threatening foods

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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

The dangerously hot sizzling fajita plate of Damocles

# ? Oct 27, 2019 07:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 22, 2024 12:49

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Spicy meat-a-ball (possibly racist)

# ? Oct 27, 2019 07:07

Heather Papps: hello friend

"if you don't start taking responsibility for yourself, i am going to eat you, salad. this is not a threat. it is a promise."

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 27, 2019 11:28

Pissed Ape Sexist

A poptart, but it reeeeally sucks

# ? Oct 27, 2019 13:13

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

lololol

# ? Oct 27, 2019 13:20

Escape From Noise

nut posted:

what if u ate a burglar? a

ham

bur

Armed hamburglary

# ? Oct 27, 2019 14:31

Escape From Noise

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

I'll take a tall boy of bleach because I am a tough guy

Hell ya
https://youtu.be/Sumb3GYuAT8

# ? Oct 27, 2019 14:32

Manifisto

the cheese eyes me disapprovingly. "you are what you eat," says the cheese. "do you really want to be cheese? remember, the cheese stands alone."

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Oct 27, 2019 15:44

Escape From Noise

The streak grabs the knife and starts eyeing me threateningly.

"You know why it's called a steak knife, right?"

Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

# ? Oct 27, 2019 15:56

nut

i guess a kind of halberd but made of kraft dinner

# ? Oct 27, 2019 16:09

Escape From Noise

I'm sorry I'm always the guy posting songs in threads but...the intro to Eggs and Sausage fits well imho.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORCLfN1yNYk

Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

# ? Oct 27, 2019 16:13

google THIS

Pretty much anything you don't know the exact ingredients of when you have a severe nut allergy.

# ? Oct 27, 2019 16:47

Escape From Noise

Two hard salamis attached by a cloth chord.

# ? Oct 27, 2019 18:07

google THIS

A head cheese, hidden in your bed.

# ? Oct 27, 2019 18:16

Escape From Noise

google THIS posted:

A head cheese, hidden in your bed.

For midnight snacking???

# ? Oct 27, 2019 18:18

Heather Papps: hello friend

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

For midnight snacking???

imma make you a snack you can't refuse

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 27, 2019 18:53

Pissed Ape Sexist

Heather Papps posted:

imma make you a snack you can't refuse

I wake up next to a miracle whip and tuna sandwich and lose my loving MIND. I sign the deal the next day no questions asked.

# ? Oct 27, 2019 19:00

google THIS

Mob boss: He refuses to talk. Break his fingers.

(henchman dutifully cuts up the chicken fingers so the baby won't choke on them)

Baby: Dada!

Mob Boss: Now that's more like it.

# ? Oct 27, 2019 19:30

Manifisto

google THIS posted:

Mob boss: He refuses to talk. Break his fingers.

(henchman dutifully cuts up the chicken fingers so the baby won't choke on them)

Baby: Dada!

Mob Boss: Now that's more like it.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Oct 27, 2019 19:40

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

"Knife to meat you"

# ? Oct 27, 2019 22:16

Heather Papps: hello friend

google THIS posted:

Mob boss: He refuses to talk. Break his fingers.

(henchman dutifully cuts up the chicken fingers so the baby won't choke on them)

Baby: Dada!

Mob Boss: Now that's more like it.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 27, 2019 23:03

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

google THIS posted:

I'll have the "Fine, Do Whatever You Want" meal with a "We Need to Talk" shake.

A $60 dessert named "no thank you" brought out right after the meal

# ? Oct 27, 2019 23:35

Dick Bastardly: Muttley is SKYNET!!!

Mega death sauce with liquid rage

Awesome winter sig by Symbolic, love it!

Lovely sig by the masterful Matoi Ryuko, thanks!

# ? Oct 28, 2019 11:37

Half-wit: Half a wit more than baby Asahel, or half a wit less? You decide.

sometimes at the grocery store they put stickers on fruits

one time, the bananas had some stickers that said "for grilling"

now, a regular person might think this means you're supposed to put these particular bananas on a grill, but the enlightened know that those are the bananas you take in the back room and interrogate to find out where the bomb was planted

# ? Oct 28, 2019 12:42

Half-wit: Half a wit more than baby Asahel, or half a wit less? You decide.

because banana trees are a plant you see

# ? Oct 28, 2019 12:43

Heather Papps: hello friend

guys this steak started getting saucy with me so i sliced him up real bad, then ate him with some very friendly potatoes.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Oct 28, 2019 12:46

Manifisto

Dick Bastardly posted:

Mega death sauce with liquid rage

"the last dab" sounds a bit like a prisoner's final meal, doesn't it?

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Oct 28, 2019 12:54

Escape From Noise

Montezuma's Revenge Sports Drink
"It gives you the runs!"

# ? Oct 28, 2019 13:21

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.