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lofi posted:Ta for the judging and brawling! I thought I did do iambic pentameter though? I apologize for mistaking you for a he! I missed your pronouns post. With regards to your meter, iambic can be tough as it has a lot to do with stress. It’s not as if you were 100% off the mark, and even with iambic pentameter you can have deviations, but they are largely pretty regulated. Things like “mind’s eye” “smeared out”- both words in those examples are stressed (within the poem, mind you, as those are monosyllabic), and thus are not an iamb. I was hyperbolizing a bit, your poem was mostly correct, just a few places where as I read I felt the stress wasn’t landing where you wanted. I welcome education, however, if I’m interpreting incorrectly.
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Nov 30, 2019 11:07
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Thankyou! I think tbh it's mostly a case of me not skilled enough to be able to dissect my own work accurately. I feel like a puppy having it's nose rubbed in it's poop and not being able to understand why all the humans turned nasty! I'm gonna get better, though, that's why I'm here. Always up for a rematch and/or more brawling.
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Nov 30, 2019 11:30
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lofi posted:Thankyou! I think tbh it's mostly a case of me not skilled enough to be able to dissect my own work accurately. I feel like a puppy having it's nose rubbed in it's poop and not being able to understand why all the humans turned nasty! I'm gonna get better, though, that's why I'm here. Seriously, the image you painted in that third tercet was quite funny. Don’t get down on yourself! I think all my poems are terrible, so I’m absolutely a hypocrite, but I’m very happy we’re all collaborating together to build a space where we can improve.
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Nov 30, 2019 17:16
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Hey, since participation is low, I’m taking off the War Week part. You can pick any of the beats and rap about whatever you please.
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Nov 30, 2019 20:47
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Saucy_Rodent posted:Hey, since participation is low, I’m taking off the War Week part. You can pick any of the beats and rap about whatever you please. Ok my rap is now directed at all of my competitors instead of just one individual Y’all better get ready to cry home to mama
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Nov 30, 2019 21:02
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Bitch I just got finished warming up, bring it. Do you want lyrics for the whole thing, or just a segment? I think the idea of writing 3m of rhymes might be intimidating some folks.
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Nov 30, 2019 22:05
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Whole thing, but there are plenty of bridges in each of them.
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Nov 30, 2019 22:16
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Poem Dome Week II: Crits 1. Lofi – Bath Bomb My interpretation: A self-described “addict” is taking a bath, complete with a bath bomb. The addict reflects on how much worse the future will be than the present, wondering what they’d say to the future’s suffering people. The addict expresses remorse for “all the fire” in the future (and perhaps in the present as well), and they note that their bath experience is ruined by it. The strengths: - “double glazing” is an economical way to depict sliding bath doors. - You were subtle enough to imply but not state exactly “what we’ve done to the world.” Nice touch. - The poem is enhanced by its relation to the epigraph. Both Sappho’s piece and yours give consideration to thoughts future people will have towards those in the present. Interestingly, I notice your piece is far bleaker than Sappho’s. That’s a welcome spin on the epigraph. The weaknesses: - There is an issue with tone. The emotional heft of the poem, “About what we've done to the world / And what I'd say to the future,” gets undercut by the glib terseness of its ending. - Though I complimented your subtlety, some parts of the language are too imprecise. Nothing wrong with vagueness in poetry if it’s in service to the piece, but I’m afraid some of the imprecision here doesn’t work well. For example, it’s unclear to me what makes the present evening “filthy.” I assume it’s not the narrator since they are already bathing and with a bath bomb no less. Perhaps the filth comes from smoke rising from the present-day fires which have already started? If so, there’s rather little in the poem to suggest that. In a similar vein, I don’t know what “addict” means here. Is the narrator an actual drug addict? If so, that seems very out-of-the-blue. Is the addiction instead to fossil fuels or the wars they encourage (bombs of a different sort)? Again, it’s great not to spell everything out in poetry, but latent meaning should encourage readers to search the piece more deeply. Yours sometimes threw me off. - There’s some clunky verse here. If you read the piece out loud, you may get what I mean. I realize of course that being free verse, the piece will have inconsistent meter, and that’s perfectly okay. But nevertheless there’s something off-kilter about the musicality of the piece. It seems as though the meter and actual number of syllables per line is just consistent enough across enough lines to make the brain start to expect patterns. And then whenever the piece significantly deviates from those expected patterns, it’s too jarring. - It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I’m curious to know what made you decide to capitalize the first word in each line. 2. Weltlich – The Reality of Hunting Dogs My interpretation: Seems straightforward. Grandchild recalls searching for a lost hunting dog with grandfather. They ended up finding the dog where they'd started: by their truck. But the dog had been bitten by a venomous snake. The strengths: - The poem is rhythmically and sonically well-crafted. - Some details in the poem’s structure support its meaning, e.g. “save one” being isolated by dashes. - It’s good that the poem feels done right where it ends. Too often I’ve read poetry that looks like the poet just sort of gave up instead of working a piece to completion. - Good enjambment in line 12, with “chill” completing the previous line but also priming the reader to imagine a “chill” dog acting like nothing was amiss. - I think you already know that rhyming poetry can be risky sometimes, in that if done poorly it can sound like a bad imitation of Mother Goose. Yet yours worked well. At no point did I think you forced a rhymed word into place merely because it rhymed rather than because it was the best word to use. - Despite the incorrect citation, the epigraph does enhance your poem, and your poem does live up to these verses of Lao Tzu. I note that the idea of ‘casting a wide net’ does imply the collection of something, and can also refer to conducting a broad search. But on my reading, your epigraph relates to your poem in deeper ways as well. Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching #73 highlights the benefits of wu wei, “inaction” or “inexertion”. The dog’s hunt here is an example of exertion gone wrong. Likewise, the grandfather and grandchild exert themselves searching for the dog, only to find her by their truck. One wonders if the snakebite might’ve been prevented or at least more quickly attended to had the poem’s humans just waited at the truck, trusting the dog to come back. Well done. The weaknesses: - Oof, you miscited Lao Tzu. You’ve quoted from Tao Te Ching #73, not 71. Since this week is about testing your facility with epigraphs, that’s a significant problem. - It looks like there’s a typo at the end of line 12, a hyphen where an em dash would be more appropriate. 3. Meinberg – Time Sucks My interpretation: An angst-plagued narrator laments their personal woes, then despairs of a dying world gripped by oligarchy. The strengths: - Strong choice of epigraph. - The poem reads like a stereotypical millenial’s lament and although that will irk some people, I personally feel some degree of connection to its message. One can understand where the narrator is coming from, even if one disagrees with their approach to dealing with what’s wrong in the world. It can be painful getting older in a bleaker world. The weaknesses: - Though the poem emphasizes that the rich olds cling to life, the epigraph holds that everyone will die (i.e. including oligarchs). Rather than explore any possible meaning or significance, even as a pyrrhic victory, in the oligarchs’ inevitable deaths, the narrator descends into ‘nothing-matters.’ - Despite being “older than [they] should be,” the narrator’s voice comes across as immature. The title reflects this immaturity, but so does the almost adolescent tone struck by the narrator’s angst. The voice isn’t likable, and that’s because of its passivity. I do realize Bhartrhari’s poem highlights our helplessness to escape the ravages of time. But it’s one thing to be passive with respect to aging, and another to be passive with respect to all of life. None of that is to say the narrator is devoid of good reason to lament, but their approach to suffering is not much more sophisticated than “I’m taking my ball and going home.” - It’s rather on-the-nose. The poem would be more artful if it had some subtlety, some sense of invitation for the reader to make interpretations. Otherwise, it could use a “volta,” a poetic turn which would help its progression. The piece is scarcely more than a list of complaints. It really needs to develop, to go somewhere. - Also, wouldn’t a question mark at the end of the last line work better? 4. Antivehicular – Lament, With Fantasies My interpretation: A woman who survived being raped by her male partner candidly details her fantasies about what should’ve happened to him. She also reflects on her own experience of pain in that toxic relationship. The strengths: - The characterization works well. I get a pretty strong sense of who the narrator is, and the differences between her past and present self. I empathize with her, and I experience lots of vicarious anger reading this piece. I also get a clear glimpse at just how awful her ex is. - You took a risk writing such intense content up to and including detailing some violent fantasy. I feel like in nearly all cases in which a poem would be this favorable to violent fantasy, the judges would rebuke it. But I think the risk pays off for you here; your piece makes it all work in a way that would be difficult for most similar poems to accomplish. Partly it works because of how much empathy the reader has for the narrator. I also like that it challenges the traditionally gendered expectation that violent fantasies are an essentially male experience. BTW that subversion kind of reminds me of the Innuendo Studios review of Fury Road, and that’s a good thing, but I digress. -The language is reasonably good; the final two lines are especially strong. - The poem benefits from its connection to the epigraph. One can see how depicting Aphrodite (love) as bloodied and disheveled primes the reader to examine a romantic relationship gone horribly wrong. And since Bion’s poem is a lament, it sets an appropriate tone for your lament. The weaknesses: - Although the poem shows readers how the narrator feels about her ex, I wish the poem detailed with more precision how the narrator feels about having these fantasies. What is a fantasy to her? Are the fantasies cordoned off in the recesses of her head such that she can explore intense, justifiably vengeful feelings on her own terms and in that relative mental safety? Or does she go through life actively burning at the forefront of her mind with the (understandable) wish for her ex to suffer? I know what her specific fantasies consist of, but I don’t know how the narrator tends to experience fantasy itself. - For all its strengths, the poem nevertheless resides very much on the surface. That is, it doesn’t call for the reader’s discovery, exploration, or subjective interpretation. The meaning and significance is all just there. As such, the reader is less able to engage more deeply with the piece. 5. Elentor – The Last Ennui My interpretation: Narrator waxes about wishing for non-existence. The strengths: - Strong thematic relationship between poem and epigraph. - The last line works fairly well for me. The weaknesses: - The first stanza is cliché, echoes of too well-trodden Hamlet language. - Third stanza is weak. The slant rhyme entropy/misery is awkward. As for the meaning, I do understand where you’re coming from using “entropy” here since it denotes decay or disorganization. However, without a smoother segue, it’s a rough transition to move from old-fashioned language discussing “the sleep of death” to the relatively modern physics concept of “entropy.” That is to say that, while thematically justified, the language of “entropy” still feels too out-of-the-blue, and disconnected from the rest of the poem’s lexicon. - Using archaic language is often a great choice, but its use has to be much smoother than this. - Since the choice of epigraph is the strongest part of the poem, the poem is eclipsed by it rather than enhanced by it. 6. sebmojo – it made me think of steve My interpretation: Seems straightforward. The narrator lost a loved one, Steve. Now the narrator sees things that remind them of Steve even in the clouds. The strengths: - Thank you for having courteously linked to a translation of your epigraph’s poem of origin. - This piece excels at striking a balanced tone. Your use of all-lowercase helps to bring about an informal, almost spur-of-the-moment feel. Your use of “marble rear end” makes the piece just irreverent enough to offset the harder hitting revelation of Steve’s passing. It is touching that Steve is still very much on the narrator’s mind, but your slight glibness keeps that from being overly sentimental. - The mid-hyphenated-word line breaks in line 1 and 4 simulate equine hoof clomps well, although I’m unclear on why you didn’t continue the pattern after the first two instances of it. The weaknesses: - I would be interested to know what others think, but for me you don’t actually need the parentheses. You do need the text inside them, of course, but the poem would be stronger, more poignant, if the last stanza was not relegated to being a mere parenthetical. 7. Saucy_Rodent – Olivia Something My interpretation: The narrator introduces a cemetery tucked away amidst an otherwise commercial space, then reflects on how a dead girl there has been all-but-ripped from memory. The strengths: - More than any other this week, yours was the poem which both lived up to its epigraph and was enhanced by it. - Everything about your poem exists in tight relation to its epigraph. After having quoted a Sappho fragment, you’ve laid out a piece that itself has a fragmentary feel. You’ve got short lines; the stanzas are narrow. The stanzas are justified on one side but jagged on the other (as if torn). Most of the individual lines, while sensible in the poem as-is, also feel like they could hint at some hypothetical additional words just beyond the text’s edge. - I like how your lack of commas between “a circle two dots a line,” evokes a sense of incompleteness. - All those details above reinforce the poem’s theme that remembrance is fragmentary. Like an ancient text, memory can be scant, incomplete, neglected, or lost. Even the poem’s title redacts the late subject’s last name. Then add the bonus that Sappho’s text suggests that she actually knew fragments of who she was would survive, and it just all comes together so well. - The poem does succeed as a response to Sappho. Her piece emphasizes what survives after fragmentation. Yours, while acknowledging what survives, explores in more depth what is lost. The more I think about this piece the more I love it. - If you were to get a few more crits on this, polish it up, and at some point eventually edit it out of the thread, some version of this piece might find a home at a journal. The weaknesses: - Your frequent use of commas at the end of lines in your first stanza doesn’t read like a careful, judicious choice on your part. Although you should keep some imo, since some look like they could lead to longer lines that aren’t there. - I guess the commercial space could tie in a bit better than as mere juxtaposition for the cemetery, but if you do that be careful not to shoehorn too much of that in, lest it seem too forced and not subtly fragmentary enough. 8. Jon Joe – As We Be My interpretation: The poem describes The Devil (or at least a devil). The strengths: - Cool choice of epigraph. I’m supposing it relates to the poem in that both pieces’ subjects have had a sort of fall from grace. The weaknesses: - You don’t need those commas at the end of your lines. - Although your poem relates to your epigraph, it is very much eclipsed by it. Sadly your piece is short on content. It offers little opportunity for the reader to make inferences, draw conclusions, reflect more deeply on the text. It reads as low effort. 9. flerp – An Elegy to a Supernova Down the Street My interpretation: - The narrator reflects on how a dead relative (presumably a grandparent) “burned out” due to geriatric infirmities. Likewise, the narrator considers how “burned out” the family got caring for that relative. The strengths: - Excellent use of metaphor. Well done. - It’s a strong, emotionally resonant piece. The weaknesses: - C’mon man, I mentioned three times in the prompt that the epigraph had to have been written by a named (i.e. not anonymous) poet. - Unclear why the second and third stanzas start with lowercase, while the first and fourth start with capital letters. - The poem might’ve been better if it structurally looked like it too was “burning out.” 10. Thranguy – The Vigilantes My interpretation: This sestina details a man and his daughter conning a community into believing some tool of his can bring rain. It doesn’t work, so someone fires a gun at the conman, but his daughter takes the bullet. The strengths: - Sestina, eh? Nice decision. Congrats for working with such a challenging and intricate form. The structure, the traditional meter, combined with the expansive vocabulary, give the piece an old-fashioned feel, which is appropriate for a week highlighting ancient epigraphs as well as for your poem’s apparent setting. - The poem relates to its epigraph appropriately. The weaknesses: - There’s nothing that says you have to keep strictly to your iambic pentamer. But once the regular pattern is set, too many deviations from it can get clunky. I think you have strayed from the iambs too often here. - Sometimes fairly weak words that don’t really deserve emphasis are getting the stress. Like “to” in line 6, “which” in line 16, “to” in line 18. - It’s challenging to give feedback because the piece’s faults tend to be unintended consequences of its sestina form. Its length is fixed by the form, but nevertheless the piece feels longer than its stanza-by-stanza content warrants. Likewise the piece doesn’t quite reach the level of drama it’s grasping at, but again I assume that’s because of the constraints. 11. GenJoe – Anglerfish My interpretation: The poem depicts the narrator watching a TV version of Troy for perhaps the sixth time, surrounded by modern yet ultimately unfulfilling amenities. The strengths: - The anecdote succeeds at suggesting the narrator’s life is bland and banal. Society too, given the “year of the flatscreen” and the adverts. - Yep, the poem and the epigraph sufficiently relate to each other. Thematically, since in their own respective ways, they each argue that humans are wretched. But also insofar as Homer, of course, wrote the source material from which the poem’s Brad Pitt movie derived. - Decent work. The weaknesses: - I actually wish you hadn’t directly said the movie was Troy. The reader can figure out what movie it is just based on your description of it, and then of course there’s the epigraph. - The piece doesn’t quite feel done. Seems like it ought to be expanded upon. Armack fucked around with this message at 01:53 on Dec 1, 2019 |
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Dec 1, 2019 00:40
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Ooh, big crits! Thanks!
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Dec 1, 2019 19:55
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Yes, great crits tyvm!
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Dec 1, 2019 20:09
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This prompt is hella dope and you're all hella lame for not being in and I'm in
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Dec 2, 2019 18:06
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ffs, now I gotta write another verse 
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Dec 2, 2019 18:14
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lofi posted:ffs, now I gotta write another verse
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Dec 2, 2019 18:20
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Well gently caress, looks like yall are slower on the draw again. I have no idea how to format this poo poo, so I put timestamps to keep you vaugely on-track reading it.quote:Lyrics for 'Eternal
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Dec 3, 2019 19:12
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Time stamps for when I'd come in and where (approximately) the lines should be ending. Briefest of pauses at the end of each line. Hopefully you'll get the intended rhythm. To the tune of "Tears" Real Depth (in @ 0’08”) I came to the Dome (0’10”) To be a destructor (0’12”) Put rhymes on hot tracks (0’14”) Just like a conductor (0’16”) Put dimes on thot backs (0’18”) I’ll be your instructor (0’20”) You brought in fake depth (0’23”) But just spew garbage poo poo (0’25”) They can’t spin those lines (0’27”) Should just go home and quit (0’29”) Down in the real depth (0’31”) you’ll choke on lyrics I spit (0’34”) (in @ 0’44”) My flow is an ocean (0’46”) The crushing tide (0’48”) I’ll swallow you whole (0’50”) And drown you inside (0’52”) get smashed by my words (0’54”) they call me the hammer (0’56”) I’ll bust your skull open (0’58”) And spray the gray matter (1’00”) (in at 1’09”) Enten’s Trash Midas (1’11”) Turns it all to ashes (1’13”) Both photos and poems (1’15”) burning like car crashes (1’17”) Lofi’s lookin’ stupid (1’19”) Wide-eyed like fat cattle (1’21”) with imprecise rhymes (1’24” she’s worthless like chattel (1’26”) Jon Joe knows the score (1’28”) his dishonor’s a stain (1’30”) I poo poo kids like him (1’32”) he just runs down the drain (1’34”) My flow is an ocean (1’37”) The darkest abyss (1’39”) I’ll swallow you down (1’41”) With my anchor of diss (1’43”) (in @ 2’02”) I’m king of this hill (2’04”) I preach from this pulpit (2’06”) You all are weak hacks (2’08”) Bringing the deep bullshit (2’10”) You hope for peak smack (2’12”) But you don’t have the clout (2’14”) Take your geek track (2’16”) And get the gently caress out (2’18”)
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Dec 3, 2019 21:32
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Also, in atonement for that truly terrible rap I just posted, here is an attempt at a Poem Dome winner gangtag. I think the size/dimensions are all correct. Walt can be saying anything you'd like him to.
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Dec 3, 2019 22:51
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Nice! I was thinking of "I wondered lonely as a Can I request next week we do something a bit lighter? 2 poo poo-talkings in a row is making me hungry for a change.
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Dec 3, 2019 23:15
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lofi posted:Nice! I was thinking of "I wondered lonely as a Agreed! Let's get some lighthearted stuff in here, whoever wins. Also how about Walt saying "I celebrate myself" or "I am the poet of the Soul"? a little more uplifting, less associated with 420?
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Dec 4, 2019 02:15
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Who is walt?
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Dec 4, 2019 04:26
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Walt Whitman. If you have yet to read some of his poetry it is amazing (though not everyone’s cup of tea).
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Dec 4, 2019 04:33
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I'll stick it on the list!  At the moment I think the tag is a bit more tcc than cc, yeah.
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Dec 4, 2019 04:42
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lofi posted:
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Dec 4, 2019 05:57
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Too fast flashing, depending how obnoxious you're aiming for.
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Dec 4, 2019 06:46
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lofi posted:Too fast flashing, depending how obnoxious you're aiming for.  sorry for the m-m-m-multipost everyone. This is the current iteration, slower with color changes.
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Dec 4, 2019 07:41
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Looking good!
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Dec 4, 2019 11:07
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Hi Diss track #2 (the first one was too lit) https://soundcloud.com/entenzahn/diss-track-no-2 Entenzahn, motherfucker Back from the dead Not the villain you deserve but the villain you need Crispy duck, come in hot Dropping Szechuan lines Setting milquetoasts on fire with my writing advice Don't preface your stories Don't assume that I care Don't be three lovely writers who step to me The OG MC This win is 2 EZ, for me But alas, I get ahead of meself Jon Joe, Mafia Man The only guy I know in here Five hundred posts a day about games and memes If you'd spent half that time writing you might have actually been some kind of a threat to me testing me Instead I look at your resumé: One loss Five DMs And winning "Do your Worst" week This track is called 'Tears' for a reason, "mate" Lofi, you got talent Kind of a graphical artisté And that's cute, but cute gimmicks won't be saving you this week I paint a Rembrandt with my words Your first poem was a .jpg Maybe learn to read the time before you're messing with the apex Predator of Thunderdome Looking for my prey Can I get a sephirothIRA Dude you're about to get gobbled up Gonna drop the mic on you like banhammer Best toxx yourself before I go bananas Smash you to pieces and ride to Valhalla "Oh Mr. Entenzahn, why you so mean?" Kid you gotta learn to lose before you learn how to win Everybody everywhere get your hands up Entenzahn about to tie this whole week up The saddest gallery of losers That I ever had to wreck If I would leave you duds alone You'd use your words to hang yourself Wrap you up and tie a bow Empty postage send you home Four men enter one man leaves, bitch Welcome to Poem Dome
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Dec 5, 2019 01:29
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Reality How many times (0:02-0:03) Have I had to tell you (0:05-0:06) To shut (0:08) Up (0:10) (Beat plays 0:10-0:14) Everybody's thinking they're sinking the crusade (0:15-0:17) but they're stinking after drinking that Kool-Aid (0:18-0:20) They're claiming they're famous with a little bit of aimless (0:20-0:22) pointless, brainless, tasteless, painless (0:23-0:25) appeal to a higher authority (0:26-0:27) (Chorus plays 0:28-0:30) I want something real, to touch and feel (0:30-0:32) In my heart, and on my heels (0:33-0:35) to tell a story to this beat (0:35-0:37) to help a little, to reduce the heat (0:38-0:40) brought about by this 'elite' (0:41-0:42) I won't pretend like I'm so street (0:43-0:45) 'cause when I think about it, I cry a lot (0:45-0:47) This is a really hosed up plot (0:48-0:50) (Beat plays 0:50-05:54) I'm not mad (05:54-05:55) I'm just disappointed (05:57-05:58)
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Dec 5, 2019 05:00
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Everyone who entered submitted. Judging shouldn’t take long, I’ll see if weltlich agrees with my takes.
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Dec 5, 2019 06:17
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Please let me know if you all like the gang tag, and we can see if sebmojo is willing to give it out to the winners. If you have some different ideas, post 'em here, I'm happy to keep working on it.
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Dec 5, 2019 06:40
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RESULTS Neither of the judges could get a handle on lofi’s poorly formatted flow. She loses. Jon Joe gets an HM for making something nice with a difficult track. Sephiroth IRA made the most coherent rap. Our glorious founder returns to the poem throne.
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Dec 5, 2019 14:26
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You just couldn't handle my power, clearly. 
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Dec 5, 2019 16:16
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sephiRoth IRA posted:Also, in atonement for that truly terrible rap I just posted, here is an attempt at a Poem Dome winner gangtag. I think the size/dimensions are all correct. Walt can be saying anything you'd like him to. I would participate solely in the hopes of getting this particular tag, which would make everyone in BYOB very jealous. The other ones I'm not into, but this one, yeah. Speaking of participating...I guess CC people have been doing dome stuff so long that everyone more or less just knows how it works but let me say as a noob, what I want to know is: when do I need to check back on this thread to get in on the ground floor of the next challenge? It's quite possibly explained somewhere, or lots of places, but I am sorry, although I know how to write, I do not know how to read. Thans.
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Dec 5, 2019 17:31
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e: Thanks.
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Dec 5, 2019 17:32
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Good news! I’m currently working up the next prompt. So you’re on the ground floor So far this thread has been on a schedule of prompt on Thurs/Fri, Sign ups by Mon, Submit by Wednesday, repeat. So if you check in over the weekend you can ensure you’re hitting the sign up period. This might change over time, though.
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Dec 5, 2019 17:38
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Week 4: Odes I agree with lofi, let's get away from the darker times of battle raps and trying to burn each other and go back to more spirited, uplifting times with odes! An ode is basically a poetic form of praise that originated in ancient Greece. The old school greek poets (Pindar, etc.) used them to celebrate victories and generally let everyone know this particular person, place, or thing was pretty awesome. Odes can have multiple formats, laid out effectively in this Poetry 101 description: Poetry 101 posted:Pindaric ode. Pindaric odes are named for the ancient Greek poet Pindar, who lived during the 5th century BC and is often credited with creating the ode poetic form. A Pindaric ode consists of a strophe, an antistrophe that is melodically harmonious, and an epode. Pindaric poems are also characterized by irregular line lengths and rhyme schemes. Strophe? Antistrophe? What the gently caress is this greek poo poo? The idea is that a proper Greek ode has these three parts to provide structure and varying themes throughout the poem. The strophe is just a collection of verses with a particular theme, followed by the antistrophe which acts as a counterbalance. The antistrophe might repeat certain words or phrases from the strophe to give emphasis. The epode gives a nice resolution. These concepts are commonly found in greek plays! Pen and Pad posted:Strophe Here's part of an ode as an example: Progress of Posey by Thomas Gray posted:I.1. We see here that Gray has given us a triad with a strophe, antistrohpe, and epode. You might notice that the strophe and antistrophe have the same meter and rhyme scheme, while the epode is distinct. This is by design. Poetry 101 posted:Horatian ode. Named after Roman poet Horace, who lived during the 1st century, the Horatian ode consists of two- or four-line stanzas that share the same meter, rhyme scheme, and length. Unlike the more formal Pindaric ode, the Horatian ode traditionally explores intimate scenes of daily life. The whole idea of the ode is to use beautiful, evocative language to glorify a particular subject. Regardless of which format you use or subject you pick, strive for your ode to be lyrical. Poetry 101 posted:Irregular ode. Irregular odes follow neither the Pindaric form nor the Horatian form. Irregular odes typically include rhyme, as well as irregular verse structure and stanza patterns. And since we're in the future, some people just do whatever the hell they want. Here is "Ode to an Earthquake" by Ram Mehta: quote:What a day you chose, Grandma Mine! No rhyme, varied meter, no strophe/antistrophe/epode. Still, this ode uses powerful language to chastise the earthquake- almost the opposite of what odes are typically designed to do. THE PROMPT: I would like you to pick an ode format and write us a nice poem glorifying something you think deserves to be glorified. This could be a person, a concept, something in nature, your cheeto-stained keyboard, whatever you'd like. The point of this exercise is to use really deep, lyrical language to paint us a picture of why we should agree with you about the coolness of your subject. Also, because I'm giving you format freedom here, ensure that if you pick a rhyme scheme / particular meter you stick to it, especially so if you deign to write a Pindaric ode; that antistrophe better match the strophe to a T. You are the master of your own fate. Sign-ups by Monday, Dec 9 by 11:00PM PT Submission by Wednesday, Dec 11 by 11:00PM PT If you would like to make your life more difficult, you can toxx and I will assign you a subject for your ode. My whims are capricious, so be warned. Entrants: 1. Djeser 2. flerp 3. Armack 4. Thranguy Judges: 1. SephiRoth IRA 2. ??? sephiRoth IRA fucked around with this message at 02:26 on Dec 6, 2019 |
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Dec 5, 2019 19:14
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Dec 5, 2019 20:30
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Dec 5, 2019 20:44
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Dec 5, 2019 21:20
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Dec 5, 2019 23:06
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sephiRoth IRA posted:We see here that Gray has given us a triad with a strophe, antistrohpe, and epode. You might notice that the strophe and antistrophe have the same meter and rhyme scheme, while the epode is distinct. This is by design. I gotta be honest, this has me confused. I do not see the second section as any kind of refutation or complication of the first, just a continuation. I looked up the poem, and it's in three sections of three stanzas each, and it is definitely the case that the second of these three sections complicates what the first brings up, so in that sense I can see the strophe-antistrophe-epode structure, but within the section you've posted here? I don't see it at all.
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Dec 6, 2019 05:09
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