an antagonist, so they get Vincent D'Onofrio to be a human villain. And then completely underused him. It’s really weird that he has like, no impact on the story. You could completely remove him and none of the narrative beats would really change. You’d lose like, one action sequence and whoops there you go, can’t have events unfold naturally
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Oct 29, 2019 15:33
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exquisite tea posted:How should we film this grandiloquent, sweeping epic told across three decades of turmoil and civil unrest in 19th century Paris? I know, let's hold the camera five inches away from everybody's sweaty face at all times. "I'm thinking blue." "Like? The movie should be sad? It is pretty melancholy." "No. I mean, the movie should be blue." "When you say blue?" "All of it. All of it blue." "We can't make the whole thing blue." "Greys. Lots of dull greys in between the blues, so the blues pop more!" edit: Fun story: I saw Les Misérables in theaters with a friend who had no idea what it was, just that Hugh Jackman was in it. She thought I was joking when, right before the movie began, I told her it was almost 3 hours long and was an operatic musical, so there wasn't really dialogue in between songs. Franchescanado fucked around with this message at 15:38 on Oct 29, 2019 |
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Oct 29, 2019 15:35
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One that just came to mind is Drawn Together. It was just the showrunners leaning so hard into the novelty that it was R-rated to the point that they didn't have to actually write jokes. Just show nudity and curse and that's enough to kill 90 minutes. Plus the whole thing came off as really bitter that their show got cancelled after three seasons. While I don't think Dark Phoenix is even the worst superhero movie of the decade, it gets special mention for being both bad AND a mulligan. It's almost impressive that it's the writer's second attempt to adapt the same story in the same quasi-continuity and to come out with that.
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Oct 29, 2019 15:42
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I didn't even remember that there was another adaptation of Les Misérables. I know there was one in the 90's, because when I worked in a movie theater I got so many people thinking they were clever by pronouncing it "less miserables"
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Oct 29, 2019 15:44
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Oh poo poo. Gavok, you just reminded me. X-Men: Apocalypse. Ab-so-lute-ly dreadful film. I hated it. I never get angry watching a movie in theaters, but that one pissed me off.
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Oct 29, 2019 15:44
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The one "redeeming" factor of Les Miserables is Russell Crowe having absolutely no business being there. Seriously! He cannot sing and he's playing Javert! The rest of the film's problems, I think, come from Tom Hooper trying to make it un-theatrical, where they're singing live and the colors are dreary and the show just has no art to it for the sake of "realism." Why he thought that would make a good movie, I don't know, but I see a consistent pattern of thinking. But the what the gently caress was even half the thinking behind casting Russell Crowe?
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Oct 29, 2019 18:08
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Precambrian posted:The one "redeeming" factor of Les Miserables is Russell Crowe having absolutely no business being there. Seriously! He cannot sing and he's playing Javert! The rest of the film's problems, I think, come from Tom Hooper trying to make it un-theatrical, where they're singing live and the colors are dreary and the show just has no art to it for the sake of "realism." Why he thought that would make a good movie, I don't know, but I see a consistent pattern of thinking. But the what the gently caress was even half the thinking behind casting Russell Crowe? I think the idea was that Russell Crowe would bring Javert's tall imposing presence but it doesn't quite work when you sound constipated singing against real theatrical actors. He does contribute to the most unintentionally funny film moment of the past 10 years however.
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Oct 29, 2019 18:17
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I think the idea of getting Crowe was he was a big famous actor who you wouldn't think would be in this type of movie and someone figured that curiosity caused by the idea of Russel Crowe singing would draw more people in than the fact he can't sing would push them away.
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Oct 29, 2019 18:21
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The most hilarious thing to me about Crowe as Javert -- and admittedly this is just speculation on my part -- is that I feel like Crowe must have insisted that he couldn't lose the Act 1 fight against Valjean. In the stage show, Valjean's freakish strength is a recurring plot point and at the end of "Confrontation" he overpowers Javert in order to escape; in the film he's cornered and jumped out the window. I always assume Crowe's ego wouldn't let him get pummeled on screen by Jackman. EDIT: edited my weird typo of Hugh Jackman, shouldn't post just before lunch I guess Guy A. Person fucked around with this message at 19:31 on Oct 29, 2019 |
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Oct 29, 2019 18:23
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axelblaze posted:I think the idea of getting Crowe was he was a big famous actor who you wouldn't think would be in this type of movie and someone figured that curiosity caused by the idea of Russel Crowe singing would draw more people in than the fact he can't sing would push them away. My drama teacher in high school believed that Crowe was the best male actor working at the time. I've always felt that they cast him to appeal to her and a similar demographic.
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Oct 29, 2019 18:30
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Clearly none of you are fans of 30 Odd Foot Of Grunts
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Oct 29, 2019 19:28
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The Counselor (2013) was really, really loving bad. I say that as a Ridley Scott fan. It is just so lifelessly miserable with a nihilist ending that does not land, even though you understand its message. I guess it is McCarthy’s fault.
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Oct 29, 2019 19:37
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Precambrian posted:The one "redeeming" factor of Les Miserables is Russell Crowe having absolutely no business being there. Seriously! He cannot sing and he's playing Javert! The rest of the film's problems, I think, come from Tom Hooper trying to make it un-theatrical, where they're singing live and the colors are dreary and the show just has no art to it for the sake of "realism." Why he thought that would make a good movie, I don't know, but I see a consistent pattern of thinking. But the what the gently caress was even half the thinking behind casting Russell Crowe? I feel like he meant to cast Jackman here.
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Oct 29, 2019 20:17
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Escobarbarian posted:
right, “incompetence”, “accidentally”, I’m sure he just slipped up and made an entire trilogy of films leading to the conclusion that Optimus Prime is a fascist in the way one would spill soda on a laptop, definitely no purpose there. DotM is one of the best blockbusters of the decade, even with its very real flaws
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Oct 29, 2019 20:27
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Watch Pacific Rim and tell me Transformers: Dark of the Moon is one of the worst movies of the decade, I dare you.
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Oct 29, 2019 20:50
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X-Ray Pecs posted:Watch Pacific Rim and tell me Transformers: Dark of the Moon is one of the worst movies of the decade, I dare you. I don't think either one of those are anywhere close to worst of the decade. Revenge of the Fallen is far and away the worst Transformers movie.
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Oct 29, 2019 20:51
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Pacific Rim was pretty great.
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Oct 29, 2019 20:54
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I don't get the hate for Pacific Rim. The sequel on the other hand...
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Oct 29, 2019 20:55
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Along with Terrifier I'd like to add the movie that introduces Art The Clown, All Hallows Eve, a movie with the single most viciously cruel and misogynistic horror scenes of the entire decade.
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Oct 29, 2019 20:56
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Laughing Zealot posted:I don't get the hate for Pacific Rim. Yea I can see that one making a Worst Of list. It has Boyega, but that's about the only thing I can say in it's favor. Terrible story, terrible as a followup to the first movie, terrible floaty special effects, not nearly enough monsters, just a boring slog all around. It can't be easy to make a boring slog out of robots+monsters+150 million dollars but they somehow did it. Hiring a guy who'd never directed a feature film probably wasn't a good start.
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Oct 29, 2019 20:59
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Pacific Rim is monsters and robots punching each other, it's not high cinema, but it doesn't deserve to be near the worst of the decade.
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Oct 29, 2019 21:03
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I have my criticisms of Pacific Rim, but that opening sequence, from the expository monologue to the first fight, is undeniably absolutely fantastic.
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Oct 29, 2019 21:05
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Jurassic World can loving eat it too. Hey lets take all the wonder, joy, fun and cool moments out of a beloved franchise and make it the most miserable, brutal, bleak and just plain unfun movie possible. I still can't get over that babysitter's death scene, it just symbolizes everything wrong with the movie. I'm a proud popcorn movie lover and I love pretty much every single Marvel film so I'm more than willing to just sit back and enjoy an action movie but man, it took an amazing concept and took it in the absolute worst direction. OpenSourceBurger fucked around with this message at 21:08 on Oct 29, 2019 |
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Oct 29, 2019 21:05
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I just realized we're at page 4 and no one has brought up the Hobbit Trilogy. Maybe we are better off forgetting it exists but I can't let it pass. Those drat films broke Sir Ian McKellens heart, that poo poo ain't right! Oh and it hosed New Zealands film industry, let's not forget that.
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Oct 29, 2019 21:31
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Laughing Zealot posted:Oh and it hosed New Zealands film industry, let's not forget that. Care to elaborate on this? Never heard of it.
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Oct 29, 2019 21:34
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Franchescanado posted:Care to elaborate on this? Never heard of it. Lindsay Ellis talks about it in her videos about the Hobbit (I think the film industry stuff is in part 2 and 3 but here's the first video if you want to watch it, it's good): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTRUQ-RKfUs
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Oct 29, 2019 21:44
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Guy A. Person posted:Lindsay Ellis talks about it in her videos about the Hobbit (I think the film industry stuff is in part 2 and 3 but here's the first video if you want to watch it, it's good): Awesome. Thank you!
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Oct 29, 2019 21:45
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Iron Crowned posted:Pacific Rim is monsters and robots punching each other, it's not high cinema, but it doesn't deserve to be near the worst of the decade. I’ve been a Godzilla fan since I was a kid, I love genre movies and kaiju movies, but Pacific Rim had very little of what’s fun about kaiju movies. Snobbery has nothing to do with my opinion of Pacific Rim.
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Oct 29, 2019 21:49
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