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when she leaves in the morning make sure you slip a package or two of hotdogs into her purse along with a witty handwritten note. when she finds it later she'll think you are thoughtful and irresistible *its a good idea to not put already opened packages into her purse unless they're already in a sealed ziplock bag hotdog 
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Oct 29, 2019 17:17
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 17:57 |
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sexy pack of coupons for her on valentine's day every single one is 2 for 1 dogs baby
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Oct 29, 2019 17:46
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*sneaks up behind my lover and wraps hands around her head under her nose* guess who!
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Oct 29, 2019 17:48
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Put on some sexy jams.
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Oct 29, 2019 19:00
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'Yall cowards don't even eat 'kraut |
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Oct 29, 2019 22:50
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Drink-Mix Man posted:'Yall cowards don't even eat 'kraut |
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Oct 30, 2019 00:07
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Sally had met Tom through a mutual friend. Sally was told that Tom, an honest and kindly man who was generous and considerate- had a quirk. Sally probed their mutual friend, who merely would shrug and say, "see for yourself." So Sally asked Tom if he was interested in a date. Tom, having a secret crush on Sally; the two ran into each other at the same parties from time to time- didn't hesitate to say "yes!". Sally asked Tom if he wanted her to pick him up, since she had a car and asked him for the date- and Tom, seeming unsure and maybe even a little embarrassed, finally said "Sure. But I'll meet you outside, ok? Promise me you'll wait at the curb for me in your car?" Sally thought for a moment, and said cheerfully, "Sure, Tom! I'll beep the horn and wait!" Sally had seen bachelor pads, and understood that perhaps Tom was ashamed of the mess he had and didn't have the time to clean up. So she pulled up to the curb, and waited outside and beeped the horn. Moments later Tom hurried out the door, looked at Sally and waved, turned back to lock the door, and headed to Sally's car. Something dropped out of Tom's pocket. Tom ignored it and kept walking to Sally's car. As he got in, Sally said "Something dropped out of your pocket." Tom turned beet red. Sally said, "What's wrong, Tom?" and Tom looked down and said, "I don't want to talk about it." Sally got out of the driver's side, walked around the front of her car onto the sidewalk, and over to the object that dropped out of Tom's pocket. Tom looked anxiously out of the passenger's side window at Sally, an imploring look, almost begging her not to pursue her current action, and at the same time perhaps hoping she does; to maybe reveal that secret quirk their mutual friend had hinted at? She looked down and picked the object up. It was a hot dog. Tom got out of the car, sighed, and said, "Come with me. I can explain." So he beckoned for her to come upstairs to his apartment, where he assured her that she was protected. As they walked inside his apartment, Sally immediately could smell something, not unpleasant exactly- sort of strange; she placed it. Raw hot dogs. There were several refrigerators scattered throughout the medium sized apartment, and a pot on the stove was 3/4 full of water and had several hot dogs in it, ready to boil. She began opening the refrigerators. They were all filled with hot dogs. Sally said, "Ok; this is weird..." Tom said, "I know, I... I just really love hot dogs..." Sally replied, "No; it's not that, I get that. Trust me, I GET that. Tom, "What is it, Sally?" Sally: "I COLLECT HAMBURGER BUNS." - - - |
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Oct 30, 2019 00:23
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I’m not sure this guy really needs help because I don’t think he exists. Let’s be honest here, is there really such a thing as too many hot dogs?
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Oct 30, 2019 03:31
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Oct 30, 2019 03:34
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oh this? *chuckles* this is my effigy of you I built out of hot dogs
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Oct 30, 2019 04:10
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Just a hot dog man lookin' for a grill mate. |
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Oct 30, 2019 07:57
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tape hotdogs to your nipples for a new sexy look
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Oct 30, 2019 13:37
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cut hotdogs in half and glue them cutside down onto a cardboard platform so they are side-by-side forming a sort of hotdog fence, buy a beige fisherman hat and hide your face behind the hot dog fence and show up to your dates saying you are dressed up as hot dog wilson from home improvement talk to them from behind the fence and never let them see your face from the nose down until you nose (lol) its true love
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Oct 30, 2019 13:44
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death sext posted:tape hotdogs to your nipples for a new sexy look why one would obscure one's natural nipples, rather than adding several new sets, is a mystery a sexy mystery
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Oct 30, 2019 14:08
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Manifisto posted:why one would obscure one's natural nipples, rather than adding several new sets, is a mystery what's under those hotdogs bb...? mustard
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Oct 30, 2019 14:12
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Her: Is that a hot dog in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Ron Howard: It was in fact a hot dog in his pocket. |
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Oct 30, 2019 18:59
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Drink-Mix Man posted:My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns (tons) |
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Oct 30, 2019 19:00
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Three words: Homemade Slim Jims |
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Oct 31, 2019 07:54
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halloween dress up as a fleshy koosh ball
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Oct 31, 2019 12:43
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show her all the hot dogs, then do a big wink and say "lookit wut dis mouf do" and just CHOMP DOWN she'll be yours in no time! do i hear wedding bells?
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Oct 31, 2019 12:57
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"Do you like hot dogs?" "I prefer brats." (icily) "...I see. That's cool." |
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Oct 31, 2019 13:17
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Bustin' out those hallowed wienies. |
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Oct 31, 2019 13:54
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hide weed inside the weiners so that you can smuggle it in to sporting event
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Oct 31, 2019 13:57
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i stack my wieners one can at a time same as anybody else |
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Oct 31, 2019 14:23
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"it's a boy, it's a boy!" I chomp on the worn end of a loose cheddar stuffed oscar mayer, handing out loosies to all the other dads in the maternity ward waiting room, i cry myself to sleep
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Oct 31, 2019 14:52
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nut posted:"it's a boy, it's a boy!" I chomp on the worn end of a loose cheddar stuffed oscar mayer, handing out loosies to all the other dads in the maternity ward waiting room, i cry myself to sleep Meat cigar- sure, it's hard to light at first, but the high is incredible! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Oct 31, 2019 15:16
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*me reaching into a large bowl and producing several glistening wet raw hotdogs that i drop into the eager trick or treater's bags* "now run along and don't eat them all at once" |
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Oct 31, 2019 16:21
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*sipping a scotch with the brothers* y'see, the beauty about a whole package of hot dogs is that after the snack, you're left with a nice drink
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Oct 31, 2019 17:03
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"wow, you have so many hot dogs. well, fine by me. I enjoy a grilled wiener from time to time" "grilled? no my sweet. I boil these boys smooth"
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Oct 31, 2019 17:33
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RIP Hot Doug
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Oct 31, 2019 17:34
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*wearing a red smoking jacket and leading my guests through my enormous mansion* "as a young lad i never had many friends and my family didn't have much money. but one christmas my mother scrimped enough change to buy me my first hotdog. *i open a large set of ornately carved mahogany double doors* "and now ive amassed quite a fortune of hotdogs" *my guests gasp as they look upon my expansive hotdogarium as I beam with pride* |
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Oct 31, 2019 21:04
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Luvcow posted:*wearing a red smoking jacket and leading my guests through my enormous mansion* "as a young lad i never had many friends and my family didn't have much money. but one christmas my mother scrimped enough change to buy me my first hotdog. *i open a large set of ornately carved mahogany double doors* "and now ive amassed quite a fortune of hotdogs" *my guests gasp as they look upon my expansive hotdogarium as I beam with pride* Luvcow posted:hotdogarium
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Oct 31, 2019 22:35
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i invite everyone over for a pool party, and they are beyond pleased to discover the pool is filled with hotdogs!
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Nov 1, 2019 00:21
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Has that Ignatius P. Reilly costume in the bag this year. |
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Nov 1, 2019 07:22
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She pulls up to pick me up for our date, and to my ecstatic surprise - it's the goddamn bun car! I think this is the one
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Nov 1, 2019 14:18
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alnilam posted:She pulls up to pick me up for our date, and to my ecstatic surprise - it's the goddamn bun car! I think this is the one |
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Nov 1, 2019 14:43
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She looks nervously aside. "I know, it's kind of strange. A lot of people ask why anyone would need that many goddamn buns, but I -" I put my finger gently to her mouth. "I understand completely. Do you want to... come into my place for a moment?" |
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Nov 1, 2019 15:04
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don't mind me, just a guy who has way too much mustard.
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Nov 1, 2019 15:06
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Heather Papps posted:don't mind me, just a guy who has way too much mustard. the goddamn mustardcar and . . . what's that? [bwee-oo, bwee-oo] *nods to self* the krautmobile, right on time
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Nov 1, 2019 15:11
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 17:57 |
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yeah, that is the ketchup guy lying on the ground. no.... he isn't covered in ketchup. you gonna be cool about this or am i gonna have to see if you're up to mustard. cause, well, he wasn't.
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Nov 1, 2019 15:12
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