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Every once and a while, I host a bad movie marathon party at my place. For one of these, the movies were The Snowman, Raw Force, A Talking Cat!?!, and Book of Henry. Snowman was weird and inept, but was a little too dull to laugh at. Raw Force was a fun, dumb exploitation action movie. Talking Cat was a great time for how borderline inexplicable and incredibly low rent it all was. But for Book of Henry? Nobody enjoyed that one. It just made everyone mad. On her way home, one of my friends made an illegal turn or something and got pulled over. The cop asked her where she was coming from and somehow this led to her spending like five minutes explaining the movie to him while ranting about it. By the time she was done, the amused officer was all, "Well, have a good night!" and let her go.
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Oct 23, 2019 15:13
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 10:40 |
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There's a movie called Surfer: Teen Confronts Fear that unfortunately isn't available to see in any way outside of special showings. And it's a shame because everything I've read and heard about it makes it seem like the true successor of The Room. The same level of passion project turned into an inexplicable mess. Which reminds me, Birdemic came out in early 2010, so it just makes the cut.
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Oct 23, 2019 16:02
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Pirate Jet posted:I have not seen The Snowman, but I guarantee you that whatever Fassbender did in that film is not worse than Elizabeth Olsen’s attempt at a Romani accent. It did have Val Kilmer's dubbed voice, which is probably worse.
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Oct 23, 2019 16:09
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A low-hanging fruit is Star Raiders: The Adventures of Saber Raine. It came out in 2017 and was featured in a recent RiffTrax Live. I believe it was mostly crowd-funded, which makes sense, as the production values are slightly above a fan-film and well below an episode of Xena. It stars Casper Van Dien and gives Cynthia Rothrock high billing despite her only showing up for two minutes at the end as a hologram high council member. It's swimming in nearly every sci-fi cliché but I cannot tell you what it's even about. It's just dull and impossible to care about. The main villain looks decent enough (he looks like a giant pimple hatched out of his skull), but the secondary villain looks like she's wearing a cheap, off-brand Wonder Woman costume. Then there's a bug alien that's supposed to be part of a group of identical fodder, but they never have more than one show up in a scene because they only have the one costume.
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Oct 25, 2019 16:28
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One that just came to mind is Drawn Together. It was just the showrunners leaning so hard into the novelty that it was R-rated to the point that they didn't have to actually write jokes. Just show nudity and curse and that's enough to kill 90 minutes. Plus the whole thing came off as really bitter that their show got cancelled after three seasons. While I don't think Dark Phoenix is even the worst superhero movie of the decade, it gets special mention for being both bad AND a mulligan. It's almost impressive that it's the writer's second attempt to adapt the same story in the same quasi-continuity and to come out with that.
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Oct 29, 2019 15:42
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Arcsquad12 posted:The Crimes of Grendelwald is an utterly wretched film and easily the worst thing ever connected to Harry Potter until Rowling inevitably tops her own nonsense in an attempt to keep her franchise relevant I haven't actually seen this one, but everything I've heard about it makes it apparent that it's probably worth being on the list. I really enjoyed the first Fantastic Beasts. It had fun characters, its magic Pokemon gimmick, and essentially did a good job being a Harry Potter spinoff. It was in another time, another place, and had a different focus, but felt just connected enough. The new characters and beasts were in the forefront while the Harry Potter connections remained in the background. All was how it should have been. So then they do a movie where the Harry Potter connections are in the foreground and the new characters and beasts are shoved into the background. There's nothing about what I've heard about Crimes that Grindelwald that sounds appealing to me.
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Nov 5, 2019 22:27
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I'm kind of shocked that after 11 pages, nobody mentioned Holmes and Watson once considering how much hate it got when it came out.
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Dec 6, 2019 03:34
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 10:40 |
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Snowman_McK posted:We did get that great breakdown of its mystifying ad campaign out of it, so it wasn't a total loss. Can I get a link for this, please? I turned my back on the whole Mortdecai thing immediately, so all I know is that nobody liked it and it didn't do so well.
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Dec 6, 2019 17:51
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