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Meyers-Briggs Testicle posted:'what kind of product do you make' don't doxx my work thing
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Nov 21, 2019 22:14
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agile is a tool that you buy after a particularly convincing salesman convinces you and you opt in to the implementation plan where some contractor does the agile and then you are done forever. You are now and will forever be agile.
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Nov 21, 2019 22:19
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wait, it's actually a thing you buy? like a discrete product? or is it like one of those self help scams? does tony robbins sell agile? does dr. phil?
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Nov 21, 2019 22:32
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President Beep posted:wait, it's actually a thing you buy? like a discrete product? or is it like one of those self help scams? getting things done is basically scrum for individuals but there might be a niche there for a talented enough huckster. work in meditation and some bullshit brain pills and you might have something
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Nov 21, 2019 22:49
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do a 15 minute daily standup and then after the standup before diving into your day meditate for 15 minutes
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Nov 21, 2019 22:50
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Hammerite posted:??? my professional experience is that poo poo never gets shown to customers (or even to sales) until it's far too late for anyone to give any input, and that the primary role of agile is to make sure everyone has 1-2 deadlines a week to meet
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Nov 21, 2019 22:51
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gonna vipassana the poo poo out of this race condition
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Nov 21, 2019 22:51
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no i seriously want to know what it is that they're calling an "epic"
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Nov 21, 2019 22:51
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Sham bam bamina! posted:no i seriously want to know what it is that they're calling an "epic" a collection of stories
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Nov 21, 2019 22:52
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bacon. nancy pelosi clapbacks. updating the config page UI.
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Nov 21, 2019 22:53
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I use agile processes to help keep nerds from building ridiculously complicated solutions that do nothing to solve customer problems but only serve to massage their own engineering egos.
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Nov 21, 2019 22:53
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pokemon go to the kanban board
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Nov 21, 2019 23:11
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qirex posted:getting things done is basically scrum for individuals but there might be a niche there for a talented enough huckster. uniscrum
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Nov 21, 2019 23:22
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rotor posted:uniscrum 
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Nov 21, 2019 23:26
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qirex posted:a collection of stories quote:An agile epic is a body of work that can be broken down into specific tasks (called “stories,” or “user stories”) based on the needs/requests of customers or end users.
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Nov 21, 2019 23:43
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agile is stupid but trello is useful for irl poo poo
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Nov 22, 2019 00:04
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agile is fine actually, it works about as well as most software development methodologies, which is to say not very well
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Nov 22, 2019 00:26
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Main Paineframe posted:my professional experience is that poo poo never gets shown to customers (or even to sales) until it's far too late for anyone to give any input, and that the primary role of agile is to make sure everyone has 1-2 deadlines a week to meet ok. I do not know whether that is technically agile TM or not but it sounds bad.
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Nov 22, 2019 00:26
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one of the problems is that 'agile' is so poorly defined anyone can say they do it at any time. as a dude who wants a successful software product produced, I'd be pushing for xp. as a dude who writes that software, i would not want to work in an xp shop.
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Nov 22, 2019 00:29
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agile is when you give up entirely on the boring work of “planning” and “designing” and just throw junk at the wall and see if it is pleasing to the customer. every team ive ever seen claim to be doing agile skips that part... that one part that actually makes agile worth a drat - the quick regular feedback. they just go do waterfall with no design or upfront plan and have sprints and standups and wonder why nothing works at all ever.
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Nov 22, 2019 00:30
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power botton posted:gonna vipassana the poo poo out of this race condition i fuckin love vipassana it’s one of the most valuable things ever learns ❤️❤️❤️ sam harris
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Nov 22, 2019 00:32
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Jonny 290 posted:agile is stupid but trello is useful for irl poo poo while this is true, isn’t it also extremely apple and baseball bats as far as not even similar things except they both exist in the computer realm trello owns
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Nov 22, 2019 00:39
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power botton posted:do a 15 minute daily standup and then after the standup before diving into your day meditate for 15 minutes https://youtu.be/F_2EdnWHUNk I urge everyone deeply to give this the time to see if flourish
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Nov 22, 2019 00:40
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fresh_cheese posted:every team ive ever seen claim to be doing agile skips that part... that one part that actually makes agile worth a drat - the quick regular feedback. here's the thing: if you change your users' software every sprint they're going to hate you way more than they already do, even if you're making it better. "release early and get feedback" ignores this fact most agile also assumes that everyone in your whole org is 1. also doing agile and 2. are on the same schedule as your team, if you have a contracting partner who was hired to build feature x by date y they will never give a gently caress about your sprints, only their contractually obligated completion date
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Nov 22, 2019 00:47
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Jonny 290 posted:agile is stupid but trello is useful for irl poo poo johnny, can you please tell me more? i’d unironically like to get more organized at work so something that works for non-computer touchers would be good.
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Nov 22, 2019 00:58
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this is now a serious thread. please help me i’m some species of functioning idiot but it’ll all come apart at the seams any time now.
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Nov 22, 2019 01:00
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President Beep posted:this is now a serious thread. please help me i’m some species of functioning idiot but it’ll all come apart at the seams any time now.
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Nov 22, 2019 01:01
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i just use 4 column trellos: "someday", "this week", "in progress" and "done". move things from someday to this week once a week, then work out of there. i am very bad at organizing and any advice past that which i would give you would likely be flawed + cause me to get mocked but thats a start
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Nov 22, 2019 01:03
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qirex posted:congratulations, you're now the scrum master first i lead the scrum then i feed your mum
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Nov 22, 2019 01:14
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after ive written requirements I will go over them with a customer and theres rarely nasty surprises that they dont like what we did or we totally missed the mark. talking to them with actual mockups and requirements helps structure a discussion and often gets them to think of things they do need or are important to them. if youre just like "HEY WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS VAGUE IDEA??!?!" 90% of the time theyre like sure whatever that seems cool if theyre already licensed for it or like someone mentioned they aren't thinking about all the natural assumptions they have about a particular solution based on their real world experience. even if we start with a vague open ended question ill get a real proposal in front of them before anyone touches code. its a very easy way to avoid disasters but I guess most people dont do that? if things change during our development ill touch base with the customer and discuss it. as long as youre vaguely transparent and deliver what you promised and get customers involved if/when things changed thats 1000x better than cutting someone new builds to install constantly. maybe give a functional demo from your end once you have an early kinda working build. power botton fucked around with this message at 01:23 on Nov 22, 2019 |
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Nov 22, 2019 01:20
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or as rotor said all software development sucks but for some reason developers seem to love agile so whatever let the babies have their toys
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Nov 22, 2019 01:22
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agile is where you basically do waterfall but break down the waterfall bits into bits that can ostensibly be done over 1-2 weeks. at the end you poo poo out a product with obvious flaws that could have been caught in about 3 minutes had anyone actually tried to use the thing, rather than just confirming that tests pass. this garbage is then provided to customers and will basically remain as originally written forever while engineering teams move onto the next block of sprints to produce new flawed things, most of which will only be used by the one customer who screamed real loud about really really needing something that they will likely also cease using after the one person there who wanted it leaves or moves into management eventually some of the garbage might be replaced with complete rewrites that try to improve on some of the more egregious bad design decisions while introducing a suite of new ones.
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Nov 22, 2019 06:54
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planning poker except its more like russian roulette. spin the cylinder and see which story comes in around estimated and which one blows your loving head off.
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Nov 22, 2019 07:42
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think we're gonna have to push this thread to the next sprint
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Nov 22, 2019 07:48
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power botton posted:bacon. nancy pelosi clapbacks. updating the config page UI. lol
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Nov 22, 2019 08:06
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KDE Perry posted:think we're gonna have to push this thread to the next sprint
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Nov 22, 2019 13:55
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Y'all have worked in some bad shops lol
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Nov 22, 2019 15:56
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Skyl3lazer posted:Y'all have worked in some bad shops lol Why do you think anyone posts in yospos bithc
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Nov 22, 2019 16:01
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Captain Foo posted:Why do you think anyone posts in yospos it's true
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Nov 22, 2019 16:13
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Skyl3lazer posted:Y'all have worked in some bad shops lol
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Nov 22, 2019 16:49
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