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The Book of Henry is so tone-deaf that it wraps back around to being good.
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Oct 22, 2019 22:31
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 15:37 |
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Well, here's my lowest rated movies for the decade on Criticker.  I must say, I remember very little about some of these; and don't remember hating Martha Marcy May Marlene that much. All of that said, I still feel very confident about rating Dinner for Schmucks worst of the decade. What a stupid, miserable, laughless affair. General Dog fucked around with this message at 23:01 on Oct 22, 2019 |
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Oct 22, 2019 22:37
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TrixRabbi posted:
I loving love this movie. When it came out I think I described it to a friend as being in "exquisitely poor taste". The climactic scene where the SWAT team flings Dzokhar out of the boat in slow mo while 50 snipers watch from the rooftops as the score blares triumphantly is one of the most striking cinematic moments of the decade.
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Oct 22, 2019 23:00
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Oh poo poo, just remembered that The Circle (2017) merits mention. It's so weird and moves so fast (cut to a swift, incomprehensible 87 minutes) that it's a pretty fun watch, but boy-oh-boy is it terrible. Special shout out to Boyhood's Ellar Coltrane who in a supporting role delivers one of the worst performances I've ever seen in a major motion picture. This was also the first Bill Paxton performance released after his death. In one scene he shits his pants, and in another accidentally gets broadcast using a penis pump.
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Oct 22, 2019 23:14
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I think the Book of Henry does have something interesting to say about our tendency to idolize the dead, to the point where their memory is some unattainable standard. Naomi Watts’ arc is basically to let go of worrying about what Henry would’ve wanted for her and just living her own life. It’s a movie about a parent who loses her child, but thematically it’s a movie about a child losing a parent.
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Oct 24, 2019 15:17
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exquisite tea posted:That interpretation might seem more valid if Henry wasn't shown to be super genius who has every suspicion about his neighbor confirmed as 100% true, plays the stock market during recess and makes enough money for his family to live comfortably for the rest of their lives. It's not Naomi Watts' memory of him clouding her judgment or anything, we witness Henry's own insufferable precociousness displayed in the literal events of the movie. Now if Henry WAS completely wrong about Maddie Ziegler's abuse and the movie then became about how his judgment was flawed then that could have maybe, in a better-written film, worked. But like people have already said, everything about The Book of Henry is screwed on wrong. It's a total confusing tonal mess for sure, but to be fair the movie does climax with Watts' realization that "oh, I'm about to kill a man because my dead 11 year old son is telling me to, maybe that's not a good idea." I also love the confusing, 100% inappropriate "will-they-won't-they" sexual tension between Henry and Sarah Silverman.
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Oct 24, 2019 16:19
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I had a nomination for most forgettable movie of the decade, but I forgot what it was.
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Oct 24, 2019 22:54
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The Giver is too bland to be memorably bad, but it's a pretty textbook example of an adaptation where the tone it aims for is completely wrong for the source material.
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Oct 24, 2019 23:14
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It also has that weird (I think dialogue-free) Taylor Swift cameo
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Oct 25, 2019 06:00
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Hell Baby (some VOD trash from 2013) is an ostensible comedy about a demonically possessed fetus/infant that bafflingly. You'd think that even for a low-brow comedy, there could be some rich material to be mined- pregnancy framed as body horror, typical infant stuff parents have to deal with (pooping, puking etc.) framed as demonic possession. The movie basically doesn't touch either premise and instead is just a joyless assortment dick and boob jokes, and some toothless riffing on The Exorcist. Tom Lennon, who co-wrote and co-directed this turd, built up a lifetime of good will from The State and Reno 911, but he seems determined to burn it all based on everything he's touched since then. General Dog fucked around with this message at 23:30 on Oct 31, 2019 |
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Oct 31, 2019 23:23
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teagone posted:
Pretty rich that Pfister dropped that sick burn just as he was getting started on Transcendence, which I have not seen but is, by most accounts, pretty goddam terrible.
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Oct 31, 2019 23:28
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The Predator by all appearances was absolutely butchered in the edit/reshoots, but at the same time I have a hard time envisioning a good version of it even if the studio had kept their hands off.
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Nov 1, 2019 04:35
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Snowman_McK posted:we did get that great essay about it, though. Which one is that?
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Nov 1, 2019 13:36
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I would never have thought about Pacific Rim again for good or ill if I didn’t see it constantly coming up on CD. It’s the C+/B minus-est movie ever made.
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Nov 2, 2019 22:59
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edit: double post
General Dog fucked around with this message at 00:44 on Nov 3, 2019 |
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Nov 2, 2019 23:11
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edit: triple post
General Dog fucked around with this message at 00:45 on Nov 3, 2019 |
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Nov 2, 2019 23:12
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edit: QUAD POST!!!
General Dog fucked around with this message at 00:46 on Nov 3, 2019 |
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Nov 2, 2019 23:14
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If I take my lowest rated of the decade and take out the comedies (highly subjective) and the DTV dreck (feels like cheating) I end up with (in chronological order): Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010) The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) The Giver (2014) Jurassic World (2015) The Circle (2017) Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017) Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) Hotel Artemis (2018) The Predator (2018) I feel pretty good about this list! I actively hate most of these movies (except the Circle, which is kind of adorably bad), and the ones that are just kind of tedious (Jurrassic World and Hotel Artemis) are still movies that I'd never want to watch again. Note: I think both Machete movies are also really bad, but I was feeling generous and threw them in the comedy pile.
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Nov 3, 2019 23:55
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garycoleisgod posted:I think the problem with Pacific Rim can be summed up as "Charlie Hunnam". Hunnam is pretty decent in The Lost City of Z, although that is a case where the movie kind of makes use of his blankness.
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Nov 3, 2019 23:57
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Iron Crowned posted:I'm kinda curious what your top 10 in both the comedy and DTV categories are. Well, I'm flattered you'd ask. There's a lot of overlap between the two: Dinner for Schmucks(2010) - least favorite of the decade by a mile The Babysitter(2017) - Profoundly stupid Netflix original comedy(?)/thriller(?) Sausage Party(2016) - deeply unfunny and viscerally unpleasant. I would rather watch Food Fight! twice in a row than watch Sausage Party again. Rapture-Palooza(2013) - direly unfunny direct to Redbox poo poo Get Him to the Greek(2010) - One of my lowest rated of the decade overall, but I remember nothing about it now. Maybe that means it doesn't deserve to be on this list; I don't know. Cold Weather(2010) - tedious Pacific Northwest mumblecore, movie just stops at the end of the second act- not sure if it's for reasons monetary or artistic but either way gently caress you Hell Baby(2013) - direly unfunny direct to Redbox poo poo Wheelman(2017) - Netflix original thriller, boring. Similar to the movie where Tom Hardy drives in the dark and talks on the phone about concrete the whole time, but somehow much more boring than that. Train to Busan(2016) - Not DTV or comedy, but also not a major American release. I know a lot of people like this one, but I just found the action very repetitive and the characters very unlikable edit: Oh poo poo, I forgot Pottersville! And Saving Christmas! General Dog fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Nov 4, 2019 |
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Nov 4, 2019 16:00
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Special shoutout to mother!, which is an objectively well-crafted movie that I hate more than most of the decade's truly bad movies.
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Nov 4, 2019 16:21
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axelblaze posted:I quite like mother! but I also I'm surprised it took 8 pages to get mentioned. It absolutely achieves what it sets out to do in a masterful way; it's just the rare provocative movie where I'm, you know, provoked. It's Blasphemous with a capital "B", and not in a thoughtless or frivolous manner. (They can use that as a pull quote for the anniversary blu-ray.)
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Nov 4, 2019 16:34
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I haven't seen it, but it seems like making Freddie explicitly a pedophile is a misstep, since Freddie has kind of come to be seen as kind of a lovable scamp over time.
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Nov 4, 2019 17:03
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It's been a little too long since I've seen it to make a detailed argument for why it's bad, but I really hated Downsizing.
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Nov 4, 2019 19:03
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I'll cape for Valerian being kind of fun, despite the lack of chemistry between the leads. It reminds me a bit of Attack of the Clones, in good and bad ways.
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Nov 4, 2019 21:37
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I’ve heard about the notorious non-ending of The Devil Inside. Where does it actually cut off?
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Nov 5, 2019 04:50
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Gavok posted:I'm kind of shocked that after 11 pages, nobody mentioned Holmes and Watson once considering how much hate it got when it came out. Never saw it, but it reminds me that The House (the one where Amy Poeheler and Will Ferrell start a home casino) was incredibly dire. It runs about 80 minutes; most of the actual plot is excised in favor of one laugh-free, interminable scene of riffing after another (not that the actual story stuff would’ve been any good either).
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Dec 6, 2019 06:35
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I'm proud that there was a moment when, as a nation, we put our foot down and told Johnny Depp, "No, we are not going to pay to see you just gently caress around for 2 hours in literally anything. I don't know why, but this is where we're drawing the line."
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Dec 11, 2019 18:29
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Edgy take, selecting a movie from 2007 for worst of the 2010s.
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Dec 12, 2019 20:46
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BigglesSWE posted:American Sniper This doesn’t really say anything about the quality of the movie, which is basically fine.
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Dec 15, 2019 05:15
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Basebf555 posted:Too much imagination and too many interesting ideas in Jupiter Ascending for it to be one of the worst. I’d put Cloud Atlas in the same camp
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Dec 16, 2019 18:51
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Waffleman_ posted:The mention of Mila Kunis reminded me The one mitigating factor is Michelle Williams as Glenda the Good Witch imo
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Dec 16, 2019 20:35
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I think I'd rather watch Fallen Kingdom again than Jurassic World, just because the "dinosaurs in a haunted mansion" thing is at least something new. Stupid, but new.
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Dec 16, 2019 22:33
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I Before E posted:I was wrong, just ended up with a Pretty Neat Nine, nine movies that are at worst pretty neat I can see reasonable arguments for all of these except Death Note, which I found pretty devoid of any redeeming value. It's a poor adaptation of the source material (which isn't necessarily a bad thing since the source material isn't very good to begin with), but it also fails as its own thing, which is primarily just a Final Destination knockoff. It's a movie so bland that it makes Lakeith Stanfield boring.
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Dec 16, 2019 23:21
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Oh yeah, famously unexamined movie The Passion of the Christ
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Dec 18, 2019 17:26
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I thought it would've been funny if American Sniper's daughter who starts out as a baby doll grew up to be a child-sized mannequin.
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Dec 18, 2019 17:56
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Empress Brosephine posted:I think sausage party is even worse than the emoji movie and surprised it's not in this thread more That is a good one, that movie sucked
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Dec 24, 2019 05:45
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Gripweed posted:Yeah I don't get how people are turned off by a movie not being subtle about the moral that poor people don't deserve to die I’ll agree to disagree
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Dec 26, 2019 17:27
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I think the suggestion that we can just push button, install communism is insulting to the all the adults in the room.
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Dec 27, 2019 00:45
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None of those are very good, but I don’t think you must have watched many movies (and that’s fine)
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Dec 28, 2019 07:28
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