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Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
I'll give poetry a whack why not

IN

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Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
A fountain pen in motion
Its words, in black, are still.
Yet, one day, the pen will stay
for words to move its will.

This poem was entitled “Write a Will, You Chucklefucks” by Azza Bamboo.

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
wait did I just hide a limerick in four lines

hahahahahahaha if your death poem doesn't beat an oddly formatted limerick I feel bad for you.

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
Heed this to prevent our begrudging
Fast judging is good judging

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
I'm not mad. I made the verse and when I tried to add to it, it seemed to subtract from it, so I threw it out as is.

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
PROMPT

Post right on my parted tits, please
rose ovals meet pearl tears' pouring release
overflowing melting pathways that pass right over
my plumpish tummy, pulsating round overwhelming movement
pleasant tasting, prime raunchy odour, my person
tires, pants, relaxes, offers my "post" too

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

sephiRoth IRA posted:


Also Azza, wanna brawl?

Let's go!

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

Maugrim posted:

All the greatest artists are tortured souls, so you're just fitting in!

I'll judge the brawl. To offset the fairly wrenching prompt we've just had, I want to see pleasant poems about wholesome nature things like trees or brooks. Extra credit if you fit in a pleasant meter such as iambs or anapaests and some sort of rhyming scheme.

E: deadline is midnight GMT next Saturday I guess

:toxx: in

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
Firstly, in.

Secondly:

I'm going to ask for a bit of an elaboration on this, because it's a completely novel concept to me and I don't want to get this too wrong.

I get the feeling it's like you're sat with the book, a pair of scissors and a glue stick trying to arrange a text into poetry. Are we allowed to add any words or is it just that: cutting, pasting, arranging like a collage only with words instead of images?

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
Forgotten British Rule

We don’t wear armour suits in parliament.
We should practice archery once a week,
then drive our geese through London’s city streets.
These rules, still in force, many remember.

Forgotten her Majesty’s government’s
Official Department for Transport is.
In particular their Highway Code’s
most forgotten Rule One Hundred and Three.

Signals Warn and Inform other persons
of your intended actions on the road.
Road Users should always give clear signals
With plenty of time before changing course,
stopping,
or moving off, remembering one thing:

Signalling does not give priority.

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
Brawl poem

As Spring Comes.

Exchange of seasons over rolling moors.
Harsh winter’s final winds drink our skin’s heat.
This warmth spring’s early beaming sun restores,
along bright fields of golden waving wheat.

This path whose earth does fill the tread of shoes,
bears marks of those who fell before my walk.
Wet earth that slips like grease, and thus I choose
to tread the grass’ green emerging stalks.

To crest hills tall and face blue open sky,
where roaring winds like waves do crash and flow.
Embrace this tide with open arms that I
might dance like purple creeping phlox below.

I hold the winter’s winds at season’s end.
All seasons, harsh or fair, are welcome friends.

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

Maugrim posted:

a pleasant meter such as iambs or anapaests

Funny how that worked out

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
Thanks for the crit. I don't get this word order stuff and I'm rearranging the words around the French knife not really seeing that it sounds insane at all. Nonetheless I'll try to abide this rule because the language is full of this arbitrary crap I don't really get.

Is there an explanation for why or how it's wrong? I ask because the author of your passage relies on the assumption that anything else sounds insane, and I'm not getting that. I'd rather understand what's going on than have to sit with the list, checking my adjectives every time.

Azza Bamboo fucked around with this message at 08:58 on Feb 14, 2020

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
To be fair I've had a working class upbringing in an old dying industrial town and now I work in factories with mainly people who don't speak English as their first language. I wouldn't be surprised if I process language differently to the kind of degree-having city dweller that normally writes the books we read. I might just have to use a list.

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
Ach that's my fault. I didn't realise documentary meant documenting a person's experience. I thought it was just documenting a subject, like nature documentaries or there's even a documentary on the history of Yamaha in the front of my motorcycle's service manual. I was trying to co-opt the style of that kind of "for your information" documentary to share something I think people need to know. It probably borders on mockumentary at that point.

Anyway, thants for the crit.

Azza Bamboo fucked around with this message at 01:32 on Feb 19, 2020

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
in

To Be Sung From Both Sides Of A Misery Whip

Lumberjack was high up the tree
Curled right back as the wind blew free
Threw him out to the deep blue sea
And we never saw its lumber

But there’s not a thing we haven’t seen before
There’ll be wood to cut, of that we can be sure
As, for every tree, there’s a hundred more
To provide us all our lumber

Ox driver had loaded his cart
Took to the reins while pissed as a fart
The roadside ditch tore his wheels apart
And we never saw his lumber

But there’s not a thing we haven’t seen before
There’ll be wood to cut, of that we can be sure
As, for every tree, there’s a hundred more
To provide us all our lumber

The huntsmen had slain a wild boar
They cooked the beast on the forest floor
Their forest burned from the fields to the moor
And we never saw its lumber

But there’s not a thing we haven’t seen before
There’ll be wood to cut, of that we can be sure
As, for every tree, there’s a hundred more
To provide us all our lumber

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
If you're struggling to hear the poem out loud, it can be fit into the tune of "Skip to my Lou."

That's not how I heard it in my head, but it works.

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
I just want to thank everyone who turned up to witness my amazing victory.

And now on to the prompt:

A Peculiar Feeling

I want this week (and a few days) to be a bit of fun and something that's hopefully not intimidating at all.

I want you to write me a Limerick. I'm not requiring crude humor, but I'm not going to ban it either. The only real requirement is that it's a poem of five lines following the traditional meter and rhyming pattern of a limerick.

Have fun!

Hellrule: If you want a challenging flash, I'll give you the first line of the limerick which will read something like "There once was a [man/woman] [called/from] [flash]" remember, this line will determine most of your poem's rhymes, so flash at your peril.

I'm giving you until 23:00 PST on the 14th

Judges

Old Ladies From Ealing

Saucy Rodent - Flash "There once was a man from Beijing"

sephiRoth - Flash "There once was a woman named Laura"

Djeser

Thranguy - Flash "There once was a man from Peru"

Doctor Eckhart - Flash "There once was a woman called Kia"

Cda

Yoruichi

Azza Bamboo fucked around with this message at 17:15 on Apr 12, 2020

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

Saucy_Rodent posted:

flash me daddy

There once was a man from Beijing

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

sephiRoth IRA posted:

I’ll play with flash

There once was a woman named Laura

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

Thranguy posted:

In and flash

There once was a man from Peru

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

Doctor Eckhart posted:

In, and flash me

There once was a woman called Kia

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

sephiRoth IRA posted:

Can I replace “woman” with something different, or would that break the flash?

I'm not going to disqualify you for making an entry with a broken flash, but it does break the flash and that could hurt in tiebreaker situations.

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
Submissions close in 17 hours 48 minutes (11PM PST April 14th). You may enter until the submission deadline without a flash, but entries with a flash are now closed.

Really enjoyed the poems so far.

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
Subs closed will read and judge within the next hour, crits tomorrow.

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Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018


THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
Firstly I want to say that every entry at least made me chuckle, so nobody's limerick was an outright fail where it really counts - the humor.

The WIN goes to Djeser. I think going for the vulgar/sexual themes always pays dividends in the realm of limericks, and the best way to do that is to have your reveal in the last line. It's very effective and got a laugh from me.

HMs go to Thranguy, for writing something with fantastic comic imagery, and to Yoruichi for a very well executed poem.

DM goes to SephiRoth for a poem that slightly drops the ball on the meter, but that spared itself from a loss for its strong second line.

The Loss goes to SaucyRodent. I didn't particularly go for the stress on May-Ting, although I understand that being dealt "Beijing" as a flash is partly to blame. Also I felt like the sting wasn't particularly as well developed as the stories in other limericks this week.

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